Last night during a sexual fantasy I was having in my sleep I had a vision of Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan having sex. I figure it could have been the wet spot on my mattress from my dog pissing in the bed that triggered it, or the fact that I saw Megan Fox at the MTV Awards and figured she needed to wear a vagina as a Swine Flu Mask, and figured why not make it Lohan’s. She’s been out of work and ready to take the fuck over and this kind of union would sell millions in DVDs. So let’s hope Megan Fox embraces that bi-sexuality she claims to have and makes this kind of magic happen.
In the meantime, here she is in some GQ pictures lookin good.
Here she is doing the Angelina Jolie at the MTV Movie Award Bullshit….
You gotta respect these two. They have managed to do what we’ve all thought about and that’s create their own little army of motherfuckers to take on work and provide for the motherfuckin’ family. You know your own little creation that you can exploit the fuck out of and make millions of fucking dollars off of and now they are releasing scandals, affairs and cheating on a the power hungry, controling cunt, who started out as a lesbian before taking on this money making scheme that has worked.
Here is her boxy body in a bikini, something that may not look ideal, but she’s had 8 fucking kids inside her and her lebian haircut is enough to get all the bull dykes excited enough to get a mouthful of her mom pussy because there’s a lot to go the fuck around….
The problem with Plastic Surgery is that it doesn’t age well. It’s like the people who get the shit to try to make themselves look better, get kicked in the fuckin ass a few years down the road, when their faces start contorting in weird ways, forcing them to get more plastic surgery, eventually ending up lookin’ like a blow-up doll you found in the garbage and decided to patch up and bring home with you because your whore wife doesn’t fuck you.
The problem with having a crush on a celebrity in the 90s, is that 15 years down the road when you happen to be lucky enough to finally meet her, you decide to ask her on a date to live out that late Baywatch fantasy, forgetting that in those 15 years, many cock have run through her pink garage door in her red bathing suit, and now she’s a leathery freaky lookin’ piece of shit.
This is some big shot Football Manager I’ve never heard of and the vagina he fucks and who he may possibly be married to in a bikini. His name is Gareth Southgate and I’ve never heard of him because people who kick a ball around like a bunch of pansies who can’t throw punches to get what they fuckin want and it all seems like a serious waste of fucking time, not that I do anything better, but running back and forth seems a lot like a hamster in a fucking wheel…and the only real question I have is why this guy didn’t use his money to bring a nicer lookin’ body to Barbados, leaving this one at home to take care of the kids, where she belongs.
Making fun of Lily Allen’s lifeless tits is getting boring. We all know she was pregnant once, they filled with milk and then the baby was exterminated, whether it was intentional, you know at the abortion clinic or unintentional, you know after a night of hard drinking and cocaine use, leaving her tits unsure of what to do, so they slowly soured and deflated, because they were tricked into thinking they’d be of use, only to have that purpose ripped away from them.
I guess she’s found some other use for them, cuz here she is using them to distract us from her floppy gunt, or whatever the hell is going on where her womb once lived happily before being violated by the vacuum cleaner.
Bow Wow’s new video is some Paris Hilton Sex Tape inspired amateur style video of a stripper in her panties while he sings a song called “I Have a Pole in My Basement”.
I guess that’s his pick-up line at the stripclub when trying to lure the whores back to his place, only unlike real life, he cast a girl to rock his pole, because the truth of his homosexuality will fuck up his flow, you know Gay Gangsters are alright, but not all that marketable.
He is gay right? I am pretty sure I saw him riding on Perez Hilton’s float at the Prop 8 rally and by float I mean pink and fluffy ass diddle Soulja Boy Tell Em.
Susan Boyle is a loser, not that you didn’t already know that, I mean she lived with her mom and never got dick in her life, you know, too scared to leave the fuckin’ nest and live her own fuckin’ life and make something of herself. An emotionally fragile quiet awkward woman you wouldn’t have even noticed on the bus, turned into a phenomenon overnight, for just being on a reality show and being able to sing dated Andrew Lloyd Webber music that only the ederly really appreciate, forcing her to lose to the video of the dance troop you see above, because the people have spoken and reaffirmed that a loser is meant to be a fuckin loser.
You see the biggest mistake was that she took all that attention she was getting, because she never had any attention before, and grew some fucking balls taking her youtube video views and translated that into a celebrity, self-worth and fuckin’ purpose, because losers have a hard time differentiating attention because they’ve never had any.
Anyway, now she’s been admitted to a mental instutition, because that’s just how worked up and convinced she was going to win, not that she was all that stable to begin with.
MTV is a piece of shit company that has polluted the world with shit like The Hills and after watching last night’s bullshit performance it is safe to say that MTV is fucking done like dinner, before my whore wife steals all my food from me.
Every motherfucker involved sucked, from the people who won, to the host and his obvious jokes, and the only thing that was semi-interesting was when Bruno shoved his ass in Eminem’s face after flying in like an angel. Now Bruno/Borat don’t really do “staged” pranks, so it’s safe to assume Eminem had no idea this was going on, but at the same time, it is candy coated MTV trying to keep it real and stay relevant, so I doubt they’d let a prank like this go down without lawyer’s letters and an approval process.
Because no matter how hard they try to stay real, these are the people who created Heidi Montag and I think they all need to fucking die while Eminem needs all the people talking about him as he can get.
I hope one day, solid content will hit Hollywood again, because whatever has been going on the last 10 years has been on a steady decline and sure, it could be me being more bitter and cynical, hating on shit, or maybe, people just keep pulling the same fuckin’ jokes over and over and over again.
Fuck yourself and the fact that you made me post this out of hate giving you the buzz you were lookin for, you manipulative cunts.
So Billy Bob was a lady killer and now his daughter is a baby killer….
Amanda Brumfield, the daughter of musician Billy Bob Thornton, has been charged with child neglect after a one-year-old girl died while in her care. The 29-year-old was babysitting the child in Ocoee, Florida, in October, 2008, when the tragedy happened. Brumfield allegedly waited two and a half hours before calling an ambulance after the baby fell and hit her head. The child suffered a fractured skull and died. Brumfield who is reportedly estranged from her famous father, was being held in police custody.
Time to start scoping out those inmate penpal sites, cuz when this bitch gets out, she’ll be a keeper, you know since she stands to inherit Billy Bob money and will be all broken down emotionally from carrying the guilt of baby killing around, that you’ll pretty much be able to take advantage of her.
I guess this is just another example of daddy issues, you know having a dad who neglects you your entire life because he doesn’t even remember fucking your groupie mother, so you try to get attention killin’ babies.
Such a typical story, only usually it involves pornstars and strippers and prositutes, so I guess this Amanda bitch is just keepin’ things cutting edge.
I am drunk and hungover at the same time. I am pretty sure it will all end eventually. I don’t get why I can’t get more follower on twitter. I fucking kill that shit like it is my liver, or like how Heidi Montag’s family should kill her, or how I kill every girl’s libido, sometimes even killing their heterosexuality, you know straight up lesbian maker right here, cuz after you fuck me, you can’t look at another man again. Truth.
Her Name is Carina and She’s Hosing Down Her Huge Boobs in the Shower GO
BONUS:
Some Indy Rocker Dude Gave me Free Food the Other Day. I Told Him I’d Promote his Indy Music Video for Being So Nice. He Probably Mistook Me for a Homeless Dude who was Talking Craziness. He wasn’t too far from the truth, except I’m a Crazy Homeless Dude with a Crazy Website.
It is a Good Song and I Think He Needs To Get Signed in the USA.
One Last Try TO Get a New Porn Wife – VOTE FOR KAYDEN KROSS
