I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

15

Sep

Jennifer Lopez Did a Triathlon of the Day

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The biggest assed joke of the day is that a fat Jennifer Lopez did some triathlon like she’s some kind of athlete for a charity that I call trying to prove herself. She took about 2.5 hours to complete it and she had some help from her trainer, who based on her ass, isn’t the kind of trainer I’d hire for my wife if I was rich and famous, mainly because if I was rich and famous, I’d drop my wife off at the curb and move onto younger hotter pussy, but also because dude’s obviously not very good at his job. Sure you can argue that her ass is genetic and that it’s some beautiful phenomenon that you love, but I like to think it’s cuz you have no standards and no real opinion of your own and you just jumped on the bandwagon, because the only person who would find anything about this hot is a black man and that’s just because they like any pussy that isn’t attached to a black woman, no matter how offensive it is, proven in the fact that I was out with my wife this weekend and at least 5 black guys freaked out, in a good way when she walked by, to the point where I had to turn to them and ask them if they were on fuckin’ drugs because cat calling a cow, confuses me so much that it’s gotta be drug related….

Either way, here she is being active because it’s funny.

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Posted in:Athlete|J.Lo|Jennifer Lopez

2008

15

Sep

Lohan Hit the Paparazzi of the Day

Lohan punched a paparazzi in the face and everyone is making a big deal out of the shit. They don’t realize that she didn’t do it because she hates the paparazzi because they are invading her personal space or tripping her at events by cluttering her, she actually likes the paparazzi and considers them her friends and a huge part of her marketing campaign that’s why she always tips them off as to where she is going to be. She did it because she’s a fucking lesbian now, or at least pretending to be a lesbian, and she just finished reading the chapter on hating all things with a dick and doing everything you can to destroy all things with a dick in her lesbian training manual. She she’s just trying to stand her tough guy stance and she’s doing it by straight punches to faces. It’s nice to see that lesbianism hasn’t made her an angry little rat of a person, and that she’s finally at peace now that she’s found herself. I figure all she needs is a good dickin’, like some seriously hardcore fuckin sex to bring her back to that calm, drug addicted Lohan we all loved. I am sure you can relate to the frustration she’s feeling, considering you’ve spent the last couple of years trying to find ways to masturbate that simulates the sex you once had, knowing all the while that it just doesn’t feel the same as doing the real deal. I give Lohan a few more fights before she finally caves in and goes back to cock while Ronson stands on the sidelines upset that her firm controlling grip got loose….

Either way, I hope I get invited to the wedding.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Paparazzi

2008

15

Sep

Brooke Hogan in a Bikini of the Day

Brooke Hogan is showing off her big fake tits in her bikini and I guess despite hating Brooke Hogan’s masculinity and her broad shoulders and trashy rich north Florida upbringing, I have to say she doesn’t look as bad as she has in the past, proving that all it takes to make your dressing like a chick more believable isn’t about how proper you tuck your cock in, but how big your fake tits are, because the bigger the tits, the less broad your shoulders look, making the only real complicated thing about being a woman in a man’s body is explaining to your mother why all of her lingerie is stretched out and to the random men you bring home, why you have a penis…..cuz from what I’ve been told, that kind of deception gets trannies killed. True story.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

15

Sep

Hayden Panettiere Kissing a Co-Star of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Hayden kissing some gimpy dude with a big nose who has to be Jewish on set of something she’s filming. Shit reminds me of a t gay experience that happened a couple of days ago. I was on the bus, exhausted and past the fuck out. I woke up leaning on the shoulder of some brown dude who was sitting next to me, I looked at him, he smiled, I apologized and he stroked my hair with his hand and said “anytime”. It was a little awkward and I got off at the next stop, even though it wasn’t my stop and I am hoping that’s the last time I see that dude, like I am hoping this is the gateway to seeing Hayden shoving her dick in a gay dude, not because I am into Gay porn, but because I want proof that this bitch doesn’t own a pussy.

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Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Kissing

2008

15

Sep

Brad Garrett on Fox & Friends After the Show of the Day

Here’s a video I am posting because it defends the kind of comedy I like to think I do. I make fun of everything and everyone gets all uptight about the shit and it’s annoying because it is just jokes and all those people don’t have a sense of humor. I am not saying that I am actually funny, but I am saying that I don’t mean to hurt all your little sensitive feelings when I am an asshole.

The other reason I am posting this is because the whole sitcom world takes seemingly talented or at least funny comedians, who at one time were innovative or at least interesting to listen to because they didn’t give a fuck, but sell out for lots of money, making them look like pussies to the rest of the world annoying us via our televisions without ever knowing what they did before they got the gig as Ray’s brother and even after seeing him in action, won’t go back to his old stuff, but I do know that dude ruined himself by not selling out in a way to retain his street cred. I guess he’s got the last laugh because of his huge bank account and shit, but I still think that kind of oppression on someone’s creativity is depressing and another reason why Hollywood ruins lives. Enjoy.

