I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

07

Oct

Aubrey O’Day Loves Dogs of the Day

I am a dog lover, like Aubrey O’Day is, only a different kind of dog lover. I think dogs are cool and fun to be around and less annoying than people are because as long as you feed them they love you and everytime you come home from wherever you’v been, they act fucking insane like you’re very own groupie at the concert you are headlining that is your life. I don’t have a dog, but Aubrey O’Day does and she loves it in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. I find it abusive and reminiscent of Jon Benet Ramsey, the Dog Version. I’m talking doing it up the way you want it to be done up with crazy hair and make-up, touching it inapprorpiately, then killing it off the second something new and exciting comes along.

She reminds me of a friend I had when I was 11, who was clearly a pyschopath and was bound to do some pretty sick shit to people unless he got help, the kind of kid who would hunt squirrels and disect them and shit for fun and one day when at his house he wanted to show me something cool and took me to his basement with his dog, where he proceeded to make out with it, touching tongues and grabbing at its dick and shit and turned to me offering me a turn because it was good practice for when we get with real chicks, and instead of taking him up on it, I got the fuck out of there and didn’t speak to him again.

I guess the only thing better about these pictures of Aubrey O’Day dyking out with her dog is that I can distract myself with her tits.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Dogs

2008

07

Oct

Katy Perry’s Fat Cleavage of the Day

Katy Perry claims to be a DD bra size and I don’t believe it. What I do believe is that at one point in time she was a DD bra size, back when she was eating and before she got way too famous for her own good with her stupid fucking music that rapes my fucking soul every time I hear it, and with trying to live with herself and her new found money, she turned to cocaine instead of donuts. She already looks less fat than she was 2 weeks ago and as the weight disappears so will her fat chick tits, until she ends up on the street corner selling blowjobs to pay for crack, where she belongs. She is last weeks kitchen garbage and cleavage or not, I’m ready for her to disappear, which isn’t saying much, because I hated her the second I heard that song, but it is saying something.

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Posted in:cleavage|Katy Perry

2008

07

Oct

Kanye’s Love Lockdown Video Premiere of the Day

I may not know what Hip Hop is, but I do know that premiering your video on the Ellen Show is definitely not it. I know that Kanye is on some other level of being this mainstream phenomenon or some shit, but I am sure trying to tap into the housewives market is really not where anyone wants to be, unless of course you are a diaper or anti-depressant company or maybe a dude who is hurting from the loss of his own mother and hoping to find a stand in. Oh right.

Either way, this song is already a big deal, unfortunately, because that just fuels more Kanye ego and stupidities and on a side note, I went to his old DJ’s concert this past weekend because the dude is from Montreal and seems to think he’s fuckin’ Kanye West because he was his back-up man for one tour and was flirting with fat chicks, while getting retarded drunk and acting a fool on stage for his sold out audience. The fucker he didn’t even acknowledge me when we were next to each other and I said what’s up and on another side note, I punched a girl in her rib because she was acting up and it made me feel like a man. Watch the video.

Posted in:Kanye West|New Video

2008

07

Oct

Miley Cyrus at Sells Out for Her Sweet Sixteen of the Day

That’s right you kiss Minnie Mouse, you teenage whore, that bitch made you who you are today. If she asks you to lick her asshole you do it, if she asked you to fist her little mouse hole, you do it, if she asks you to sell tickets to celebrate your Sweet 16 with a bunch of fans you don’t give a fuck about, but you do give a fuck about your paycheck, you do it. If a man in a suit who says he’s a producer asks you to take off your pants, you do it. It’s the business baby, you’re just a pawn in it, making lots of other people rich and yourself famous, but remember you’ve got the last since you aren’t respecting your promise ring clause in your contract, but I don’t know if it counts if you breach that term and condition with the other signing party’s dick.

Either way, she’s 16 years old man, she’s a fucking baby and ripping her to shreds is going to do a whole lot of damage to her, so know that you, along with her parents, the people at Disney who are exploiting her and everyone else who hates her and thinks she’s a slut are responsible for the drug addiction and overdose her cards have lined up for her. Asshole.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Sweet 16

2008

07

Oct

Kristen Bell’s Uncensored Sex Scene from Forgetting Sarah Marshall of the Day

I hate Judd Apatow. I don’t know whether it’s because his movies suck and aren’t funny, but for some reason has convinced Hollywood that he’s fucking awesome and gets 10 movies a year, making him richer than most people for making garbage, when the rest of us don’t get paid shit for making garbage, unless you count the fact that if you leave it lingering long enough in your shit hole apartment, it starts to smell like dirty pussy, but as far as I am concerned that’s not payment. Or whether it’s because I think he’s a pedophile and after seeing his live show where a good 10 minutes was devoted to his daughter’s vagina, puberty, breasts and his movies are devoted to girls who look like they are 13 and who are put in sexual situations with Jewish guys like Seth Rogan who look 45. Or whether it’s because he casts ugly fucking chicks to be in all his fucking movies except for The Sarah Marshall one because it had Mila Kunis in it, and I don’t hold that against her, because we all need to get paid some day.

It also had Kristen Bell in it and these are the deleted sex scenes that weren’t censored properly, letting you see her pasty covered tits as she rides Russel Brand. Good times.

Posted in:Kristen Bell|Sarah Marshall

2008

07

Oct

Jodie Marsh Flashes Her Panties of the Day

Jodie Marsh is one of those Glamor Models from the UK that everyone writes about, despite not actually being anything worth writing about, but worth jerking off to for some people who are into that kind of big breasted, photoshoot thing, because they have big tits and look better in lingerie than your wife despite there being ample fucking porn out there to get you off instead, but I can’t tell you what to do to yourself or your penis.

The good news is that these Glamor Models don’t take their jobs too seriously and realize that they are just one dick in pussy on camera away from being pornstars, but have found a way to make it to that level of class or lack of class without having to go all the fucking way and degrating themselves. It’s all pretty funny, especially as they wobble out of bars like the drunken whores they are, to check out a random dudes dick and flash her panties, I don’t have the uncensored picture of the dude she’s checking out, mainly because I don’t really give a fuck, but I like to think that it’s damage control, because I don’t need to feel more responsible for furthering the confusion that is your sexuality when you get a boner from it, not knowing whether she’s turning you on, or the scenario is turning you on, or maybe even the cock is turning you on. We all know it’s the cock dude and I’m no therapist here, so I’ll just leave the shit boxed out.

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|Panty Flash

2008

07

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini From When She Was 14 Of the Day

I don’t know the legalities of posting a 14 year old in a bikini on a website, but I do know that parents are doing it all the time on FLICKR, Facebook and all the other photo sites and they aren’t getting in trouble for it, despite the fact that those images are coincidentally the ones with the most views and they so happen to pop up on other websites with the intent to make people masturbate, and none of those folks are getting in trouble, so I figure it’s okay to post these pics Kim Kardashian posted of herself to prove she didn’t have plastic surgery.

I have no idea where these plastic surgery rumors came from, I never heard them, mainly because bitch has a far from perfect face and is in pretty serious need of plastic surgery, and I have a feeling that is what was actually said, and Kardashian’s ego didn’t let her process the truth, like calling a fat girl fat and having her turn around and think you just complimented her or some shit because she’s in fucking denial.

Either way, she had some pretty big tits for a 14 year old. I blame the hormones in the food.

Bonus – Kim Kadashian and Her New Friend Cheryl Burke From Dancing With the Stars, I Haven’t Figured Out Who is More Desperate, But I am Going With Both of Them….

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2008

07

Oct

Lauren Conrad Has a Dad of the Day

It turns out that Lauren Conrad isn’t infact a robot that was built in some MTV lab, which I thought was her story up until today. I mean it would explain the fact that she agreed to sell her soul to the devil and sign on to The Hills and it would explain why she is far from perfect, because last time I beat up a kid for his Popular Mechanics magazine, we just didn’t have the technology yet, but then again, the last time I read Popular Mechanics was in the ’20s, in another life, when they had just invented the blimp and were talking about motorized buggies instead of using horses. I don’t know where I am going with this, but I do know that my computer has fucking AIDS and is a real bitch to deal with, probably a lot like Lauren Conrad was growing up, and this is the man to ask.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

07

Oct

N.E.R.D Has Make a Wish Foundation Retard Dancers of the Day

There was an N.E.R.D show in Montreal last week and my stepdaughter went to see them, because she, like every girl, thinks sleeping with Pharrell will get her to meet Justin Timberlake, while my other stepdaughter would be satisfied with just meeting Pharrell, and by meeting, I mean servicing backstage because they are social climbing sluts and I encourage that, even if Pharrell is dark skinned and that is against God’s way, he comes across as a pretty white black dude and despite having more hip hip hits under his trendy belt, he’s still pretty suburban lookin.

