I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

03

Mar

Ellen Page is a Lesbian on Saturday Night Live of the Day

I don’t watch Saturday Night Live because I don’t find it funny and because I don’t have a TV. Comedy sketches remind me of the weird Drama club in high school and the only thing those girls were good at was giving had jobs after convincing them that it will help them with their role in Romeo and Juliette. Knowing what a dick feels like makes the intensity of their performance more believable or some shit.

Either way, here’s lesbian Ellen Page doing a lesbian coming out of the closet skit on Saturday Night Live that didn’t make me laugh because there’s nothing funny about gay jokes, except when a group of homophobe frat boys get drunk and bust out the closet case jokes and make each other suck each other’s dicks or cum on crackers collectively while 5 of their buddies gangbang a cheerleader, because to a closet case, it’s not homo if there’s at least one vagina in the room.

I guess the lesson in this video is that if you don’t want a lesbian daughter, don’t name her Ellen.

Posted in:Ellen Page|Lesbian|Saturday Night Live

2008

03

Mar

Kristin Cavallari and Her Beater Want Attention of the Day

Here are some pictures of useless Kristin Cavallari posing for the paparazzi in a beater. She took off her shirt specifically for them to get pictures of her tits because I guess she thinks she’s got it going on, or maybe she had a huge spaghetti sauce stain on her shirt and didn’t want the embarrassment of being made fun of for being a slob, which would have probably been a good distraction from her just being a useless piece of shit who offers the world nothing, not even something to jerk off to….

I was at a bar this past weekend and saw a girl who walked around like she thought she was some kind of model or some shit. She was tall and looked as good as anyone famous. I told her boyfriend that I think I could make her famous if she had that talent and instead of dude jumping on board thinkin’ it was a great opportunity for him to get his girl out there, he thought I was implying that I get here suckin’ dick on camera or some shit. I guess no matter how sincere and wholesome I try to be in helping people out, they still think I’m a fuckin’ pervert and being a nice guy got me punched in the head which teaches us all a lesson, never be nice to anyone, they are just going to think you’re trying to proposition their hot girlfriend into doing porn.

Posted in:Beater|Kristin Cavallari

2008

03

Mar

Drew Barrymore and the Mac Guy on the Beach of the Day

These pictures hit the internet last week when my website was being hacked and I couldn’t update it, not that I would have, because I kinda hate all you fuckers for trying to bring me down, even if you didn’t have anything to do with it. I still feel like my English teacher who we all hated because she was a cunt and figured the best revenge we could get on her is convince the weird got chick before got existed to dump some chemical we stole in chemistry class into her cranberry juice. If you’re wondering why she was drinking cranberry juice, it was probably because she had a UTI from doin’ some ass to pussy fuckin’. The juice ended up having a chemical reaction with whatever the goth chick dumped in her drink and when the teacher went for a sip, she noticed it had turned green and chunky, so she didn’t drink it and reality is, I probably wouldn’t have let her. I am more into bitches on all fours naked then poisoned, call me crazy.

Speakin of all fours, here’s Drew Barrymore in a bikini, when she really should be wearing more clothes. Bitch has no business showing off her uneven tits and when I look at these pictures all I see is cunt and not the kind I like, more like the kind I would convince a goth girl to drop some mystery powder in her expensive cocktail, but that’s just because she annoys me and likes getting high. I guess the good news is that 2 people destined to die alone because everyone hates them because they are ugly, found each other and can now frolic in the surf so in love, like starring in their very own shitty love story no one cares to watch.

I guess the good news for you is that a Zach Braff muppet lookin’ mac guy can still get laid, because let’s face it, Drew Barrymore may not be hot but a lot of guys will still fuck her tattooed ass, while Mac Guy is just one ugly fucker who, like you spent most of his 20s not getting laid from anyone. These pictures bring hope….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Drew Barrymore

2008

29

Feb

Lindsay Lohan in Some Shorts and Shit of the Day

I was having a conversation about Lohan with some internet chick the other day because I was trying to get her to send me nude pictures and the celebrity angle is the only way I knew how to relate to 20 year old bitches. I was asking her if she would rather fuck Lohan or Paris and she wouldn’t give a straight answer. When she asked me, I told her that I would never fuck Paris Hilton, I don’t know why because I have no standards, I have fucked girls during their herpes outbreaks and none of them looked as good as Paris Hilton which says a lot about the kind of pussy I get. I just find her trash, expensive trash, but trash nonetheless. It’s like when a wife catches her husband cheating and throws the wedding ring in the garbage. Sure that ring is expensive but motherfucker’s covered in rotting vegetables….but I would fuck Lohan.

I think what it comes down to is that sure Lohan is a bit of a hipster poser trying to fit into that whole coke party scene where the kids look homeless and listen to electro, while Paris is a bottle whore who goes to the clubs where cheesy dudes drop 1000s of dollars to look like they are ballin, while their waxed worked our chests match the glisten in their hair gel.

So the point of all this is to say, Lohan is just cool shit as far as I am concerned and I can see past her shit smeared skin and bloated sloppy body, and it’s good to know she’s back to hitting up the clubs, because that’s when she’s most accessible.

