I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

01

Apr

Kardashian Sisters Teach Their Young Sister About Her Period of the Day

I didn’t know that the Kardashians had a younger version, but then again I don’t watch the show and have pretty much no interest in this family, but thought it was funny that Kim Kardashian wasn’t teaching her sister about shoving things in her vagina or bleeding from her uterus because you’d think it was something she was good at, but instead she just sat there under her blanket like the diva cunt that she is. So if puberty is your fetish, this videos for you. I am just waking up and late as per usual, something Kim Kardashian is also probably used to and probably another reason why she doesn’t want to teach her sister about her body.

Bonus: Here are the Kardashian Sisters on Chelsea Lately Because I’ve Seen Her Show and She’s Kinda Funny even though I am too sad to laugh and expect to be on her show one day because she’s pretty low budget.

Part 2:

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Period|puberty

2008

01

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

So it turns out that the paparazzi do not like the little guy and are trying to stomp me out. I have been getting attacked by these fuckers for the last 2 years but a lot more often in the last 2 months. The future of celebrity blogs is pretty much over for anyone who makes less than 10,000 dollars a month (me) because these agencies charge you 5,000 for access to their pictures a month, or they charge you for each picture used which can be upwards of 20,000 dollars for one post. Totally insane it seems, but all my pictures are emailed to me, so I only assume they belong to the person who emails me but it turns out that these paparazzi agencies like to think they belong to them. I always remove the pictures when I get a warning because I honestly just assume they are free for me to do my commentary to since they are found objects and since I don’t want to mess with evil people, it’s easier to just trust their evil word.

Today I got a fuckin’ invoice from one of the agencies for 55,000 dollars:

To Whom it May Concern

We are writing you because it seems we are having a continuous
problem with your use of our pictures on your site, illegally. We have attached an invoice with total amount due up to this point for the pictures you have used. You must pay this amount within the next 30 day or we will take further legal actions.
You may contact Nicolas at 323-833-7042 if you have any further questions.

Thanks
Jamie
Flynet Pictures LLC

This was my response:

To whom it may concern,

I never contracted images from your company and have no working business relationship with Flynet LLC. I have no idea what images you are referencing and invoicing me for, however I can assure you that these images were never purchased from your company. This invoice is not valid and has wrongfully issued to drunkenstepfather.com.

However, I am glad you reached out because I have linked FlynetOnline.com and sent 6,000 clicks at a rate of 100 dollars per click, amounting to 60,000 dollars.

Attached you will find the invoice,

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

This isn’t the end of the site, no one can bring me down, but they are fucking trying. I can’t afford to fight this shit so I may have to change the format of the site so if anyone has exclusive pics of celebs, or goes out in LA and snaps pics and gives them to me, I will give you presents and by presents I mean nude pics of my wife, which aren’t exactly a treat but they are the best I can do.

Here are my links:

Jennifer Aniston Poses With Ass Cracks…Everyone Click This Fuckin’ Link….
GO

Vanity Fair’s Senior Citizen Exclusive!!
GO

And Now, The Best 30 Seconds of Your Day
GO

Undo Your Mom’s Bra With One Hand
GO

Paris Hilton Busts Up Her Already Busted Face
GO

Nip Slips With the Stars
GO

Use This to Find Sex,Cause You Need all The Help You Can Get
GO

Hello Elsa Benitez and your Nakedness
GO

What the Fuck Did Lara Flynn Boyle Do to Her Face?
GO

Something You Can Never Have because You Don’t Leave Your House
GO

Start Your Week Off Right with a Sex Show
GO

Fat Man Eats 5 Double Cheeseburgers
GO

Obama Girl Versus Hilary Girl Cry for Fame
GO

Top 10 Big Breasted Weather Girls
GO

A Reader Wants to Know if This is Sarah Silverman
GO

If IT’s High Res Enough, I Guess She’s Not REALLY Naked, But Whatever
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Well, It’s Official, I Am Moving to Isreal
GO

