I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Aug

Audrina and Heidi Montag are Fake Friends of the Day

I hate The Hills. I have never watched it and will never watch it, but doing this site forces me to know what the cunts on the show are up to. I figure if I wanted to watch a group of ugly rich kids complaining about their scripted, obvious and boring lives, I’d just go to the Starbucks down the street, at least that way I can follow the whores home and rape some sense into them, when I am pretty much at a lost when it comes to teaching these MTV bitches a lesson, since they are too big of a deal to be accessible for some fat dude in Canada.

The real issue with their fame is that it’s really got nothing to do with them, and a lot to do with you and the people you know. You cocksuckers are watching their shit, talking about the shit, buying the DVDs of the shit, inflating their whore egos and giving MTV no choice but to continue writing the garbage that rapes the minds of everyone who watches it.

The only thing remotely interesting about the show is that it’s on some Truman Show level, where they have pretty much sold out their lives to play their part all the fucking time, so that they don’t slip up on the continuity of the story, and the lies they are living are going to become their reality so when the show is cancelled and they realize that they can’t survive in real life because they don’t know who they really are and have no identity and will never be able to live down the cunts they play like they are Gary Coleman or some shit and can’t quite figure out why the rest of the world acts so differently than they did when they were on the show only and the only escape is suicide.

Either way, here’s two girls from The Hills showing the world how full of shit they are in this fake interraction that pisses me off….

BONUS – Some Audrina Bikini Pictures from Last Week Because It Makes Her Body Makes Her Face Less Offensive….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Fake|Heidi Montag

2008

04

Aug

Peaches Geldof Shows Some Panty of the Day

I was walking in a tourist part of town yesterday in hopes of finding some teenage runaways who didn’t know anyone and were looking for someone to show them around and would pay me for my services by having lesbian sex with each other while I fingered by ass. I figured it was a bit of a fantasy, but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head and figured you never know unless you try. I was thinking that in a worst case, some people would mistake me for a local homeless busker and would throw some money my way that I could use to buy myself something special, like a beer. It didn’t work, but I did get to see a group of hot big breasted girls on a four person bike riding around, and all of them were wearing skirts and none of them realized that as they pedaled I could see their vaginas. Sure 3 of the 4 had underwear on, but one bare vagina in 4 isn’t bad and even seeing teenage panties being unsuspectingly flashed to the world but more importantly to me, makes a hungover sunday a better one.

These are some pictures of drug addict, reality star, rich kid from the UK named Peaches Geldof showing her panties when she is getting out of a car, they are are from a couple of days ago, but I needed them to tell my magical story that is going to be the main focus of a Children’s book I am working on.

where everyone visiting this shitty city

Posted in:Panties|Peaches Geldof|Upskirt

2008

04

Aug

Miley Cyrus Shows Her Cooch To her Teenage Fans of the Day

This is kinda perverted of me to post because she’s 12 and despite being a 12 year old who is obviously a slut and who is probably having sex, and if she isn’t having sex, than she’s definitely sucking dick and probably pulling the same shit this girl I used to date when I was 14 would pull on me and let me stick it in her ass because she wanted to stay a virgin, a dream now but one that came at a time that I was too young to appreciate the beauty of anal sex and I just wanted to fuck a vagina, but I am not the wardrobe dude or the guy at Disney who told Miley to wear a skirt short enough for the front row of her performance because important people were sitting in the front row. I am talking about perverted producers who have been allocating lots of money into the Miley Cyrus empire and who haven’t even had a one on one session with her yet because her handlers don’t want to give them what they want and end the money train, but instead string them along like an amateur teen model site that never shows the girl’s vagina because they know we keep coming back for more in hopes of seeing it.

Either way, she wore a short skirt at some performance, and you can make something out of her crotch in these pics, but not as much as you’d probably like, but that’s just because you’ll only be happy when you see your pathetic dick up in this.

Bonus – Some More of her Personal Cellphone Pics….

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Performance|Upskirt

2008

04

Aug

Cindy Crawford Rock’s a Bikini on a Yacht of the Day

I just woke up, it’s noon, and I realize that my life isn’t as bad as yours when it comes to being able to be lazy, since I don’t have to wake up or deal with some bosses shit all day as he makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit, caged and slaving for an hour lunch break to remind me what freedom feels like before going back to do my bullshit job for an unappreciative boss who is exploiting me.

The only issue with not working is that I don’t have a lot of money to do the things I want to do, even though everyone I know with jobs are almost as broke as me because they have to fuel their depression by buying useless things. But I guess I’d like to spend a weekend on George Clooney’s yacht like I was Cindy Crawford, because I always wanted to have a black man stand outside my shower to hand me towels because I find pickin’ the shit up for myself demeaning and too labor intensive and my life won’t be complete. I understand why my wife makes me wipe her ass and it’s not for medical reasons, or because she’s lazy, it’s because behind all her poor white trash ways, she’s got the same needs as a classy chick.

Either way, my life is still shitty even though I don’t have a job, but because I have a disgusting wife and on this Monday morning, Cindy Crawford has done a good job reminding me that as she she lives large with her hot 40 year old body.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

04

Aug

Katie Holmes and Her Hard Nipples of the Day

I was at a friend’s house watching Punk’d as I like to do on my weekends because Ashton Kutcher is so dreamy in his coked-up rampage that reminds me of everything I hate at college frat parties and Katie Holmes was the victim. I don’t remember what happened because shit was on in the background but I do know that she was a lot hotter back then. She was someone a lot of guys wanted to fuck in those days and even though I never watched Dawson’s Creek because I have a penis, I did see that movie where she was raped and killed and naked and I felt like the dude responsible deserved a high five, because all the girls I’ve raped have been ugly.

Either way, she really had something goin’ on that has been stolen from her by Tom Cruise and his cult and when I see her hard nipples all I see is an impressionable girl who could have been molded into anything but Scientology got to her before drug addiction and a life in porn did and that makes me sad. She’s like a fallin’ soldier who had so much potential to make me cum, but took the wrong wholesome turn.

Here are her nipples.

Posted in:Katie Holmes

2008

02

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

It’s just one of those days where I am hungover and forget everything that I was in the mood to write about last night when drunk. I guess this is writer’s block but it’s probably got more to do with not being able to get the hot crazy chick who was wearing her snow suit that smelled like piss last night. We really hit it off for the first 3 minutes before she started screaming at the top of her lungs and punching herself in the head and breaking random things…it was lots of fun until the police came and started questioning me and didn’t believe me when I said I was just watching the show and took me into their car for further questioning because I guess I look like a crazy person’s handler. I didn’t get arrested.

When Webcam Meets Girls Who Have Bills Life Suddenly Becomes Better….
GO

Trash From Jersey Makes Guido Beach is Fucking Amazing….So Do the Fake Tits and Sluts….
GO

Arabian Tow Truck
GO

Thank God For Victoria’s Secret
GO

Britney Spears – Too Stupid for Life
GO

Peaches Geldof (You Know, That Slut Who Od’ed Last Week) Panty Upskirt
GO

Sexual Phrases YOU Need to Know – Japan Edition
GO

Which New York Boobs are the Best New York Boobs…
GO

The 10 Hottest Nipple Licking Topless Scenes….
GO

Rumer Willis is a Monster in a Tube Top
GO

Hot Drunk Girls Kissing Gallery
GO

Sara Varone is Your Fantasy
GO

Wheel of Fortune Asshol
GO

If Ed Westwick is Straight….
GO

Audrina Seduces Celebirty Blogs by Giving Them Shout Outs While Looking Like She’s a Retard….Like a Serious Retard…The Kind You Find In an Institution Retard…And Not Just an Idiot Retard…
GO

Cheerleader Smackdown
GO

Eva Mendes Hotness
GO

Audrina Seduces Celebirty Blogs by Giving Them Shout Outs While Looking Like She’s a Retard….Like a Serious Retard…The Kind You Find In an Institution Retard…And Not Just an Idiot Retard…
GO

Ultimate Cheapshot – VIDEO
GO

Hanging Out Poolside Has Never Been So Much Fun
GO

Lezzies Get Down!!
GO

Salma Hayek and Her Billionaire Titties
GO

Hooters Sluts Get Their Dance On
GO

Now That’s What I Call a Set of Tits
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, Because Sex Isnt Really Sex If You’re By Yourself
GO

This Guido Thing is Getting Out of Hand
GO

It’s Official!! Casting for the Joker in the Next Batman Confirmed!!
GO

Beyonce Looks Kind of HOt When Shes Not Done Up Like a Tranny
GO

Snnop Dogs Tour Busted For – Wait For It – Marijuana Possession
GO

This Sunday is the Most Important Day of You Life
GO

God I Love Amateurs
GO

Tailor James Strips Down
GO

Now That’s What I Call a Tight Ass
GO

Crack WHore Porno
GO

Use This to Get Sex and Stop Staying Home Alone
GO

Fuck YOu Google
GO

Adriana Lima Hotness
GO

Trailer for the NEw Wolfenstein Game
GO

Why Are Beer Ads Always so Awesome
GO

Alejandra Maglietti is Fully Bangable
GO

Hayden Did a Striptease
GO

More of Salma Hayeks Pregnant Tits
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Welcome to Hell
GO

NES Band Dorks That I Am Sure You Can Relate To
GO

Sega Beijing ’08
GO

Amber Heard Is Sexy
GO

Paint a Star Wars Poster
GO

The Mexican Abortion
GO

Some Israeli Celeb Playing Around With Her Friends in Her Bikini
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Chicks in Bras and Shit
GO

Some Retarded Fake Tits and Silver Pants at Some Kind of Party
GO

Some Girl and Her Big Tits Crawling Around in Her Underwear…
GO

Miami Slut Shows Off her Big Fake Tits
GO

PORN REVIEWS….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

01

Aug

Serena Williams See Through Photoshoot Nightmare of the Day

Here are some pictures from God knows when, because no one in their right mind would intentionally remember the day this went down, it’s one of those things you block out and pretend never happened, like the time I got raped in an alley when I was drunk, I didn’t realize until I found blood in my underwear and had to go to the hosipital because I thought I had ebola and my insides were dripping out of me, something Serena Williams knows far too much about, because her vagina is an anus, in all fairness, they did do a pretty solid job tuckin’ in her junk, I hear she likes using duct tape the best….what can’t that shit do…..

Posted in:Photoshoot|See Through|Serena Williams

2008

01

Aug

Fergie in Leather Pants for Slash’s Birthday a Couple Weeks Ago of the Day


Here are some pictures of Fergie sweating as she celebrates Slash’s birthday by rockin’ leather pants and pretending she’s a fucking rockstar. I heard that these are a couple of weeks old and figured since I am old and tired and that I don’t really give a fuck about celebrities and what they are up to, it was only fitting to throw these up.

Now I don’t find Fergie hot, and I don’t really think seeing her sweating is something that would turn anyone on and if anything is kinda disgusting because I am old school and believe that when a woman sweats she’s a fucking sloppy pig and not someone I’d want to get naked. I remember when I used to steal clothes from the Laundromat, there was this really amazingly hot girl who I’d prey on because she’d go in, drop off her shit then fuck off for an hour, giving me a lot of time to get down to business. I remember taking some lacey shirt that I thought would feel amazing against my balls, and when I got into the bathroom, I noticed these yellow fuckin’ stains on the arm pitts, shit threw off my game, but I still managed to cum all over it and throw it back into the dryer before she got back to pick it up. Yeah, my life is pretty sad.

Posted in:Fergie|Leather Pants|Slash

2008

01

Aug

Kristen Bell and a Mailbox of the Day

I am not posting these pictures of Kristen Bell because she’s hot, because I don’t think she’s hot. I am posting them because I have a post office story and I thought these were fitting.

I went to the post office yesterday to pick up some sex toy that was sent to me and that I will never use because my wife doesn’t meet the weight requirements and because the last thing I want to do is see my wife sitting on an inflatable hot seat (google it), but it was sent to me for free and I take everything I can get.

So I walk into the post office, no one else is in the place, and the guy working looks me up and down, smiles and lets out the biggest fart I had heard since earlier that day when my wife was taking a shit and I couldn’t get the volume on the computer loud enough to block it out.

So as dudes farting and serving me at the same time, like it’s not a big fucking deal, I realize that he’s only farting in front of me because I look homeless and don’t deserve the respect of someone that he wouldn’t fart in front of and the whole thing depressed me, but probably not as much as these pics of Kristen Bell will depress you because she’s not naked in them.

Posted in:Kristen Bell|Mailbox

2008

01

Aug

Kim Kardashian Eating Ice Cream of the Day

Kim Kardashian is maintaining her obesity that’s made her desirable to perverts everywhere by eating ice cream. She’s broken down all the stereotypes that you need an eating disorder to get guys horny, one burger at a time. I find the whole thing a disgusting mess, but that’s only because I live with the pain and suffering caused by obesity and I’d hate her to give girls the wrong idea, that it’s okay to feed their emotional eating, but the sad truth is that not all girls will gain weight the same way as this pig. I guess none of that matters and what does matter is that getting off to these pics of a whore eating ice cream is a lot less dangerous than getting off to girls eating ice cream outside your local ice cream shop, mainly because Kim Kardashian isn’t 7.

Posted in:Ice Cream|Kim Kardashian