I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

25

Aug

Lady Gaga Tryin’ to Be Dramatic of the Day

Lady Gaga’s life is like a far too long, played out high school play that was writen by the girl no one talked to who had a thing for old movies. The quality of her acting is fucking garbage and the storyline is weak…..

Her facial expressions and dramatic performance is like the time my highschool friend turned drag queen thought he got his period after convincing us he was pregnant for 3 months, something we all knew was impossible but didn’t want to upset him about and instead went along with it, cuz he was a little unstable. Only she looks more like a dude/ Marilyn Manson with that nose and weak chin than he did….

I hate her. She is annoying and I don’t know what this glamour hollywood from the ’50s bullshit is, but it’s fuckin’ nauseating…she’s not Marilyn Monroe being carted off to prison for having mob ties, or fuckin’ Audrey Hepburn coming out of a fucking abortion clinic with a man she’s having extra marital affairs with, she’s a tacky piece of garbage who doesn’t deserve the attention she’s getting….but what do I know….

Posted in:Glamor|Lady Gaga

2009

25

Aug

Doutzen Kroes in St Barth doing a Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

Here Doutzen Kroes, a model you all know from Victoria’s Secret, because they’ve given her a set of wings and made her an official angel or whatever the fuck it is that they do for their top performers who sign their fuckin life’s away to the company, never being able to escape the numerous in store appearances or perfume launch parties, unless the “Gods” at the head office find out you have a penis like they did with Gisele that fateful day they walked in on her taping her dick back into her ass for a panty shoot because they didn’t want people knowing they accidentally robbed a Brazilian tranny prostitute from her small town in Brazil, it’s bad for the Christian fundamentalists who buy their bras…and she’s flashing her skin colored bra, a bra color that always reminds me of my grandmother.

Posted in:Bra|Doutzen Kroes|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret

2009

25

Aug

Abbey Kershaw or Behati Prinsloo in St Barth doing a VIctoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

One photographer said these were pictures of Behati Prinsloo and another one said they were of Abbey Kershaw. I have no idea who either of those bitches are so I can’t clear up the fucking confustion but I guess they have something to do with Victoria’s Secret…since they are at a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. Last time I checked Victoria’s Secret was a lingerie company…with a catalog that you all used to jerk off to of girls in lingerie and based on these pictures this bitch or these bitches look a hell of lot too clothed for my liking….but you’ll probably like it even though it reminds you of something a girl’s never done for you….(take her top off)…loser.

Posted in:Abbey Kershaw|Behati Prinsloo|Bra|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret

2009

25

Aug

The Lighting Girl on the Victoria’s Secret Shoot of the Day

I am in love with the lighting girl cuz she is pretty much a nobody who is probably not getting paid much and is just happy to be in a photographer’s assistant job that flew her to fuckin’ St Barth for a week where she is forced to be around models who get all kinds of attention all day and who everyone are constantly praising meaning she feels a little insecure, maybe even like a benchwarmer or riding in the back fuckin’ seat, pretty much taking away from the amazing opportunity she has and turning her into a typical catty girl with something to prove on the attack, making her nice and fuckin’ easy cuz dick is the short term remedy to feeling shitty about yourself when you’re a girl…even though her ass looks all right to me…

Posted in:Lighting Girl|Victoria's Secret

2009

25

Aug

Cop Assualts his Twin Brother’s Girlfriend of the Day

I love this story of a twin brother doin’ the old “switcharoo” with his brother’s girlfriend, pretty much a reason why we’ve all wanted to be twins at least once in our lives, that and the fact that being a twin allows you to fuck yourself and not be considered gay, but masturbation but that’s a whole other perk I don’t really feel like getting into and will just save for the Good Charlotte sisters to tell you about in their memoirs….or for the other twin in this story to tell you all about because he’s got a cowboy tattooed on his ass making he question why he had a girlfriend in the first place….

I love that this girl is complaining about the whole thing like the second she found out the guy she was seeing had a twin she didn’t want to get gangbanged by both of them at the same time, you know always wondering if they really are exactly the same, I know if I was dating twins, that’d be my biggest concern, hell, if I was dating someone with a sister that’d be my biggest concern, hell, if I was dating someone with female friends or teenage stepdaughters or even a decent looking grandmother that’d be my biggest concern.

We all know she seduced this cop into fucking her and now she feels guilty about the whole thing and doesn’t want the other brother to dump her since this one wasn’t as good as him and so she cried rape and I am just as fuckin’ confused as you are in trying to decipher what I was trying to say in the last run-on sentence in this post..

