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Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day

Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day

Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day

Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day

Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day

2008

Apr

Rita G and Her XXL Video Shoot of the Day

2 Comments »

My computer is running like shit, which is kinda to be expected since I got it for 40 dollars 2 years ago, but I’m still posting today, even if it takes me a long fucking time to do it. I guess it doesn’t matter, what does matter is this Rita G video shoot for XXL magazine. Rita G is the hot chick from the Kanye video you all jerk off to when watching MTV between episodes of The Hills.

I don’t read XXL magazine cuz I am not Urban enough and by Urban I mean black or a white kid in the suburbs who thinks I am black. I do however have jungle fever now and it all started last week with Serena Willams in a bikini, not because it brought back my first memories of the zoo as a little immigrant kid, but because it reminded me that in all my sexual conquests I have never got a chance to experience a black girl.

I never really investigated why this has never gone down, I think it’s gotta do with the way I look, the size of my little penis and maybe my fear of black girls because they look like they’d hurt me if I got out of line with them. So I’ve never pursued them, I’ve never been in their circle and never really had a chance to even socialize with them.

This weekend, I went to my local stripclub and this tall, thin, hot dark skinned black girl with an insane body was on stage and I was hooked. I told her she was the hottest girl in the place and all she wanted was me to pay her for a dance. I had no money but I did cross paths with her on the way to the bathroom and she was talking to her friend about how her dress got stolen and how it was a 400 dollar Liz Claiborne. She was running her mouth off about how she doesn’t fuck around and that she’s not like other strippers and is classy but will still kill this other whore, so I decided to chime in and said “I thought all strippers were classy, where I am from getting naked for money and letting guys grab your tits for money is considered high society, but then again I am one step away from being homeless and I haven’t changed my underwear in 4 days”.

As she stared back at me like she was going to kill me with her fake Chanel earrings shining back at me, I realized that she didn’t find my joke funny and either did I, but she wasn’t charmed by me and needless to say, I have still never got with a black girl.

Posted in:Ass|Rita G

2008

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

I guess it’s Friday, that’s what everyone’s telling me. I really have no concept of days since I just sit on the computer everyday and it all looks and feels the same but I guess that means I should take my getting drunk to the next level because I don’t plan on posting here tomorrow and can afford to wake up in the gutter in my own vomit.

I plan on sleeping, sexually harassing girls on the internet and possibly something else that I haven’t quite figured but will probably involve me sitting, since it’s my hobby. I know you don’t care about reading this and strippers are waiting to be paid ten dollars to let me put my magical typing hands all over their tits and that’s just what I am going to go do.

Speaking of Facebook, I am lookin’ for friends – Add me to Facebook
GO

And Now….Here are my links:

Fergie is a clown you want to fuck…
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Some Lola Luv to End The Week Off Right
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Megan Fox Topless Girl on Girl Fight….
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Some More Pictures of Carla Bruni Naked
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Ingrid Coronado Panty Upskirt Video
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The Best Part of Your Weekend Right Here
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Create Your Own Podcast
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Get Sex, It’s Fun
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A Nice Karolina Kurkova Gallery
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Sexy Webcam Time!
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More Over the Hills
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This Slut Might Be Your Daughter and I Might Have to Teach Her a Few Things about Being a Slut
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And Now, Some Haitian News…
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Britney May Be Getting Another Reality Show
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Paris Hilton Is Having Trouble Finding a New Best Friend
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Parents of the Year
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Find Girls to Fuck
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Vanessa Minnillo is Still Alive and Worth Fucking
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I Just Don’t Get Madonna
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Vanilla Ice Got Arrested Again
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Some Hot Japanese Chick Flops in a Pool
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Ultimate Hot Chick Competition
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Get the FUCK Off My Car…Get it?
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Pristine is Pristine
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Cameron Diaz Should Have Been a Zooligist
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Scary Spice Topless on the Beach
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Find Porn Here
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Making Cents
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Happy Birthday Alessandra Ambrosio You Pregnant Slag….
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Broads and Guns
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More Real Girls You’d Want to Fuck
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Nikki Brooks is a Whore
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Miley Cyrus Needs to Calm Down
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Furthermore, WTF Is Going on in Her Bedroom?
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Anna Tatangelo Give Guys Boners
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Stacy Dash is 42 Years Old and Lookin FINE!
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2 Girls Showing Their Tits Together
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My Kind of Political Announcement
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The Bitch From Weeds is Back on the Market
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Pics from the Hooters Bikini Contest
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A Couple of Slutty Sisters
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Some Amateur Chick Masturbating Video
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Some Sofia Loren Vintage Nudes Worth Lookin’ At
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WHOA NELLA! You slut….
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Some Guys Huge Breasted Chick Naked and Cummed On
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Some Hot Booty Compilation
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Some Tanned Bitch Modeling Her Micro Bikini Video
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FROM THE FORUM

