I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

12

May

Jennifer Aniston is in the Pool with John Mayer of the Day

John Mayer is the sloppy second predator. He finds these recently broken hearted girls who are down on their luck when it comes to love and feel like shit about themselves, making them an easy target to bed. He is the rebound king, but probably doesn’t play basketball, because he spent most of his youth playing the piano instead like some kind of homo, a homo who no girls around him would have sex with cuz he was the loser music class all star and apparently that didn’t go as far as being captain of the school sports team.

The good news for him is that in his time alone he realized that to get over one guy a girl gets under the first guy that comes her way and as long as he is the first guy she gets under, he gets all the rewards of her previous sex-life with her longterm relationship she is just trying to get over. So he treats them all special and makes them laugh knowing that it probably won’t take up more than 6 weeks of his time and in those 6 weeks will get unprotected sex, anal sex and all the other things the last guy had to work hard to get the slut to do, all without any work because the girl he is dealing with is trying to get back at the last dude.

I know that Jennifer Aniston’s last long term relationship was 3 kids ago, but she’s still raging on the inside and you can tell by how hard her nipples are for her stand-in cock, until Brad Pitt realizes that leaving her was the biggest mistake of his life and comes crawling back to her, which probably will never happen, but does happen in her mind everyday as she plays out that fantasy over and over.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|John Mayer|Nipple

2008

12

May

Amy Winehouse is Out in Her Bra of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

The thing I like about Amy Winehouse is that she’s got some drug induced insanity going on and from my experience drug induced insanity spills over into everyday insanity and is part of the reason I’ve had sex with as many girls as I have had sex with. It seems like crazy girls are pretty easy to win over because being crazy, like being retarded turns off your sex filter that sane people are forced to keep on because we want to be respectable people in society. Meanwhile, the retards and crazies are masturbating in the library or at the public pool, running around showing their genitals to people and once in the bedroom, pretty fantastic performers if you can get past the smells and crazy sounds that come out of their mouths.

Here’s Amy Winehouse running around in her bra, lookin’ like something out of a horror movie and making me want to fuck her brittle teeth out of her mouth.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bra

2008

10

May

stepLINKS of the Day

Last night, I was bored and had no money so I ended up drinking a couple of 40s in the park. I ended up running into an old friend who wanted some hookers and I decided to go along for the ride because I was drunk and had nothing better to do. We drove through the seedy part of town that isn’t even that seedy but it is where the whores hang out on the street and couldn’t find any. I told him that the best he could find was a couple of tranny bitches to suck his dick up the street and that it’s not that gay considering all they do is suck your dick, look a lot like actual girls and even have fake tits for you to play with. He wanted to check out the goods before making a decision that he knew would be a huge turning point in his life and that he wasn’t 100 percent sure he wanted to explore. When we got to their corner the 3 tranny whores jumped into a cab so we decided to follow them like we were spies or some shit. We ended up losing them because we couldn’t really keep up to the cab and my friend was forced to go home and jerk off alone since he couldn’t afford an actual escort and I came home to my wife, who despite having a vagina doesn’t look half as good as the trannies who don’t.

I guess the point of this post is to say that it is summer outside and I’ve been out scoping chicks in short skirts all day and you should be too, but if you’re not, here are my links.

The Mom I’d Like To Fuck Index:
GO

Lohan Won’t Be in the Manson Movie After All
GO

2 Girls, 1 Ice Cream
GO

Jayden Nicole is Playmate of the Year
GO

A Good Solution or Drunk or Busy Parents
GO

I Hate Katherine Heigl, and Apparently, So Does Everyone Else
GO

Rachel Leah Cook Shows Off Her Cleavage
GO

Some Tits at the Bar Drinkin’
GO

Bridget Marquardt Gallery
GO

How to Escape from Handcuffs the Next Time You Get Arrested for Being a Peeping Tom
GO

The Upskirt Test
GO

Lohan’s Leggings Collection With Built in Knee Pads
GO

It’s Friday, Find a Girl to Fuck
GO

The People of Burma Can Sleep Well Knowing That Kim Kardashians Ass if Behind Them
GO

Sluts doing Slutty Things You Tell Them To Do
GO

An Amazing Japanese Gameshow Where You’re Not Allowed to Laugh or you Get Paddled
GO

Hugh Hefner Wants Miley in Playboy
GO

Oh, and So is Mark Ronson
GO

Latoya Jackson is All Kind of Sexy, and by Sexy I Mean She Looks Like She Got Hit in the Face With a Bat
GO

Paris Hilton is Made of Wax, and Wants to Get Married
GO

Whitney Verses Britney!
GO

Topless Beach Hotties
GO

Lesbians in the Sun
GO

Enough Porn to Keep You Busy Until God Knows When
GO “target=”_blank”> GO

Julia is a Webcam Slut
GO

Slut Give Birth to 14 Inch Dildo
GO

Some Hot Brunette That is Good At Being Hott
GO

Ahhhhh Cindy Crawford
GO

A Nice Collection of Booty to End the Week Off Proper
GO

Celeb Nip Slip Collection
GO

Nicole Graves Body Painting Session
GO

The Best Thing to Help You Find Sex, Next to Alcohol
GO “target=”_blank”> GO

Lohan is a Cry Baby
GO

Paris Spreads Her Herpes All Ove GQ Russia
GO

Hayden Panty Airs is Still Banging That Cradle Robber
GO

Christina Milian Looking Good at Some Event that Doesn’t Matter
GO

And Now, a Trailer for the Best Movie Ever
GO

An Amazing Product from Japan Which is Only Outshone By It’s Amazing Commercial
GO

Petra Nemcova Legs in Vancouver
GO

Some Dude’s List of 100 Hot Asses
GO

Top 10 Superhero Topless Scenes
GO

Things I Did Last Night
GO

Some Indian Actress’s Nipple
GO

Israeli Flag Body Painted on Some Slut
GO

Some Hot Aussie Named Masha Lund in Ralph Magazine
GO

Some Dude Pops 23 Collars
GO

Top 10 Signs Your Mom is a Cougar
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Girl Posing In Her Underwear
GO

Some Party Slut Gets Naked
GO

Some Topless Asian
GO

Some Naked in Public Nude
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized

2008

10

May

Bai Ling’s Manhandled Nipple Slip of the Day

It turns out that I am not much of a people person. I was walking by a hair salon earlier today and saw some 18 year old crying in the entrance. I asked her what the problem was and she told me that she was being ripped off by the owner of the hair salon, who told her the dye job would cost 100 dollars and the last time she got it done it cost 80 but was willing to pay the difference.

When she went to pay he dropped a 200 dollar bill on her and she couldn’t pay it because she only had the 100 dollars and he wasn’t letting her leave. I decided to try my hand at negotiation by pretending I was her dad and that I wasn’t going to stand for them ripping her off. I figured if I played the hero she would invite me to her teenage sex parties so that I could see what Oprah was talking about.

Either way, I tell the dude she’s only got 100 dollars on her, she was told it was 100 dollars and now they are demanding more out of her and she’s just not going to pay because it’s unethical. I told the dude that he was a con artist and even 100 dollars for a hair dye job was fuckin’ crazy and I should have expected it from a Moroccan snake oil salesman. Dude got fuckin’ mad, raised his voice, banned me from his hair salon and said if he was a conartist why would have such a strong clientele. To which I responded that he caters to his mother’s Moroccan synagogue group who support him to save face and have too much disposable income because their husbands give it to them to keep themselves occupied since they have nothing better to do and think it makes their ugly Moroccan faces look better all while they are out fuckin’ younger non-Morrocan bitches because everyone knows Moroccans are the scum of the earth.

He was still not willing to change the price on the poor girl and called the police or fake called the police like a little bitch who puts more importance on money than on being a good person. I always heard that Moroccan’s were the sleaziest money grubbing motherfuckers out there but thought that a Moroccan Jew who sucks penis would be different. I was wrong. Either way, the girls friend came and paid the difference for her, we all went our separate ways, and I wasn’t the hero.

I figured these pictures of Bai Ling were appropriate since they are of a big brown man – man-handling her even as her tit falls out of her bikini like he just doesn’t give a fuck about her, because he doesn’t, he just cares about the money.

Posted in:Bai Ling|Manhandled|Nipple Slip

2008

09

May

From the Forum of the Day

So the Forum still hasn’t be shut down, but probably will be. It’s just that crazy. Here’s some shit going on up in that bitch that can get you through the rest of your day because it will give you the illusion of having a voice of your own in this big scary world while hiding behind a computer. It’s the internet way.

Check it out.

———Music———

Bruce Springsteen – Nebraska
GO

Eve’s Plum
GO

Spoon – Gimme Fiction
GO

The Power Station
GO

ET Soundtrack
GO

Mystikal – Let’s Get Ready
GO

Ratt
GO

Flesh-N-Bone — 5TH DOG LET LOOSE
GO

Meat Loaf – 3 Bats live
GO

Flashback: The Best of .38 Special
GO

Corinne Bailey Rae
GO

Ringo Starr – Liverpool 8
GO

Chris Whitley – Soft And Dangerous Shores
GO

Leona Lewis – Twilight
GO

Puddle of Mudd – Abrasive
GO

———Comedy Albums———

Rodney Carrington- Greatest Hits
GO

———Celebs———

Rachel Bilson and her dog visit a cafe
GO

Paris Hilton in GQ
GO

Shakira and her Ass
GO

More Shakira
GO

Rihanna has an Ass
GO

Eva Mendes in Panties
GO

———Porn———

Boob Flashing
GO

Playb*y’s College Girls
GO

Real Vida Guerra Nudes
GO

Slutty Dee pours milk all over her naked body
GO

Nudes or Fakes?
GO

———E-books———

Encyclopedia of Foods
GO

Crimeware: Understanding New Attacks and Defenses
GO

The Complete Aquarium guide
GO

PhotoReading
GO

Web Marketing for Dummies
GO

———Software———

ArcSoft TotalMedia Extreme
GO

Trick Style
GO

———Movies and TV Shows———

Street Kings
GO

UFC 51, 43, and 31
GO

———Sex Talk———

This guy will die of AIDS no matter what the tests say
GO

Posted in:Forum

2008

09

May

Liz Hurley’s Hot Tits of the Day

Here are Liz Hurley’s tits. I am sick of writing about tits. I am also sick of other people writing about tits. There is more to life than celebrity tits and obsessing over them in virginal writing.

I have always preferred grabbin and suckin’ tits than talkin about tits or obsessing over tits because talking about tits and obsessing over tits reminds me of the group of loser dudes on their couch together watching movies while everyone else is at the high school orgy eating high school pussy.

Either way, here are Liz Hurley’s tits.

Posted in:Hot Tits|Liz Hurley

2008

09

May

Tori Spelling’s Got Some Hot Mom Tits of the Day

One of the stranger things that I remember from TV in the nineties was trying to make sense of Tori Spelling’s breast dent after her dad bought her a set of tits on 90210. I think it had to do with her being pigeon chested like this dude I know who was born pre-mature to a drug and alcohol addicted mother and grew up to have the weirdest shaped borderline crippled body that lead to him wearing numerous braces and harnesses so that he wouldn’t fall apart when he banged his wife. She told me it was like fucking a cyborg…a very frail asthmatic cyborg.

One of the stranger things that I remember since the nineties is that some meal ticket motherfucker actually got it on with Tori Spelling to the point of knockin’ her up twice. That’s about the level of knocking up, where using the “I was drunk” excuse doesn’t fly.

I’d still bang her and her saturated womb, but that’s cuz she’ll always be the virgin on 90210 for me and I kinda have a crush on virgins. The truth is that I don’t actually like virgins because they are either too young or too socially awkward but I pretend I do for the sake of posts, that’s just how versatile I am.

Posted in:Hot|Tits|Tori Spelling

2008

09

May

Natasha Hamilton Performing

Natasha Hamilton is the Ginger Haired from Atomic Kitten who’s camp fire vagina makes you want to roast mashmallows instead of have sex. This is her in some pub in her hometown dressed like a jackass with a bunch of other jackasses doing some jackass performance because clearly her Atomic Kitten career hasn’t been as lucrative as she hoped and she’s trying to make ends meet. I have nothing more to say about this pictures and that’s why I decided to write John Tesh another email.

Dear John Tesh,

I wrote you yesterday, but didn’t hear back from you. I am actually pretty hurt that I went out of my way to reach out and was just ignored like a second rate citizen. I tell myself that it’s probably because you get tons of email, but I think that it’s because you have it out for me. Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one.

I read on your site that you can get a much better sleep if you wear your socks to bed. I decided to try it out, because in my youth I used to sleep with a condom on to protect my goods in the dirty sheets I would sleep on. It didn’t help much mainly because it constantly slipped off due to my lack of girth.

I mentioned yesterday that I am pretty poor so I don’t own any socks, but figured I’d try using plastic bags that I got a few weeks ago while collecting cans out of the garbage on the side of the street. The sound of their ruffling kept me up, despite being completely inebriated and I woke up with a pretty disgusting rash. Since I don’t have medical insurance, I figured I’d reach out to you, since you got me in this mess in the first place, and ask if you have any advice to make it go away. Do you think it is just an allergic reaction or could it be something more serious that I caught from wearing dirty bags like the Flesh Eating Disease, Lupus or even Aids.

I hope you can find the time in your busy schedule to get back to me on this,

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Natasha Hamilton|Ridiculous

2008

09

May

Gemma Atkinson in Her Red Bikini For Communism in Cuba of the Day


Here’s some Gemma Atkinson Bikini Pictures from Cuba, where she’s enjoying the friendly people, the beautiful beaches and the warm Caribbean Ocean, something that you’ll never be able to do because you government hates Cuba and has been trying to make them go bankrupt the last 50 years in hopes of taking the motherfuckin’ place over and turning it into a Peurto Rico or Hawaii.

I know that I wouldn’t be so down or so quick to call myself the land of the free when the government will arrest me if I step foot into a resort island that everyone else in the fuckin’ world has been enjoying for affordable vacations all these years. I know some people who have spent some time in Cuba and when I ask them how it was they all say amazing because there were no Americans, so maybe it’s better for the rest of the world that you stay the fuck out of Cuba, I’ve seen what happens when you visited Iraq and that kind of behavior would probably discourage chicks to tan with their fatty tits.

Either way, here’s Gemma with her retarded tits in her Red Bikini for Communism in Cuba.

Posted in:Bikini|Gemma Atkinson

2008

09

May

Tyra Runs a Fetish Show of the Day

So Tyra Banks gets some dude who has some weird sexual fetish on her show. This dude gets off when girls stomp on him, so when he brings a girl home from the bar, he doesn’t try to stick his dick in her, he tries to get her to walk all over him.

So Tyra’s decides to show the public the dude’s fetish by 12 girls from the audience to walk all over the motherfucker and for a dude who gets off to being stomped on by 1 chick, this has to be like having a fuckin’ orgy. It’s on some paradise the suicide bombers reach with their 78 virgins or whatever the fuck they get, only in this case Tyra is god. It’s like telling her that I like blowjobs and I show up to find 12 everyday girls with their mouth opens ready to service me, only blow jobs would get censored from tv, but dudes who get of to getting walked on is considered fine for out kids to see. It’s a little backwards and part of the reason my wife won’t suck my dick, but would love to try walking all over me, she finds the whole concept fascinating after watching the show and her friend’s house and actually came home asking me to try it out but I won’t let her, partially because neither this fetish nor my wife turn me on but mainly because of safety reasons because she’s pushing 300 lbs and she’ll shatter my rib cage, make my organs explode and I’m not in the mood to di

Posted in:Fetish|Tyra Banks