I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

21

Apr

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Hard Nipples of the Day

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is hot. She’s also a Posh Spice rip off. She’s from the UK, she’s in a girl band, she’s got a Soccer playing husband and now she’s got rock hard nipples. This girl is fuckin’ skinny and I like it.

I’ve decided that my enemy is the whole institution of Eating Disorder clinics because it encourages skinny girls, or girls who know what’s important, like not eating that pint of Ice Cream, to look at their lifestyle choices as unhealthy or bad. They try to convince them that they have a negative body image, when all they are trying to do is look good at all costs and they train them to get back into eating, so that they put on weight, because they are just jealous of their discipline.

The one thing that isn’t my enemy is air conditioning and/or a brisk breeze, because it makes nipples hard and is natures way of telling me that it gets more pussy than me. I don’t even remember the last time I got a girl’s nipples hard, I figure it’s cuz I do my best at avoiding anything involving my wife’s disgusting tits, but maybe it’s just cuz I’ve got no game.

Either way, here’s a skinny Cheryl Tweedy Cole doing her best Posh Spice impersonation and lookin’ pretty good while doing it.

Posted in:Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Hard Nipples

2008

21

Apr

Lohan’s Lesbian Sex Eyes of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is giving me sex eyes and I like it. I don’t think she’s as haggard as people like to say she is. She looks good and I want to fuck the Herpes out of her, unfortunately this Samantha Ronson lesbian coke-slut is cock-blocking me. She’s on my Facebook and every time I message her asking for Lohan’s phone number she ignores me. I know while she’s preventing me from stealing Lohan from her because I am substantially cooler, she’s running off her lesbian penis hating mouth to a broken down Lohan. with rants of how the penis is to blame for all your problemsand how she should turn to the pussy because it doesn’t break you down…all while feeding Lohan lines of cocaine…and cashing in on her vulnerability when her peer pressure actually leads to lickin’ Lohan pussy.

I think the highlight of these pictures is how Ronson puts her cigarette in her lesbian hat, like she can’t keep it in a pack in her pocket like the rest of the world, she’s gotta go to the next step towards lesbianism where she feels like a fuckin’ construction worker while she pulls it out from the back of her ear and into her mouth as a group of hot girls walk by and they whistle and cat-call while grabbing their balls.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Sex

2008

21

Apr

Pink Red Bikini Jog of the Day

I got a Lesbian show at the strip club with my friend’s money this past weekend. The girls were fuckin’ bitches and money hungry because all these Americans came in with all their money for the UFC fight I didn’t go to and it turns out that American’s don’t have stripclubs quite like these stripclubs. The bitch wanted 40 dollars a song or a half hour for 400 dollars that ends with one of them squirting. I got into a debate about how squirting is a myth and whenever a girl actually squirts she’s really just pissing, so if I wanted to watch a girl piss, I’d just follow a homeless chick around. They told me that it wasn’t piss, and asked if the room smelled like piss, because she had just squirted all over the place and I told them that I didn’t know if it smelled like piss but it definitely smelled bad. They whispered something in French about how I was some kind of asshole who wasn’t going to pay them as much as the last guys tipped them, which was true because after they put on a staged dyke show, licked each others assholes and made me feel awkward because it was so bad and they wanted me to be so into it but I couldn’t perform, something I am used to, I ended it at one song because for another 40 dollars I could buy a couple more drinks that would give me more pleasure.

Lookin’ at Pink jogging in a bikini makes me wonder whether her lesbian sex is as bad as the stripper lesbian sex I saw, or whether she’s actually got a clit and by clit I mean dick big enough to penetrate her partner because without penetration, you’ve pretty much just got foreplay and there’s nothing exciting about that.

Posted in:Jog|Pink|Red Bikini

2008

21

Apr

Geri Spice Riding a Bike of the Day

Here are some pictures of Geri Spice looking like a 7 year old on a bike ride with her dad and figured some of you would be into that. It sure beats hanging out outside the park and potentially getting arrested…doesn’t it? You sick fuck.

It’s Summer and all these French sluts are out trying to get healthy to balance out their cocaine snorting, hard drinking, chain smoking and bad eating that leaves their faces about 10 years older than they actually are. Some of them are out on their bikes getting the fucking way while wearing their spandex and sports bras, other girls are out jogging wearing their spandex and sports bras and that’s when I decided that working out in public should be banned for hot chicks. That shit is like watching a fuckin’ porno and I think less rapes would go down if they didn’t let hot chicks into gyms or out in public in spandex. Don’t get me wrong, I love the shit, but that’s all part of the problem. The state should issue treadmills to hot girls to work out at home, while leaving gyms for fat sluts no one wants to fuck because it would make the world a better place and maybe if the hot chicks in Spandex stop making an appearance, so will the fat dudes who think it’s cool to wear bike shorts will disappear too.

Posted in:Ass|Bike|Geri Halliwell

2008

21

Apr

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Jew Kiss of Death for Passover of the Day

Comments Off on Michelle Trachtenberg’s Jew Kiss of Death for Passover of the Day

Here are some pictures of Michelle Trachtenberg making out with some Gossip Girl motherfucker. I figured this would upset some of you Buffy fans who still masturbate to Buffy reruns and have her pictures printed up and put into a scrapbook you keep under your bed. It’s really just a numbers game since Buffy was designed for losers and so was the Internet and since I have a website and you are reading it, then you are a loser too, possibly one whole liked Buffy.

The good news is that it’s passover and Jews aren’t allowed to eat yeast so no one will be lickin’ your favorite pussy for the next week so you can be happy that this kiss doesn’t lead to her promised land, but at the same time, realize that she’s getting paid to make out with some dude, which to me is total prostitution. I wonder what Moses would have to say about this…..

Yes, I am capable of making really bad jokes.

Posted in:Jew|Kiss|Michelle Trachtenberg

2008

21

Apr

From the Forum of the Day

My computer finally died on me, so I am borrowing a friend’s piece of shit. Things always go wrong, so I wasn’t getting my emails all weekend and I was planning on posting this FROM THE FORUM shit yesterday to give you hungover assholes with nothing better to do…something to do. I know that Sundays are the loneliest, most depressing day of the week and what way to make it more depressing than to rock a message board on the internet.

I decided to make a post because I like contributing….

What Would You Rather…..
GO

Here’s some other shit going on in the forum….

————music—————-

The Killers – Live at Glastonbury
GO

Jason and the Scorchers – Live
GO

The Police – Box Set
GO

James Brown – Live at the Apollo
GO

SCSI-9 — The Line of Nine
GO

Cut Copy – Future Remixes
GO

Interpol – Evil
GO

South Park – bigger Longer Uncut
GO

Brian Regan – I Walked on the Moon
GO

———-porn————–

Hott Asssss
GO

Random Sluts
GO

———–Software————-

Wallpapers
GO

More Premium Wallpapers
GO

ACDsee Pro for Photographers
GO

————-e-books————-

The Dream Drugstore – Chemically Atered States
GO

————-video———–

The Office – COmplete Series
GO

Posted in:Forum

2008

21

Apr

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures of the Day

Jennifer Aniston was out in a bikini this weekend and you probably were too, which is a little awkward since it belonged to your sister and you were wearing it while watching porn because it makes you feel pretty. I guess Jennifer Aniston’s sex life involves a lot of porn since she hasn’t fully recovered from losing Brad Pitt to Angelina. The truth is that Aniston looks pretty good but there’s just something about her that makes her have little to no sex appeal. I remember watching Friends in the 90s because it was the only place to find hard nipples on prime time TV, making her like the only girl in your class willing to fuck you amongst a group of other girls a false sense of being hot.

This post is as boring as these pictures but that’s just the way it is when you’re dealing with Jennifer Aniston. The only thing interesting about her is that this Greek ass likes getting fucked because that’s just the Greek way…..and your way cuz you’re gay…way to gay….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Aniston

2008

21

Apr

Fergie Bikini Pictures of the Day

I met a girl where I meet all the girls I know and that’s at the stripclub this weekend. Strippers always act like they are celebrities, or unattainable, or more important than they are and try their best to avoid having to talk to me and when they do they try to make me feel like I’m lucky to be talking to them, but the truth is that it’s one of the only places where 10 dollars puts that ego aside and leads to me grabbing their tits within about a minute of approaching them. The are just high volume shitty prostitutes that try to convince themselves that they are celebrities and I like to single out the one with the most attitude to use.

Either way, this weekend, the stripper was some fitness bitch who was more acrobatic than the other lazy sluts. She was bouncing off the walls, flipping herself in all ways possible and knew how to work the crowd because she spread her ass apart on stage like it was a cheap porno shoot. She had a hard face from years of smoking, drinking and drugs and her body was fuckin’ tight and she was doing it all to a Fergie song and I thought that I just witnessed some kind of ironic moment, but don’t know what the word ironic means so can’t be too sure….

Here’s Fergie in a bikini from this past weekend with her tight body and hard face….unfortunately she’s not spreading her ass like my Fergie was, but I guess this is as close as she gets….since she’s famous and doesn’t need to do it to pay her rent which is really too bad because Fergie was a drug addicted child star who burnt through all her money and could have either gone deeper into the gutter, but somehow managed to get out that makes us the real losers in this whole recovery shit…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Fergie|Tits

2008

21

Apr

Emma Watson’s 18 Year Old Sheer Panty Upskirt Pictures of the Day

Emma Watson turned 18 this weekend and she wore sheer panties to celebrate being legal, because you know that before this weekend there was no way bitch was letting dudes explore her vagina. The fact that she’s got bush is a nice change of pace because I was under the impression that all teenage girls these days were so influenced by porn and Paris Hilton that they didn’t believe in bush, but did believe in brazilian bikini waxes. I guess this Emma Watson bitch is from England and they do things differently there.

I am posting this because I have a feeling half of my 5 readers think they are wizards and dress up in capes and meet up with their other wizard friends on the weekend to cast spells on each other and do other weird shit because girls don’t talk to them and since Harry Potter is probably your instruction booklet, I figured these come in handy when you cast a spell on your penis and turn it into a fire spitting dragon, at least that’s what you pretend it is when it’s cumming all over you because it makes masturbating more relevant to your cause.

Posted in:Bush|Emma Watson|Panties|Sheer

2008

21

Apr

Tila Tequila is a Video Star…Baby…of the Day

I spent Saturday drinking all day, because that’s what I like to do everyday. I figure if I am not drunk by 5 pm, I’ve failed, since it’s the only thing I am good at, according to me, according to everyone else, I’m some kind of evil drunk who takes down everything in my path, but since I black out and never seem to get arrested I figure I’m no real threat, unless I haven’t been caught for shit I’ve done and don’t know I’ve done, which is really the whole point of drinking because last time I checked I drink to forget and not to remember.

Either way, I heard that superstar Tila Tequila was going to be at some chachi club that I can’t fucking stand and decided since I was drunk that it would be funny to try to get in wearing my jogging pants and mustard stained T-shirt. I got to the door and couldn’t get through the crown of Ed Hardy shirt, tight jean wearing immigrants so I called a friend who I knew would be at the event because he has a crush on Tila.

Either way, he ended up getting me on the guest list and let inside, but that didn’t stop the harassment, every chick in the place looked at me with disgust and cleared a 5 foot circle around me like this was some kind of dance off while everyone else in the club was crammed together. I approached the area they had sectioned off for Tila Tequila and her friends and got this video of her doin’ a little dance. It’s a far cry from a sex tape but there’s only so much I can pull off with a limp dick, no social skills, a bodyguard tying to keep me away from her and a mustard stained shirt. Enjoy.

TILA TEQUILA DOESN’T LIKE HUGS…

BONUS – Here are some Bikini Pictures from Some Photoshoot of Her Being All Active and Shit…

Posted in:stepTV|Tila Tequila|Tits|Video Star