Here’s a video of Madonna falling, it happens in the first 40 seconds of the video and the music track just keeps on going, proving that she doesn’t even need to be at the concert for the concert to go down. Maybe she’s just letting us know that you don’t need talent to be rich, you just need to be a slut, but we already know that, so maybe it’s just some kind of Christmas Miracle or Madonna super power called lip synching, but for some reason her fans don’t seem to care. Maybe they are just trying to pretend they are getting their 200 dollar ticket’s worth, you know denial….
The first time I watched the clip, I missed the old lady wipe out, unfortunately not injuring herself, but I did see her lesbian make out session with one of her dancers, because she’s all about shock and awe desite shit being disgusting, but the truth is it isn’t a lesbian make out session at all, because when Madonna went thru menopause her vagina turned into testicles….really muscular testicles. Watch the video….
Carmen Electra was out dressed like a Playboy Bunny dealer at some Vegas Playboy Casino because I guess she’s trying to promote her new spread. I can only assume it was part of the deal she made with Hef when she was on her knees begging that she needed this recognition to feel like she hasn’t got too old to be worth fucking. I am sure 98% of straight men could have given her that boost of confidence she needed because she’s still got it going on, but unfortunately Carmen Electra thinks she’s too good to get with 98% of men and has probably already go through the 2% she does think deserve alone time with her pussy.
I was invited to a poker night tonight, I don’t know how to play, but figure getting in a room with a bunch of men, talking about fucking, smoking cigars, gambling and eating Pizza can be fun…as long as it’s strip poker and the bunch of men are actually a bunch of whores and instead of stripping, they have to get fucked, finger banged or suck my dick when they lose a hand, but only if the buy in is less than 10 dollars because that’s all I can afford.
A few years ago I applied to be a mall Santa. I heard the pay was good, the work was seasonal, but I didn’t get the job because when they asked me why I wanted to do it. I didn’t go with the answer I had planned that involved me wanting to bring happiness to kids by being the embodiment of a myth that brings them joy and finding personal satisfaction in taking such an important roll in their life, but instead went with saying that I love asking anyone if they’ve been naughty while they are sitting on my lap telling me what they want, if you know what I mean, while winking at the dude doing the hiring. Instead of the job, I got reported to security to keep an eye out on me in the event they saw me near the Santa station. I guess they can’t take a joke…
But it turns out the people at this Hayden Panettiere event can, because they cast the ugliest Mrs Claus I’ve ever seen. She reminds me of the half retarded girl, who wasn’t quite retarded enough to be institutionalized, but was half retarded enough to have no friends in my highschool, except for my dick after I trained her how to make it cum on lunch hour. Merry Christmas.
Hilary Duff did Maxim and who really gives a shit. I am just surprised that Maxim is still around and that people buy that shit, not only because magazines are pretty fucking obsolete and kill trees, you fucking hippies, but because shit’s more repetitive than me, it’s like every issue is a repeat of the last issue and despite finding comfort in things we know and trust, it’s still boring and a waste of fucking time. Sure, I pull that shit out in magazine stands, just to see if maybe they’ve updated their format, or to see if they’ve finally bit the bullet and gone porn, but they just always let me the fuck down, including these pictures of Hilary Duff, would it be too much to ask to see a photoshoot with a skate to her neck and a hockey sick in her ass, while her boyfriend and the rest of his team suck each other off like they do in the locker room after they won a big fucking game, because it’s not gay to suck off your teammate if a teen starlet is in the corner fucking the equipment, like she does it in the bedroom at home? Step it the fuck up Maxim.
I am tired of hearing this bitch being compared to Angelina Jolie. I don’t give a fuck that she’s biting Jolie’s style in hopes of being the next Jolie, I just care that people are treating her like some kind of fucking accomplishment to be the new hot chick bad girl, when all she is is an insecure copycat, proven in the fact that she’s dating David from 90210.
The truth is that I have met many strippers in my day, all of them had some celebrity or pornstar they looked up to and tried to be, but no matter how many times I’d see a fake blonde bitch in a red one piece bathing suit doin’ the Pam Anderson, or how many times I’d see a skinny teenage girl in Christina Aguilera’s catsuit dancing to her Dirty song, I’d know I was dealing with lower grade versions of the shit, even if I’d still fuck them or pay them 10 dollars to touch their tits, despite them giving me this attitude that I’m lucky to be getting with them before their big concert or trip to the fucking South of France, because they thought they were fuckin famous, despite being local whores….
