I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

10

Apr

Some McCord Sister in a See Through Dress of the Day

Annalynne McCord’s got a couple latch ons and they are her sisters. I guess she got the gig on 90210 and everyone in the family celebrated because it meant riding her new found fame and success as hard as they all can to get into parties and clubs and feel like they are famous too, while doing it in a shitty see through dress.

I don’t know her name, but it doesn’t really matter, I already hate her and hope the end is near for all those motherfuckers and I don’t mean death, I just mean that they get sent back to the suburb they came from, not that we should even care that much, I am just feeling sensitive.

Posted in:Dress|McCord|See Through|Sister

2009

10

Apr

Heidi Montag Plays it Up For the Paparazzi of the Day

This souless cunt was out self-promoting and the paparazzi fed into her shit by taking pictures. She pulled up in a luxury car and danced around lip syncing her bullshit song while Spencer Pratt videotaped it, trying to promote her shit and get some buzz, despite it being kitchen fucking garbage, like her boobjob.

The lies are starting to get to me, I mean all I can think about is hate fucking her until she stops resisting under me. Maybe that sounds violent, but not as violent as how she rapes me everyfucking day with her bullshit.

There’s gotta be a video about this somewhere, google it.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Shameless|Slut

2009

10

Apr

Mischa Barton Ignores Me of the Day

Mischa Barton was in Montreal. I went on a hunt for her because she wouldn’t answer my twitters and no one I knew could help me get in touch with her, so this is my post to say she’s a fucking cunt, she thinks she’s better than me because she was on some TV show, she was in some movies, she has a lot of money and guys want to fuck her sloppy asshole, giving her this ego, well we could have had something real special but she just threw it all away. Bitch.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Useless

2009

10

Apr

Miranda Kerr in Some Lingerie of the Day

Miranda Kerr is in her lingerie for some ad because she’s a bikini model. I am not in lingerie for some ad because I am not a bikini/lingerie model, I just wear the shit because it makes me feel pretty. Fuck you.

Posted in:Lingerie|Miranda Kerr

2009

10

Apr

Katy Perry and the Full Lips She Always Wanted of the Day

Here is Katy Perry playing up the lesbian shit with a lip purse that she’s holding where her vagina would be, if her pussy lips weren’t thin like the lips on her face, she just doesn’t realize if she’s trying to be funny she should rotate that shit 90 degrees. See that’s me being a mathmetician. I am dyin. I have a hangover and I can’t figure out anything funny to say about this pig and her pussy purse, but I’ll put the pictures up anyway.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Lips|Vagina

2009

10

Apr

Mike Tyson Hating on Don King of the Day

I like everything that comes out of Mike Tyson’s mouth. I’ve watched his documentary, I’ve watched some HBO bullshit about him. I’ve heard that cunt Robin Givens trying to bring him the fuck down, pretending he is a woman beater, or that girl he raped who got him arrested, instead of just embracing it for bragging rights that Tyson cock was violently being jabbed and upper-cutted into her, like any normal groupie would.

Either way, he’s talking about beating up Don King, because out of all the people out there, Don King and his greasy hands are who really fucked him up the most….

Posted in:AMazing|Mike Tyson

2009

10

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Calls For My Help of the Day

Rumor is that Lindsay and Samantha broke up. Lindsay seems to be taking these times of trouble pretty well, you know since she hasn’t killed herself. That’s always a good sign and Samantha has been off hanging with the Good Charlotte sisters because they make anyone feel better about themselves. Whenever I feel bad, I just google image search their suburban tattoos and it usually helps me pull the knife away from my wrist.

But that’s not the point, the point is the paparazzi are on Lohan’s dick, because she’s a superstar, and they want exclusives, and as she asks them to get off her property, she calls my name, in some kind of desperation. “jesus”….the words just roll off her tongue in some kind of beautiful angelic tone, like the sky has opened up and I have become the chosen one, and by beautiful angelic tone, I mean throaty and tobacco damaged…

When was the last time Lohan said your name in a paparazzi video, I’m thinking never. So don’t be jealous.

Sure Lohan has no idea I exist, but what’s that got to do with anything. Subconscious man…it’s some deeper shit than you’ll ever understand.

Fine she wasn’t saying my fucking name, she was using Jesus, our lord a savior’s name, you know the motherfucker who died for your sins and had a whore mother who lied to her husband about cheating on him, claiming this whole divine conception, or whatever other bullshit she spewed to save her marriage, and that’s okay, it’s Easter, she’s been all jewed out all these months, it’s time to remind her about her Christian roots.

