I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Bff Gets Slammed of the Day

In totally uninteresting news, Paris Hilton’s New Bff got slammed in the car following Paris Hilton around. Sure, it’s not the way you’d expect anything remotely close to Paris Hilton to get slammed….but it’s still funny to see her get her leg slammed by the car door and seeing her hurt, because you’d figure competing to be Paris Hilton’s best friend would be a painful enough experience and leave you hanging from the attic rafters once you realize what you just won, even if getting paid to hang out with Paris is probably better than her previous job, but I know that no money in the world would convince me to spend time with Paris Hilton, unless that time was spend hurting her. I’m crazy like that and lying, because if she paid me 1,000 dollars a week, I’d fuckin’ be by her side every fucking time she called on me, defending her honor, but that’s only cuz I prostitute my integrity for drinking money pretty much all the time….

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton

2008

18

Dec

Buy Scarlett Johannson’s Used Kleenex of the Day

So Scarlett Johansson was on Leno, she claimed she had a cold she got from Samuel Jackson, and they decided to auction this shit….

Here’s the ebay discription:

During her 12/17/08 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Scarlett Johansson blamed her cold on The Spirit co-star Samuel L. Jackson, saying she caught it from him. She believed that for this reason her cold had some “value.” During her appearance on The Tonight Show, she blew her nose into a tissue provided by Jay Leno. All proceeds of this sale will benefit USA Harvest, the charity of Scarlett Johansson’s choice.

That’s a really weird fetish , because anyone buying anything Johansson is doing it for sexual reasons, especailly when they are paying 2000 dollars for a dirty fucking Kleenex and I don’t know how they are getting away with it because the one time I tried selling my wife’s soiled panties on ebacy, because shit was gross and I knew that some dudes out there like gross, and are willing to pay for gross, you know putting her crusty shit on standing in front of the mirror, or rubbing it on their faces so they can smell her dirty ass but for some reason ebay kept pulling my auctions and banned my account….

But when you are NBC and a celebrity, you can take your germ filled kleenex to ebay for some kind of publicity stunt, that is hyngeinically just as disgusting as my wife’s shit stains, and you know anyone paying 2,000 dollars for this is not going to be doing anything wholesome with this shit, they are probably planning on cloning her, because it is time to replace that sex doll with Johansson’s picture taped to its face, with a real Johansson….Weird Science.


Check out this weird auction. I am really hung the fuck over…
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Posted in:ebay|Scarlett Johansson|Used Kleenex

2008

18

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I went out drinking and it was pretty life changing. I made the mistake of bringing my wife and now my shit hole I call home is worse than it was 3 weeks ago.Covered in puke and making me sick….. Don’t worry about me, I am drunk…here are my links…I am too drunk to try to bother wriring somthing. True Story…..Good thing I am drunk…

Happy Birthday Little Adolf Hitler
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Danielle Lloyd’s Tits Can Only Get Her So Much
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It Figures a Homo Like Clark Kent Kept a Diary
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Spencer Pratts Sister is Ugly, But Has a Fine Rack
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Shake It To the Ground, Bring It Back Up
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The 9 Hottest Russian Women, EVER
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Sophia Webber Needs to Take Those Jeans All the Way Off
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Why Hello Cecila!
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You Can’t Say SANDWICH?! REALLY?
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Jennifer Aniston Really Needs to Let The Past Go
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Aubrey O’Day Becomes Bisexual for Attention
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The Only Thing Left for Jordan to Brand with Her Name is AIDS Medication
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Halle Berry Nip Slip
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Mickey Rourke is a Real Looker
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And That’s Why You Don’t Show Off in Your New Mustang
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Ashley Simpson is a Dog and Should Be Trained As Such
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Because Bars Just Don’t Cut It In the Ways of Getting Laid Anymore
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The Top Ten Sexiest Women of 2008
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Because I Know You Can’t Do This By Yourself
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Striptease of the Day
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More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
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The Ultimate Love Song, Because Your Life Isn’t Depressing Enough Already
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Kate Hudson Isn’t TRYING to Stay Single, She’s Just Using That As a Cover For Her Desperation
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Johnny Depp Can Fuck Any Women in the World, But He’s Banging This Ugly French Chick
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Mandy Musgrave is Kind of Hot in that Secretary Sort of Way
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More News on Lohan’s Stalker
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Bunnys Gotta Get Love Too
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Samantha By The Pool
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Toilet’s Really Do Have More Than One Use
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Gisele and Layla Celebrate the Holidays
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Brasilian Bikini Model Fight
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Who Doesn’t Like Having the Top Down?
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I Suppose We Can All Use an Extra Pair of Eyes
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I Dont Understand How Britney is Back If She is Looking For Disgusting Than Ever
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All the Single Ladies!!
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Make A Homemade Metal Detector
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The Us Government Hates Elizabeth Hasslebeck As Much As I Do
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SURVIVOR!!
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Playboy is Gonna Get Into Some Shit For This
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I Keep Watching This Fisting Video, So Here It Is Again
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More From the Victoria Secret Fashion Show
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The Naked Girls of PETA Over the Years
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Some Webcam Girl Shakes Her Ass
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Some Slut Dressed Like a Santa I’d Fuck From Behind
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

