I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Dec

Lauren Conrad Does the Lohan of the Day

If you know anything about young girls in Hollywood, you know that when they are wasted, they always leave the club with their head aimed to the ground and their hair in their face. I guess it’s because no matter how fucked up their insecure selves are, they always manage to remember to never let a paparazzi get a shot of their face, because when a girl is drunk, she ususally isn’t lookin her best. Which is weird because young girls in Hollywood never seem to remember to use condoms when they are drunk, which I guess is good news for the manufacturers of the Valtrex and the morning after pill,

Unfortunately, the drunk girls I know are a little more embarrassing than their Hollywood counterparts. You know, if they aren’t passed out in the fucking corner letting me finger bang them because they don’t know I am finger banging them, but technically, I’m not violating them, since they never say no and we all know that if they don’t say no then they aren’t totally against what you’re doing to them, then their causing scenes, screaming at bouncers or random people, pissing on the side of the street, or desperately trying to get their fat asses fucked by any guy willing to take them home and when their puke covered dresses get ignored, they end up crying and hating themselves more than they did before they started drinking.

Either way, it’s not news that Lauren Conrad likes to drink, I mean if you were here, you probably would be medicated too, it’s pretty much the only way you could live with yourself for being a lying joke of a celebrity and I call this drunken celebrity dance The Lohan.

Posted in:Drunk|Lauren Conrad|Lohan

2008

04

Dec

Anna Kournikova Stayin Fit of the Day

Today I learned that some thigns never change. First I discovered that Anna Kournikova, a moused faced tennis pro everyone wanted to fuck years ago stays skinny and fit even though she probably doesn’t have to and then I discovered that small dogs still seem to be a gay man magnet because the last 3 times I’ve walked my wife’s dog today, I’ve had at least one gay dude serenade me with questions about the dog, leading to them complimenting my eyes or my broad stature or some sexual innuendos I pretend I don’t quite grasp but know what they are getting at because they assume I’m a poofter too, proving that gay people will fuck anything that dresses in pants and small dogs haven’t lived down the stereotype that comes with them. Unfortunately, I still look too creepy and straight to have hot unsuspecting girls fall for the same homo trick, you know the one where you play gay to gain their trust then switch out on them when they are drunk claiming their pussy is the first pussy you’ve ever wanted to lick for hours on end.

For the record, I didn’t go through with the back alley dog walking blowjob, even though I probably should of, I hear it takes someone who owns a dick to really know how to work a dick….but then again I was told that by a sexual deviant fag trying to lure me into the dark side. Ok, enough of this story. Here’s Anna Kournikova’s tight body……

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Fit

2008

04

Dec

Heidi Montag’s Staged Bikini Pictures on Her Staged Honeymoon for a Staged Marriage of the Day

Heidi Montag and her boyfriend got fake married for their show, they then went on a fake honeymoon to celebrate their fake marriage for the show and here are the staged pictures of them on the beach because the paparazzi just happened to be there and weren’t hired by the show. Now I am all for fucking with the public if they are stupid enough to buy into it, I mean it’s the foundation of government and religion and most of healthcare, pharmaceuticals and corporations, so I haven’t got a problem with these two clowns stuntin’ like this. I mean sure she sold her soul to MTV for a payout much higher than working some Colorado Ski Restort’s ticket booth for minimum wage and I’m sure you all would do the same fucking thing, because it’s a winning lottery ticket that only costs your dignity and privacy for a couple of years, because proven by how bad and obvious these bikini pics turned out, there’s no fucking chance she’ll be going onto more acting work. So despite The Hills and everything about it being contrived, scripted horse shit, that plays out worse than a Soap Opera, there is no way this Montag is going to use it as a stepping stone to get to the Academy Awards like she was Hilary Swank and this was The Next Karate Kid or some shit, yeah, I know Hilary Swank’s career, Fuck you.

Posted in:Bikini|Heidi Montag|Staged

2008

04

Dec

Chelsy Davy’s Personal Bikini Pictures Exclusive of the Day

I don’t expect you to know who Chelsy Davy is because she’s dating Prince Harry and has been for 4 years and you’re not quite classy enough to keep track of the Royal Family, not that I am classy enough to know who Chelsy Davy is, because I don’t keep track of the Royal Family, unless you consider me collecting change on the street corner keeping track of the Queen, because her face is on all Canadian money, and I have jerked off to her at least once when material was scarce and all I had on me was a quarter and my imagination, but that doesn’t matter.

