I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

22

Aug

Jessica Simpson’s in Some Farmer’s Hat and a Bikini of the Day

Here’s Jessica Simpson continuing her obnoxious quest to be the next big thing in country by rockin’ some weathered farmers hat you’d see on a grandpa milkin’ cows or some shit, when the only cow around that needs milking is Jessica Simpson, but she’s in a bikini meaning that she hasn’t fully given up on her hollywood lifestyle.

The truth is that shit looks more like a bra at a teenage hot tub party and her face looks like she’s getting her fleshy pink shoe ravaged by the hot tub jets because there’s no man around to satisfy her since they are all scared to commit to her and that’s the kinda shit that turns me on.

Just last night I was talking to a girl about the best orgasm she had in her life and she went on and on about her shower head and the jet in a pool or a hot tub and it was nice to see that the men still don’t give a fuck about making their girls cum and that girls are still faking their shit to make their men happy, the way it’s supposed to be. None of this pussy satisfying their women shit I’ve read about in drugstore romance novels that is meant to remain total fantasy. Here’s Jessica.

Posted in:Bikini|Jessica Simpson

2008

22

Aug

Rihanna is Poor of the Day

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So people are saying that Rihanna is poor, but here are some pictures of her shopping and it looks like she’s managed to buy herself some pretty stupid fucking shoes/sandals/ hockey pads that I don’t fuckin’ understand but hate. I guess it’s possible that whatever company created this hideous invention gave them to her for free, but it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that people say despite being on the radio and in the club all the fuckin’ time, bitch is only worth 20,000 dollars

If that is true, she wouldn’t be the first black person exploited and the way I see it, is that she was just some slut in Barbados who was discovered and offered a shit deal. Possibly because there was no guarantee her shit would work and it was a risk, but the label wanted to give it a try or maybe they just knew she would sign because of where she was at, knowing that living in Barbados your real only high point would be playing the nightly resort show she was probably auditioning for when it went down.

So it’s one of those situations where she signs on to the first deal that comes her way, she figures it’s a dream come true, they offer her a million dollars as an advance but that has to be paid back to pay for costs like videos and CDs and shit, and she clears 20,000 dollars at the end of the whole thing, which is probably still double what her family makes back home not to mention she’s gets to live the celebrity high life and I guess you just can’t put a price on that.

She’s the kind of meal ticket all record labels dream of, you know the third world kind with low expectations, a person you can exploit and hire to work your plantation while you get richer and it’s just the way shit is and who really cares about her finances when you can watch her suck that Starbucks straw like it was your dick only your dick’s not quite that wide making getting pussy an embarrassing endeavor.

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Posted in:Poor|Rihanna

2008

22

Aug

Michael Phelps Mom is Naughty of the Day

So this picture was sent in by a reader claiming they were pictures of Michael Phelps, which I thought was surprising because I heard he was some awkward Jewish lookin’ kid with no friends who was found in a dumpster after being left they by his teenage mother at prom and was sent into some US military genetic program instead of an orphanage and was cross bread animals to make super humans or some shit, because winning the olympics for a competitive country that wants to be the best in the world on all fronts a priority and I beleived it because I have seen this fucker swim on TV at the bar and that shit is just not natural.

When I was growing up, the kids on the swim team were all these horny, half naked losers, the guys would constantly pop boners for the girls and the girls were always kinda fat and forced into it by there parents and it was some kind of perverse freakshow of a group that always smelled like chemicals and who were only accepted by each other, so I find the whole celebrating them now because they are on some Olympic global platform is just as lame as the kids who would go watch the swim meets on a Saturday beause they had nothing better to do with themselves. Swimming competitively has never been cool, swimming naked has always been cool and I find it annoying that all these useless sports are suddenly popular because you have some hero in the shit, doesn’t mean shit.

What I don’t find annoying is that Phelp’s mom lets men take pictures of her in her lingerie, not that this is actually her, but ya never know, it could be.

Posted in:Michael Phelps|Mom

2008

22

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

Girls in Canada are going all out because they know there’s about a week left of summer, so they are pullin’ all stops and wearing as little clothing as possible which makes raping them when they are wasted a whole lot easier, not that I would do that kind of thing. I couldn’t handle all the vagina around me, especially since the smoking ban in bars makes large groups of pantyless girls smell like one big vagina I want to fuck, so I went to the strip club. There were only 3 girls working, which I didn’t really get and I didn’t get a lap dance, but I did get to watch some whore who looked like a spy from the deep South Amerian Jungles using her perect real tits to get information, because she was talking to her reflection in a mirror for about 20 minutes, like she was communicating her information back home. When someone went to interrupt her for a dance, I am pretty sure she hissed at him like some kind of cat….but I could be wrong. The whole world’s going to shit and here are my links…