17

Dec

Natalie Martinez in Death Race: DVD Special Features of the Day

Natalie Martinez is not my sister, but I’d sure fuck her like she was. Some PR chick sent this out to me going off about how she’s the next Megan Fox and I got excited thinking she’d be poor, Mexican and covered in mud willing to sit on my dick for exposure, but it turns out she’s not Mexican but some Cuban who’s parents didn’t sink on their raft over hear and I guess that’s a good thing because she’s worth a round, even if she’ll never actually be famous with a name like Martinez, seriously bitch, they’ve got it out for us.

Now let’s just hope this PR chick jumps on my dick for posting this smut not because I can’t find anything better out there but because I like doing other people’s jobs for them for free because I am a fucking asshole who doesn’t know how to earn a living like all these other people….and I’m not complaining….because tonight is our office Christmas party, it’ll be sad and lonely since I’m the only one who works here, but I am totally going to fuck the secretary, and by secretary I mean the first girl I can unexpectedly creep up on…because we can’t afford secretaries here…

Here’s an old photoshoot of her when she was working as the face of J-Lo’s creatively named brand, J-Lo

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

17

Dec

Aubrey O’Day is a Bisexual of the Day


This just in….Aubrey O’Day is Bisexual and nobody cares because we’ve all seen this cry for attention in clubs first surface in the late 90s, you know chick on chick on the dance floor while the frat cheers them on like a bunch of horny virgins.

We already saw the picture of her kissing my internet girlfriend who really doesn’t satisfy any of my needs, and isn’t my internet girlfriend because she doesn’t know I exist or get naked on webcam for me, but who I call my internet girlfriend because I am a fan of her page on Facebook, and I like to creep the ladies out like that, Lydia Hearst and I guess that day was the day there was a little more discharge in O’Day’s panties than usual….and her only reasoning for it was that she was into pussy….

Either way, this story would be more scandalous if she released a video of her dog licking peanut butter off her cooch just to put that urban legend to rest and prove that living sex toys are better than the plastic ones you’ve been using with other chicks, as long as nobody finds out about it.


Here’s an old picture of a see-through shirt on an useless whore because I just fell into her attention cry….

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Bisexual

2008

17

Dec

Caroline Kennedy’s Daughter Does Facebook of the Day


Her name is Rose Schlossberg, she’s 20 and someone sent in these pictures claiming underage drinking and drug use. Now, I started drinking when I was 13 or 14 on a regular basis, by 20, I had already slept with hookers, beat up an ex girlfriend, got fired from at least 30 shitty jobs, burned through an insurance settlement I got as a passenger in a drunk driving accident and pretty much made a fool of myself, got in fights and had at least 40 one night stands, usually unprotected, with girls I wouldn’t like to admit I even spoke to, let alone licked their assholes.

I got out every weekened and 18 is legal here, which makes sense, since you can buy smokes at 18 and smoking and drinking go hand in hand, you can also gamble, move out from your parent’s control, have sex with other people who are over 18, vote and pay taxes, and sign their own permission slips for school, hire whores in Vegas, go to strip clubs and get charged as adults in prison, so why the fuck is your right to drink taken the fuck away from you from some conserverative Christian government in a dated bullshit law. The truth is that I am almost as mature as an 18 year old and I am pushing 40, so the difference between being 21 and 18 is pretty much not fuckin’ there. I figure that most people in the States realize how stupid this law is and buy their kids beer/booze and wine, and even if they are against their kids drinking, they can’t do shit about it.

So here are some pictures of Rose Schlossberg, Caroline Kennedy’s daughter drinking wine with her dyke friends and smoking a terrorist pipe that some college kids use as a bong and some terrorists use before crashing planes into building for Allah and the whole thing is hopefully going to be taken the fuck out of proportion, because you know if you want to represent your State in Senate, you should have a family that follows the law, especially when you’re high profile like the Kennedys, you know with her grandpa JFK who mingled with mobsters, slept with celebrities while, and supported communism, or her great grandpa who bootlegged liquor during the prohibition which in its time was the meth labs of today, but in her defense, she is a Kennedy and in being a Kennedy she’s got no choice but to be an Irish Booze Hound so here are some lame pics of her in lame action.

I hear after these shots were taken she went home to study for her political science she’s taking for fun, before hitting the sheets for 9 pm because she had a big day volunteering at the animal shelter the next day, because that’s the kind of wild girl she is. You can tell by the glasses, I don’t believe in that whole repressed girl letting her hair down myth, I’m a what you see is what you get kinda guy, but I guess I could be wrong.

Posted in:Caroline Kennedy|Drunk|Kennedy|Rose Schlossberg

2008

17

Dec

Rihanna’s Got Some Big New Tits of the Day

Looks like Christmas came early for Rihanna, or at least for Chris Brown, because it looks like she’s jacked her tits up a little to balance shit out with the rest of her body (ass). Sure she could be wearing straps, cups, external titty inserts and all that shit to give this illusion that I’ve seen one too many times in my life and unlike most guys, never got bothered by it. I figure since I have very little going on in my pants, life and wallet, they’re allowed to have little going on in their bra, just as long as there is a vagina for me to finger bang, and it doesn’t even have to be their vagina, it could be a friends or even my wife’s while thinking about them and I’m good.

The only time I got mad about this smoke and mirror shit is the light I spent chasing this motherfucker around all night because her tits looked good and she looked easy, only to realize 10 minutes into making out with her that the titties were nothing more than a stuffed bra, but the cock dicking in my leg was 100 percent real. I was already in too deep, the damage had been done, so I figured, might as well roll with this and see where this takes me, and let me tell you this much, it took me to a very dark place…

Not quite as dark as I imagine Rihanna’s nipples, but dark nevertheless, now stop reading (wishful thinking) and start staring, because when shit’s in picture, there’s no way for them to catch you creepin’ and police won’t be knockin at your door as a prime suspect in their death because they found DNA samples at the crime scene that match your DNA only to find out that “she was asking for it because she was wearing leather pants, a corest and was busting out of her shirt like a whore” doesn’t hold up in court….so in a lot of ways, these pictures save lives. Enjoy.

Posted in:cleavage|Rihanna|Tits

2008

17

Dec

Lindsay Lohan’s See Through Pants of the Day

I was with a friend of mine the other night getting drunk on the side of a busy street watching people go by while freezing our fucking asses off. I’d say that most of the girls who walked by us were in leggings or tights and my friend went nuts and not for the same reason I went nuts for them a few years ago, but because he is tired of them. Sure, he likes hot ass and pussy definition as much as the next guy, but shit just became too popular for him and it’s lost its appeal. A few years ago, you’d freak out when a girl would walk by in the shit and now, it’s expected and I guess he’s jaded, desensitized and needs more, kinda like how I feel about porn, and Lohan and her Lesbian ass are bringing it. I figure she’s a trendsetter and it’s just the natural progression of shit, you know slowly going see through, until eventually girls are walking around naked, and then my friend will get bored of that and have no choice but to accept the fact that he’s gay, because as far as I’m concerned the more girls in leggings the better and I can’t see myself ever getting bored of a socially accepted second layer of skin that allows me to perv out while girls think they’re just being casual…..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|See Through|Tights

2008

17

Dec

Katie Price Launches More Products of the Day

Seeing Katie Price in a pair of pajamas I’d expect a young mother to wear on Christmas morning is a little out of context, like the hooker selling bibles before you pay her to fuck her, because flannel loose fitting pants are pretty much never hot, always wholesome and something you’d expect your wife of 10 years to sleep in because you don’t have sex anymore, and not really something a girl who’s career is based on her retarded fake tits and slut behavior to be promoting, unless of course they come with lowkey dildo attachments, in which case shit’s genius, like a sleeper sleepwear that is all sex on the inside and all business on the outside, so the perfect gift for any slut you know who plans on spending time staying at a family or friend’s house and doesn’t want the people who’s house she’s staying at to judge her for the sexual deviant that she is when she walks down for her Pop tart and orange juice in a pair of chaps, a strap on and a gag mask.

Sure this post is weak, but so is Katie Price and whoever is backing her brand and producing this shit….and the real issue in all this is who the fuck is buying this trash allowing her to keep on making new shit….I just don’t get it, but then again, I don’t get much.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Sleepwear

2008

17

Dec

Natalie from The Facts of Life Is Still Relevant of the Day

Sure she was a fat teenage girl in the 80s when on The Facts of Life and has probably done very little since that job, but for some reason the Paparazzi still care. Clearly, they are desperate fucks who try to get any smut they can, even a “where are they now” of a girl who no one ever cared where she was when she was on TV, and the whole thing is pretty funny and that is why I am posting it. Even she doesn’t understand how fucking pathetic these pigs are….

On a side note, the site Hollywood.tv doesn’t post their videos on Youtube anymore for all to embed and make fun of. They were taken over by some scamming corporate site that’s trying to be TMZ called Buzznet, a company that owns a bunch of the blogs, like WWTDD, TheSuperficial and others, all the paparazzi agency sites and even a bunch of celebrity personal blogs like Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian, Some people from The Hills, and basically control, fabricate and distribute bullshit while making tons of money doing it and now Hollywood.tv has signed up with the devil, and their videos are all of a sudden “exclusive” and not free to embed and use….

Not that you care, but I think they’re all a bunch of assholes…and now I’ll be getting lawyers letters for posting their shit that was free the last 2 fucking years…money grubbing piece of shit motherfuckin’ assholes…..

Posted in:Mindy Cohn|Natalie|Where are they now