The Breeders
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How Do You Deal with a Hangover
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Weird Fetishes
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The Megas
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Timbaland
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Nina Simone
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Stevie Wonder
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Gianna Michaels
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Sara Stone
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Cheney and the Naked Woman
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Interpol – Our Love to Admire DVD EP
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Gomez – In Our Gun
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New Order – Substance
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Interpol – Mammoth
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Liz Phair Bootlegs
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Karen Ann – Self-Titled
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Mariah Carey – Unplugged
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The Gorillaz – G-Sides
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The Shins – When You Land Here
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It Winks
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Stacey Dash Nipples
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Snakes on the Mofo plane!
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Anatomicallt Correct Lamp
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The Boobies
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Erotique Feels Herself
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Random Slut
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A Bunch of Sluts
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Tera Patrick and Some Lingerie Trashy Fashion Show of the Day

10 Comments »

Tera Patrick and her wallet fucking ugly Jewish husband have a lingerie line and this is her classy fashion show starring pornstars in Vegas. It’s not all that hot but I figure you like porn stars and the lingerie they sell because they are pretty much the only girls willing to get naked for you and by you I mean anyone willing to buy their DVDs or download their pictures on the computer because I can’t imagine anyone paying for porn this generation. Trashy, tacky and very little clothes comes with the territory of being a slut but despite being cheesy people they look like they have more fun than me. The highlight of the video is when her pervert husband tries to lift up the host’s skirt and that’s when I realized that being a cheesy pervert, marrying a pornstar and fully absorbing yourself in this smutty lifestyle seems like a pretty good life, once you get past the fact that you’re lame, dress like a clown and have cheesy tattoos on your head to justify your balding Jewish accountant roots.

Posted in:Lingerie|Tera Patrick

2008

Apr

Mila Kunis Lookin’ Good at her Movie Premiere of the Day

11 Comments »

I have a feeling that this Forgetting Sarah Marshall shit is going to be big. They marketed it smart and tricked people into thinking that some guy was actually trying to get revenge on an ex no name actress by buying billboards, at least really stupid people fell for it. This is Mila Kunis at the premiere.

The thought of Macaulay Culkin getting up in this on the daily is a testament to how life sucks. My only explanation is that she used to rub up against the corner of her mattress when she was 12 watching his movies and meeting him was like a dream come true for her. That or dude’s got a huge dick and after a night of getting high together, because I remember Macaulay being some kind of addict, he introduced her to it.

I was at some Family Guy reading that someone gave me tickets to the other year. The entire cast was there, including Mila Kunis who I wanted to fuck then as much as I want to fuck her now and it was in some old theater. I remember Macaulay walking out and sitting in the crowd and I tried harassing him.