Luckiest Snowboarder Alive
GO

Sienna Miller Has a Fan Who Leaves Her Loving Messages on Her Wall…..
GO
House Bunnies Are Out of the Cage for a Night
GO

Move Over Sherlock Holmes, There’s a New Private Eye on the Case
GO

Some Whore From Big Brother UK Has an Upskirt
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

The Empire Strikes Back…In San Fransico
GO

Hello Helen Flanagan
GO

Vanessa Hudgens Short Dress Disgustingness….
GO

Natalie Martinez Is This Year’s Sexiest Latino
GO

The 5 Most Awkward Kool Aid Ads
GO

Spend Miley’s Birthday With Her for 250 Dollars…I am Thinking About Going….
GO

10 Hottest Celebrity Cat Fights
GO

Another 50 Hottest Olympians of 2008 Which is Funny Considering The Special Olympics Haven’t Hit and Those Chicks Can’t Say No…
GO

The 5 Most Annotying Things About NYC Public Transportation….
GO

MSN Emoticons That Never Made It
GO

This is Why I Am Never Going to Costa Rica
GO

Slut is in the Eye of the Beholder. It’s All How You Look at Things
GO

Fuck With Your Friends Via Instant Messanger
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Camera Man Blast Off
GO

Karla Spice Has One Bad Ass Ass
GO

Nikki Case Enjoys Some Time Poolside
GO

Some Bride Got Tasered at Her Own Wedding…
GO

Kimbo Slice Will Kick Your Ass!
GO

Poll Party Babes
GO

Tara is Beat Up
GO

Winona Ryder is Fucking Tom Green?
GO

BEAT DOWNS!!
GO

Britney Skye is Tasty
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Hollywood to Ruin Another Classic
GO

Whoa Relax, Super Fan
GO

Now THAT’S How You Catch a Ball
GO

Adriana Lima & Doutzen Kroes in Supermodel Obsessions Preview
GO

I Needs to Get me a Maid
GO

Charlize Theron, I Love You
GO

Young Jeezy, Shut the Fuck Up
GO

Camping with Lena
GO

Louise Glover Wants You to Play Pool With Her
GO

Everything Looks Amazing in Slow Mo
GO

Fuck You, Oprah….Why do I Love You So….
GO

Emmanelle Chriqui Short Dress!
GO

Train a Cat to Use a Toilet
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Chick Teasing With Her Tits
GO

Some Chocolate Milk Titties
GO

Some Young Pierced Nipple Titites….
GO

Some Artistic Nudes of Some Hot Amateur Models
GO

Some Montreal Chick I Haven’t Fucked But Should
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

21

Aug

Office Time Wasting of the Day

So people with jobs seem to never really work, I remember when I was working at a factory I would sit around all day talking to the other workers about pussy, doing the bare minimum amount of work collectively to keep the boss’ expectations low as fuck making our days go by slow as fuck and our productivity down to nothing because you get what you pay for you abusive cocksucker who was throwing 5 dollars an hour at our immigrant asses…

This is a video a reader sent in where he bet a dude at work 50 dollars that he couldn’t eat this weird mutant beetle they found. I figured this is probably a funnier video for the people involved or who know the guy like “hey look, I know that guy, he’s a fuckin’ idiot, I bet he doesn’t do it” kinda thing, but it’s a slow day and figured why not celebrate wasting the boss’ money and keeping productivity to a bare minimum by eating insects…while visiting this site.

Plus he only had 100 views and that kind of shit is bad for someone’s self-esteem when they think they’ve produced gold.

Posted in:Beetle Eating|Office Humor

2008

21

Aug

Shawn Johnson Olympic Muscular Bitch of the Day

Nothing says sexy like an Olympic Gold medal athlete flexing her muscles in her bikini….These are some personal pictures of some athlete named Shawn Johnson and if you find muscular chicks like this in anyway, I hate to break it to you, but you are gay.

If you think that’s just the obvious thing to say, I have evidence that being turned on by girls with muscles leads you to homosexuality because I used to hang with this sister named Ted and we’d go to the strippers about once a week and everytime we were there he’d get a lap dance from this girl who was a bodybuilder during the day and competed and shit.

She’d get on stage and do chin ups on the bar and push ups all while flexing her greased up shit. Everyone would cheer her on cuz of the novelty, but Teddy would just stare at her with his big eyes and boner, and would always be the first and only guy to get a lap dance with her who wasn’t a victim of an asshole friend’s prank that he couldn’t get out of…..

