I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

21

Nov

Fran Drescher’s Got Hot Teeth of the Day

I hate Fran Drescher’s voice. That shit drove me up the fucking wall and whenever I’d hear it, I’d want to jump off a fucking bridge, but I could alway turn her off, her teeth didn’t have the same luxury and I guess after a lifetime of having to expell that obnoxious screeching, they’ve pretty much given up and are slowly trying to make their escape by killing themselves because whatever the fuck’s going on in her mouth, it’s fucking disgusting.

Speaking of rotten mouth, I went back to some girl’s house last night, hoping to get lucky, but instead decided to slip some GHB in her drink to make things easier, but shit wasn’t GHB, leaving her poisoned in bathroom puking, where I anxiously stood outside the door, listening to the sloshing sounds coming out of her stomach, waiting for her to come out, because I invested 5 dollars in the shit, and was planning on getting something out of it, so I grabbed her and started making out but I wish I didn’t because she didn’t brush her teeth like she was Fran Drescher and I ended up with chunks of half digested food in my mouth, but it wasn’t so bad after I got used to the taste.

Bonus – Here’s a video of Fran Fine Meeting Fran Drescher on The Nanny in one of TV’s Classic Moments…in one of TV’s most underrated show, because it sucked.

Posted in:Dentist|Fran Drescher

2008

21

Nov

Annalynne McCord’s Got a Bikini Nipple Slip of the Day

Some fake Annalynne McCord added me to facebook today. I tried to get to talking to her, but she just ignored me. So if the fake Annalynne is that much of a cunt, I can’t only assume the real one is even more of a cunt. You know, the kind of girl who thought she was pretty in highschool, but no one else did because of her lanky little body and big stupid hair, , but she showed all of us. She made it in Hollywood, if you consider a gig on Nip/Tuck and 90210 really making it, which I don’t. But at least she is skinny. Sure she’s got a clown face, small ass and small tits that remind me of a childhood dream I once had, of me in an open field with a herd of wild horses running my way, a trickling brook to my left and the sun shining down on me all while fucking my childhood best friend, who was a guy. It caused some issues I would have brought up in therapy, but could never afford that bullshit.

Either way, here she is in a bikini with her tit poppin’ out, that’s what happens when bras or bikinis in your size don’t exist, because you’re chest classifies you as a dude….if you know what I mean….which you do since it happens to you every time you put a condom on….

Bonus – Here she is simulating a blowjob

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini|Nipple

2008

21

Nov

Rob Pattinson Eyebrows Exclusive of the Day

I know you don’t give a shit about this guy, but someone sent in this email and since he’s a hot item right now, decided I’d post it. Sure he doesn’t have tits, but he probably gets a lot of tits, becaue this Twilight shit is fuckin’ crazy. I know 18 year old girls who have told me it has changed their lives, have told me they have masturbated reading it, and by default, that makes this Rob Pattinson a heart throb, but with eyebrows liek that, he looks more like he’s got a hipster’s pussy on his head, because hipsters think it’s cool and artistic to no shave their pussies…

Anyway, I got this email along with the pic….

i have a funny picture for you of robert pattinson

i hung out with him in portland a bunch when he was filming

yeah, not so cute

Right….I am sure the second you saw him in the bar and found out what he was doing there and who he was, you didn’t care about his fucking eyebrows, but instead jumped on his dick, but now that he’s not returning your calls, because every girl in the world is trying to get on his dick, he doesn’t have time to return his calls from the slut in Portland who to him seemed so long ago, but to you, it’s the highlight of your fucking life. I could be wrong. It happens, but I do appreciate the pic and I’d never wrong you like he did baby….

Oh, and the fact that the only exclusives I get are of some guy I’ve never heard of because I don’t like vampire movies or little wizard kid movies and his eyebrows, depresses the fuck out of me. Where’s the Lohan sex tape, or the Spencer Pratt getting fisted by Montag video….Come on people..Get it together…

Posted in:Eyebrows|Robert Pattison

2008

21

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

I got this email today…

I need some hardcore sex advice please, and have no one else to turn to about things this slutty and lets be honest here, it is pretty much right up your alley…
 
How do I talk a guy into cumming inside me?
 