But you gotta admit, if she did say my name in a paparazzi video, it’d be pretty cool.

Posted in:Jesus|Lindsay Lohan

2009

10

Apr

Easter Insanity of the Day

I couldn’t start today off without something holy to me and that was a rub and tug massage. I got it with my birthday money from some hot young Asian who jerks off dick better than I can or really better than anyone I’ve ever met can, maybe because in the 19 years of her life, she’s been bred to be this master of the dick, you know trained by generations of family secret moves, you know starting off on a banana at the age of 5, when her mother and grandmother who own the place felt she was ready to take it on.

I figure that religion is a whole lot of horseshit and this video of some crazy Catholic image, like people getting crucified to let Jesus know they care, that he is their savior, that he died for their sins. Sure, my name is Jesus, but that doesn’t mean I’m into this shit, give me some cocktails and some tail that does cock and I’ll get down and prey, if by prey she means cum all over her little asian ass for an extra 5 dollars. Word.

Posted in:Easter|Insanity

2009

10

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I am drunk and my stripper hates me – but at least I have these links…..her ass is insane in the event you were wondering….It is easter – thanks Jesus for dying and coming back to life. I need the 4 day weekend. Here are my links….

Lindsay Lohan’s Hottest Pics EVER
GO

Show Your Ex Girlfriend who the REAL Sluts Are
GO

When Assley Left Pete: A Story of Probably Divorce
GO

The Beatles vs LCD Soundsystem vs The Kinks
GO

This Guy is Serious About Attracting Women. Serious.
GO

Adriana Lima Has Tits All The Sudden
GO

Little Girl is Afraid to Poop
GO

Sure, You Knew Jesus Could Save, But Did You Know Mother Fucker Could RAP?!?!
GO

Hello Brooke Skye
GO

4 Things That Happen During Every Spring Break
GO

Hardcore Jewish Chicks 2009
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Blowhan Brought the Ginge Back, The Drapes and Carpet Match Again!
GO

Celine Dion May Be a Granny, But I Would Still Fuck Her
GO

Kirsten Dunst is See Through
GO

Mischa Barton Gets Naked for British Cosmopolitan
GO

Pink is Also See Through
GO

I Love You Halle Berry
GO

Nicole Richie is Lookin Good
GO

It’s Telling Me Something….
GO

Kelly is Oh So Curvey
GO

Julia’s Got Some Big Ol’ Tits
GO

Blonde Masterbates With Her Friend in the Shower
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Babe Peels a Banana With Her Feet
GO

Kylie Reese Will Make You Melt
GO

Britney Spears Says Don’t Smoke Weed Mother Fuckers!
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio is Lovely
GO

Kate Moss Titty Action
GO

Amateur Heaven
GO

Christina Ricci is Dating a Giant For Fuck Sakes
GO

Malta Pandeva: Maxim Magazine Bulgaria, April 2009
GO

A Pretty Awesome Pin Up Collection
GO

Those Assholes At Chia Pet Really Went Too Far
GO

Close Range is the Hottest New Video Game Around
GO

She’s Fucking a Cactus!
GO

Luba is Heaven on Earth
GO

Jesse Jane Clement Will Bring the Boner Offering
GO

Man This Bristol Palin/Levia the Red Neck Thing Just Won’t Get Out of the News
GO

Give Me Leonard Cohen Afterworld
GO

Dirty Cop Blames Oral Sex For Dirty Test Results…
GO

Belladonna Taking a Pee With Her Bush….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

09

Apr

Russell Brand’s Two Groupies Sneakin’ Out of His House Weirdness of the Day

Russell Brand is milking this fame shit by always rockin’ out with random groupies. These two girls I guess he was fucking in tandem, because that’s the power fame gives you, ran outside hiding under black robes to get something out of their car, because I am sure Brand has had his way with them from all fuckin’ angles.

I don’t have anything to really say about this, because who really cares. Girls are whores. Girls like famous dudes and why wouldn’t they. He’s got money, he’s not lookin’ for a wife, but they probably like giving him everything he wants in hopes that one day he’ll choose them and let them into his little world.

Who cares. Seriously. Why did I bother downloading these fucking pictures. Cropping them. Uploading them. When there’s nothing hot about them except whatever my imagination had lined up for them, but even that’s hard to pull off because all I see are their thick ankles, like we’re in some muslim country reporting the news in blackface….you like how I just tied that into an earlier post. Admit it was clever.

Posted in:Groupies|Russell Brand