I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

23

Jun

Lisa Rinna Bikini Pics of the Day

I just walked behind an 18 or 19 year old girl who was running her mouth off to her friend about how much she masturbates and how she likes it when her boyfriend cums in her without realizing there were people around her, like most obnoxious motherfuckers who think the world revolves around them and the street is as private as their bedroom since they don’t know the random fuckers around them, but the unfortunate thing about that is that despite not caring about what everyone around them thinks, they don’t bother getting completely naked in public for me to masturbate and cum inside my belly button and they just air their dirty laundry and gossip for all to hear and for no one to care about, and up until today, girls on cell phone conversations never interested me and really just made me want to punch them in their pretty made up faces.

Either way, I hear this cum and masturbate talk coming out of this girl and I start picking up the pace to hear where this is going because it’s likely going to be good and then next thing I know, I’m out of breath because I am a better sitter than walker and she’s turning into McDonald’s and all I can think about how her pussy she speaks so candid about smells like big mac sauce.

The same things run through my head about this Lisa Rinna Bitch as she parades around her plastic face and plastic tits like she’s still on Melrose Place and people actually care, but I have a feeling that she doesn’t have a pussy, she got it sewn up in hopes of being a more true to life representation of Barbie and if she does it smells like Formaldehyde cuz she’s trying to keep shit from wasting away (rotting).

Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna

2008

23

Jun

RIP Motherfucker, The George Carlin Edition of the Day

I don’t know much about George Carlin or his comedy but I do know people think he’s some kind of legend and I am sure it goes without saying that he is substantially funnier than me, at least he was until today because now he’s dead. RIP, Motherfucker.

Posted in:Dead|George Carlin

2008

23

Jun

Cheryl Burke is Dancing With the Stars in a Bikini of the Day

This girl is a pro dancer who has won the fucking lottery and instead of teaching old ladies at an old folk’s home or teaching bratty rich kids at her local dance studio, a fate almost every other professional dancer ends up in, because dreams of working on Broadway or back up dancing for Britney Spears or touring the world with some kind of dance troop are just drems for most dancers because no one really gives a fuck about them enough to warrant a lot of work in that field and only a few actually make more that 10 dollars an hour with a lifetime of dance training under their belt.

But I have always loved dancing or at least girls dancing and it part of the reason I spend so much time at the strippers. You know that those fit bodies would be fat if they weren’t dancing 8 hours a day, but more importantly you can fantasize about how proper they would fuck you. Dancers just move a lot better, are more flexible, have more endurance and can bounce on a dick harder and more gracefully than a chick who hasn’t been practicing sex moves since she was 6, because dancing is like sex, unless you’re having sex with me, in which case it’s more like a horrible nightmare or war movie.

Point being, Cheryl Burke won the last 2 Dancing with the Stars, she works as one of the dancers who dances with the stars and here she is in a bikini showing off that dancing body you’ve probably been jerking off to the last 3 years because you can’t afford porn and turn to ABC for your orgasms like I used to do back in th TGIF heyday.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Bautista Burke

2008

23

Jun

Miranda Kerr Rocks Out at a Fashion Show of the Day

Miranda Kerr is a Model. This is her working. Watching me work is far less interesting, unless of course if you like watching obese topless dude in his wife’s underwear because it fits, sweating, smoking cigars and eating while ash and crumbs cover his body and tears roll down his face because his computer is a piece of shit, but not as big of a piece of shit as his life.

Posted in:Bikini|Miranda Kerr

2008

23

Jun

Katherine Heigl is Still in a Bikini of the Day

I don’t hate fat chicks, I make fat chicks. Over my lifetime, every single girl I have dated has gained weight. They have also managed to muster up the courage to leave me for other dudes after giving up on sex with me, but at least I know that as they try to starve off the weight they gained, that I made a difference in their life.

My wife holds the championship title of weight gain while giving her heart and by heart I mean large list of annoying issues and hangups that managed to surface about 3 months after I entered her life and she felt I was worthy of listening to all her fucking baggage and complaints and has also managed to put on 100 pounds from emotional eating, because I figure you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves, so to shut her up I just give her pizza.

Point of all this is to say that when I rip into celebrities for being pigs, I don’t mean anything bad from it, sure there’s cellulite and dumpy asses and giving girls the wrong idea that fat can be hot but with cellulite and dumpy ass there is really only hope for hot fat tits and sometimes, fat tits don’t mean really huge nipples that aim to the ground, but usually they do, so girls if you’re out there, starve yourself.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Heigl

2008

23

Jun

Lily Allen’s Long Luscious Miscarriage Legs of the Day

I feel bad because I’ve been writing some pretty ripping commentary about Lily Allen’s miscarriage and that brought me happiness over the last few months, because I am a sick motherfucker. Unfortunately, a reader reached out and told me that they worked at the abortion clinic where Lily Allen got her baby sucked out of her and that it wasn’t a miscarriage at all.

at and now I feel bad about making jokes about the baby life wrongfully taken from him. He could have been the next president of something, inventor, Nick Lachey, the possibilities were endless but some selfish cunt decided to take the vaccuum to the motherfucker like some it’s some dust bunny in the corner of the room. Abortion is completely disgusting and unacceptabe and nothing that should be laughed at, just something that should be protested.

Either way, I doubt any of the 5 of you who reads this site work at Celebrity abortion clinics, in fact, I highly doubt you have jobs and stealing change out of your mom’s purse doesn’t count as work no matter how chanllenging it is. But here are some pictures of a stalky Lily Allen rockin’ out and by rockin’ out I mean discreetly giving us the finger like we were the fetus in her womb all while rockin’ her stupid cotton candy hair, cotton candy the baby she murdered won’t ever be able to eat, so Lily Allen’s guilt is making it up to him by only eating cotton candy and other sugar based delicacies, that’s how she stays so tight bodied, and by tight bodied I mean look’s a lot like the dude who played Willow .

Posted in:Lily Allen|Stalky

2008

23

Jun

Serena Williams and her Athletic Tits of the Day

Here is what looks like the fattest fat man tits I have ever seen. But the truth is that these things are attached to an Athlete. Now I don’t really know what that says about athleticism, because it looks like this Williams sister can eat my wife under the table, an olympic sport in and of itself, and suddenly I feel like I am not married to a morbidly obese, disgusting smelling, piece of shit of a woman, but I am in fact married to a marathon runner who just uses her old person state issued scooter cart to throw the competition off.

Posted in:Serena Williams|Tits

2008

23

Jun

Helen Hunt is In a Bikini 15 Years Too Late of the Day

I found myself at an Elementary School graduation ceremony this past weekend, as I tend to do every June. Not because I have kids in Elementary School or because I am some kind of creepy pervert who deserves to be arrested or because I like to scope out the moms and spot the thirteen year old girls who I think are going to turn out hot and discuss it with the father sitting next to me, I go for the free food and drinksthat the parent’s committee has lined up and struggle through the boring all for the brownies, I am pretty committed when it comes to free brownies.

Speaking of free brownies, I realized that those young girls, who aren’t quite kids and not quite adults have a whole lot to look forward to, their lives are like a blank slate ahead of them, and as they cry about moving onto the next phase of their life, I know that some will turn out hot and successful, some will become whores or drug addicts, lesbians or fat but all of that ahead of them is exciting, while all Helen Hunt has to look forward to is death. Here she is in a bikini. Something that reminds me of death. Enjoy.

Posted in:Bikini|Helen Hunt

2008

20

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

A reader reached out to me and opened up about his own alocholism and appreciation of what I do and his desire to help me out of this rut to reach a healthy, productive life that will open up other doors and take me out of this rut. He suggested I go to AA and quitting the booze will make me feel 1000 times better. I think I will look into it, because if anything, I’ll at least have the stories of the people in AA to make fun of, even though that’s probably frowned upon, more to come, but until it does, here are some links for you to rock out to.

Sluts Having Sex to End the Week Off Right
GO

Shauna Sand and Her Silicone Are Out For a Night on the Town in Her Stripper Shoes
GO

Toy Story 2: Requiem
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Susana is Back and Wants to Help You Work Out Your Biceps
GO

Amy Winehouse is going to be Dead in 3 Months. Mark My Words
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Now Here’s a Paparazzi Who Deserves Some Credit For This Upskirt Picture
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Before They Were BoobJobs
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Prince Charles Shows Off His Fly Side
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The Top 10 Porn Star Topless Scenes in Mainstream Movies
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Keira Knightley Lookin’ Hot at an Event
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Get Some Self-Esteem For Christ Sakes
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Hooters Waitress Has the Last Laugh
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Kim Kardashian is a Cutter
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Rihanna Performing Live and Hot on the Today Show
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Twin Indian Belly Dancers Have a Threesome in Some Movie
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Ray J and 2 Members of Danity Kane Made a Sex Tape
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Cindy Margolis and Her New Playboy Pics
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Gemma Atkinson in Some Big Titty Bikini Pics
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Hulk Hoga is a Sick Fuck
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The Lead Singer of Saving Abel is Banging This Bikini Clad Wrestling Whore
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Some Hot Chick and Her Popsicle Cool Her Whole Hot Body Off
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Private Outdoor Party, Lesbo Style
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GNAR WARS!!
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Losers of Myspace
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Marisa Miller Gallery
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Sometimes a Fat Friend is a Good Friend to Have
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The House Bunny : Film Clip
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Sandy Goes Lesbian
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Viagra of Arabia
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Jessica James in Black Fishnet
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Kristen Bell Pretends to Be as Drunk as I Am
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Queefing on Command
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Blake Lively Short Dress
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Pam Anderson Talks About Some Stuff I Don’t Care About
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Striptease of the Day
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Abbey Brooks Shows Off
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Tarantula Pussy Weirdness
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An Ass Worth Smacking
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Elsa Pataky @ Mont Blanc White Nights Festival Reception
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Some Balloon Art That Would Have Been More Funny If It Was Made of Condoms
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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Rhianna Wears a Dumb Hat
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Some Sexy Beach Babes
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Jennifer Waycott Looks Hot in Sexy Boots
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John Mayer Left THIS for Jennifer Aniston?
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Girls and Their Toys
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Lego Coaster!
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The Joy of Synchronized Swimming
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Casey Michelle is All Sorts of Sexy
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A Little Bit of Web Sex is Better Than the No Sex You Get Right Now
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Fun in the Lounge
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Mike Myers is a Diva
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Play with a Womens Clitoris Proper
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Britney Spears is Already Back from Seeing her Neice
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Hawaii Dreamgirls Will Have You Dreaming of the Islands
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Miss Universe Australia in Some Lingerie Photoshoot
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Hot Asian Chick In Her Underwear
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Crazy Topless Lesbian Whip Cream Party
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Some Naked Chubby Chick in Some Photoshoot
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BONUS: Montreal Sluts Get Wet to End the Week Right
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

20

Jun

Kristen Bell on the Beach With Some Asshole of the Day

I have issues with Dax, I don’t know it is watching his horrible performances on Punk’d or the fact that he works out excessively to distract girls from his funny lookin’ face, or that he looks like a frat boy motherfucker who would annoy the fuck out of me while I’m trying to get a drink at the bar and he’s trying to get all the attention from everyone in the bar to make up for his funny lookin’ face, but I do know that it’s got nothing to do with the fact that he’s railing Kristen Bell. There’s nothing hot about her, she’s about as standard as Dax Shepard getting rejected from both acting jobs and women alike before he got a bank account and manipulated the world that he was worth hiring in movies because he was part of a successful MTV show.

Either way, here they are in love and we can only hope their plane crashes on their way home because the world’s seen enough of them already and I think they’ve both lead a good life and need to make room for people with a little more talent.

Bonus – Here are Some Pictures of her Badly Playing a Drunk on Set Even Though You’d Have to Be Drunk To Get Up In Dax Sheppard

Posted in:Beach|Kristen Bell