I started by screaming his name and everyone in the theater cheered, then I tried throwing random shit at him, I started with popcorn but he was about 10 rows ahead of me then I decided in a drunken rage to throw my can of coke I brought in while screaming “hey Culkin, I hear you like coke” and I missed. Shit ended up landing one some bitch and I got escorted out for my bad joke and disrupting something as important as the Family Guy staff party who were reading a fucking script to a crowd of virgins.

Point of my story is that I’ll never forgive him for ruining my night and now you can hate him too because he’s fuckin’ this.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Hayden Panettiere’s Sexual Harassment Video of the Day

9 Comments »

I’ve made it clear that I hate Will Ferrell and everything dude’s involved in, including this Funny or Die bullshit, but I had no choice to post it because Hayden Panettiere is talking about being sexually harassed and that’s pretty much the funniest thing I’ve heard today. So I guess Will Ferrell knows funny, but considering I don’t talk to anyone, that’s not saying much, but I can only assume she assumes guys are sexually harassing her when they challenge her to a wrestling match, what she doesn’t know is that there’s a bet between the guys that they won’t win and they are trying to save face.

I guess none of that matters, here’s Hayden’s shoulders doing some stupid PSA comedy clip that isn’t funny, but proves that perverts are addicted to pussy and don’t necessarily give a fuck what that pussy is attached to, like a crack addict searching through the sewer for a rock he thinks he saw some cheap whore drop earlier that day. Crazy crackheads. It’s also Hayden Panettiere’s passive aggressive way of telling us not to objectivfy her or she’ll crush us like she crushed the bench press before shooting this.

Posted in:Comedy|Hayden Panettiere

2008

Apr

Tara Reid’s is a Star Party Girl of the Day

4 Comments »

Tara Reid is a machine and parties all the time. I don’t think she gets enough credit for the work that she does because going out is a total pain in the ass. Everyone hates on her for being useless but the truth is that she draws a crowd when she hits these clubs like some d-list rockstar and she’s constantly bringing her A-game.

I know when I get wasted in barsI am pretty much tapped out for a week. I get 2 day hangovers and usually don’t leave my bed until my wife gets into it but that’s just because there’s not enough room for the two of us. That’s life as a fat man with a fat wife and that’s probably part of the reason why I don’t have the same kind of stamina as Tara Reid.

The good news is that I still drink everyday, but there’s just something easier about getting wasted in a gutter alone than having to make conversation with useless people while trying to look your best, which is something I never have to do because I’m no miracle worker and can’t help but look like a wreck. I guess that’s just one of the many reason’s I’m not like Tara Reid, other reasons include not having fake tits, not having money, not being someone people want to have sex with and not wearing my wallpaper out as a dress because I don’t even have wallpaper. I know…I’m pretty much good for nothing.

Posted in:Party Girl|Tara Reid

2008

Apr

Kristin Cavallari’s Ass in Jeans of the Day

3 Comments »

Not only is Kristin Cavallari useless, but so is her ass, and here it is in a pair of jeans. One of entertainment’s big mysteries is that people actually watch The Hills. I have been forced to watch a few clips of the shit and seeing the scripted bullshit and horrible acting, confuses me. I just don’t understand the appeal. I also don’t understand how shit got on the air in the first place, let alone becoming a success. It’s one of those shows that makes me want to kill myself because it’s popularity makes me realize just how doomed our world is. I know that may sound a little dramatic like I’m some kind of Liza Minnelli dancing around on stage, making a big deal out of nothing, but the truth is that making celebrities out of people who are shit and pimping out shows that are shit and seeing it work despite being shit makes me think the majority of the world is shit and there’s no hope for me despite also being shit by on a different level of shit that can’t relate to this shit.

Posted in:Ass|Kristin Cavallari

2008

Apr

Jamie Lynn Spears Pregnancy Shorts of the Day

8 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears wearing a bit more clothes than she was when she got into this whole mess that she doesn’t think is a mess because she’s a good little child of God and abortions don’t exist in her world, but unprotected premarital sex does, which is kind of hypocritical if you ask me, which you didn’t because my opinion doesn’t really matter.

