DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2009

Sep

Halle Berry Goes Shopping of the Day

4 Comments »

Halle Berry sure has come a long way from the burlap sack and her no bed, no electricity, no running water shanty she shared with 40 other black families back on the plantation. I wonder if she ever looks back at the time when she was just a black kid watching her family working the plantation fields learning how to sew, you know a time that I bet she never thought she’d be in Hollywood all glamorous and on the big screen spending her afternoons buying herself designer clothes, living in designer houses, driving luxury cars and getting knocked up by white male models. The whole thing is like a fairytale, Disney should make a cartoon about her life or some shit….

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Halle Berry|Shopping

2009

Sep

Gemma Atkinson’s 2010 Calendar Preview of the Day

4 Comments »

Remember Gemma Atkinson, that UK bitch with big tits who was all over the fuckin’ place over the course of the last 5 years until one day pretty much dropping off the map, or at least out of my view and I totally forgot about her, because ugly chicks with big tits who get photoshopped into something worth fucking aren’t that appealing to me, unless they are riding my face like a T-Bar at the ski hill, but here she is tryin to make us remember her everyday of the year with this 2010 Calendar, something you’d think would be outdated now that we have smartphones, computers, digital cameras and watches with the date all over the shit, but I guess no one said she was an innovator, and I guess there will always be a weird immigrant mechanic keepin’ up tradition from the old country who likes to have seemingly hot sluts posing next to dates, but I find the whole thing dull…

Posted in:2010 Calendar|Gemma Atkinson

2009

Sep

Esti Ginzborg Israeli Bikini Model in a Bikini in Israel of the Day

2 Comments »

Her name is Esit Ginzborg and she is an Israeli model who was recently in Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. So she’s young and up and coming and she spends her life in a bikini on the beaches of Tel Aviv and she looks pretty hot to me.

I figured I’d post her pictures in honor of September 11, because you’d think living in Israel she’d would actually have a right to fear terrorism since it’s in her backyard and a regular thing, but I guess she isn’t as theatrical as Americans are with their terrorism, you know from money making TV specials to Amber alerts and serious racism towards Arabs, and instead she is bein’ laid back and kickin’ it on the fuckin’ beach, a lesson some of you should learn from…..because you can’t live in fucking fear, except of AIDS after the condom breaks when fucking hookers…

Another lesson you can learn from September 11th, it is that working kills.

Pics via SplashNews

Posted in:Bikini|Esti Ginzborg|Israel|Tel Aviv

2009

Sep

2010 Hooters Catalog Preview of the Day

No Comments »

I like to think I have a refined palate, you know one that has traveled the world tasting the best foods each nation has to offer and on that journey that is my life, I have come across Hooters and although the concept was seemingly genius, you know busty chicks in booty shorts serving me food, until seeing that none of them were hot and girls at downtown bars and restaurants dress sluttier than those trashy suburban Hooters costumes. Either way, the place made me sick to my fucking stomach when trying to eat one of their shitty fuckin’ meals, which didn’t surprise me considering everything that comes out of the USA is good in theory, but smells and tastes like shit. I’m talking to you Lady Gaga.

Here is a preview of their 2010 calendar….with sluts who definitely don’t work at my local Hooters.

Posted in:Catalog|Hooters

2009

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

I realized that sobriety fucks me up. I was totally sober last night. I only drank two glasses of the shittiest wine you can imagine and took a couple downers some inuit prostitute gave me in exchange for a cigarette, and didn’t manage to get my stepLINKS up, which was a real tragedy, but today, I drank a hell of a lot and I’m doing the responsible thing. I wish I had a boss to give me a raise, or some time off for my good behavior, but there’s just me here….oh well….on my way home I saw at least 5 or 6 different people in different parts of town throwing up drunk. I guess that’s some kind of sign from god, just not sure what the message is…..

Here are is my stepLINK….

