I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Apr

Marla Maples and Her Boy Toy on the Beach of the Day

So Marla Maples is pretty much only famous for being breaking up billionaire Donald Trump’s marriage to Ivana Trump after getting knocked up at 20 years old by him and shotgun marrying him before having his baby, making her pretty much set for life.

The good news is that the 45 year old uses her free time, which she has a lot of, because when you’re set for life after letting a billionaire cum in you back in ’84, you don’t have to get a job waitressing to pay the rent like you would have if you hadn’t used your young kinda hot at the time, powersuit wearing looks to get ahead, and by get ahead I mean trick a billionaire into marrying you after flipping the condom inside out and impregnating your 20 year old womb.

But she can use all that free time from being rich by association to go to the gym like it was a full time to stay fit for her 31 year old reality star from The Bachelor named Andy Baldwin, because holding onto your youth is a something most chicks want, but normally can’t pull off because oreos are just too damn good.

Either way, here are her abs in her bikini with her younger boyfriend who obviously sees a golden opportunity just like his girlfriend did back when she was his age. They do have so much in common….

Posted in:Bikini|Boy Toy|Cradle Robber|Marla Maples

2008

03

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

A lesbian who claims to be a lipstick lesbian left this comment:

“Lesbians may not be cool enough to fuck you, but when they let you watch them go at it, they are are better than all the other girls who don’t fuck you.”

Um, pardon me, fuckface? Not *cool* enough to fuck you? Maybe you’re not cool enough to be fucked by anyone, lesbian or otherwise. Maybe women are actually doing you a favor when they actually condescend to fuck your tiny, shriveled dick.

I decided to reply to it and this is what I wrote:

I am sure you aren’t a lipstick lesbian and the truth is my dick looks a lot like a clit, my ass smells like rank pussy and i am hairy with fat man tits – so you’d probably love me. I look like a what ever bull dyke wishes she could be. So maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to hate on me….and you should instead set up a time for us to a coffee and by coffee I mean get me pregnant like that bitch I saw on Oprah since we’re kinda built the same.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are a whole lot of links:

Jenny McCarthy Calls Bullshit on CNN
GO

Watch This Girl Change Outfits and Imagine Touching Her
GO

Web Boobs in Slow Motion, Click This Link…You’re Still Reading This? Why Are You Still Reading This? CLICK THE LINK…..
GO

Naomi Campbell Got Arrested Again For – Wait For It – Assaulting a Police Officer
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Kirsten Davis’ Pokies Are About As Exciting As Her Too Hairy Bush
GO

I’m Starting to Find Normal Sluts More Attractive Than Celebrity Sluts
GO

Tila Tequila is a Slut and Here is One of Her Videos
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Lohan Looks Pretty Hot Hanging With Her Lesbian Cock. I want to fuck her – She Wants to Fuck Kanye
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Impress Your Friends With This Card Trick, Cause the Only Thing Gayer Then Being a Virgin is Being a Magician
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Heather Mills is a Master of Disguise but She Can’t Hide Ol’ One Leg…
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You Moved Out Of Momm’ts House and Sold Your Action Figures. Time to Find a Girlfriend
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A Bra Made of Bacon Would Last About 4 Seconds on My Wife
GO

Porn Galore
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Megan Fox Arrives in Vancouver
GO

Kate Moss Is OUt With Her Kid, Lookin’ Fine
GO

So Bobby Brown is Saying He Never Did Cocaine Until He Met Whitney…Hmmmmm
GO

Rob a Delivery Van, and Then Give Me Some of Whatever Is Inside
GO

Use This to Get Laid
GO

Stop the Press!! Britney is Wearing a BRA!
GO

Fix Your Facebook and Myspace Photos in Photoshop So You Can Try and Get a Date
GO

Drunken Slut Get Owned
GO

Irina V is the Girl Next Door
GO

Dita Von Tease Topless Body Paint
GO

And Now, The Climax
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Look Down Kelly Brook’s Shirtand See The Tits She’s Hiding….
GO

Here’s a Look into The Hottest Taco Latina Porn on the Internet
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The Best 10 Videos of Chicks Getting Spanked
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Hot Bikini Car Wash Pictures
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Possibly One of the Creepiest Myspace Music Pages
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Some Vintage Betty Page Erotica that Was Once Illegal and Now Doesn’t Even Give Boners
GO

Some Weird Dirty Chick Video
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Some Classy Chick Drinkin’ a Beer With Her Pants Off Video
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Some Nasty Fat Wal Mart Clerk Lookin’ Women Trying to Be Seductive…..Video
GO