I fuckin’ love teenage pregnancy and every teenage girl I have ever accidentally knocked up has had abortions, but that was pretty much my doing because I didn’t want the burden, lawsuit, jail time or commitment to a fat lonely girl with daddy issues who turned to me to fill her void and all it really took was a good punch to the stomach. You’d be surprised how fragile a uterus actually is….. I always thought they’d be a hell of a lot more resilient.

Either way, I like to think whoever got her knocked up fucked up, because she was just starting her career up and hasn’t had enough time to really peak in her career. I predict it’s all down hill from here, because I’ve seen young girls bounce back pretty well from this kind of thing, but they never fully bounce back. Not to mention how annoying it will be on the set of her next movie when she keeps having to stop to feed her baby while studying for her GED.

The good news is that this is a story of trash that we all get to take part in, because teenage pregnancy usually happens in small towns with girls no one really cares for and the only people who get to laugh about it are their neighbors and people in their class. Now the whole world gets to take part in the fun of something as beautiful as a kid giving birth to a kid because she decided she wasn’t a kid the night she was letting an older dude shove his unprotected dick in her and cum inside her because she didn’t take sex ed classes while being tutored on set and had no idea the implications of her actions. Good times….

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Spears|Short|Teenage Pregnancy

2008

Apr

Britney Spears in Her Backyard Getting Stalked of the Day

7 Comments »

So the paparazzi are on my ass for publishing harassing emails they send me and for posting images they claim are theirs even though I find them on forums and shit. I’ve decided to start a war against them, I just haven’t really figured out how I am going to do it because I am poor and in Canada.

I guess what it comes down to is that I find it insane that people can make millions of dollars taking pictures of celebrities like this. Here is Britney Spears in her backyard and some motherfucker got the exclusive by either hiding in her bushes or on her neighbors roof and I know that If I ever did something like this, I’d be arrested.

I know when I take pictures of girls tanning in their backyards or at the park, I always feel like I am going to get caught, so I try to set the camera up to either be hidden or like I am a photography student trying to get a shot of the tree they are next to. Crawling in bushes and shit is just too risky for me and something I’d only do at night andI never actually put the shit online, let alone sell it to magazines and websites for insane prices.

I guess the point of this post is to say the paparazzi do illegal shit to get their pictures and profit from the shit so I think it’s hypocritical that me posting pictures I deem where illegally taken as being copyright protected. It’s like a drug dealer trying to sue someone for not paying for weed you sold them. Shit just can’t hold up in court.

This post isn’t funny, and that’s because I am depressed. Hold me.

Some Bonus That’s Not Really Bonus of Britney Made Up and Showing Some Tit to Go With Her Fat Chin….

Posted in:Backyard|Britney Spears|stalker

2008

Apr

Serena Williams Lookin’ Hot in a Bikini of the Day

19 Comments »

I’d say that these are pictures of Kim Kardashian in a bikini because I like bad jokes, but I don’t want to lie to you guys for the sake of a bad joke. The truth is that this bitch is the complete opposite of Kim Kardashian because she’s actually an athlete, while Kardashian just sits around and eats all day. Sure, she looks fatter than the widow who spends her days at Dunkin Donuts since her husband died since she doesn’t know what to do with herself but eat because he was her life, but the truth is that she’s some kind of champion.

I am guessing that she’s bulky as fuck because of extreme muscles, like this old body builder I drink with who did his fair share of steroids but now looks like Oprah, but all I see when I look at her is some kind of pro wrestler and not a dainty little tennis player and that’s probably why she always wins, it’s like going up against a tank and usually tanks are hard to take out.

I am convinced that she’s one of those Ladybug situations, where a dude dresses like a girl and cleans up because guys are better than girls at sports, but I guess no matter what she is she’s disgusting and here she is in a bikini…..

Posted in:Bikini|Serena Williams|Tennis