If you’re wondering how Holly Madison keeps her whore body in shape, it’s not from being kicked off Dancing with the Stars, it’s not from doing the coke diet, it’s not from having an eating disorder whether starving herself, or puking all over herself, it’s not from fucking and fucking and fucking until her vagina stops working, it’s from good old fashioned, wholesome fake workouts where she pretends to be actually breakin’a sweat, when really it’s just a photo op for some company in desperate need of promotion.
Shauna Sand has the ability to going out for ice cream with her kids look as classy as the bitch I saw throwing up on herself after sucking dick in the bathroom of a dive bar I was at last week. The funny thing is that strippers don’t even dress like this when they leave the stripclub after their shift, not even the streetwhores I met at a bar they go into warm-up at, I’m talking herpe faced, drug addicted, pieces of garbage whores who know their only worth is in their dirty used up cunts, dress like this when they aren’t out trying to get paid. I don’t really understand it, I don’t really like it, but I guess it’s better than all the boring mothers I see walking their kids to school in mom clothes, because the only thing hot about that is knowing they let guys cum inside their fat asses, and that’s not even that hot.
Either way, check out these tits, you can have a pair too, all you need is 5000 dollars.
I guess Allure realizes that in these times of economic crisis, where the world is turning to the internet, unfortunately, not turning to this website, and all print magazines are slowly going broke, and dying off, like some kind of magazine holocaust, that the final stage in survival is to take that tried, tested and true formula of survival and that’s getting girls willing to get naked, naked and posting their pictures in a classy enough way, that isn’t too offensive, that doesn’t show nipple or pussy lip, or anus, or insertion, because they don’t want to piss off the few advertisers they have left, because sex sells, unless it is sex with me.
They managed to get Eliza Dushku, a girl I wanted to fuck when she was in all those teen movies and my new found love, the Cumdog Millionaire who is from some cooking show I have never seen, named Padma, these are the pictures.
I pretend to be in love with Ryan Seacrest on Twitter. I know you hate hearing about Twitter, well stop reading this fucking post then, because it’s really the only interaction I have with a motherfucker, other than when I jerk off to him on American Idol, or when listening to his radio show while sitting in traffic on the way to the fucking office, or some shit.
He wrote that he had a last minute two day trip in Paris, and I guess this unkown vagina is the reason why. Sure, I always thought Seacrest was gay and his whole “Seacrest Out” shit was his way of prepping to come out, like everytime he said it, the words “of the closet” were struggling to come out, but his professionalism just got the best of him.
Anyway, I profess my love to him, he never answers, it’s been ongoing, to the point where his producers and I are slowly building up a relationship and yesterday’s message to him was some of my best work in 130 characters or less.
do you love me too? Say yes.Knife is to wrist.Ready to end it all.Seek your approval.1st Twitter suicide.Some paula fan shit
He never answered. Cocksucker.
Either way, here he is with his emergency Paris meeting…who is probably his hairstylist, or best friend he talks about boys with, however, there is a chance he’s fucking her.
I posted these pictures of the devil shamelessly promoting her new shitty songs by getting her fake boyfriend to pretend to videotape her, while she mouthed the words to her song and asked people to go out and download it on itunes. If you were one of the people who listened, I hope you fucking die, because buying shit she’s peddling like the desperate out of work alcoholic kid’s birthday clown I saw on the street corner handing out free baloon animals to little kids, hoping to get a gig at a birthday party like the good old days, before he sold his soul to the fuckin bottle, and all motherfucker got was arrested for being a pervert who got too close to fuckin’ kids, like he deserved.
That said, give Heidi Montag what she deserves…failure.
I just saw this video today, apparently it’s been doing the rounds. It’s about some costume store owner who is getting charged for cyberstalker, whatever teh fuck that is and bitch is rockin’ some fuckin’ crazy costumes and putting up an amazing show for the news reporter. I think it keeps shit in the Easter Spirit. It’s a week old, but it’s amazing.
Here’s a video of some really disgusting big of a woman talking about how she’s a freak with her daughter. She’s going on about how she wants to fuck 7 dudes at the same time and tries to get her daughter to figure out where the 7 dick would go. The daughter’s not as experimental as her mom, because she can only think of hands, ass, pussy, mouth and doesn’t realize her big ol’ mom can double vaginal/anal and that’s fucking gross.
Hearing her talk about how much she likes getting fucked up the ass, throws me the fuck off, I don’t really get why this is going down, but call me old fashioned, but this makes me sick to my fucking stomach and I’m pretty open minded, but I guess the disgusting factor’s gotta do with the way this bitch looks, give me a hot mom and daughter talking about tasting their own pussies and I’m gonna jerk the fuck off, throw this shit at me and I got no choice but to run the fuck away, but before I do, I gotta share it with you.
Another drug addicted retired/weathered pornstar dies in her mobile home….
SANTA CLARITA, Calif. Marilyn Chambers, star of such golden age classics as Behind the Green Door and Insatiable, was found dead Sunday in the mobile home where she had been living for the past several months. She was 57. Chambers was found by her daughter, McKenna. No cause of death is yet known, and an autopsy will be performed. ?
I am not going to lie, I had no idea who Marilyn Chambers was earlier today. But after lookin her up, the real surprise is that she didn’t die sooner than this, you know 70s pornstars who hung with John Holmes were all drug addicted HIV positive runaways.
Here are some quick facts on her:
One of her claim to fame was that she was one of the few actresses that could fully deepthroat John Holmes’ penis.
She was one of the first female stars to shave her bush.
She was noted for her enthusiastic performances of deep throat, anal, lesbian, interracial, extreme bukkake, and double or triple penetration scenes.
She was also the Ivory Snow model before Ivory Snow found out she did some legendary porn called Behind the Green Door that I’ve never seen.
She was also a Disco recording artist like she was in Boogie Nights…and here’s her song Benihana that I’d like to dedicate to Steve Aoki and suggest he Remix since his dad was Benihana.
RIP Motherfucker….you had a good run….you made many men cum…and now you will make many guys who get off to dead chicks cum…your legacy lives on….
BONUS – You can download Behind the Green Door if you Follow This Link – But Be Warned – The Links May Be Dead – I Didn’t Test Them Out…. GO
This guy is probably one of you. Happy Easter. Welcome back Jesus, that’s me talking to myself because I was fucking sick all weekend, in bed, dying and hating my life. Unlike this guy who’s got it goin’ on. All the single ladies, find him and hit him up, I think he’s a fuckin’ catch.
I am sick as fuck. I am a week into this shit and there is no end in sight. The girl at the dog park I went to, hoping to get some single, lonely, 30 something with a big dog to replace the need to have a man in her life, unfortunately, the closest I got was some bull dyke with a pit bull who called me a pussy for having a gay dog. I need a nap. Here are my links, fuckers.
If You’re Gonna Waste The Weekend, You May As Well Do It Right With Some Hot Half Naked Girls GO
Stevie Nicks is Crushing Lindsay Lohan’s Dreams GO
Hot Iron + Choco Bunny = Happy Easter, Mother Fuckers GO