A Weird Masturbation Video….
GO

Asian Girl’s Pubes Get Caught on Fire
GO

Hot Chick Born with 2 Vaginas….
GO

Girls Make Sex More Fun. True Story
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Well, It’s Official, Mellissa Joan Hart is Never Going to Be Hott Again
GO

Drunk Girls Getting Down to Daft Drunk in Panties
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IF Poker Is Anything Like This Photoshoot, Then It Looks Like I Am Taking Up a New Hobbie
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Naked Olympic Qualifying
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Some Cartooons I Thought Were Cool
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Ciara in a Tight Pink Dress
GO

Some Olsen Twins Bikini Pics
GO

Some Foreign Blonde Chick Flashin Her Shit
GO

Catherine Fulop is in a Blue Bathing Suit
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Asian Nudity
GO

Some Amateur Nudity
GO

FROM THE FORUM

First Concert You Ever Went To?
GO

Programs to Rip Mp3s
GO

Snoop Dogg Leftovers
GO

Run, Fat Boy, Run
GO

A Google Joke Which is Funny
GO

The Hips and Thongs Thread
GO

Anal Masterbation Habit
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

03

Apr

Janice Dickinson is Hot in a Bikini of the Day

Janice Dickinson makes me feel like an asshole for jerking off to the geriatric aquarobics class at my local community center when there are elderly women out there who still look better than the younger chicks I’ve seen naked.

I know she’s had a lot of work done and is pretty much 80 percent made of plastic but shit’s working for me. Sure her ass is sloppy and her skin is leathery but if you saw the 50 year old bitches who I’ve been with, you’d think of me in a totally different way, or maybe you would expect it from me, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that what it comes down to is that old ladies are easy, willing, experienced and can’t get pregnant because of their dried up wombs, pretty much the perfect situation to have, except for the grey pussy hair, impending smell of death and most importantly the constant harassment of making sure I didn’t want another freshly baked cookie after eating 6.

Here is some more Janice Dickinson bikini action because she hasn’t died of heat exhaustion like my 60 year old neighbor did last summer during the heat wave and that’s worth celebrating….

Posted in:Bikini|Hot|Janice Dickinson

2008

03

Apr

Hulk Hogan’s New Pussy of the Day

Tanning expert Hulk Hogan has a pretty good deal. He’s sitting on a fat bank account while all the other trash from Tampa who he grew up with are collecting welfare checks or working shitty jobs to pay for their shitty trailer park homes. Now he decided to take the attention away from his rich brat of a son’s almost murderous car accident by staging a divorce from his useless ex-stripper lookin wife, who pretty much let him do whatever he wanted before the accident because she doesn’t want to lose that meal ticket. But now he gets to do it in public and that makes fucking new pussy all the more exciting.

Anyway, in making their story more believable he’s gone out and got himself a girlfriend who looks like she could be his illegitimate daughter with another stripper he spent his first wrestling check on 30 years ago, which would explain why she’s so fuckin’ clingy. It’s one of those “daddy where were you all my life, you asshole, but I am so happy to have you back in it, because mommy fucked so many dudes during that period of her life that we never knew we’d track him down, but sure glad we did because it turns out you have lots of money you’ll be forced to leave to me cuz of genetics” situation, only this time instead of the usual giving her the last 30 years of birthday and christmas gifts that most dads who get tracked down with paternity test technology, he’s giving her his cock.

She’s ugly, has fake tits and looks like an older version of his daughter and younger version of his wife, making Hulk feel like he’s living the good life he could only dream of back when he was growing up wrestling alligators at Busch Gardens..before he was the Hulkster….

Posted in:Bikini|Girlfriend|Hulk Hogan

2008

03

Apr

South Park Makes Fun of Youtube Internet Celebrities of the Day

This is a bit of a mess of a clip from South Park because it’s all over the fucking place and confuses the fuck out of me and ends in pretty fucking weak way, but I am posting it anyway because Internet celebrities are the biggest fucking joke out there.

People make retarded videos in hopes of being the number 1 YouTube video just for the sake of being the number 1 YouTube video and don’t get paid for the loss of their dignity but just increasing traffic to YouTube making other assholes a whole lot richer while they go back to their lonely one room apartments.

Sure Tron guy got a TV commercial and used the money to move up from a studio apartment to a 2 bedroom, Chris Crocker moved to Hollywood and was let into trendy clubs, Laughing baby went on to a life of hardcore porn, Afro Ninja got dragged behind a pickup truck in some kind of hate crime and Star Wars Kid died of a heartattack while eating a Poutine in his French Canadian home town at the age of 17, but for the most part these people are just ripped off by the mainstream media and never see a penny…while making other people rich. The genius of user generated content because everyone wants to be famous.