The truth is that I am not classy enough to do much, just last week I got kicked out of a McDonald’s. It was at 3 am, I was drunk and they rudely woke me up while I was peacifully napping on the bathroom floor with my pants pulled down and the stall door left open, so this high society shit is pretty much beyond me, but I do know that this girl’s got some pretty solid tits, sure if I was a Prince, I’d be pullin’ substantially better ass than this, not that it would be that hard, considering I’m not a Prince and have landed better ass than this, she was easy and hated herself so it wasn’t that challenging, but more a right time, right place situation that gave me hope of a better tomorrow. True story.

Here are those personal pics of the Prince’s future wife.

Posted in:Bikini|Chelsy Davy|Tits

2008

04

Dec

Keri Russel Gets Slutty for Details Magazine of the Day

I used to work with a virgin comic book and action figure collecting virginal computer geek who never drank but who would always been in an amazing mood on the days that Felicity was on. He’d run around the warehouse where we worked with a huge smile on his face and bounce in his step all because of this Keri Russel bitch.

I never bothered watching the show to see what the hype he generated was all about, because I knew that him being a socially awkward virgin at 25, meant his interest in girls was a lot different than mine. He wasn’t into hot sluts who suck dick while being foot fucked, he was into wholesome girls he could imagine going horseback riding with and sitting in front of the fire talking about space travel with. He didn’t view her as pussy, but as a person he connected with, even though she was a character on TV. He was convinced she was a good girl, one you’d want to have your kids and I am sure this Details magazine shoot would really break his heart, seeing that she’s a slut like every girl he’s ever lusted for but who never gave him the time of day, provided he hasn’t killed himself yet, so I am posting them for him, because it’s my kind of revenge for having to listen to him preach about drinking being bad and brag about the size of his hard drives all while not realizing no one gives a fuck about him, especially not Felicity.

Posted in:Keri Russel|See Through|Slutty

2008

04

Dec

Youtube Video of the Day

His name is: beebee890.
His Youtube Channel description is: me talking doing little blogs can crashes my just being me .
His interests: i like you tube.
His location: United States.
His psychological evaluation: He’s not crazy, he’s just retarded.

You gotta give youtube some credit, they’ve made a place where the local weirdo no one talks to can get an audience bigger than the one he’s used to at local public places he usually has his fits in. It’s taken focus off the real celebrities and allowed people with no shame to be known and laughed at by the world. I don’t really know if that’s a good thing, because I can only assume it leads to suicide, but it seems to make me and the rest of the world laugh at other people’s expense, without them actually knowing it, guilt-free, so instead of clenching our purses and crossing the street, we can see their episodes on repeat and even send them to our friends.


To See the Rest of His 1600 Videos
GO

Posted in:Crazy|Youtube

2008

04

Dec

Karolina Kurkova is Fat of the Day

How many people does it take to squeeze fatty Karolina Kurkova into her outfit? The answer is a lot. Sure it’s a fashion show and there is a team of people dressing everyone to make sure everything goes as smooth as Karolina Kurkova’s body used to be before it become a thick, chunky, lumpy sack of shit. Don’t get mad at me Karolina Kurkova fans who are convinced she’s going to marry you and looks better than fucking ever because you’re fucking delusional and being influenced by your creepy love for her.

She’s been given warnings from Victoria’s Secret that she’s the next to go and that she’s too big for their lingerie and the cries and screams and pleas with the camera crew to not show her in this moment of shame, when the outfit she was sized for ripped for her like I am sure it did many times before, because she ate a couple too many chocolate bars. In her defense, when she was a little girl in the Czech Republic, under communist rule, she used to lay in bed dreaming about American chocolate bars while sucking on a rationed potato, so it’s only natural for her to go crazy on the shit when she settles here, kinda like my wife in any buffet restaurant…

Either way, here’s The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in Video on Youtube…Unless they Delete the Shit….

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5


Here are a whole lot of pictures from the show, when it actually went down, before the gratuitous slow motion vagina zoom in shots in post production that you can’t really appreciate in these shitty youtube videos…
GO

Posted in:Fat|Karolina Kurkova

2008

03

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

The economic crisis is hitting close to home. I just had to fire 50% of my staff which is pretty shitty considering the fucker won employee of the month for the last 48 months straight. It’s also too bad because I am the only person who works here, but times are tough and my couch is comfortable so I gotta do what I gotta do. It’s business, not personal…

Here are my links….