Posted in:Brad Garret|Comedy|Fox & Friends

2008

15

Sep

Serial Killer Love Song of the Day

You know the world doesn’t have enough Serial Killer Love songs. Here’s a little Charles Manson song to pick up your spirits, just try not to think about the pregnant woman he brutally murdered when you slow dance to this shit with your pillow, pretending it was a woman to hold because you know one day, it just might be one. There are a lot of horny desperate older ladies out there lookin’ for a guy just like you, you just have to put yourself out there. I believe in you.

Posted in:Charles Manson|Love Song.

2008

15

Sep

Kim Kardashians’ Funny Facebook Ad of the Day

So this Laura’s Weight Loss site is using Kim Kardashian’s image on their site to promote some weight loss program. Now I don’t know much about marketing and advertising and shit, but I do know that she’s better suited for a chocolate bar company, because let’s face it, if you want a Kim Kardashian body, all you have to do is sit on your couch and start eating.

Having her promoting a diet, is like hiring Magic Johnson to promote condoms, Lindsay Lohan to promote Abstinence, Amy Winehouse to promote sobriety, Jennier Lopez to promote music school, you get what I am saying…..

Posted in:Ad|Kim Kardashian

2008

15

Sep

Some Tommy Lee Lame Drum Solo from the 80s of the Day

I am going to admit that I am not feeling up to the job today, the thought of lookin at pictures of celebrity chicks and writing my stories to them seems fuckin’ boring as shit, but I’ll shape up in the next few minutes, but in the meantime, how about watching this Tommy Lee solo because despite all the cheesy, fake tit, groupie pussy he gets he’s still a fuckin’ loser attention craving drummer in the back of the stage trying to get a little of the glory the rest of the band was getting and that insecurity and really lame execution of a desperate cry makes me feel better than I did about 6 minutes and 41 seconds ago. Enjoy.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

14

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

Yeah, Yeah…here are my links. Stop emailing me about them. Some of us have important things to do away from our computers on weekends, like find the source of all the bugs crawling around my apartment and following big scary black guys with pot leaves on the back of their jackets into the back alley by my house out of curiosity to see what they are up to back there and not being met with the warm welcome I expected….I kinda slacked this past week, I think I’ll try a little harder this upcoming week, like actually read my emails. I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Love.

Dear Pete WEntz: Die.
GO

Star Hour Takes Two Negatives and Makes a Positive
GO

Danielle Llyod, You Big Ball of Class
GO

Elizabeth Hurley Tits
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Watch All Day
GO

The Hottest Political Pundits , and By Pundits, I Mean Sluts
GO

Bikini Bagpipes
GO

Kim Smith is Lazing About
GO

Here’s the Video of Kanya West Throwing a Tempur Tantrum
GO

Honestly I Miss the Crazy, Panty and Vagina Flashing Britney, So Here’s a Throwback
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Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Look Completelt Disgusting at Some Event or Another
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Sex or Yoga
GO

Ahhhh Gymnastic Mishaps
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Your Friday Night Entertainment
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Who Says Romance is Dead?
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Amy Winehouse is Getting it Together
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Second Trailer for the Quantum of Solace
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Fat Man Breaks the Xerox
GO

Here’s Some More About That Girl Who is Auctioning Off Her Virginity
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The Ten Hottest Sets of Twins Ever
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Who’s That in a Purple Dress
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Nothing Like a Good Old Baseball Fight
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Group Showers Are Where It’s At
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Why Hello Chloe Jones
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The Lovely Asgrid is Hotter Then Her Name Lets On
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Trailer for Changeling
GO

Because We All Know You’re a Virgin Anyways
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Fuck You Jack in the Box
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More Proof You Don’t Need Brains to Write a Book
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More From Madonna’s Dry and Sour Tour
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And MORE From Madonna’s Dry and Sour Tour – This Time With More Steroids
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Kim Mardashian is a Model for Safety
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Striptease of the Day
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Whoaaa…Relax There, Road Rage
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I Guess She Forgot to Lock the Door
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Sophie Monk Wears Bikini Top; Can Ride Bike
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Beer Goggles and You
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Gabriela Vergara Can Make Me Coffee Anytime
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Danny Lynn Birkhead = Not Dead Yet
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Ron White Likes to Get High, Motherfucker!
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Now That’s What I Call a Red Carpet Dreess.
PS: Is This a Tranny?
GO

Post It Note Experiment
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Red Head Rosalia
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Pam Anderson is Just Plain Crazy
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

12

Sep

How About Some Winonna Ryder Legs of the Day

I figure these will be the last pictures I post this week, because like Winona Ryder, I am old, tired and have nothing to offer the world but am just happy that at one point in time people liked me enough to give me work to fill up my bank account enough to carry me through the rest of my life, except for the whole being happy that at one point in time people liked me enough to give me work to fill up my bank account enough to carry me through the rest of my life part, because I am poor.

I never found Winona hot. I didn’t care when she got arrested for shoplifting, I didn’t care when I realized she had bigger tits than I thought she did, and I don’t care now, but I will post her legs because I know at least one of you cares because you have a hard time moving on….

Posted in:Legs|Winonna Ryder