Now I am not a fan of Angelina, I don’t really give a fuck about her, but I hate all the love this Megan Fox gets because she doesn’t need an ego as egos are the one thing that prevents a girl from following her natural calling of suckin’ random dick in bar bathrooms, but instead feeling like their too good to suck dick at all because they are Megan fucking Fox and can’t be fucking bothered, and here she is at the Video Game awards doing her thing for the people who made her who she is, you know the guys who never leave their house because they’re about to get a girl they’ve been talking to on the other side of the world, to show them their mystical powers on World of Warcraft…who constantly big her up and send her fan mail fucking up my whole plan for her to follow the insecure little girl I know she is and maybe that’s the real reason I hate videogames.
So Tara Reid is in rehab and wants her privacy at this time. They aren’t saying what she’s in for, but I am guessing it’s got something to do with partying, because that’s all she does. She’s got enough money to not have to work and gets invited to parties around the world, and has a serious need to self medicate, something we all do to forget our horrible past and the bad decisions we’ve made along the way and in Tara Reid’s case, that baggage is Carson Daly. Something, I probably would have killed myself over, you know I thought fucking a fat chick and marrying her to remind myself that I hate myself was bad enough, but having Carson Daly inside you….I mean….that’s a fate I wish on nobody….so the fact she’s made it out of it long enough to get herself into rehab and to go through the needed therapy to forget his naked body up against hers, is already a pretty huge feat, maybe Tara Reid is really that superhero I always thought she was….
Either way, here’s the article…..
‘American Pie’ star Tara Reid checks into rehab
2 days ago
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A publicist says Tara Reid has checked herself into rehab. Jack Ketsoyan said Friday that the “American Pie” star went to the Promises Treatment Center. He did not specify what she was being treated for or when she entered the facility.
“We appreciate your respect to her and her family’s privacy at this time,” he said in a statement.
And here are some random pictures of her on her perpetual Spring Break that is her life…..a Spring Break that was fueled by whatever she is in Rehab for…..One that Rehab is going to put an end to…..
Since I am lazy and don’t do research on much other than Amateur Porn and various health symptoms to see what diseases I may or may not have, and since I don’t actually care about what’s going on on TV or in Movies or even in Hollywood, despite my site being pretty much only about sluts in Hollywood, I rely heavily on PR people and random people to send me stories.
So I got this email:
I’ve done a little research on the latest NBC reality show to debut December 16th, “Momma’s Boys”, a new series with producer Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest may have the sweetest, most innocent smile on television, however, his reputation may face some serious smearing with this project.
While scrolling through the new cast members, I thought to myself how much they looked like porn stars or strippers vying for television exposure. My suspicions were confirmed when I recognized Erica Ellyson, Miss 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year. With a little help from my good friend Google, I found Ms. Ellyson was not the only cast member with a racy background. A total of 4 of these lovely women chosen to find true love have taken there clothes off for the camera more times than one. I have included some links that you may be interested in taking a look at, pics and all.
So seeing as this piece of shit show hits tomorrow, and seeing that Ryan Seacrest is my soulmate with his frosted hair and killer smile always seduce me and since I’ve had a relationship with him when I am feeling gay, because you can’t control who your soul mates are, I figured it’d only be right to showcase the sluts of his show, to give him the boost of interest he was hoping for in casting them and not trying to hide the fact that they are whores who get naked for money. Truth is, I think it’s a good strategy to get people to watch, so maybe he’s not just a dreamy motherfucker, but also a genius.
Either way, here’s a glimpse at the sluts that were cast:
Erica Ellyson (2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year) Hometown: Hurley, MS Occupation: Adult Model Age: 24
Hey y’all! I was born and raised in South Mississippi. I grew up a bit of a tomboy; fishing with my parents, running track, playing golf and softball. After attending community college, I went to architecture school until I received the title of the 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year. Right now, I’m taking a break from my studies due to my travel demands as a Penthouse Pet. I will go back to school when my year with Penthouse is finished. I like to play golf as much as possible. When not on the course, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends: cooking, eating, and watching football and baseball.
I love how all these nude models say they were tomboy’s growing up, it really makes them that much hotter….to pedophiles.
Meghan Allen (Playboy) Hometown: Dallas, TX Occupation: Bartender/Model Age: 27
I love Texas and all it has to offer. I have the most amazing job and friends! I am a hair stylist, but right now I’m working as a bartender/cocktail waitress at one of the hottest clubs in Dallas. I love my job because it gives me free time to do what I love most, which is modeling. Lately, I’ve been very busy with photo shoots because I am working on a website. In my free time I love doing anything that has to do with water… the beach, pool, boating etc. I love hanging out with my friends and just relaxing. I’m a very laid-back person and love to laugh and have a good time. I’m probably one of the goofiest girls you’d ever meet. I’m not afraid to be myself – for instance, I love to burp out loud and am not shy about it! My little Chihuahua Bella is my world! I have the most amazing family. Since they live in Pennsylvania I miss them tons! That’s pretty much me in a nutshell.