Bonus – Here She is in Shorts Yesterday During the Day

Bonus – Here’s Her Shitty Photoshoot for Paper Magazine

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
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Posted in:Legs|Lindsay Lohan|Shorts|Slut

2008

29

Feb

Elle Macpherson Lookin’ Old and Hot of the Day

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson from the other day showin’ a little bra because she’s still got it going on for an old lady.

She is the woman who first introduced me to Australian Bikini models during a 1988 cover of SI and I still think she’s probably a better fuck now than she was then. Not only has Elle probably had more loads in her than either of them, but she’s also in her pre-menopausal prime that makes her want to bounce on as many dicks as she can before her vagina dries up and stops working. KInda like how my wife gets when see sees the staff at the Chinese Buffet closing up….

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
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Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Hot|old|Slut

2008

29

Feb

Gemma Ward is Heath Ledger’s Girlfriend and She Looks Like a Wreck of the Day

Here are some pictures of Gemma Ward, one of Heath Ledger’s vaginas before he died, who is a model and she looks like she is taking his death to heart by lookin’ like death. She’s obviously celebrating his life by not showering and doing the drugs he forgot in her apartment to cope with the loss.

That said, there’s nothing like a good vulnerable mourning girl to move in on because they are easy and fucking a girl while she cries feels like home to me, not because I am depraved but because that’s what I do whenever my wife fucks me….

Posted in:Gemma Ward|Heath Ledger|Wreck

2008

28

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

So – if you were wondering – my site is currently being hacked by someone. It’s called a DoS attack and you can find out more on it here…I mean Here . It’s a direct attack by someone I upset with something I wrote.

I realize I have an abrasive way of writing and that sarcasm and jokes don’t always convey the way you want them to over the internet. It’s a shitty platform to talk shit – but it’s what I do and if you don’t like it, leave.

I know that I don’t agree with everything I read, not that I actually know how to read, but if I did, I know I wouldn’t agree with the shit I read and I just wouldn’t go back to the source, I’m not going to go to the fucker’s house and burn it down.

I also know that there are superfans out there who have, for whatever reason, have not found happiness in their real lives, so they turn to movies, internet and TV to fill in that void. I know that those people obsessively follow specific people and take personal offense when someone makes fun of those people. So they do shit like hack our sites to get even for what we said.

I have been hacked before, for calling Josie Maran a slut. I am not sure why I got hacked today, but whoever did it did a good job and I am sure will win over the heart of the celebrity who’s honor he fought for. Dude, she’s totally gonna fuck you now…your psycho dreams will be answered….at least through your TV because the chances of her ever talkin to you, even after waiting at an autograph signing of hers for 12 hours, re slim to fuckin’ none, so instead of loving her and the cut out you have of her taped to your pillow….while attacking people like me for being mean to your angel, maybe your strategy should be to go after them and leave me the fuck alone.

I get it you have too much time on your hands. You get off on doing this kind of shit. It makes you feel powerful behind your computer, but why aren’t you using your hackin’ skills to make money hacking into offshore bank accounts and shit…Hackin’ me seems like a of a waste of a skill if you ask me. I’m if you did hack yourself into money, you’d have a better chance hackin’ into celebrity vagina, the real kind, not the internet kind.

That said, I still did my links, if anyone is still out there and I’m not going anywhere – you can take my site from me but you can’t shut me up…or some shit…time to go get drunk…or more drunk…it’s kinda what I do until some fucker hacks into my liquor store and bars and takes that away from me too….

Paris Hilton Topless for 944 Magazine….
GO

Her Name is Kathie and She’s Posing
GO

Her Name is Shelly Martinez Strippin With a Totem Pole
GO

Some Hot Amateurs….
GO

Alyssa Milano Hot Picture Gallery
GO

Ashlee Simpson Is Not Pregnant
GO

Marion Cotillard and Her CSI Nipple Slip
GO

Kim Kardashian Steals a 20 From a Homeless Dude
GO

Sunisa Kim is a Slut Posing in Video
GO

Some Stupid Juno Audition Tape With Jason Bateman
GO

Some Hot German Cartoon Porn
GO

Oregon Mayor Gets Fired for Her Racy Pictures
GO

Some Mariah Carey in Tight Jeans
GO

Some Dude and his Huge Mouth
GO

A Sick Video of a Guy With a Tail
GO

A Dude and His 100 Sex Dolls
GO

Aria Giovanni in a Bikini Photoshoot
GO

Jordan Out With Her New Tits in Blue
GO

Eve Wrywal is a Hot British Chick Who Gets Naked
GO

Kate Beckinsale Talks About Her Vagina
GO

The Hottest Belly Button I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Some Scary Fuckin Religious Freak
GO

Some Redhead Undresses in Public
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Some Norah Jones on Sesame Street for the Pedophiles Out There
GO

Some Dude Learns Bench Pressing 1085 Lbs is Too Much
GO

Weird Asian Butt Squeeze Video
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McLovin’ Stars in the Teabag Incident
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Some Slut and Her Digital Camera in Her Underwear
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Amy Winehouse Hangs With Toilet Paper
GO

Ashlee Simpson is Starting To Look Like Pete Wentz
GO

Holly Weber is the Hottest Bitch in Lingerie on Myspace and Apparently is an Actor Too…
GO

Some Chick Named Sarah Lime and Her Slutty Myspace Pics
GO

Hefner Wants Lohan in Playboy
GO

Kelley Hazell Won Some Award for Having Best Breasts in a Movie
GO

Heidi Montag Shoppin At American Apparel Cuz She’s Trendy
GO

This Teacher Became a WWE Diva when She Got Fired for being Too Hot
GO

Gwen Stefani Photoshoot in V Magazine
GO

Ashley Tisdale’s Doll Is Fuckin’ Ugly But You’d Still Fuck It….
GO

1980 Penthouse Subscribtion Form Was a Vagina
GO

Botox Faced Vivica A Fox Tries to Wink
GO

Funny Porn Clip With a Funny Interruption
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Weird Chick Shows Her Tits and Meds…Weird
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

Canabis Grow Bible
GO

Echo and the Bunnymen – Sef-titled
GO

Underworld – Beaucoup Fish
GO

Def Jam BOX SET
GO

50 Cent is the Future
GO

LLoyd Banks – Rotten Apple
GO

UNKLE More Stories
GO

Silversun Pickups – Remixes
GO

Gossip – Standing in the Way of Control
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Get Some Porn..it is Fun…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

28

Feb

Bijou Philips and Some Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

In case you were wondering why my site has AIDS, it’s because some piece of shit cocksucker fucked with it last night without a condom and now they are laughing about how they brought me down with his other internet buddies who helped him right now because they have nothing else to do…since they aren’t getting laid or anything. Either way, I am okay with the downtime because it gives me time to practice my sitting, while eating a bag of chips that I snuck in the house because I knew my wife wasn’t home to steal them from me.

Speaking of AIDS Here are some boring pictures of Bijou Phillips in a bikini and she’s with her DJing that 70s Show boyfriend at the beach which is more interesting than what I am doing right now, which is writing about how boring their lives are and last time I checked when you write about how boring someone’s life is, you’re life isn’t a whole lot better.

I wonder how many dicks that rebellious daughter of a Momma Cass’ ass has seen during her coke fueled, hanging with Paris Hilton, modeling days. I am guessing more than one. Maybe Masterson should let her soak in the ocean a little longer, or does the salt burn the wounds too much and that’s why she’s running out like she just got bitten by a shark… I don’t know what I am talking about, but give me my site back hacker. Thanks in advance.

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
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Posted in:Ass|Bijou Philips|Bikini|Tits

2008

28

Feb

Rihanna Knows How to Put on a Concert People Everywhere Can Appreciate of the Day

Rihanna seems to know how to put on a performance that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a fetish night party at a bar I used to frequent. I wasn’t too thrown off by all the nasty lookin’ people in their latex assless pants being dragged around on leashes, until I realized that it was a gay party and that the only girl in the place who had amazingly huge tits, and who I just let suck me off was actually I tranny packin heat. I didn’t mind too much, she was wearing lipstick and that’s all I really look for in a woman and she gave a really good blow job too, I guess she was just overcompensating for not having a vagina….

Speakin’ of suckin dick to overcompensate, we saw that Rihanna sucked a singing – proving she sucked dick to get to the top and is still suckin’ dick with some popstar dancing kid named Chris Brown , who has more money and vagina than you ever will and he’s only 18, so it’s only natural that she takes that attitude of overcompensating to the stage and since she can’t suck our dicks, she dresses sluttier than any other performer and that makes her the highest paid stripper who doesn’t get naked out there and these are the pics of her in Ireland last night.

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
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Posted in:Ass|Cameltoe|Concert|Dominatrix|Rihanna|Tits

2008

28

Feb

Sophie Monk is Still Hot of the Day

I have a thing for Sophie Monk and I think it’s got to do with her being hot despite lookin’ like some kind of puppy, with her unusual lookin’ face that probably took unusual amounts of loads with her unusually big lips, making her unusually a good fuckin’ time…..

Unfortunately, those loads came from the Good Charlotte Sister who is obviously rebounding badly with a major downgrade , but it was never meant to be….not because she’s too good for him, because she is but because he had a hard time pretending she was his twin brother and could never get past the fact that she wasn’t. Sure he’d closed his eyes and visualized, but she just wasn’t where she needed to be. Twins are connected on some weird level making sex with your twin some kind of masturbation miracle…you know when you’re asked if you’d suck your dick if you could…well these brothers get pretty close and no matter how hot Sophie Monk was, or how hard she tried, she always came in second. I guess blood really is thicker than water….

Not to mention physically she was all wrong. She had long blond hair, while his brother had short brown hair, she had tits and a vagina while his brother only had a vagina while writing his shitty songs that teens everywhere ate up like it was the coming of christ when really it was just the bi-product of brothers cumming on brothers…..

Sophie Monk Has Talents – If Playing the Flute With Her Nose is a Talent

Sophie Monk Sings and Dances in her Underwear

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
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Posted in:Hot|Legs|Sophie Monk