Most of the people in this clip are pre-youtube internet famous and were just videos emailed around as an attachment, but it’s safe to say they are probably the reason youtube was created, they just aren’t recognized for that.

I guess I shouldn’t talk, since I do internet bullshit for no money but I guess since no one reads the site and my top viewed stepTV was by 10 people, it’s safe to say that I’ve never inspired many people to get rich so I feel like a less successful Tron Guy but that’s probably just because he’s got a better body than me and you people are so fucking superficial….

Posted in:South Park

2008

03

Apr

Mena Suvari In a Thong Bikini Showing Off Her Ass of the Day

Lesbian haircut Mena Suvari doesn’t seem to be a lesbian anymore, at least that’s what she wants us to believe by over compensating with some dude on the beach by being all touchy feel with her public displays of affection. I would say rent a room but I never do that because I am more into watching like the creep that I am.

I don’t know how they do things on whatever planet she’s from, but I am hoping the next set of pictures have her on her knees with homies dick in her mouth, but I still have a feeling she doesn’t roll like that and by that I mean with penis, since dude looks like he’s putting on some shitty performance while she’s not having that and is just going along with it to get the girls she’s attracted to go back to her room with her. I think this pretty boy is just some kind of bait to get pussy in her mouth but then again I could be wrong, I was never a huge fan of fishing.


She was in a thong on the beach the other day also – you can see it here
GO

Posted in:Ass|Mena Suvari|Thong

2008

03

Apr

Angelina Jolie’s Sexy Photoshoot When She was 16 of the Day

It’s no lie that I think teenage girls are hotter than middle aged 20 something girls. They have tighter bodies, perkier tits and they don’t annoy you about going to dinner parties, having babies or moving in together, they are just excited enough to hang out with you when it’s not a school night.

This is a video of Angelina Jolie doing some kind of photoshoot when she was 16 for some kind of pervert that was unfortunately not me because I don’t mess with taking pictures of girls who need parental consent, it just causes too many problems when the police steal my hard drive, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to have been there watching from the closet, because that’s kinda my thing.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Photoshoot|Sixteen

2008

03

Apr

John McCain on Heidi Montag’s Endorsement of the Day

The good news is that John McCain knows that Heidi Montag is a fucking joke too. When I first read this shit yesterday I thought he was actually being serious that he was a huge Hills fan and now he says that Heidi Montag is a very talented actress while laughing and back tracks it by saying at least he’s got Sylvestor Stallone and Clint Eastwood on his side. So not only do we all think Montag’s a fuckin joke, but so does the future president, because I doubt a women or black man will win and dude publicly laughs at her which is enough reason for me to vote for him, provided I wasn’t an illegal.

I guess we can hope dude lays some kind of law in place that leads to her being deported because bitches like her are a bigger stain on the nation than the Iraq war. Sure people are dying in Iraq, the economy is destroyed to kill for oil, money that could have been used to help cure cancer or aids or the poverty issue in the USA but I wouldn’t be surprised if the success of Montag is responsible for the state of the nation and a couple suicides because I know when I hear her music and realize that she’s rich for nothing while people like me are struggling to buy a can of soup and a coffee, I’d be better off dead. It’s one of those what kind of world do we live in situation.

Here’s Some Old Pics of Her in a Bikini

Posted in:Heidi Montag|John McCain|Presidential Campaign

2008

03

Apr

Julie Bowen Talks To Kimmel About Her Tits of the Day

I just woke up like the lazy homeless motherfucker I am, I think it’s gotta do with drinking, because when I go out I don’t hear a fuckin’ thing until I wake up with the biggest fuckin migraine. Life passes me before my eyes and that’s ok by me because it’s not all that fun anyway. Maybe if I didn’t pass out on the floor at 6 am, I’d be more likely to wake up at the crack of dawn and be the early bird catching the worm, but I was never a huge fan of worms, I was always a little more into pussy.

Either way, that means I do a lazy video post to start the day on the site and maybe the day in Hawaii or some shit where it’s 7 am right now, while all you other fuckers are coming in from lunch. That’s part of the reason that the unemployed are my target market that have limited expectations out of me.

So this video is with some bitch I don’t know named Julie Bowen, I don’t think I have ever heard of, which isn’t a testament to how shitty Kimmel’s show is, but more a testament to how I am in the wrong line of websites but she’s talking about her tits in what is probably the least sexy way and about how she’s pumps her baby milk filled tits while driving, something that would make a much better video than this, but I’m too lazy and poverty stricken to make happen.

Posted in:Julie Bowen|Pregnancy|Tits

2008

03

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

So my answer to the paparazzi is to find some dumb punk kids in LA who own cameras and have nothing better to do with their time than to take pictures of celebrities. I figure I will pay them if we ever sell them to People Magazine or some shit, so if you are interested email me HERE .