Whoever Told You Sex Was More Fun Alone Was Wrong
GO

Why Can’t Every Cancer Survivor Look Like Kylie Minogue?
GO

Rock of Love 2: Gangbangin’ Daisy
GO

I Am Pretty Sure Madonna Could Kick The Shit Out of Both You and Me
GO

Whoa! Time For Some More Surgey Janice Dickenson’s Ass
GO

Turn Your PC Into a Media Host for Your PS3
GO

Brenda Walsh is Still Alive?
GO

Porn Galore Cheaper than a Whore
GO

More Face Plants Off the Pole
GO

Remote Control Sex!
GO

Make a Ketchup Bottle Explode!
GO

A Little Bit of Christy Hemme
GO

Some Vibrator Pleasure, For Her and Your Pleasure
GO

Jessica Alba is Massive
GO

Jessica Simpson is in the Hospital
GO

Next Time I Wear a Suit (Prolly at my Funeral) I Am Going To Wear This Tie
GO

Luscious Perscilla is a Hustler
GO

Heather Mills is a Really Respectable Women
GO

Lindsey Lohan to Kill Sharon Tate All Over Again
GO

Some Music Video From Some Country I’ve Never Been To That I Think Is Funny
GO

If THis Was Me, I Would Have Slugged the Bitch
GO

SNL Hates AShley Simpson and I Hate SNL
GO

Nekkid Bowling!!
GO

Candice Michelle Gives a Nude Lap Dance
GO

She’s Got Amy Winehouse Eyes
GO

Reader James Leary Does Standup
GO

Krystal Forscutt is Monday’s Pick Me Up
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl’s Homemade Nudes
GO

Some Sluts Tits
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

The Kooks – Konk
GO

Kaki King – Until We Felt red
GO

Papa Roach – Infest
GO

The Raconteurs – LIVE in Chicago
GO

Moby – Hotel
GO

Metric – Grow Up and Blow Away
GO

Yelle – Pop-Up
GO

Neil Young – Greatest Hits
GO

The Cure – Mixed Up
GO

King Crimson – 1972
GO

The 5th Element OST
GO

Dance With Me OST
GO

Westward 2 Heroes of the Frontier
GO

Paragon Partition Manager 9.0 Pro
GO

Slightly Used Rubber Fist for Sale
GO

Nikie Feels Herself
GO

Young With Big Tits
GO

Ass for dayyyyys
GO

Elbow – Asleep in the Back
GO

The Runaways
GO

Kenny G – Paradise
GO

The Kills – Midnight Boom
GO

Evanescence – Anywhere but Home
GO

Marvin Gaye’s Greatest Hits
GO

Steve Aoiki – Pillowface
GO

Paul McCartney – Back in the World
GO

Fatboy Slim – Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars
GO

Dont spend your raise
GO

Teach Yourself HTML in 10 minutes
GO

Your Old and Have a Small Penis
GO

Falcon Punch!!
GO

Meagan Foxx = Foxxy
GO

Goh Feels Herself
GO

Liana Shevchenko is HOTT!
GO

Random Amatuers
GO

More Young and Top Heavy
GO

Teachers having Sex With Students
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

31

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Booty of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Lohan isn’t my internet girlfriend anymore, I’ve moved on from her like everyone else has. I just don’t find her worth harassing anymore and she hasn’t really been that responsive to my emails, phone calls or myspace messages and she’s not very hot. I thought she would be my meal ticket, but I just can’t have this one-way relationship anymore and I have given up.

Last week I reached out to her Lesbian cock on Facebook and she never responded to me so in memory of a Lohan that was once worth fuckin and who was once going to be the girl who makes me relevant, here are some pictures of her from the side in a pair of tight pants that show off her booty. Since I am a fan of booty and tight pants pants are the reason I leave my house and hang out at college campuses like I am the dirty professor until security escorts me out for propositioning random girls to pose naked for me in my art class I don’t actually teach, here’s Lohan’s ass doing good things proving that sometimes weight gain is a good thing since Lohan never had a good ass, the problem with weight gain is that it never stops when the tits and ass are full, and it’s never too long before the stomach and rest of her follows their lead.

See the Images Here
GO

Posted in:Ass|Booty|Lindsay Lohan

2008

31

Mar

Tara Reid Hangs With Men in Miami of the Day

It was the Winter Music Conference in Miami this past week and I wanted to send someone there to get video footage of all the crazy party people high on drugs, but the WMC decided that my site wasn’t legit or cool enough to cover their shitty week of club djs and I got rejected, so I had to tell the unemployed dude in Miami who owned a video camera that his dreams of being an online TV producer for a shitty site no one reads will have to wait until I trick the WMC that the site isn’t a waste of internet space next year, which turns out to be a pretty hard task because I kinda agree with them.

