I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

13

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Got a Work Out DVD of the Day

I am hoping that this video, despite being direct from the paparazzi, is a fucking joke. You know, like the kind of thing you’d expect to find on Funny or Die or some shit, because in it, Kim Kardashian announces that she’s releasing a work-out DVD. Now, I’ve come to terms with LA being filled with these useless cunts who need to be in the spotlight because they’ve always had everything they’ve ever wanted and the only thing their daddy’s money can’t buy is general acceptance by the public, so they do these sex tapes, they host parties, they go to events and they try to stay relevant, but the idea of Kardashian doing a workout tape is like Jordan promoting breast amputation, Paris Hilton promoting safe sex, Lohan promoting sobriety, or me promoting a self help book. Maybe I’m the only one who isn’t blinded by the glitz and glam and see nothing but a fat pig of a girl, or maybe she’s trying to kill the stigma that she’s a slob of a girl and producing the shit herself. Maybe companies are desperate enough to get any name attached to their shit, but I think it’d be safe to say she’d be better off promoting an all you can eat buffet, you know the pitch could be “Obesity works for me, guys still want my cunt, try the chocolate cake it’s to die for”. I know that working out with her in your living room, is just some twisted shit that would make people like my wife happy, because my wife is fat and would feel better about working on her look with someone who is also fat, like they have some kind of rapport but she’d also be down with the exercises like lifting the chips out of the bag and into your fat whore mouth, or the getting up and walking to the door to pay the pizza delivery guy….if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Work Out DVD

2009

13

Jan

Amy Winehouse Hangs with Tits of the Day

Amy Winehouse is living the fucking life. By the looks of these pictures of her hanging out with some hot chick’s tits, she’s still out in the Caribbean de-toxing after spending the last 2 years being fuckin’ wrecked and partying all the fucking time. It’s the kind of lifestyle I’d want to record a hit album to get, but unfortunately the only thing me and Winehouse have in common is our rotting mouths, poor health and addiction and not her angelic voice.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|Tits

2009

13

Jan

David Walliams and Some Chick Named Lauren Budd in Her Bikini of the Day

This is Lauren Budd. I have no fucking idea who she is, but she’s famous enough to not show up on Google. I am really only posting her pictures because she’s in a bikini and if you’re wondering why the paparazzi are after her, it’s because it’s a slow time of year and they have no choice but to follow one of the guys behind that Little Britain show. I always thought they were gay, because every gay guy I know loves the show, but I guess they are just British, which is really just a code word that means the same thing no matter how many vaginas they get inside, they can’t hide the truth behind their accents…

Posted in:Bikini|Lauren Budd

2009

13

Jan

Angelyne Loses It on the Paparazzi of the Day

I don’t know who this clown of a pornstar who doesn’t do porn is, but she’s supposed to be some fixture in LA who put up billboards of herself for no reason other than to put up billboards of herself. She’s on some crazy homeless person you’d cross the street to avoid kick, but instead of trying to bug you for spare change, she drives around in a Pink Corvette, with a pink dog, and plastic surgery everything. She’s what I’d expect from a homeless person who came into money, like if he won the lottery and shit, you know posting billboards of himeself and taking his street performance of crazy to the next level and here she is throwing her drink at the paparazzi because that’s the kind of shit crazy people do and here are some random pics of her….in all her really weird glory….

Posted in:Angelyne|Assault|Paparazzi

2009

13

Jan

Michelle Rodrigues is Still a Dude of the Day

Here are some pictures of Michelle Rodrigues heading to a medical center, I hear she’s going to get checked for testicular cancer.

Posted in:Masculine|Michelle Rodrigues

2009

13

Jan

Some Drunken Macy Gray Video to Start My Day of the Day

Wow, I haven’t slept in until 3 pm in a long time. I must be depressed. I think it’s gotta do with hating celebrities and the fact that people idolize them. I got to watching some of those gossip shows the other night at a friend’s house and I saw how they hold this useless fucks up in high esteem. They were talking about such menial bullshit that you wouldn’t even want to hear about your best friend if they called you to tell you how their day went, they were commenting on their style, they were talking about some retarded stories that are going on in their celebrity life, and I had to stop and try to figure out if I was one of these people, because I know I don’t give a fuck about celebrities or what they do, I am far more interested in everyday people, naked chicks and silly stunts, so I’m trying to decide what I’ve done with my life while figuring out what I am going to do with it to make up for being a sleazy, mean, disgusting version of Access Hollywood. In my defense, I just make fun of paparazzi pics, and don’t actually know much about these sluts, but figure I am part of the problem with society, so I choose sleep and booze over updates…..

That said here’s a drunken Macy Gray leaving a club, because drunk chicks are awesome, even if they look like dudes.

Posted in:Drunk|Macy Gray

2009

13

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I’ll be the first to admit I was pretty damn lazy today. I mean I only did a handful of played out posts, unlike every other day of my fucking life. The truth is I was gambling. I was out trying to win my retirement, and it didn’t work. It turns out that 10 dollars doesn’t become 1,000,000 dollars as easy as it should, but I met a hot 95 year old killin’ her fortune so that her cocksuckin’ kids don’t get it when she dies. We hit it off, mainly because I liked her full tits, even though they were disgusting, but for some reason she didn’t appreciate me stealing her quarters, cunt. She also kept making me drink Bloody Mary’s, something I never touch, even when hungover, and now I feel like my shit will be red. Good fucking times.

Speaking of good times, here are my links…Here are my links…yes I said that twice, I am drunk.

Ryan Seacrest Got Shut the Fuck Down
GO

Lexie is a Real College Cutie
GO

The Hottest Porn Star Pics From the Awards Show
GO

Joanna Krupa Short Short’s on the Cover of Some Magazine or Another
GO

Lady Gaga Looks Like a Tranny Hooker on the Set of Her New Video
GO

Long Distance Relationship Losers
GO

Meat Heroes
GO

Kate J Says How Do You Do
GO

Steven and Stephen Fist Themselves
GO

Japanese Louis Armstrong
GO

Free Cake is Still Free Cake
GO

More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Richard Simmons Gets His Vagina Size On
GO

I Don’t Know Who Christina Derosa Is, But Here She is Naked on the Set Of Her New Movie
GO

It’s Not a Slip of the Word ‘Cunt, But Beggars Can’t BE Choosy
GO

Tina Fey Looks Pretty Hot at the Golden Globes
GO

Megan Fox Needs to Do Us All a Favor and Take That Dress Off
GO

Drew Barrymore = Golden Globes FAIL
GO

Girls Aloud Get Their Gallery On
GO

Raven Riley Gets The Dishes Done
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Because That Girl Your Holding Captive May Just Escape Soon
GO

Worst Female Driver
GO

Inner Tube Terror
GO

Quick Change Orgasm
GO

The Breast Game Show EVER
GO

Amy Winehouse is Going to Get Taken to the Cleaners, and I Don’t Mean
She is Finally Going to Take a Fucking Bath
GO

Who Says Going to the Mechanic Sucks?
GO

Because If You Don’t Have a Girlfriend By Now, There’s Just No Hope
GO

THE BEST VIDEO VERSION OF I KISSED A GIRL
GO

Arnold Schwarzenegger Really Is Just an Old Man
GO

A Fine Rack is Better Than a Wine Rack if You Ask Me
GO

A Taco Bell Wedding
GO

You Won’t Believe the Update From The Virginity Auction
GO

Get Sex Today, Because I Know You Have Nothing Better to Do
GO

Kate Beckinsale is All Sorts of Golden Globe Sexy
GO

Jennifer and Stephanie Are in the Panties
GO

Build Yourself a Miniture Airplane
GO

Cameron Diaz May Hae Got Herself in a Whole Load of Shit
GO

Martha Stewart Broke Up a Lesbian Orgy in Prison
GO

Eva Mendes is Just Stunning
GO

Mr.T in Informercials is Fine By Me
GO

Sorry, Your Vagina is Fucked
GO

Nicole Kidman Has the Crasiest Camel Toe Ever
GO

Bride Wars is Most Probably the Worst Movie of the Year
GO

BONUS:
Waste Time Like You Never Have Before
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

12

Jan

Lindsay Lohan Passive Aggressive Finger of the Day

I think Lindsay Lohan is awesome, but my advice to her would be to do funnier stunts to the paparazzi to get them to fuck off…. you know scratching your chin with your sex organ if you’re in a lesbian relationship is almost annoying and childish, throwing her feces or her dog’s feces, or maybe even an old used tampon, maybe even a hot drink, red paint, a midget would be a lot better. Sure she’s got to keep up appearances to ensure a future career and she has to be a pleasure to take pictures of because it’s all part of the PR machine, but I think it’s time for her to take shit up a notch and really do some fucking damage. I want to see some broken fucking noses and shit…

Posted in:Finger|Lindsay Lohan

2009

12

Jan

Anna Faris Lookin’ Hot Smoking of the Day

For those of you who like when girl’s smoke and the whole grey skin, grey pussy, haggard face, stink, cancer, disgusting teeth and fingers that comes with it. Here’s some pics of that Anna Faris bitch smoking and lookin’ what I would consider her fucking best. I don’t even know who this bitch is, and who really cares….I know that I don’t….

Posted in:Anna Faris|Smoking

2009

12

Jan

Rihanna Wasn’t Hiding a Nose Job, She Was Hiding Herpes of the Day

I posted some pics of Rihanna covering her face the other day, I am too lazy to link it, but I figured she got a nose job and was pulling a Michael Jackson, I didn’t even think she was covering up some mouth sores, because all the bitches I know who get this shit, embrace it and accept it as an inevitable outcome of their lifestyle and work. One once asked me if a soldier was ashamed of his amputations knowing he got them fighting for the country’s freedom, apparently, that was her rationale as to why she sucked dirty dick.

So Rihanna has mouth herpes, and so do 75% of the population, maybe she shouldn’t be such a pussy about letting the world in on her dirty little past that got her to where she is today.

Posted in:Herpes|Rihanna