There’s a Party Happening in China
GO

I Wouldn’t Let Him Ride Me Either
GO

The Hottest Indian Women in History
GO

Heidi Klum God Damn
GO

Adriana Lima Is Fine By Me
GO

A School Girl Will Always Put a Smile On Your Face
GO

Awesome Collection of Wii Accidents
GO

Here’s a Guide To Losing Your Virginity, Because You Are a Loser WHo Will Never Get Laid Ever
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Batman Wants You to Lift Safely!!
GO

Holly Madison is Looking Good Since Leaving Hef
GO

I Like the Slutt Paris Hilton Better
GO

Some Super Model Nip Slips
GO

It’s Official. Lindsay Lohan is No Longer an Actress
GO

The 5 Most Awkward Kool Aid Ads Ever
GO

Bear Attack!!
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Jessica Simpson Wanting to Study Anything is the Biggest Oxy Moron Ever
GO

Sorry, I Don’t Think You Fit
GO

Here’s Some Sluts, Because Sluts Are Awesome
GO

The Best Little Jon Mash Up Ever
GO

Motor Show Sluts
GO

Ashlynn Brooke Has Some Big Ol’ Tits
GO

STFU Kanye, For Fucks Sake
GO

Romanian Army Striptease
GO

Kim Kardashian Wants to Do Playboy Again Because She Had No Relevance Whatsoever
GO

Ambulence Hit By a Land Slide
GO

And I Thought I Had a Weak Gag Reflex
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

The Worst Tattoo Ever…..
GO

Drunk at the Office Party
GO

I Hope We See a Lot More of Candace
GO

Rita is Golden
GO

Doutzen Kroes is Lovely
GO

Apparently Jennifer Hudson’s Family Was Killed Over This Bitch
GO

Aria Giovanni is All I Want in Life
GO

Don’t Hate the Playa…
GO

Some Arizona State Volleyball Player in Her Underwear
GO

Basketball Shot of the Year
GO

The Pirelli Nude Calendar in Full…..
GO

Some Photobucket Whore in See THrough Clothes…
GO

This dude’s got it all figured out…
GO

Here’s a funny, but obvious Awkward Situation
GO

GiGi is a Myspace Whore
GO

Some Juice Ad Made for A Woman But Gives Men Boners…
GO

The Wife Carrying Contest…
GO

Fat Ass Jamie Lynn Spears Got Liposuction When Pregnant at 16
GO

Some Sluts Posing With Cars at the Essen Motor Show…
GO

Watch Some Myleene Chick Wet in Her Bikini Video in some Zoo Magazine Countdown….
GO

Some Wonderbra Ad Because We Like Girls In Their Underwear
GO

Some Drunk Driver Runs Over Himself…
GO

Some Emo Chick Ripping Off Nipple Tape…
GO

A Mom Does A Webcam Stripshow
GO

Get a Pussy Tickler at Harriet Carter
GO

Some Tits Or Guns Poll
GO

Teaser for the Best Show I’ll Never Watch….Because I Like Vagina…..
GO

Learn How to Beat Box
GO

So THATS Where the Shampoo Went
GO

Some
GO

Bonus Video – Male Lactation…Because if they can do it, we should celebrate it….

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

03

Dec

Britney Spears Circus Video Leak of the Day

Britney Spears is everywhere, this is her new video for one of her songs. It was leaked on some Japanese site which was a little surprising, since I thought Japanese people were only into puking on each other and fucking sea food, but then I realized this is Britney Spears we’re talking about and 90 percent of what she does involves puke and sea food.


If You Want To Watch the Video It Is Here For Now….
GO

Here’s the youtube….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Circus|Video Leak

2008

03

Dec

Whitney Port Stole My Curtains of the Day

Whitney Port is some whore from The Hills and here she is in a dress that reminds me a little too much of the curtains my wife brought home from the Salvation Army because she was annoyed of the garbage bags I had taped to the window for the last few years. The least the photographer could have done to make these pictures a little more post worthy is accidentally drop his keys near her and discreetly bend down to pick them up to see if people from The Hills actually have genitals, or if they are just some kind of robots created by MTV. You know, get a shot of Whitney Port in Curtains Showing Off Her Beef Curtains or some shit….

The truth is whenever I try that kind of shit, I always get busted and never end up getting a glimpse of what I set out to see, because girls tend to scream loud when they see you on all fours with your head angled to see up their fucking skirts. The whole this is really inconsiderate to my needs and make me look like I am some kind of pervert in front of all of my friends in the waiting room at the DMV, doctor’s office, mall, or wherever a short skirt slut leaning over happens to be, when they could just go along with the whole thing and have fun with it by you know, letting me get little something out of it, considering it’s not all that much more revealing than what they wear on the beach, but instead they have these rules and regulations governing who can and can’t look up their skirt. I guess the world’s just not as giving as it should be, even in this Holiday Season and the whole thing makes me think humanity has no hope….

Posted in:Curtains|Whitney Port