Either way, muscles or not you are and always have been gay for me and I appreciate that considering how busted I am…

Here’s Shawn Johnson, she’s a gymnast and she’s 16 ya pervert….ya gay pervert…

Posted in:Muscles|Olympic|Shawn Johnson

2008

21

Aug

Resse Witherspoon is a Fat Jogger of the Day

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I spend my days watching people jog past me because it makes me feel like I am working out without actually having to get off my ass, it is some kind of projection shit and more often than not, the girls I have seen run by me daily for more than the last 5 years are not slim, fit or someone I’d want to fuck. They are dumpy, big assed, moms types and they just keep on doing it despite it having no effect on their bodies. People tell me to imagine what they would look like if they didn’t work out, even though I don’t want to imagine them when they do work out, but implying that they would otherwise be obese and maybe that’s true, but what’s also true is that if you put energy into something and it doesn’t work out for you, you half to find it in yourself to give the fuck up. It’s a quitter menality, but I just think it’s being realistic.

Here are some pictures of Reese Witherspoon showing off her pudgy little mom body jogging as she always fucking does because she’s trying to fight her Fat Southern Wal Mart clerk gene, so as you look at these you can imagine her if she didn’t work out, or you could do what I do and imagine Ryan Phillippe busting nut in her 3 times to knock her up, because you find him so fucking dreamy…..

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Posted in:Fat|Jogging|Reese Witherspoon

2008

21

Aug

Kellie Pickler’s Personal Pictures of the Day

Last I heard of Kellie Pickler she was on American Idol talking about her grandfather who both raised her and had sex with her because that’s how they do things in the small down they are from. Pussy is limited so when you make one of your own, you got every right to do as you please with it, I am not sure if that was her exact quote because I was watching the shit on mute cuz I couldn’t stomach her twang and inbred level of intelligence.

I almost feel bad saying that because the truth is that everyone busts inbred people for being retarded or handicapped or whatever just because their parents are related, but I went to school with a set of ibred people, who’s parents were cousins and both kids, despite being weird lookin’, did really well in school. Maybe it was cuz they were first generation and not a line of inbred people like Pickler, but I think her retardedness stems from other things, like dropping out of school at the age of 8 to tend to the farm and by farm I mean grandpa’s dick.

Either way, these are some pictures of her sluttin out in some personal pics with the tits she always wanted and bought with her American Idol money. It’s nice to see dreams can come true.

Posted in:Bikini Tits|Candid|Kellie Pickler|Myspace Pictures

2008

21

Aug

Jessica Simpson Does an Ad For Vitamin Beer of the Day

So everyone is writing about this Jessica Simpson promoting beer to help relate to the common country folk she’s trying to seduce with this whole new country image because she realizes being a tired popstar isn’t as lucrative as being the next Dolly Parton, when we all know that Jessica Simpson’s drug of choice is poppin’ diet pills because she just wants to be skinny enough for someone to marry her and have babies with her so that she can be like her little sister.

I also think it’s funny that she went with a beer named Stampede to further solidfy just how country she is, because nothing says I jerk off bulls in my spare time and sell their sperm like a beer called Stamede. I hear her next move in getting in with the hicks is to sell her luxury cars and start riding a horse everywhere she goes.

And the real joke in all this is that the beer is charged with Vitamins, like some kind of snake oil Hollywood Atkins Low Carb bullshit to make drinking beer more guilt-free, when the truth is that beer is the reason I am pushing 300 pounds, it is the gateway drink to full blown alcoholism and is more fattening that drinking a fuckin’ milkshake, so whether shit’s got vitamins in it or not, or you piss fluorescent yellow or not, before long you’ll be headed to the hard stuff because none of your pants fit anymore, and drunk on whiskey happens faster than drunk on beer, making not wearing pants in public feel like it’s ok.

This is her quote featured in the ad and written by her dad because he jumps and any chance he gets to write about Jessica drunk and tight bodied…unfortunately a body they kept cover up to seduce the conservative backwoods people she wants to sell albums to. It’s all part of the master plan.

I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made a smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede Light, it’s beer plus.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

21

Aug

Daveigh Chase Then and Now of the Day

If you’re wondering what happened to the Voice of Lilo from Lilo and Stitch that you used to jerk off to when you were going through that whole Disney Cartoons are Like Porn to me phase, here’s your answer. Her name is Daveigh Chase, she’s 18, I’ve never heard of her but she is some child star who is still in the industry because she’s pretty much still a child, but a legal child, the kind you can fuck without fear of prison…

Speaking of 18 year olds, I just ran into some 50 year old woman who thought she was 18. From behind he had a really fucking tight body, like nothing about that body looked like it was anything older than 18. She was wearing trendy clothes and had big hair and I just assumed she was product of some rich guy, well I was partially right, because she was obviously married to a rich guy who invested some serious money into her because when she turned around it was like I was looking at the fucking devil, with some haggard lookin’ plastic surgery raped face and those perky tits where obvious implants, but that body was so tight, she must really send a lot of time fuckin’ her personal trainer. That has nothing to do with Daveigh Chase, on her hot skinny body, but I wanted to remember that story for future masturbation, and since this is my personal blog, I’m allowed.

Posted in:Daveigh Chase|Hot