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Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day

Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day

Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day

Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day

RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day

2009

Apr

Christian Slater’s Ex- Rockin’ Out on the Beach of the Day

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Her name is Tamara Mellon and I was going to rip into her for being a fame fuckin’ whore who recently got dumped by Christian Slater and is now using his handout to go on vacation and clear her groupie whore mind, but I accidentally googled her and found out that she’s ridiculously successful. She was an editor a Vogue, started a shoe company called Jimmy Choo and if I know what that shit is, it means it’s big. Celebs love the shit, money grubbin’ wallet fuckers love the shit, rich kids on coke love the shit, Jimmy Choo is huge.

So I guess it is possible, women can make it in the world, I’m sure there’s more to this story, I mean she must have fucked someone, somewhere along the line, I mean I know I wouldn’t turn down her 40 year old ass if it came knockin’ at my door for a small investment, unfortunately all I can afford is a jar of Sea Shells my wife brought back from her Florida retreat 2 years ago, I mean that and the magical fingers, if you have the ability to ignore smells and permantent lesions and stains. Oh baby, am I turning you on yet???

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Christian Slater|Ex

2009

Apr

Jordan Bratman’s Pussy Buys Lingerie of the Day

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I did a post on panty shopping yesterday. How many times can a man admit his weakness or fetish or whatever the fuck you want to call getting off to watching girls I don’t know buy underwear. You’d think Aguilera would have a sponsorship set up, maybe free underwear shipped to her monthly, because got knows she goes through them like toilet paper, that drippy bitch. I guess she’s out trying to be sexy, you know to turn on her man, since she’s got all fat from the last pregancy and feels like shit about herself, smoke and mirrors and lingerie may do the fuckin’ trick. I guess she doesn’t realize that before her, dude was locked in his basement watching porn and fucking household objects before becoming rich, you know, cuz if she did, she probably wouldn’t have married him.

Here’s a video of her shopping on Melrose….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Lingerie

2009

Apr

Short and Thick Pussy Feeling Herself Up of the Day

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When I look at Hayden Panettiere, I just can’t help but imagine how strong her vagina is. Like can it carry bricks and help build a village for a small African tribe, or is all her muscle in her shoulder. Would fucking her result in getting your dick ripped the fuck off and used as a tampon, or would it be a magical experience you’d expect from getting with a dirty little elf. Would cumming on her chest be one of those things that emotionally scars you, you know leading to dreams of sex with 12 year old boys, because you can’t figure out if it was Hayden, or her boyish attributes that finished you off…..

Either way, here she is feeling herself up, because I guess guys know better than to get too close to her, because either way, she’s just a little too tough, like leather.

Posted in:Feel Up|Hayden Panettiere|Up-shirt

2009

Apr

Russell Brand in a See Through Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

I always write about girls in see through tops, I figure why not switch it up a bit, you know and show off Russell Brand wearing whatever the fuck he’s wearing, but definitely shouldn’t be wearing, but assume it’s part of his long hair, sexually ambiguous, wordy bullshit comedy act that is kind of irritating as shit, and kind of funmy at the same time, because this skinny motherfucker could double as a woman if you got him in the right position and I know you like that. Gaylord.

Posted in:Russell Brand|See Through|Shirt

2009

Apr

Some Dirty Tits and Pussy Out in Public of the Day

1 Comment »

Shauna Sand is a product of her plastic surgeon’s April Fools joke. You know, he got a little carried away, she was forced to live with it for the rest of her life, at least she’s gone along with it, you know getting a fake tan, fake hair, playing the part of a beat up stripper on a slow night, when she probably would be better off moving to an arab country and covering the fuck up.

Here are her disgusting tits, pornstars who read this (who am I kidding, pornstars can’t read), this is what you have to look forward to….