About a month or so ago me and my boyfriend decided to fuck bareback for the first time. His first time ever inside a girl without a condom on. I could spend forever going on about how much better it feels to actually have a mans dick inside you without anything covering it, but thats not the issue at hand. Thing is, he is smartly paranoid about accidentally getting me pregnant, so after a few almost accidental finishes inside me he pulled out and came all over my stomach and chest. Im not complaining, I happen to love cum pretty much anywhere it lands… but…
 
Im a dirty little girl and want to feel him shoot inside me. He cums hard so I know feeling him explode in my tight little pussy will be amazing. Its so much fun to feel it get harder and throb and then shoot off a nice warm load inside, not to mention the fun of laying around in bed talking afterwards with his cum slowly dripping from my body…
 
Im a smart girl too and know my body’s schedule and can be certain within like 98 % that I would not have any pregnancy issues to worry about, if I choose the day this happens.
 
But what Im asking from you is should I ask for it? Should I tell him how dirty I am and that I want nothing more than to know what a cream pie from him would feel like? Or since he is kind of perverted too do I just wait for his dick to take control of his mind and let him be the one to suggest we try it? You are a guy- even if your cock doesn’t work- which would you prefer?

I wrote this back to her:

Either dude’s gay, you have a rank pussy, or you’re too needy and emotional that he’s scared if there is a slip up, you won’t abort the fucking mission. If he’s gay, slick your hair back, get a strap on and shove it down his throat, if you’re pussy is rank, wash it, hose it down, or strap a fleshlight between your legs and pretend it is you or just give him a blowjob, and if you’re too needy and emotional, show up equipped with a coat hanger to let him know you’re not fucking around….or documentation that you’ve had previous abortions and having his baby is the last thing you want, but his sperm inside you is the first thing you want. I don’t know, every guy I know would love their girlfriend to have this problem..internal cumshots is what sex is supposed to be if you are part of some religious movement who only has sex for procreation or if you’re a dog mating…

Either way, I am probably better suited to give you masturbating advice, since I don’t have sex.

Love

Jesus

Here are my links:

Pussy is Easy When the Slut Wants Money
GO

I Want Rhianna To Wrap Those Legs Around Me
GO

Monkey on a Bike Makes the Pathetic Day I Had a Little Brighter
GO

Kelly Brooke Does Bikini Right
GO

Why Anyone Would Stalk Jennifer Garner is Beyond Me
GO

Some Shitty Paris Hilton Upskirt
GO

The Hottest Hip Hop Gossip Sluts
GO

Doutzen Kroes is All Over the Fucking Place
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

STREAKER!!!!!
GO

My Step Daughters Annoy The Shit Out of Me, But I’m Glad They Didn’t Turn Out Like These Little Bitches
GO

Jennifer Aniston Still Sits Around Watching Old Episodes of Friends.
Fuck That is Depressing
GO

Lohan Continues to Waste Away
GO

Operation and the Temple of Doom
GO

Dolphin Porn
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

How Much Bad Internet do YOU Watch?
GO

Kelly is My Kind Women
GO

Amy Winehouse is Dead in a Pool Of Blood
GO

As I Was Going to St.Ides…
GO

Next Time, Use a condom
GO

The World’s Most Wanted Weiner
GO

I Wanna Motor Boat Shoshanna Lonstein
GO

Sophia’s Legs Go On For Days….
GO

Who Knew Hyphenated Last Names Could Bring So Much Joy?
GO

Winona Ryder Od’ed on an Airplane
GO

Kurkova Has No Belly Button….But She Probably Has a Pussy
GO

This is So Much Hotter Than Beyonce or the Gay Guy Doing Her Dance in a Leotard…
GO

ANTOURAGE!
GO

Bitch Breaks a Boat Bench
GO

Molested in the Stadium
GO

Tired of gloryholing dudes for money? Earn $200/day here instead
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Lichelle Marie is Delightful
GO

Blake Living Doing Some Thing or Another
GO

Apparently The World’s Fattest Man Got Laid, Which Means Anything is Possible!!
GO