One of my readers called Flynet and they acted like they didn’t know who I was, listen to the message HERE

The good news is that the h4x0r from today was nice enough to not really do the damage he could have, keeping me around a couple more days, until another h4x0r attacks me and I realize this shit isn’t worth the headaches, until realizing that the headaches my wife gives me are far worse than those of a h4ax0r making me crawl back to this shit because it’s all I know.

Here are my links.

Lisa Rinna Makes Out With a Dude for Ashton’s Stupid Show…Or Because She’s a Slut
GO

Here are Some Pics of Chicks Giving the Sex Eye
GO

Hilary Clinton is Fuckin’ Obama
GO

I’ve Always Thought Justin Timberlake Was Gay…This is the Proof
GO

Gemma Atkinson’s in her Underwear for a Commercial
GO

Big Wet Drunk Tits and a Lingerie Pole Dance in these Party Videos
GO

The Shittiest Rihanna Nipple Slip of All Time
GO

Alanis Morrisette in Some Panties For You Weirdos
GO

Some Marisa Miller at Some Event Lookin’ Good Enough to Fuck
GO

Eva Longoria Feeds Paparazzi…Hopefully She Was Smart Enough to Poison Them
GO

Make That Porn Collection of Yours a Little Better
GO

Extreme Fisting Video
GO

A Whole Lot of Dita Von Teese
GO

Abigail Clancy is Hot in Some Photoshoot in her Underwear
GO

Bad Girl’s Club Nikki Carlisle Did Porn Before She Did Bad Girl’s Club and This Will Lead You To It…
GO

Eli Roth has a New Movie and This is The Trailer and His Blog About It….
GO

Live Sex Shows
GO

Lohan Pickin’ Her Cocaine Filled Nose
GO

The American Apparel Street Artist With His Crazy Fake American Apparel Ads Strikes Again…This Time With Vagina Shaving
GO

Top 10 Celebrity Videos Singing Take Me Out to the Ball Game – Making One of the Weirder Top 10 Lists to Make the stepLINKS
GO

OK Magazine Recycles a 3 Year Old Picture of Britney Spears
GO

Top 10 Best 1980s Cable Access Moments….
GO

John McCain’s Response to Heidi Montag’s Endorsement…..Is Funny…
GO

Here’s a Funny Tennis Injury Video
GO

Some Colorado Crush Dancer is a Porn Star Named Shyra Sheer
GO

Find Sex Faster Then You Can Whack Off And That is fucking FAST!
GO

Here are Shyra Sheer’s Porn Post….
GO

Some Party Girls Flashing Their Tits
GO

Group of Hipster Lookin Chicks Pole Danced in the Subway and Now Do Their Thing in the Middle of the City
GO

Amy Winehouse Thinks Her House is Haunted
GO

Some Guy Owns a Chick in a Pretty Boring Way
GO

Chinese Mother and Daughter Take on the Mistress Video
GO

Alison Angel and Lia19 are Naugthy and Flashing in a Restaurant
GO

Denise Richards Shopping With Some Ass Shots
GO

Public Fuck in Madrid
GO

Remote Control Fuck
GO

Funny Ass in Mirror Prank
GO

O Face or Goal Face
GO

The Bacon Bra is Good for Titty Eating….
GO

Kate Bowsworth Explains How She Prepared for Her Sex Scene
GO

Some Car Show Babes
GO

Daniela Sarahyba Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Video
GO

Some Girls Who Are Better Than You and Just Prove That You Are Pathetic
GO

Make a Half Court Shot, and Make a Million
GO

Miranda Kerr Is Posing For Victoria Secret
GO

Idiot Slams Nail Through Friends Hand
GO

Video That I can’t Decide If It’s Good or Not.
GO

Make a Low Budget Smoke Bomb
GO

Pleasure Yourself with a Burger, Like These Dudes
GO

Dance Like a Sexy Girl
GO

Kylie Minogue Singing and Dancing and Being Hott
GO

Sexy Italian Limbo Video
GO

Watch a Chick Get a Bikini Wax Because I’ve Been Lookin’ For This Video for 3 Years…This Excites Me…
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Pics of Ano Bitches
GO

Some Nudity and Some Lame Fuckin’ Tough Guy Boyfriend
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Give Your Hand a Break, and Use This to Get Laid Instead
GO

FROM THE FORUM :

More Sun Kill Moon
GO

The Cranberries
GO

Looking for Software?
GO

RJD2
GO

Guess This Random Chick
GO

This Guy Posted a Vid of His Girlfriend Sucking Him Off
GO

Pedophile Beards
GO

Ladies: What’s Your Underwear Choice for Men?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS