I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Jun

Whoopi Goldberg Has Another Erotic Moment of the Day

So Whoopi Goldberg can’t watch Sex and the City because they talk about Anal Sex and I can only assume that turns her on because it reminds her of every single time she’s had sex since she has a penis. I like how she pretends to be all grossed out by the concept of it to trick us into thinking she’s not actually into it, well Whoopi, that shit didn’t work when were every single time I’ve propositioned a girl to have sex with me and she threw up on my shoes, trying to make me think they didn’t want it while they were passed out in my bed drunk, but I could tell because after using a bit of lube, they totally felt like they were into it.

Either way, I like her cover up when she tries to pretend the ass talk is about waxing asses and not fucking them, good recovery Whoopi good thing you won’t lose your job.

Posted in:Anal Sex|Whoopi Goldberg

2008

04

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I took my lunch at 4 pm and ended up getting completely wasted. Some dude I met randomly offered to take me to some brown poo covered chick’s concert and I tagged along only to drink too much. We met a native american girl and it was funny too see her drunk of something that wasn’t gasoline – I don’t remember much else even though it all just went down, I learned that people have absolutely no respect for what I do, but that’s okay and I did remember that I have to post my links – so here they are – see you tomorrow.

Love, Jesus

14 Houston Day Shift strippers Arrested for Doing the Nasty on the Job
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Trailer for the New Get Smart Movie, Because Steve Carell is An Asshole
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Hilary Duff and Her Linebackers Shoulders Look Aged in a Glittery Dress
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Some Hot Pics of Tatum O’Neal
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South Park Mac VS PC Spoof
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Mellissa George is Some Aussi Actress Slut, But You’re Probably More Interested in Her Gallery
So Here It Is
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5 Reasons Not To Bang Gina Gershon
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The 10 Funniest Moments in Fox News History
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More Montreal Sluts You Will Never Get To See, Because Montreal Girls Are Useless
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Petra Nemcova Sideboobage from Cannes, in Case You Missed it the First Time
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Cameron Diz is an Elegant and Classy Lady
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Gay Prank Goes Wrong, and It Serves Him Right, Cause His Idea Was Stupid Anyways
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Wet, White Boy Shorts Only Mean One Thing – CAMEL TOE!
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Use this to Help You Find Sex TODAY!
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Passed Out Party Girls – Casualties of the Weekend War
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Gonzo – The Life and Times of Hunter S. Thompson
The Movie Trailer
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Rachel Nicoles Gallery
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News Reporter Gets Borderline Molested of TV
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GiGi is Naked and Tanned and Floating on An Inflatable Matress
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Sandy Westgate Gallery
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Girl Next Door Has a Bangin Body
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Irina Sheik is a Hot Russian Model in Her Bikini
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Leona Lewis Makes a Promise to Keep Clean Cut
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Nick Hogan Staying in Jail Despite Request to be Releases to Home Arrest
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Heidi Klum Hugs a Bear and Makes Me Horny
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Why the FUCK Does Target Have a Movie Awards Show? And What Kind of Hollywood Trash Would Actually Go There?
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Striptease of the Day
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Gena Gershon was Most Probably Bangin Bill Clinton
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Now That’s What I call Making Mom and Dad Proud
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Porn That Will Make You Even More of a Hermit Than You Already Are
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Maddox Jolie-Pitt is Cooler Than You Are
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Sara Larson is Going Back to the Ho Factory is Vegas
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Lip Synching Makes Me Laugh So Hard I Wanna Crap Myself
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Useless Facts of the Day, Which Will Make You Smarted Because You Don’t Know Shit
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Ashlynn Brooke is Oh So Hot
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Rap Battle Turns Ugly
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R-Kelly is Going to Jail for a Long, Long Time
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Kanye West is Bangin Some Hot Victoria’s Secret Model
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Keeley Hazell in Nuts for the 198 278 237th Time
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Aubrey O’Day Talks About Her Tits
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I think this is way too old to breast feed in this awkward too old to be breast feeding documentary – sooo sick.
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The Turtles Caught Bangin’ Shells On Camera
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Some Blonde Amateur With Some Big TIts for the Perverts
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Bonus: Leave Me a Message on the stepHOTLINE
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Some Slut Named Kana on Shot By Kern
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Some Crazy Pic of a Bike Race Gone Bad Thanks to a Drunk Driver
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Some Hooters in the Parking Lot Madness
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Olsen Twins Bikini Throwbacks
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Tennis Player Ashley Harkleroad Is Going to Pose in Playboy
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The Girls Next Door Are On The Cover of Guitar World
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Someone Turned the Movie “The Happening” into Something Funnier
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Some Girl With Her Freaky Tongue
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Girl’s Vagina Spread
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Another Girl’s Vagina Spread
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BONUS – Web Cam Sluts You Can Go Wrong With Because They Do What You Say….
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

03

Jun

Alicia Keys Has Some Fat Legs of the Day

Looks like Alicia Keys, who was reportedly a marathon runner has hung up her running shoes and committed herself to her piano and by piano I mean extra-large double cheese pizza. I had more respect for this girl when I thought her last name was actually Keys, thinking how crazy a coincidence it was. But it turns out that it’s just some kind of nickname thatshe gave herself that happens to be a lot more appealing than Large Fry Thighs.

I wonder if I’d be more successful if I changed my name was Jesus Useless Guy On the Internet, since it would let people know what they are singing up for, but the flow just isn’t as cool as “Keys”, but that’s not my fault, I’m not black.

I also had more respect for her before finding out she came from money and had actual music lessons and training, I was a little more accepting to her obesity when I thought she taught herself the piano playing a chalk drawing of a piano in the projects, it just makes for a better heartwarming story on Oprah.

Either way, some of you find her hot, I’m just posting these to try to drill it into you that she probably is, because carrying that load around is tough on her body and she just can’t seem to stop sweating.

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Fat|Legs

2008

03

Jun

Miley Cyrus is Out of Control on the Set of her New Video of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miley Cyrus on set for her new music video because despite being an annoying cunt, she apparently has some kind of successful music career. I like to think that she’s smashing these guitars making some kind of statement about how when you make over-produced garbage, you don’t need guitars, but realized that she’s probably just trying to show the world how rock and roll she while making sex faces. It’s like the time I stuck my finger in my ass and smeared it on some bitch’s face because she wouldn’t have sex with me, the smell was probably similar to the smell of Miley’s boyfriend and by boyfriend I mean father’s dick after he’s done with her achy breaky ass because she’s too young to lose her vagina virginity God’s outdated rules just don’t seem to doesn’t understand.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Out of Control|Video

2008

03

Jun

Paris Hilton’s Lying On Her Balcony In Nothing But a Towel and Enjoying The Scenery of the Day

These are some stalker paparazzi pictures of Paris Hilton smokin’ something while sprawled out on her balcony after taking a shower in what looks like a towel. I am sure she’s happy she dished out that extra cash for the beautiful city-scape view that has unimaginably beautiful sunsets….rumored to be some of the best in the world, when all you really had to offer the slut is a full length mirror. I was wondering if she is thinking to herself how she’s just not the woman she thought she turned out to be, but that’s probably way to complex for this whore and she’s actually just trying to get herself in the mood to rub one out and she’s the only thing that turns her on because she’s self-absorbed like that.

Posted in:Naked|Paris Hilton|Sun Tanning

2008

03

Jun

Brooke Mueller is Charlie Sheen’s Wife and This is Her in a Bikini of the Day

Charlie Sheen got married to some ex-actor turned real estate agent named Brooke Mueller because I can only assume he knocked her up and is doing the noble thing or because he doesn’t want to pay the outrageous commissions real estate agents demand, especially on multi-million dollar homes.

Here they are on their honeymoon and she is wearing some boring shorts bikini bottoms that you’d expect to see all the 12 year old girls at your neighbor’s daughter’s birthday party wearing and not so much what you’d want the bitch you just committed yourself for life to, and in Charlie Sheen’s case, life is more like by the hour. I guess you can’t blame him, whores don’t annoy you with all that kissing and cuddling bullshit, it’s more of a getting right down to business like it should be and none of this spending the same amount you’d spend on a whore a day but on one slut who disguises herself as your wife and takes you to the cleaners after you divorce because she catches you running around behind her back with less demanding whores.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Mueller|Charlie Sheen|Wedding

2008

03

Jun

Queen Latifah is Out in a Bathing Suit of the Day

Whoever said that big is beautiful was wrong and these pictures of Queen Latifah prove that, so does my wife when she runs around the house in her underwear. These pictures also prove the quality of floatation devices, because I know that if I was the poor fucker she was riding, I wouldn’t be holding up so well. I guess the good news for some of you sick fucks who don’t care how fat a chick is as long as she has tits, is that she’s not too embarrassed to get into a bathing despite, even though she should be.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Fat|Queen Latifah

2008

03

Jun

Kim Kardashian is a Slut on Set of Disaster Movie of the Day

The biggest joke of Disaster Movie, something I can only assume is being made by the same people who did Scary Movie and Date Movie is that they hired Kim Kardashian to be in it because I know these things are supposed to be spoofs and can only assume casting a useless fat slut to pretend to act must be all part of some spoof joke, like making fun of real actors, but since I don’t do spoof too well, maybe I am wrong and she’s the only whore the could get due to budget constraints.

The good news is that she goes onto spoof being a cheerleader, which we all know is some kind of joke, considering she looks like she ate the cheerleading squad and the only lifting she’ll be doing is the piece of cake from plate to mouth and the only cheering she’ll be doing is burping to make more room for more cake and the only acrobatic dance she’ll be doing is passing out on her sofa after stuffing herself like a turkey since moving that weight around is tiring but ironically so is sitting all day, not that I know what irony is, but it sounded right to me.

Either way, here she is with Vanessa Minnillo as a Fat Cheerleader which has funny written all over it.

And, Here she is with Carmen Electra in some America Apparel outfit that I want to watch my seed slide off of it’s shiny slicked surface.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

03

Jun

Helen Hunt Rocks Out in her Old Lady Bikini of the Day

Saying Helen Hunt looks amazing for her age in a bikini is pretty much the equivalent of saying little Tommy the retarded kid is the quickest learner at the retard home. Despite not being disgustingly fat, bitch is still old and washed up, like little Tommy who’s managed to learn how to change his own diaper when no one is around is still out shitting his fucking retard pants. If you know what I mean.

Either way, here she is in a bikini for those of you still holding onto you Mad About You sexual fantasies because you have both a hard time getting over things and horrible taste in women. At least now you can tell all the fuckers who used to say you couldn’t do two things at once that they are so wrong about you.

Posted in:Bikini|Helen Hunt

2008

03

Jun

Danity Kane Do Bikini for InTouch Weekly of the Day

Danity Kane is some MTV created pop group that is so multicultural my bullshit alarm is going off in my head. The last time 2 black chicks, 1 asian chick and a couple white chicks spent time together was on the motherfucker city bus. The likelihood of them just hanging out together is so far fetched enough that seeing them sing (badly) together is so out there that it reminds me of watching an episode of the Cosby Show and that only happened then because the white people watching the show, since nothing else was on, were having a hard enough time believing that a black Lawyer and a black Doctor existed and needed a few white people thrown in to justify the money the Cosby’s used to buy that house wasn’t made selling drugs. This post may be shitty but I just thrown off by these lies.

Posted in:Bikinis|Danity Kane|InTouch Weekly