Kimmy HAs Fun With Lotion
GO

The Opposite Sex is The Only Sex I Want
But Being a Homo is Okay Too
GO

Claudia Verela Wants to Play Football
GO

Everyone Hates George Bush
GO

Some Classic Jenna Jameson
GO

Gay and In BOth Shitty and Homosexual
GO

Let’s Laugh at Dimitri the Lover Again, Just Because
GO

Hayden Panettiere Topless
GO

Stupid Cliches You Should Use More Often
GO

A COuple Almost Gets Busted Fucking in a Park By a Jogger…
GO

A Little Zebra Bra Strap Showin…..
GO

Top 10 girls in John Hughes Movies…
GO

Denver Nuggets Cheerleader’s Big Tits Silences the Announcer…
GO

Israeli Big Boob Dance video
GO

This is Probably One of the Weirdest Pictues I’ve Seen…..
GO

Sarah Palin Hanging WIth Some Turkey’s That Are Getting Slaughtered…AMAZING….
GO

The Best of Hand Bras…Gallery
GO

Some Pictures of the Ugliest Bride Ever…Poor Fucker…
GO

Pam Anderson Naked for Hef
GO

The Kind of Passed Out You Don’t Want to Be
GO

The United Nations of Hot Cheerleaders
GO

Hypnotizing Hips
GO

Death By Vaginal Cockaroach
GO

Some Scary Winehouse Art…
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Girl Masturbating and Making Out With McDonald’s
GO

Some Penetration
GO

Some Chubby Legs in a Tube Dress
GO

BONUS That is Definitely Not a Bonus…..Rosie O’Donnell Beefing With Barbara Walters…..This Would Make The Worst Sex Tape In History, One I’d Still Try to Jerk Off to, Just to Prove How Fucking Good I am at Jerking Off…Like this would be the Ultimate Challenge for Masturbators Everywhere, The Everest of celebrity sex tape sex with yourself…..If you know what I mean…..I like challenges like Rosie O’Donnell Likes Beef….Wow..That was a Shitty Bonus…I should try to find another one…But I am too Lazy….

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

20

Nov

Jordan Katie Price In Her Lingerie of the Day

Jordan or Katie Price was out promoting her lingerie with her 3 year old son in tow, which is a bit of a relief for that little fucker, despite what everyone’s saying about shit being inappropriate for him, because the majority of the time he has spent with her, she’s either spread the fuck eagled and shoving random things in her cunt, or playing with her retardedly big reduced tits so the implant doesn’t harden, so if anything, she’s bought him a little more time before coming out of the closet in 13 years….despite prancing around for him in a thong….

I used to hang with this really poor dirty kid, like even poorer and dirtier than me because I was living with white perverted religious people, and I went over to play video games when I was 15 years old. He lived in a shitty one bedroom apartment, and he slept on the floor in the living room, and I walked into this garbage bag taped on the windows, shit pretty much everywhere, hell they called home, that in hindsight looks a lot like where I live now, but was something even shittier than I had experienced back in Mexico.

Anyway, it was around 4 in the afternoon, and this tight bodied, haggard slut walks out with a cigarette hanging from her mouth, a drink in one hand, in nothing but a pair of fucking panties, and no shirt and about a minute later, some trucker lookin motherfucker walks out, slaps her on the ass, thanks her, says what’s up to us and schedules a meeting for the same time a couple of days later, so here I am in a ghetto fucking brothel, with some haggard lookin’ whore and her son, staring at some tits, knowing she just got fucked for money and it was fucking hot and probably one of the biggest influences in my life…..

Either way, I guess it didn’t have the same affect on him, because a couple years ago, this is over 20 years after it happened, I ran into the guy, he remembered me, I asked him what was up and he told me he had AIDS and spent the last 20 years as a male stripper, male pornstar and a street hustler, I said something like “following in mommy’s footsteps aren’t ya” and he didn’t laugh and I didn’t shake his AIDS hand…..but yeah…slutty mom’s breed gays and that was the point of my story….

Here are the pics of her and not of her kid, because who really needs to see a 3 year old with highlights in his hair….

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Lingerie

2008

20

Nov

Aly Michalka Looks Like a Fake Titty Gameshow Prop of the Day

Here is one half of the Disney Sisters you may or may not have wanted to fuck when they were on Disney or when they followed up their Disney stint with a couple of albums you may or may not have heard, fallin in love with, and played to yourself everynight on your ipod while falling asleep dreaming about the day you will one day be together.

She looks like a fake titty gameshow girl from the 70s, the kind would you’d see on Price is Right acting all inappropriate with a new fridge, or ice skates or dining room set, or even with a NEW CAR like the cheap slut that she is, before going back stage and letting Bob Barker eat her asshole. You know the what I’m talking about….

And I guess there’s nothing wrong with that, or the fact that she got herself a set of fake tits….because everyone’s allowed to spend their money trying to better themselves, even if breast implants are the worst fucking thing ever, not only do they look like shit, but they also come with shitty quality girls with shitty attitudes and it annoys me…

Posted in:Aly Michalka|cleavage|Implants

2008

20

Nov

Doutzen Kroes is a Monster of the Day

Doutzen Kroes is one of the newer Victoria’s Secret Angels. She’s been modeling for a little while, has some decent campaigns and I’ve never heard of her. The reason I am posting these pictures is because I have an issue with models. They look good in pictures, but the second I am next to one, and not humping their leg like a dog showing it’s dominance, I feel like I am the dainty one. It’s like I go up to their tits, their shoulders are broader than my 300 pound body and they look like someone you’d want to bet on in a bar pudding wrestling match, or at least someone you’d call to help you move. They look like they are someone you’d want to get with, but the second you slide their Shaq-sized pump on, you realize that you’re dealing with a fuckin’ monster and there’s pretty much no way out….Either way, she brought her big ol’ body that looks good because it is proportionate when she’s with other big tall skinny monsters or alone, but the second you throw a normal sized person in their, you’ll realize you’re dealing with something that looks more like THIS , than something out of a porn movie….a very weird porn movie that you’re wearing women’s shoes in….

Either way, here are her pics…..

And I guess she’s engaged because it looks like she’s bragging and I hate when girls think we give a fuck that they are engaged, or that they are so happy, living the fucking life, one much better than we’re living, or even that she was living was back home in the Netherlands before Victoria’s Secret scooped her up and recruited her to wear their lingerie and show her the good life….Fuck you Doutzen and your stupid name….

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Monster

2008

20

Nov

Sam Ronson is Watching You of the Day

Halloween was probably about 3 weeks ago, I’m not very good with dates, since everyday is the same hamster wheel for me, but I think it’s time for Samantha Ronson to take her death mask off. I guess it’s the late nights, the drugs and the drinking, the dealing with Lohan’s pussy and spending hours trying to lick it clean, a task even a person with all the stamina in the world would probably burn out from.

I feel sorry for this girl, you know dealing with a cunt like Lohan every fucking day. Child stars aren’t normal humans, they are needy, selfish and fucking dangerously insane, and to get emotionally involved with one, is probably a good way to get dangerously insane by association. You know, always being criticized and in her cunt shadow, and then getting dropped the second she decides she wants cock, which with Lohan, could happen any second, and in the entire mess, you don’t get a chance to enjoy your moment in the limelight, you know getting dolled up and putting make-up on to look your best, instead you get psychological abuse, and a face that looks like HIV ravaged it….because you’re up all night babysitting an unappreciative, overly dramatic peice of shit who takes herself too fucking seriously, is overly intense, and thinks her life is some kind of dramatic series that never got picked up by a studio, and that she’s the fuckin’ star of….if you know what I mean…and the good news is that it always ends in suicide..


BONUS THAT’S NOT REALLY A BONUS….

Speaking of Suicide – Did You Hear This Story About a Dude Who ODed on Xanax Like He Was Winona Ryder, and He Did it Live on Webcam?
GO

Posted in:Samantha Ronson|Scary

2008

20

Nov

Prince William’s Prince Penis of the Day

So the Prince was caught taking a pee and now you all know what his penis looks like. It’s one of those things you probably could have gone without seeing, but girls seem to find him a heart throb and that dick’s worth a whole long of money, that even you’d consider getting on all fours and letting the future king enter your throne. I don’t know Royal speak, I’m more of the court jester or toothless stable hand shoveling shit when not doing inappropriate things to the horses, but I do know a cock when I see one, even if that cock is more powerful than pretty much every other cock out there….not that the Royal family are all that powerful anymore, but this dude’s slated to be king and that’s a hell of a lot better title than regional sales manager you’re working up to at your call center…

On a side note, I love how he’s holding his cock with some contorted peace sign, or like he’s a dainty model holding a cigarette or some shit….I am more into the “no hands” style because it allows me to hold the stall walls around me so I don’t fall over because I have pretty shitty balance….

Either way, look at the pics, ya gay.

Posted in:Penis|Prince William

2008

20

Nov

Aubrey O’Day and the Shittest Upskirt Picture Ever of the Day

Someone emailed me this picture of Aubrey O’Day having an upskirt and flashing what I think are panties. Thanks for the fucking lead buddy, this has to be the shittiest upskirt pictue I have ever seen. Considering this girl is pretty much a fucking prostitute, you’d think we could get it in a little better quality, maybe even with a little pussy lip hanging out of her dog’s mouth. But instead, I get this shit. I don’t even know what the fuck I am lookin’ at, but I’ll post it anyway, because that’s how fucking lazy I am….

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Upskirt