Anyway, they got some footage of his concert where a couple dudes were brought on stage, I know, already a little backwards if you ask me, then he gets them to be his backup dancers for his entire show, instead of hiring or even recruiting one of the many sluts from the crowd who were already dripping in their panties for him and would have given them something to masturbate to for the next year, but instead he chose this make a wish foundation retard mess.

Posted in:Dancers|N.E.R.D.|stepTV

2008

06

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

So in the bar this weekend, while drunk, I got to talking to some girl I never saw before. She told me she was in town meeting some guy she met online and when she got to the bus stop where she was supposed to meet him, she saw some really fat greasy dude who looked like he hadn’t got laid, but had been masturbating all day over the last 10 years, so she booked a hotel and ended up the bar I was at. So I knew bitch was desperate, but not desperate enough to compromise her integrity. We got to talking about all kinds of things from her kids and her job and I realized within a minute why she turned to the internet to find love, because there is no human out there who could stomach her fairy tale wants and her annoying voice and pretty much everything about her made me want to die, not to be dramatic or anything. I decided to try to have fun with her and I busted out a napkin and told her to show me what her pussy looked like by folding the paper, sure it was a weird request but I didn’t have any other art supplies with me and instead of her just giving up on the stupid vagina model idea, and pull down her pants like a normal girl would, she made a fucking origami bird and that’s when I wished her a good trip home and to watch out for creeps from the internet, seeing as I was a professional one, I felt it was my place.

Here are my links….

Dance Dance Dance Fall
GO

Wino is BReaking Down One Body Part at a Time
GO

Some Playboy Playmate from 2007 Gives You Losers Some First Date Tips
GO

Madeline Zima Has Hard Nipples
GO

Some Anna Kornikova is Always Nice
GO

Do Something Worthwhile Today That Doesn’t Involve Getting Out of Bed…But Does Involve Seeing Pussy and Telling it What to Do
GO

Tori Wilson is a WWE Slut
GO

Robots Can’t Act
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Watch All Day
GO

Let’s Get Sloppy
GO

Paul McCartney Is Making a Revenge Album
GO

OJ Simpson is Guilty. Wow, I Am so Shocked
GO

Finding Girls to Fuck Isn’t As Hard As You Think
GO

Girls Aloud Nip Slip
GO

Dina Lohan is Just Amazing
GO

Jessica Alba is Flashing Her Pubes
GO

Fuck I Thought I Ate Fast
GO

Finally, someone Who Understands How Much I Hate Exercising
GO

Tram Goes Way Out of Control
GO

I Forgive Salma Hayek For Ruining Her Vagina With a Baby, Because It Has Done Wonders For Her Chest
GO

Let’s Go to the Model Ball
GO

Why Hello Lindsay Marie
GO

Gina Caragano Can Fight Me Anytime
GO

Another Brick in the Wall
GO

Amateurs All the Way
GO

Paris Hilton Needs to Be Stopped From Reproducing
GO

Angelina Is Loking Good After Just Having Had Twins
GO

If Facebook Was Real Life
GO

Even When She’s Just Being a Mother, Kate Beckinsale is Tasty
GO

Jodie Marsh is Just Giving It Away
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Topless Fashion Show? I’m Into That
GO

Lipstick on a Pig. On Drugs
GO

Use this Spray to Get Laid
GO

Tina Fey Does Palin Once Again for the Presidential Debates. Amazing
GO

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING POSTED ON CRAIGSLIST EVER
GO

Adriana Lima Poses in a Magazine I Don’t Care to Know the Name Of
GO

Marta Enjoys the Coast While We Enjoy Marta
GO

Nicolette Sheridan is Lookin’ Good
GO

Lindsay and Paris Are Having a Cat Fight
GO

Let’s Look At Some Art, Since I know For The Most Part We Are Too Cultureless to Do So
GO

A Day in the Life of Mario
GO

I Think I Should Celebrity Box Michael Lohan
GO

Some Jenna Jameson and Brea Bennet
GO

Dance Like a Stripper
GO

Paris Hilton in Vegas for Her Sister’s Birthday
GO

Some Funny Lapdance Going Wrong Video
GO

Some Girl Gets Busted Masturbating
GO

Every Little Girl’s Dream is to Be a Pornstar….
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Old Skinny Bitch Acting Sexy With a Big Discolored Dildo
GO

From Vagina Shots to Cum Play This Album is Porn on a Mainstream Site
GO

Some Naked Chicks a Guy Claims are His Ex Girlfriends
GO

Ass Lover’s Album
GO

Some Girl Flashing Her Tits
GO

Use this Spray to Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS