I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

02

Jun

Tatum O’Neal Gets Busted for Crack of the Day

You may not know who Tatum O’Neal is because she’s been pretty much off the map the last 20 years, but if you’re interested she was the youngest person to win an Academy Award a long time ago and claimed that when she was a child star, her famous father, Ryan O’Neal introduced her to cocaine to keep her skinny and give her the energy to work when she was 11 or some crazy shit. She was also married to John McEnroe who beat the fuck out of her according to her while she hid her major cocaine habit that all started when she was a kid and that you can’t really blame her for considering I became addicted to jerking off when I was about 10 and still haven’t managed to kick the habit, I kinda turn to it everytime I get sad like I did when I was too young to cope with the problems life threw at me and went at my dick for that moment of bliss that feels, just for a split second, like all of the world’s problems just don’t exist.

Either way, she got busted for buying crack yesterday while Yves Saint Laurent and Bo Didley were dying, and claimed shit was to research a role, which is a pretty great excuse that I tried using the time I got caught hiring a prostitute, when they didn’t believe me I just said that it was a joke and that we were staging a candid camera type gag on the cops and luckily they bought it. They didn’t buy her story though, so she then claimed that she was clean for a long time and that the cops just saved her from relapsing and thanked them and hoped to get on with her day, but they still arrested her despite her appreciation for a job well done on their part which is weird considering when you have a thankless career, you tend to get won over when someone acknowledges your hard work and you would normally let them go on with their day as you smile because it’s days like this that make you feel good about what you do and it reminds you of the the reason you got into this shit in the first place.

Posted in:Crack|Tatum O'Neal

2008

01

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

So I just heard some girls elaborate story at a swingers party where she banged and sucked off multiple dudes and I was thinking that’d be a good place to grab a beer, not because I like watching fat dudes bang ugly chicks together, but because I think it’d be a good laugh. Instead I am sitting at home listening to my wife snore because I have no money to make real life magic, so instead I decided to make internet magic with some fake blonde exhibitionist from Australia who I know is really the FBI luring me into their trap but I like to live life as an internet predator on the wild side. I am tempted to burn down my house like I was 50 Cent trying to get rid of a burden of a woman in my life, not because I want her to die as she struggles to run down the fire escape, but because I think fires are romantic and can’t afford a fireplace. Not to mention, I’ll have no where to sleep and don’t really think the ex homeless people who managed to scrounge up enough change to pay the rent on their first home in 20 years would appreciate my antics, so instead I’ll just throw up these links.

I’ve Been Pro Global Warming Since the Start and This Video Slut Only Confirms My Support of It
GO

Some Hot Mutant Tits
GO

Jessica Simpson is a Hot Cowgirl
GO

If Britney Spears Ain’t Knocked Up, She is Just All Kinds of Fat
GO

The Top 10 HBO Topless Scenes
GO

The 50 Hottest Female Athletes of All Time
GO

Rachel Bilson May Be Pregnant in Her See Through Shirt
GO

Christina Milian Black Panty Upskirt
GO

Mary-Louise Parker is Hot in That Boring Kind of Way
GO

Real Girls Gallery
GO

Build a Firewall from a Junk PC
GO

Bouncy Japanese Tennis Slut
GO

Some Old Victoria Beckham Photoshoot Where She Looks Bangable
GO

The Month of May, as Told in Bikinis
GO

Some Girls Take a Bath Together at a Party
GO

Sarah Jessica Parker Looks Like a Horse
GO

Funny X-Ray of a 60 Year Old Man Who Survived a Buffalo Robbery
GO

Some of the Best Worst Tattoos
GO

Molly Sims Has Jacked Up Her Face
GO

Some Meagan Good Cleavage Pics
GO

Choose Any Girl You Want and Make Love to Her Without Having to Leave Your Room
GO

50 Cent Most Probably Burned Down the House His Ex Wife Was Living In and Almost Killed 6 People
GO

Steven Tyler is a Liar
GO

Eva Longoria Peep Hole Cleavage
GO

Lohan Makes Common People Move So She Can Lez out on a NY – LA Flight
GO

How Do You Say TITS in German? Anyone?
GO

Go Check Your Closest for a Squatting Ho Right Now!
GO

Teeny Bopper Jessica is Naked in Her Video
GO

Some Contortionist Broad Proves That the Possibilities are Endless
GO

Go on the Prowl This Weekend
GO

Squirt on Me!!
GO

The Office Dash!!
GO

Hayden Pantyairs at LAX
GO

More Myspace Losers
GO

Nikoletta Ralli Naked In Greek Maxim
GO

Anna Lind-Hansen from Big Brother Australia
GO

Ashley Tisdales Got Long Hair and a Short Skirt
GO

Tyra Banks was, nay is, Fat and Black
GO

Former TV Stars Arrested in Meth Lab
GO

Who Knew, Alex Trebek is Actually Pretty Funny
GO

European Lingerie Championships
GO

Playboy Babes – Twins Cassie & Kat Kellerman
GO

Make Those Dreams Come True, Get Laid
GO

The Scariest Pole Dance of All Time
GO

BONUS: Enjoy These Club Whores, Cause It’s Good To Pretend You Didn’t Stay Home Jerking Off All Weekend
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

30

May

Mila Kunis is Hot Pumping Gas of the Day

The only thing that could justify these gas prices is if Mila Kunis gave you a blowjob everytime you fill your tank.
Thanks Iraq.

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2008

30

May

Kate Hudson Acting a Fool on Set of the Day

So Kate Hudson likes to show off that her job isn’t really a job but more of being at some location for a bunch of hours a day doing nothing and getting paid hard for that shit. I used to have a job and when I did, making stupid faces and acting like an asshole never got me the promotion, it did get me fired with a request to seek psychological evaluation. We all know that acting is the biggest scam out there, where actors pretend how hard it is because they don’t want everyone else jumping on their shit and making it harder for them to land these jobs and make their millions of dollars pretending to be in stupid situations in their make-belief land. Either way, she’s wearing shorts and shorts are a step closer to naked than pants so enjoy.

Posted in:Acting|Fool|Kate Hudson|Shorts

2008

30

May

Liz Berkley’s Ass in White Pants of the Day

I think it’s a little presumptuous that Liz Berkley shows off her menopause pants to the world because no young fertile woman would be caught dead in white pants for fear of the nightmare of getting their period while wearing their white pants, because we all know that shit always hits when you least expect it, like before a hot date with a dude you want to fuck, or when you have a vacation at the beach planned and most importantly when you are somewhere far from a store without a tampon.

So Liz Berkley who is seemingly living on the edge of danger is pretty much giving you all a fuck you because she’s in her 40s and the only thing she has to worry about is the continued changes her body undergoes as she gets further and further from her Striptease body and closer and closer to a dumpy assed, saggy titted old lady.

Posted in:Ass|Liz Berkley|White Pants

2008

30

May

Angelina Jolie Had Her Twins!!!! of the Day

I don’t understand why people actually give a fuck that Angelina and Brad Pitt had their stupid twins because I know that I don’t. The second bitch got knocked up the first time, all I saw was some annoying activist with a gaping vagina and that’s only hot when I am drunk and lonely.

I actually have a new hatred for mothers because they think they are so fucking important because they’ve decided to breed and devote their lives to their little spawns. I was at my coffee shop and found out about some local promotion where mothers get 10 percent off their purchases just for being mothers. When I asked why lonely, drunk, possible deadbeat dads and obvious creeps don’t get a discount, the dude just blew me off. That’s some serious discrimination because if spreading your legs and locking some poor asshole in for life so that you don’t have to work full time anymore in exchange for giving up anything that was remotely attractive about your body warrants a discount, so should poverty, irresponsibilty, obesity and alcoholism. Fuck you MommyDiscount and the way you dangle cheaper coffee in my face that I can’t get because I have a cock…a small cock…but still a cock.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie

2008

30

May

Jojo Levesque’s Got Some Tits of the Day

Jojo was one of those Miley Cyrus jailbait sluts before Miley Cyrus existed. She kinda paved the way for Miley by giving perverts everywhere some teenage popstar fantasies and I never really understood it. She was chubby and didn’t have tits but did have a thing for black cock. The good news is that the eating paid off for her and that she finally secured some fat in the right places, it took some time and a lot of cake, but in the end, she is stacked and never had to go under the knife. Sure fake tits look stupid, but fat tits usually look worse as the nipple tries so hard to kiss the ground that you think shit’s just got off a rocky flight or even like it spent the last 6 months at sea. I guess all that matters is that bitch is showing off the cleavage she always wanted and all it took was a couple years of laziness and overeating something that my wife and I can relate to.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

30

May

Jelena Jankovic Plays Some Pornographic Tennis of the Day

Tennis is the most pornographic sport with these Eastern European girls in little skirts and panties grunting like they are fucking and I like to watch it because I am a pervert. Here’s some bitch named Jalena Jankovic taking it to the next level by throwing in some splits and using her ass to get some more coverage because she knows that her male fans will appreciate it. I never really understood why dudes freak out when strippers throw in the splits in the middle of a routine, I am guessing it’s got something to do with visualizing that flexibility in the bedroom, but I just find it obvious. I’d be a lot happier if a stripper pushed the limits a bit and fisted herself on stage while taking a shit instead, but then again, I am a tough crowd. I blame the internet for desensitizing me.

Posted in:Ass|Jelena Jankovic|Panty|Porn|Splits|Tennis

2008

30

May

Amy Alexander and Michelle Bass are Topless Together of the Day

I don’t know when these pics were taken, I am useless like that. I am also useless in a lot of areas of my life, so I am just keeping it real. These girls are from Big Brother in the UK and I guess living in a house together offered them a lasting friendship that brings them to topless beaches with photographers in hopes of holding onto as much of the little fame they had for as long as they can. I guess getting topless when you have massive tits is a decent strategy that I can accept as a cry for attention that is a lot less cheesy than the two girls I saw last night grabbin at each other’s tits for their boyfriends to get horny over, but that’s just because they told me to fuck off when I tried to get involved and encouraged them to go down on each other in the middle of the dancefloor, that actually pissed the group off and made them stop what they were doing because they knew their antics lured in the creeps and by creeps I mean me.

Posted in:Amy Alexander|Big Brother|Michelle Bass|Topless

2008

30

May

Adriana Lima Gets Topless for Elle Magazine of the Day

This staying up all night shit is making updating the site a pain in the ass, I guess I shouldn’t really stop the site, because I would upset about 2 people, but maybe I should stop drinking at a reasonable time. These after parties and shit are keeping me up until 8 am and I only wake up at 3 when most people are winding down for the day and getting off their computers for the weekend, making my shit useless and a waste of time. I guess I’ll figure it out and while I tend to this horrible hangover that feels like my heart is going to explode, here are some topless Adriana Lima pics for Elle magazine because she’s pretty much my favorite model and has the potential to make your dick explode all over your pants.

Posted in:Uncategorized