I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

26

Mar

Lesbian Boat Ride of the Day

I always thought that when lesbians got together they fucked each other with non-penis shaped objects, like dolphin dildos, you know because they hate cock. I also thought they’d do the scissor pussy rub, eat each other out, maybe talk about bullshit, stage a protest about gay marriage, tie themselves to a tree for the environment, shop for lesbian sandals, maybe hate on men for violating them, or objectifying them by punching their penis pillow, maybe they shave their heads, or grow out their armpit hair, I mean I just don’t fuckin’ know, because I don’t know real life lesbians, the only girl on girl action I’ve experienced has been college girls experimenting for a lot of male attention, so actual lesbians are like mythical creatures to me, but thanks to Rosie, I know that lesbians go on boat rides.

Posted in:Boat|Lesbian

2009

26

Mar

Natalie Portman and her Tight Ass Pants of the Day

I don’t know what’s going on with Natalie Portman’s Jew Ass, but those pants seem tight, but not as tight as the fullback underwear she’s has on underneath, that are squeezing her in ways that make her ass look like some kind of bread product you’d get at the Jewish deli down the street on sale during passover because jews are apparently bread haters and apparently are tight panty wearers, and I am ready to end it all by producing garbage like this, because I don’t know what to say about Natalie Portman, I was never a fan and never understood her appeal, but I do understand why she was the “it” girl for Jewish guys and that is because she doesn’t look like a rat like all the other Jewish girls in their lives….true story…

Posted in:Ass|Natalie Portman|Tights

2009

26

Mar

Some Girl Lets Us Know What Rocket Science is…of the Day

I don’t like Judge Judy because the way she talks annoys me, I didn’t realize she was still on TV and had assumed she just died off in the 90s, but I guess I am wrong.

I do like stupid girls, because they are easier to get naked and sucking on my dick.

I don’t understand how this made its way on TV.

Posted in:Dumb Slut|Rocket Science

2009

26

Mar

Fergie’s Legs Go on a Fitness Hike of the Day

Fergie’s not the rock hard body she used to be. I call this the marriage workout. She can finally kick back and take it easy and tell her husband that she was out exercising, meanwhile she’s just planning on gaining enough weight for her husband to regret ever marrying her.

Maybe this low intensity working out, is because her heart is so wrecked from her meth addiction, but I have a feeling that whole meth addiction was bullshit, because I know meth addicts and the last thing I expect out of them is a successful music career and happy, rich, full life, I just expect the scabs and premature death. Maybe Fergie knew someone who did meth and she smoked a hit once but didn’t inhale, but no meth addicts succeed, no matter how many days they stay up jacked and ready to work….because their idea of work is painting their one room apartment black and similar insanity.

Either way, she doesn’t look hot, but she’s hotter than my wife, so I’ll post it.

Posted in:Fergie|Hike|Legs|Workout

2009

26

Mar

Jennifer Love Hewitt Brings the Positive Moment of the Day

So I am tried of being seen as this negative energy and as I cleanse my life from negative people, I feel I should bring some positive vibes to the site…that said, here’s my positive message inspired by Jennifer Love Hewitt by the pool…

Hey Jennifer love, you don’t look offensively fat, maybe it’s gotta to do with the decency and respect you have shown by covering the fuck up, or maybe it’s because you have taken some time to work on your body to get back on track. Good Job.

I tried. Not very hard, but I tried none the less.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Vacation

2009

26

Mar

Bob Sinclair and His Wife in a Bikini of the Day

There’s some electronic music I like and a lot that I hate. Bob Sinclair is the cheesy dance music I fucking hate. It’s not so much him or the success he’s seen. But more the people he leads.

He is the leader of the Ed Hardy movement and in Montreal at least, the king of the chachi motherfuckers. Whenever his songs about feeling the love, or worlds going on, these lame motherfuckers start screaming and dumping their bottles of vodka on hot stupid girls, who don’t know better, because the media tells them this kind of behavior is ok to imitate, all while rocking 200 dollar T-shirts they buy with their parent’s credit card.

Here’s Bob Sinclair’s wife in a bikini, because I can only assume she’s some Euro trash coke slut he met in Ibiza while she was DJ Whoring her way to the fuckin’ top. Sure he’s got a great lifestyle, partying all night, traveling the world for free, fucking hot partysluts, but that doesn’t mean he’s good or cool according to me and I’m sure that really upsets him…Enjoy.