Posted in:Pussy|Shauna Sand|Tits

2009

Apr

Brian Austin Green’s Hot Cunt Holdin Her Shirt Closed of the Day

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Here’s Megan Fox trying to hold her tits in her shirt because she doesn’t want all you perverts who have been waiting to see that shit for the last 2 years she’s been around, to see it and realize that she’s got no nipples, or that one is totally uneven from the other, or that she’s all nipple, or that she is actually a man, or god fuckin’ knows what, but there’s not way there’s nothing seriously wrong with this girl. Everyone balances out, if you’re ugly or fat, you’re usually sweet or funny, and at least one thing on your is attractive, you know like your eyes, or maybe you have a tight pussy or something, but when you’re superficially pretty fuckin’ perfect lookin in clothes, you know that the second the clothes come off, there’s a pussy lip the size of a fuckin grocery bag, before they made you buy reusable bullshit to save the fuckin’ world, and that’s why she’s still with Brian Austin Texas, because motherfucker’s learned to accept the male genitilia in her asshole, or whatever her fuckin’ mutation I know she has is.

Here’s a video of her taking the paparazzi home with her….

Posted in:Brian Austin Green|Hot|Megan Fox|Slut|Tits

2009

Apr

My Internet Girlfriend Showing Off her Tits to An Event She Didn’t Invite Me To of the Day

4 Comments »

I have an internet relationship with Lydia Hearst, at least I like to think it’s actually Lydia Hearst, because it validates that what I do is actually read, while Twitter reminds me everyday that no one gives a fuck about what I do or have to say, so I go off on long conversations about life, the weather, my relationship with my wife, how I got drunk and slapped a girl I don’t knows ass or paid that bum 2 dollars to flash me his dick, and she always comes through with a little LOL, or response that makes me feel like she cares, and I don’t even mind that it is actually some 45 year old motherfuckin’ weirdo, or 13 year old Indonesian chick who is a fan of Hearst who created a fake profile, and uploaded random Google Images, in a creepy way, is the person I am actually talking to, because that’s how lonely I am.

Here’s Lydia at an event she didn’t invite me to, showing off some tit, but not showing off some tit for me.

Posted in:Internet Girlfriend|Lydia Hearst

2009

Apr

Enrique’s Skinny Ass of the Day

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Here’s everyone’s favorite child sex trade escape artist, turned to sport at 9 instead of being a 65 year old man’s little wives, Anna Kournikova. She’s looking nice and skinny, reminiscent of communist Russia, when she would have to wait in line for a stale loaf of bread designated to feed her family of 6 for 3 weeks, or maybe like some Russian Jews after rockin’ the concentration camp a few months and I like it. It’s that level of starvation that screams desperation, you know like “help me mister, I’m so fuckin’, hungry”, pretty much giving you the okay to fuck her throat, making her gag, but never making her puke since her stomach is empty….not that I have ever made a girl gag, I’m just not built like that, but you get what I am sayin, she’s skinny and I like it. Leave me alone.

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Ass|Skinny

2009

Apr

Boris Becker’s Big Breasted Skinny Assed Fiance of the Day

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Her name is Sharley Kerssenberg and she’s a “model”. I guess by model they mean ex-stripper with the stupid fucking tits, which is more than I’d expect from a pro tennis player, since you know those white shorts make them look like breasts are the last thing on their mind, you know because they are so distracted thinking about the after game shower with their doubles partner. I used to work at a tennis club and people who play tennis piss me off. They treat the migrant work like shit and they can all go fuck themselves. Including Boris Becker, when he’s not too busy trying to overcompensate with tits to prove he’s not into ass fucking men.

Posted in:Boris Becker|Breasts|Sharlely Kerssenberg|Skinny Ass|Slut

2009

Apr

Luke Worrall’s Sea Pig of a Fiance is on the Beach of the Day

5 Comments »

You know Kelly Osbourne’s future husband isn’t straight right? I mean look at the motherfucker, he’s a male model who looks like Sam Ronson and there’s no doubt in my mind he sucks dick, the real deciding factor is how he frolicks with Kelly Osbourne like he actually fucks her, when everyone knows that no one in their right mind would fuck her. Sure, we’d pay 10 dollars entrance fee at the aquarium to see the sea pig in her natural habitat, but we’d never stick our dick in it. Obviously, homie is an opportunist and when you’re Kelly Osbourne, that’s just the nature of all your “boyfriends”, so get used to it and hit the fucking treadmill, or get back on drugs, you’re fucking disgusting.

Posted in:Beach|Kelly Osbourne