Another barmaid/waitress from Texas who saved herself enough money for fake tits to get all the attention she can get to the level of fame she deserves. In her mind, this show is a stepping stone, in reality, it’s her 5 minutes and the fact that she burps out loud is fucking disgusting.
Stacy Fuson (Playboy)
Hometown:Tacoma, WA Occupation: Student/Model Age: 30
I loved growing up in Washington State. This led me to my love of fishing and boating. As a kid, I played a lot of sports. My favorites are softball, volleyball, basketball, and bowling. I enjoy traveling and have been to England, France, Croatia, Argentina, Peru, Panama, and Japan. I love Japanese food, especially sushi. For the past 12 years, I’ve been modeling and have worked on “Entourage,” “Shallow Hal,” “American Pie,” and “Sullivan Sisters.” I was Playboy’s Miss February 1999 and the 2005 St. Pauli Girl. I love the beach, going to dinner, and watching movies. I’m a producer and anchor on a news website. I’m also going to business school and will soon launch my own brand of vitamins, Vitamins by Stacy.
Isn’t 30 a little too old to still be in school? Maybe a better strategy would be to go more hardcore, throw some dick into these photoshoots and make your work matter a little more than it does, if you are going to be a fucking whore to get ahead…be a fucking whore and give us something worth lookin’ at….whore.
I am sure you’ve all seen this video of an Iraqi journalist throwing his shoe at President Bush to let President Bush he’s not too down with him or what he’s done and that he’s not welcome to his Birthday party after killing his friends and countrymen. The funny thing in all this is that President Bush thinks it’s funny, he’s just laughing it off and dodged the shit like he was in high school gym class game of dodgeball, which coincidentally was the only class he passed without his mom doing his homework for him.
The guy who did it must feel like a bit of an asshole for missing, considering it’s probably the last thing he’ll ever get to do because I hear the prison system in Iraq involves being dragged outside and executed and it always sucks when your legacy is the guy who died for throwin’ his shoe at Bush and missin’.
I felt bad about making fun of Bettie Page when she was in a coma about to die. I mean no one deserves to die, even if they are 85 year old or if they are sinners, because I am not one to judge since I love whores. I just realize I was being a little harsh, and I’ve been fighting with myself over it, because I never feel guilt and by fighting myself I mean I totally forgot and went out on a bit of a bender, but maybe that’s just my way to mourn.
But then I came across this last Bettie Page photoshoot, I took it as a sign, and I figured I’d throw it up as a tribute to her life, so this is from one of her last photoshoots before she disappeared and refused to be photographed ever again because she gained a few pounds in her retirement, a few pounds that are probably the reason she had that fatal heart attack…..what? too soon?
I added this girl who was causing ruckus Sam Ronson’s Facebook profile, to figure out what the drama was all about because it was in broken English and I really have nothing interesting going on…
The profile looked legit, like a 18 year old young girl and I got to talking and she was defending some dude who Lohan had deleted off Facebook for being a creepy stalker. Within a minute of being added to her profile, I realized that it was fake and really Lohan’s creepy stalker’s clever way to get back into Lohan’s internet life. Yes…I am being fucking serious.
So this girl and I start talking and she’s not making sense, but is really passionate about this guy she’s defending and his legitimate feelings for Lohan. She goes off about how Lohan was his Facebook friend and he told her not to do drugs or something ridiculous, because he doesn’t want his women on drugs, Lohan freaks out, deletes him and he goes into some psycho fit destroying a portrait he’s spent 6 months painting…..Yes…I am being fucking serious.
By this point, I’m already bored, sure it’s kinda nuts that a stalker is pretending to be a girl badly to get back on Lohan’s Facebook while talking about himself in the third person and the fact that Lohan and Ronson are interacting with this fake profile because they are idiots making him think he’s tricked them and is getting closer to them, but he said something to me from his fake profile, talking about himself in the third person that I felt I should leave with you to close off the week, because it brings the Holiday spirit into my shithole I call home, and I hope it brings it into yours…..
he had dreams about lindsay when his ex wife left him… he couldnt control his dreams, he has been like that forever
It doesnt make no sense but to me it feels like thr is a connection between thr brains or soemthing
ask her if she dreams about him?
he believes that lohan is his wife in heaven
and his dreams point to that matter
he doesnt want her in this life
Well that’s reassuring….
Lohan better be locking her doors, and should re-think adding randoms to her facebook. I better be getting to fuck to the bar before I fall asleep missing out on another day of this beautiful life…..and you better be clicking on my links….