Posted in:Bikini|Bob Sinclair|wife

2009

26

Mar

Shenae Grimes Brings the Death Wish of the Day

I hate when ugly girls get ahead in life and are wrongfully labeled hot because the media or people who live in small towns filled with fat girls mistake her for being hot just because she isn’t fat. You know who act like they are the fucking ultimate because of receiving too much positive reinforcement throughout their lives. Die. You over-rated Canadian piece of shit.

Posted in:Death Wish|Shenae Grimes

2009

26

Mar

Kim Kardashian and the Photoshop Scandal of the Day


The people at Complex are my fucking family. Sure Marc Ecko doesn’t send me birthday gifts, doesn’t invite me down to play basketball in his office, doesn’t send me his cover girls or clothing models to have sex with, but his staff have always been good to me and even featured me in the magazine and have consistently kept the friendship alive and that means a lot to me.

That said, they fucked up yesterday by posting an unphotoshopped picture of Kim Kardashian, maybe it was a publicity stunt that worked, since shit hit Perez Hilton, Gawker and all these other huge websites, and it even got back to Kim Kardashian who wrote this:

everyone has been putting up these pics from Complex Magazine showing the comparison of the original un-photoshopped photo that mistakenly was put up on complex.com.

Complex later replaced the pic with the photoshopped version, causing all of this drama.

But you know what, who cares! ??

So what: I have a little cellulite. What curvy girl doesn’t!? ??

How many people do you think are photoshopped? It happens all the time!? ?…

I’m proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn’t mean I’m perfect.”

Which is code for “I eat too much” and “I am lazy” but “Black people want to fuck me…”..

Either way, the thing that pisses me off is that 5 months ago, I found some photoshop dude who worked professionally for companies retouching pictures and his work on Kim Kardashian was part of his portfolio, shit took so much hard work that this expert felt it was his priced piece of work and I posted the shit, but no one noticed…

So I figure I’ll throw it out there again, because you can see just how fat this bitch I’ve been calling fat all these years is, and stop defending her, because she may be a cover girl, but she’s contributed nothing of value to society.


SEE MY OLD KIM KARDASHIAN PHOTOSHOP RETOUCHING POST
(cuz I am ahead of the game…and know how to spot a pig when I see one)

SEE KIM KARDASHIAN’S FAKE UNTOUCHED BIKINI PICS (cuz she’s full of shit and real fat)

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Photoshop

2009

26

Mar

Rihanna Shows Off Her New Gun Tattoo of the Day

Rihanna is the kind of girl I would let rape me with her six-shooter, you know shove her hip hop gat, deep inside my asshole and thrust back and forth for a couple of hours or until I start bleeding or my insides start pooring out, before deciding it’s time to play Russian Roulette and motherfucker’s fully loaded. Seriously. I think she’s that amazing and I figure I’m a little bored and have lived long enough, so Rihanna, if you’re out there, let’s take your aggression out on me….

Posted in:Gun|Rihanna|Tattoo

2009

26

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Back for the Day of the Day

I’d like to take a minute to laugh at other people’s misfortune….

her latest movie will not be released to cinemas. Labor Pains will premiere on cable TV in America in July before going straight to DVD in August. In the film, Lohan plays a woman who fakes pregnancy in a bid to keep her job. The actress has completed just one movie since her 2007 flop I Know Who Killed Me, and recently lost out on the lead role in director Tim Burton’s forthcoming remake of Alice In Wonderland.

If you read the synopsis of this movie, you’ll realize why this shit is going straight to DVD, it’s so fucking stupid, I am offended it was made in the first place.

Laughing at Lohan’s misfortunes isn’t like laughing at some retard on life support falling down a flight of stairs, you know, because she’s already won the fucking lottery and has made more money that she ever deserved, and if she’s going broke, good, she deserves it, because she’s a fucking mental case spoiled brat who doesn’t know what she had and the opportunities that were given to her because she’s all self righteous and shit.

The biggest joke is that I hear she’s trying to become a full time model, you know because the work is easy and comes natural, meanwhile she’s 5 foot 2 in heels and looks like a wrecked 40 year old dying of breast cancer.

She’s also trying to partner up with Sean Penn, Seth Rogan and whoever else will listen to her to try to get her career going because the media and obsessed fans have been negative about her and have perpetuated rumors about her and her personal and professional life that made her unhirable.

So I guess when she realizes she’s fucking useless and it’s over, we can all expect a lawyer’s letter, because she’s gonna sue the fuckin’ world for making her famous, then taking it away from her or some shit.

Either way, the whole thing is pretty fucking funny.

Posted in:Death Watch|Lindsay Lohan