These are some pictures of Tara Reid on the beach in Miami during the WMC with various men who I can only assume are DJs, club promoters and drug dealers who are in town to support their party lifestyle/industry, because she’s a staple in the club scene internationally and probably won some kind of award for being at the most parties in the last 5 years than any other living human being. I think whatever trophy she got will look good next to her haggard cocaine face, or even next to her old liver she had bronzed after she finally scored that transplant of the liver she stole from 18 year old party girl on Springbreak who she invited back to her room for some exclusive hotel party, at least that’s the only explanation I have for how bitch keeps going.

Posted in:Miami|Party|Slut|Tara Reid|WMC

2008

31

Mar

Hulk Hogan’s Dating His Daughter’s Twin of the Day

It’s pretty clear that Hulk Hogan likes a big woman who can handle being thrown around in the bedroom like the men he used to throw around in the ring. He also seems to like fake blonde hair, fake tits and a fake tan. It seems like his wife fit that description, then he bred his daughter to look that way and now the girl he is fucking as a distraction from his son being a murderer looks that way too.

Now, I have heard of girls dating dudes who remind them of their dads, or girls who get off to dudes who look kinda like their brothers and I’ve always been pretty uncomfortable with that but I figure when you’re from Florida trailer parks it’s pretty much par for the course, not to mention every piece of trash who works in the dinner on the interstate or at the local strip club fits the criteria so I guess it’s just some kind of creepy coincidence.

Either way, here are some pictures of Hulk and his girlfriend who looks like a younger version of his wife and an older version of his daughter and the real sad thing about the pictures is that her dick is bigger than yours.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Girlfriend|Hulk Hogan

2008

31

Mar

Sarah Larson’s Drunken Party Pics of the Day

George Clooney met a cocktail waitress in Vegas and made her his girlfriend and everyone is so fuckin’ shocked that she was some kind of slutty party girl. The way I see it, if any girl moves to Vegas, it’s usually because she’s slutty, likes money and likes partying. So they go to the best city in the USA for that and end up making money some way or another with their tits, whether it’s working the Casino’s in costume, working the clubs as GoGo dancers or being some kind of escort to high profile rich guys who are on a weekend getaway from their wives. It turns out that Sarah Larson was paid to get drunk and slutty by a club as some kind of entertainment for their guests and here are the pictures.

People may be criticizing Clooney for dating this kind of trash, but when you are in your 40s, are accomplished in your career and have all the money in the world, it’s like a breath of fresh air to meet a young, energetic party girl who likes to fuck. She doesn’t want to go back to her old lifestyle and wants to keep dude happy so that he keeps paying her to be his own personal party slut and that’s a better life than what she was living for tons of random dudes who would just leave her in Vegas when they were done with her and had to go back to their middle managment lives after their spent their 10,000 dollar weekend party budget. So what that means is that she will suck Clooney off wheever he wants her to, and there’s really not much better than that when you’ve already made it.

If I was Clooney, the last thing I’d want is a high maintenance, whining actress who is too obsessed with her own stresses and career and money to get on all fours by my pool at my Villa in Italy forcing me to bang every other slut I meet behind her back, because despite that being more fun, it’s not a healthy way of life and comes with a whole other barrel of problems, so you might as well just lock down a slut to begin with because you know bitch isn’t going anywhere. Not to mention, she’s got a pretty hot ass, especially when crawling all up on her friend while her pussy lip is hanging out.

Posted in:Bikini|Drunk|George Clooney|Sarah Larson|Slut

2008

31

Mar

Audrina Patridge’s Stupid Tattoo Does the Pussycat Dolls of the Day

I don’t break stories and I was tipped off that this whole Audrina Patridge tattoo shit was some kind of Ashton Kutcher Punk’d the Next Generation prank on the public. So when I got this email that deciphered what looks like the shittiest Chinese character tattoo, something that looks like it was drawn on with a box of Crayola’s, that reads “Pork Fried Rice”, I knew it was a shitty joke on us and that the tattoo is faker than her tits, because the reality is that I’ve seen better fake tattoos on poor kids covered in dirt at the local fair and you know they don’t have a budget to trick us into thinkin’ that panther on their chest is real….

Sure people get ugly tattoos all the time, and sure they get Chinese symbols that don’t translate into what they think theyt translates into because the people getting Chinese character tattoos are usually clueless, yes I am talking to you, and they people giving them their shitty tattoos are usually trashy beer drinking bikers who they met at a flea market. I have seen this happen so many fuckin times, but never so big and obvious so I call lie on this shit. Not to mention Ashton’s fame died about 3 years ago and the only people he can easily recruit to do his shitty show are either friends or people starved for attention aching to be legitimately famous and who are willing to do anything to get there…someone like Audrina.

Either way, fake or not, shit’s still fuckin ugly but not as ugly as these pictures of Audrina as a Pussycat Doll because it is all her rich kid ass is good for….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Pussycat Doll|Tattoo

2008

31

Mar

Paris Hilton Falls on her Face of the Day

I wasn’t going to post today and write April’s Fool tomorrow because I figured it was a good excuse to be lazy, but since my life is pretty lazy I didn’t know that April Fool’s is tomorrow so I have to wait a full day to fool all you fuckers and now that I’ve ruined my joke, which in all honesty was really shitty but I am not really capable of thinking up a new one because that’s how useless I am.

Speaking of useless, Paris Hilton was in Turkey having a nice romantic lunch with her lesbian lover Benji Madden and the paparazzi went nuts. Stories as big as Paris Hilton being in their country just don’t happen too often in Turkey and the dumb bitch fell on her face and hit her chin.

The funniest thing in this video isn’t that Paris Hilton fell, even though we love seeing bitch on the ground in hopes that she’ll never get up. It is how Benji Madden tries to defuse the situation like a good boyfriend by trying to reason with the Paparazzi that his baby hurt herself and he wants to take care of her. Everyone knows you aren’t supposed to treat a whore like that and if she happens to get hurt in time you spend with her, you are supposed to drag her out on the street by her hair and flee the scene so that you don’t go down with her.

Unfortunately, momma’s boy Madden thinks the noble thing to do is to be a gentleman about the whole thing, so that he can take care of Paris, without realizing how much of a pussy it makes him look like. The reality is that leaving Paris on the ground in her own blood amongst rabid paparazzi is the best help he can give her. You know sometimes the best way to teach a kid how to ride a bike is to let him fall off it a few times first.

This is Paris Hilton, we’re talking about, she’s the kind of girl you try to push down the stairs, not pick back up and brush off after her awkward self trips over her huge feet, then causing a scene basically coming out of the fuckin’ closet like a little pussywhipped girl for the world to see.

Here’s a video of the Paparazzi in Turkey fighting over Paris because not much else is going on there and it’s more interesting than Benji Madden’s coming out video…

Posted in:Falls|Paris Hilton

2008

29

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email:

i know freud was full of shit but this is a great moment from your leann rimes post.

and i quote:

It’s a lot like that time you let a dude suck my dick for coke and I am not judging because one slip up doesn’t make you a fag.

This is what I said:

“I let a guy suck my dick for coke” but realized that exposing my inner most secrets were sad and not funny, so I changed it to that to see if anyone would catch on. I have this problem called not editing but I am glad you noticed, you’d win a prize because it turns out that I also suck dick for attention to detail.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are my links….

Papa Joe Shows Off His New Russian Singin’ Slut
GO

I Don’t Know Her Name, But She Is In A Bikini
GO

Let’s Give It Up for the Bikini Crew
GO

George Clooney’s Girlfriend Is a Slut. Way to Go Clooney!
GO

Alessia Merz Has No Top On
GO

Experience Sex Like You Never Have Before… With a Chick!
GO

Hello Jenny Milstead
GO

3 Girls naked in a Tent
GO

Are You Poor Like Me? Turn Your Old Underpants Into a Bra for Your Mom
GO

I Don’t Car Much For Soccar, But I Like Ads for It With Hot Chicks
GO

Eva Amurri is a Bit of a Butter Face but is Half Naked
GO

Hayden Airs-Her-Panties in a Short Red Dress
GO

Bobbi Ballard Has Got Some Big Fucking Cans
GO

Jail Bait Musical 3!!
GO

Stripper Workout Fun
GO

Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Double the Fug
GO

Get Some Exercise with Sex Doll Swimming
GO

Watch Live Sex Show on Your Computer
GO

Seduce a Girl By Being Funny. God Knows Nothing Else is going for You
GO

This is Polish Idol
GO

Make Good Use of Your Weekend Days Off. Watch Some PORN!
GO

This Sexy Chick is Working Out at the Gym
GO

Some Bad Dates You Can Prolly Relate To
GO

Heather Locklear Lookin’ Tasty
GO

And Now, Some Vibrator Pleasure
GO

I Don’t Know Who Julieta Prandi Is, But I Think I Need To Find Out
GO

Sled of Doom
GO

Here’s One Too Watch Again and Again
GO

And Now Some Rhianna
GO

Danielle Llloyd is Naked. Again. Yawn.
GO

Lauren Conrad Showing Of Her Hills
GO

Kate Beckinsale Gives Boners To Virgins…
GO

Hot Chick With a Loser
GO

College Girls Make Out
GO

Sophie Monk Looking Hott
GO

The Very Sexy Sonia
GO

The Greatest Celebrity Sex Scandals that Weren’t
GO

Ricki Lake Gives Birth Completely Naked in a Tub…Yeah…Ricki Fuckin’ Lake Naked….
GO

The Sexiest Teenaged Indian in America Posing
GO

Gisele is Skinny and Hot in a White Dress
GO

Lohan to Star in a Movie About Charles Manson
GO

An American Apparel Model Speaks Out on the Pervert Who Runs It
GO

Eating Out a Cow is Probably one of the Weirder African Traditions
GO

Some Gymnast Chick Does Her Routine With No Panties On
GO

Miss Howard TV Prefers Anal Sex To Regular Sex
GO

Some College Chick Gets Her Ass Licked for the First Tme
GO

Man Faces Charges For Having Sex With a Table
GO

Mishca Barton’s Cellulite is Hot
GO

Some Chick Posing in a Bikini Video
GO

Jennifer Leigh – Vegas Poker Player – Does Playboy
GO

Jaclyn from my Comments Does a Video Interview
GO

Jenna Jameson Looks Like Death
GO

The President of Some European Country Thinks Muslims are Taking Over and Makes a Movie About It
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Hot Trashy Chick Posing
GO

Some Photobucket Vagina
GO

Black Dripping Vagina
GO

More Vagina on Photobucket
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

Evanescence – Fallen
GO

New Found Glory – Greatest Hits
GO

Beach House – Beach House
GO

The Lost Boys Score
GO

Adobe Audition
GO

Trailer Park Tycoon
GO

Billary Clinton
GO

Denise Milani Has HUGE tits
GO

Lets Count to 100!
GO

Vote Jaclyn to Be Paris BFF
GO

Lovely Arse
GO

More Lovely Arses
GO

Young girls with Big TITS
GO

Video of your Grandma doing porn
GO

Do you like Hair Pulling?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

28

Mar

Pam Anderson is a Slut on Late Late Show of the Day

I always wondered what that shit stain on Pam Anderson’s arm was. It looked like a hand print from rough sex with a rockstar and just figured it never heeled because bitch has hepatitis and her immune system is too busy trying to keep her liver alive to heal battle wounds from being a slut, but it turns out that she was attacked by leeches when she was a kid.

I still think that line is a fuckin’ lie and the only reason she brought it up and made an excuse about it is because she is defensive and knows we all know she got it from sex but for some reason doesn’t want us knowing that she’s some kind of pornstar than doesn’t do porn professionally, because she’s a mother and needs to maintain some kind of wholesome image, proven by the tame outfit she’s wearing, her retarded fake tits, bleached hair and her gaping vagina.

I can relate to her trying to cover shit up. I remember when child services, the police and my wife’s doctor confronted me about the bruises all over her body and I stuck to my story she fell down the stairs. I know it wasn’t all that creative and that every wifebeater uses that line, but figured that they’d buy it because any real wifebeater would come up with something more believable. I made sure my wife backed up my story otherwise I’d never let her live it down and it worked so we lived happily ever after, except for the happy part.

Watch the video and try not to focus on her plastic face falling off because that’s what her tits are for.

Posted in:Leeches|old|Pam Anderson|Slut