Man I Think Lindsay Lohan is Completely Retarded
GO

The Worlds Fastest…..
GO

$20 Say Holly Madison Can Deep Throat That Pickle
GO

Because I Don’t Know About You, But I Have a Hangover and Busting a Load Always Seems to Help
GO

Kate Moss Panty Up Skirt
GO

Some Penny Cruz Hotness
GO

Cartoon Porn!!!
GO

If You Don’t Watch This Video, You’re Retarded
GO

The 10 Sexiest Sorority Girls
GO

Ultimate Flipbook Compilation
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

The 7 Most Annoying People On Your Company Softball Team
GO

Ahhhh Kate Beckinsale
GO

Kathy Griffen is Dresses as Kate Gosselin and It’s Kind of Amazing
GO

Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page Fake Lesbianism for Marie Claire
GO

Love Me Some Halle Berry
GO

God I Wanna Kill Gwenyth Paltrow
GO

And More Lady GaGa Disgustingness
GO

Catrin Claeson Lingerie
GO

Whose Got the Best Boobs?
GO

Who Doesn’t Love Model Nipple Slips
GO

Luna Shows Her Tits Off
GO

FINALLY THE MEGAN FOX SEX TAPE
GO

Meet Cindy Hope
GO

Nothing Like a Good Old Gang Beating – VIDEO
GO

AND NOW THE BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER MADE EVER
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

And More Lindsay Lohan Twitter Craziness
GO

And More From the Octocrazy
GO

Joanna Krupa is Half Naked
GO

Big Tit Fight
GO

Man I Forget How Hot Keri Hilson is Sometimes
GO

Christine Mendoza Peels Off Her Bikini
GO

Ali Riviera is Kind of Weird Looking But I Would Still Fuck Her
GO

Kanya West Hates Liza Minelli
GO

Can Someone Explain What’s Going On With These Poodles?
GO

You May Kiss The Bride
GO

Peaches and Ivette
GO

Babes Who Love Weed, a Gallery
GO

Michael Jackson’s Final Farewell…For Real This Time
GO

TAYLOR MOMSEN IS BLONDE, 16, AND LOOKS GREAT IN HOT LEATHER!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

Sep

Pregnant Penelope Cruz Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Another one bites the dust….RIP Penelope Cruz’s sex appeal cuz bitch is reportedly knocked the fuck up. It happens to the best of them, I mean she’s just being a woman. We can’t really hate her, especailly when her nose was so fucking big, it was almost hard to love her, so if anything it all makes sense.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Pregnant

2009

Sep

Kyra Sedgwick Showing Off Her Bra of the Day

2 Comments »

Since Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick went broke thanks to Madoff, she’s realized that there is always a bulletproof, real easy way to make money to pay the bills and that’s to take off her fuckin’ clothes and show the world her underwear, or maybe she is not covering up because she can’t affort to buy a shirt with enough fabric to not be see thru and for that I’d like to take a minute to celebrate poverty and all the good things it does for us, like making girls desperate or too broke to cover-up.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bra|Kyra Sedgwick

2009

Sep

Sophie Monk has a Stalker Who Isn’t Me of the Day

No Comments »

Sophie Monk apparently has a stalker, I call bullshit, because everyone knows that she has herpes, and people with herpes never get stalked, they kinda get drunkenly fucked when people don’t really realize how much of a pain in the ass herpes actually is, because they are drunk, until waking up to pimples on their dick a few weeks later, wondering why they did what the did for only a few minutes of pleasure, unless I guess her stalker has herpes too, which is also possible, cuz I hear stalkers aren’t always the most hygienic or careful people when it comes to sexuality…..Not that I know for a fact that she has herpes, I just like to believe a herpes outbreak is what broke up her engagement to the Good Charlotte sister, its how she found out he cheated on her.

Here she is with her “Bodyguard”. I call bullshit on this and think she’s just trying to get some buzz cuz she can’t get work…you know show the producers how wanted she is by faking a stalker. Pathetic.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Sophie Monk|stalker

2009

Sep

Girls Next Door do Kendra Wilkinson’s Baby Shower of the Day

4 Comments »

I hate this Girl’s Next Door bullshit 3-way relationship Hef hustles. It annoys me that these whores are even known for more than just appearing in Playboy one issue. It is a fake love affair where he gets bitches are on payroll to pretend prostitute themselves to him to generate buzz , and if this lie was real, Hef and these bitches would be in fuckin’ jail.

It is fantasy designed to sell the Playboy brand. That’s why 3 girls agree to live together and pretend to date the same 80 year old, thinking it will advance their career while the pay is better than working the diner back home, and when they are built up, Hef replaces them for fresh pussy he wants to make money off of, while giving them all spinoff careers that he makes money off of, keeping the wheels on the machine in motion.

Either way, Kendra is pregnant, her fake tits are fatter than they once were, her fear of being able to breast feed a baby without poisoning it probably haven’t set in yet, and her fake friends threw her a fake babyshower, I am sure all paid for by Playboy….

Read some serious bullshit about the event like it’s actual fucking news, when really it is just some glorified press release for Playboy….

September 9th, 2009. Former Girls Next Door star Bridget Marquart throws a “surprise” baby shower for Kendra Wilkinson at Hugh Hefner’s personal assistant, Mary O’Connorís house. Earlier in the day Playboy Playmates and Hefner’s current girlfriends, Kristina Shannon, Karissa Shannon, and Crystal Harris were seen picking up balloons and gifts for the party in a chauffer driven limo.

Prior to the party former Girl Next Door star, Holly Madison, was seen taking out the trash, eating a pickle, and receiving pizza delivery for the party, “I got kicked out of the mansion, so I had to get a second job delivering pizza”she joked with a photographer. Numerous other women attended the party including Kendraís mother Patti and her Grandmother.

Making a fashionably late entrance, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner arrived at the party in his chauffer driven limo with the vanity plate “1 HEF.” Hefner gathered his three girlfriends and left teh party after staying a little more than 30 minutes. Insiders reported that an altercation between Hefner’s new girlfriends and other women at the party had occurred.

What baby shower would not be complete without a homosexual male dressed in a baby outfit. A man identified as Jonny Makeup arrived to the party dressed in a baby costume telling the photographers, “Kendra is going to change her first diaper”.

Partygoers dined on delivered Pizza Hut brand Pizza, Carmela Louise Catering, and Sunday Scoops Ice Cream compliments of Dandy Donís Homemade Ice Cream. Kendra and Bridget Marquart, both dressed in baby blue, gave each other a hug goodbye as they walked to their cars at the partys conclusion. Holly Madison and Jonny Makeup made an encore exit when Holly picked up Jonny and they both fell to the ground crashing into a row of trash bins. Right before Kandra departed she stood next to her car and started posing with a large mason jar filled with pickles.

The entire event was filmed by a Playboy camera crew.

Posin’ with pickles, fags dressed in diapers, and …The entire event was filmed by a Playboy camera crew. Fuck yourself Kendra, I hope you have a still birth….cuz no baby deserves a whore of a mother and it’s too late for abortions or miscarriages…..

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

2009

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Voicemail Hacked a Year After the Fact of the Day

2 Comments »

There was a time when I first started this site and thought it’d be fun to fuck with celebrities all the way from Canada without leaving the comfort of my disgusting smelling home that is hardly a home and more of a fuckin’ dump that homeless people wouldn’t sleep in. It was a time when they weren’t openly using the computer or really responsive to people they didn’t know, unlike today thanks to twitter and facebook….

I got bored and lazy. I loved stunts but I stopped trying to find celebrity emails and phone numbers to prank them cuz even when I did make progress I never got a big hit from it cuz no one really cared or believed me when I got through to a motherfucker. So it proved to be a waste of fucking time, like everything else I do, only it required more effort than everything else I do.

But some motherfucker didn’t…he went to the trouble of finding an old released screenshot of Lohan’s personal information, and hacked into her fuckin’ voicemail, her password was 1-2-3-4. He recorded the shit and put it on the internet and now I’m posting it here, because part of me respects his effort, the other part of me doesn’t care, but maybe you do….

Really, all this is going to do is make Lohan change her number, breaking our only link, breaking up our one-sided relationship, but it’s still a pretty big story, so I gotta post it….

The Crazy Motherfucker Who Broke This Story is AnimalNewYork – See what he’s saying about it
GO

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Voicemail