Posted in:Cop|Rape|Twin Brother

2009

25

Aug

Annalynne McCord’s Sister Gets Followed by the Paparazzi of the Day

I am the kind of guy who is fucking shocked that Annalynne McCord gets followed by the paparazzi as much as she does considering she is barely famous, as being on one show accidentally doesn’t constitute fame where I am from and I am hoping she’s a one trick pony and that when the show disappears she does, but then I hit up the paparazzi site and see that the motherfuckers are following her fucking sister around for being her fuckin’ sister and I don’t know what what’s more depressing being related to Annalynne McCord or being famous for being related to Annalynne McCord. All this to say there’s something seriously wrong with fame in Hollywood. Here are her legs.

If you’re wondering who she is calling, the answer is everyone she knows, because this cunt is so excited that people finally care about her since she feels like she’s always been the hotter sister and deserves some Annalynne attention, and because they are from the same cunt family and they were obviously given too much positive reinforcement and don’t realize they fucking suck and all this attention just makes proves their already established theory that they are the greatest family in the history of fucking families. Pretty fucking annoying…

Posted in:Angel McCord|Legs

2009

25

Aug

Some Kathy Lee Gifford Tit in a Dress for Old Times of the Day

Before Kathy Lee Gifford was a botox, jacked up face dinosaur, she used to be on morning television in an era when internet porn wasn’t accessible and I only had one channel, pretty much making her my little whore on at least one occassion when I happened to be awake at 9 am. There was just something about her fat tits, the idea of her red pubic hair and her annoying uptight attitude that I liked. I think it had to do with knowing I was far too dirty a motherfucker for her to even throw a dollar at without using hand sanitizer in a time before hand sanitizer existed and I am sure I am not the only one who jerked off to her back when she was on Regis with Kelly, otherwise they woulda never kept her on the show….I’m talking to you Regis…You little pig….

Here are her tits and botox face for old times…….

Here’s Kathy Lee Seducing me in a white dress with Shania Twain….

Here’s Kathy Lee Seducing me in a Pant Suit with Bernadette Peters….

Posted in:Kathy Lee Gifford|Tits

2009

25

Aug

Carmen Electra is Fat in Her Bikini of the Day

I think it’s time for Carmen Electra to throw that stipperobics DVD she hosted back in and start practicing what she learned cuz she’s lookin’ fat. Maybe she’s getting ready for a role as a fat chick, but I don’t think Carmen Electra ever got work for any reason other than her hot body….

I guess it is normal that with age comes sagging and weight gain and as much as I liked Carmen Electra and her fake tits, that Iam sure she’s glad she has now that her body has started to turn thick and rectangular, and they keep things a little top heavy and curvy like some kind of optical illusion, like most post-menopausal women and that I am sure she was glad she had when she was younger because they are a hug part of her fucking career, but that I am not glad she has because I hate fake tits, not that my opinion really matters to this whore, so I don’t know why I’m bothering writing it out, I should just say appreciate this bitch while you can, because like a roller coaster ride, the fun always comes to an end and I have a feeling these pics are the last fuckin’ stretch and I’m just amazed that with a body like this, she hasn’t had a few kids fuck her shit up, instead she only has her and her laziness to blame….

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Fat

2009

25

Aug

Mena Suvari and her Forehead in a Bikini of the Day

The fascinating thing about Mena Suvari is that she must be 40 years old by now, but she’s still got the upper body of a 12 year old and the ass of a stallion…wait…that sounded kinda gay…what I was trying to say is that her ass is all firm and round and amazing like it was when she hit puberty….and it is weird because when she was in the America Pie movies and she was put up against Tara Reid and Shannon Elizabeth I barely notcied her and the only reason I did was because of the way her alien-lookin’ forehead reflected the light blinded me and reminded me of a night a fell asleep on the train tracks and was rudely awaken by some cop shining his flashlight in my fucking face, before he beat the fuck out of me, but look at her now….

Posted in:Bikini|Mena Suvari

2009

25

Aug

Vote for Kayden Kross of the Day

I hate Spike, but I love Kayden Kross, so before I get started I want everyone to know I am doing this for her and not for them.

She hit me up saying she entered some contest with Spike asking me to vote for her and as I looked around at the other girls and thought it was a fucking crime that she wasn’t winning, because based on her look, her pics and her video she’s got it going on and the other girls are ghetto, cheesy trash they found at the Ed Hardy discount bin.

I realized that it had something to do with Spike being a piece of fucking shit since along with robbing Kayden of the lead she deserves, also refuse to work with me, but that doesn’t right this wrong, so I am turning to you motherfuckers to vote for her, because she deserves it and Spike are assholes, but more importantly, because she will marry me as a publicity stunt if she does win and I’ll live-feed that circus act for you.

I know you didn’t pull thru the last contest she was in, so let’s not fuck me over again….


Vote For Kayden – Give Her a 10
GO

Posted in:Contest|Kayden Kross|Spike TV