I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Feb

Lohan Topless in Some Photoshoot of the Day

These pictures of Lohan in some photoshoot for New York magazine recreating some Marilyn Monroe shoot were just sent to me and she’s topless. Now everyone who reads this site know I have a fake crush on coke whore and her tits are pretty much the main reason why. It’s definitely got nothing to do with her freckled skin that is cute when she it on a kid running a lemonade stand and not so cute when it looks like the coke whore just did some scat porn to get more coke and hasn’t had enough time to shower.

I don’t know what I am talking about, I’m riding off a 3 day hangover. Look at the pics because the best way to draw attention to your useless drug addicted self is to get naked. Remember that girls and be sure to start by sending them to me first.

I know having a sheet between you and lohan seems pretty shitty in pictures because it’s blocking out her pussy, but if this was real life that sheet is a necessity but preferably in latex because skin to skin contact with this whore has some serious repercussions , it’s kinda like wearing a helmet when riding a bike or when retarded so you don’t smash your head in the wall repeatedly.

I had to Take the Pics Down So Check them Out Here – but Put Them Back Up – Fuck ‘Em…
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Here’s My Email Communication with NY Mag
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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Naked|Nude|Photoshoot|Topless

2008

16

Feb

DrunkenStepfather Does Maxim of the Day

So I got an email saying that I was in Maxim Magazine on Page 32. I figured before the other 3 of you email me, I’d clear this shit up because it was written by a dude who got fired from CollegeHumor and CollegeHumor is garbage leading me to believe that someone not good enough to write for them is probably not good enough to write about me – and I was right. I would have obviously preferred to written about from someone who worked and got fired from a more reputable company, Fuck I would have rather been written about by the drunk dude I met at some bar who was writing what I though was a novel on napkins but when I got closer, turned out to be a a doodle of a dog taking a shit on some big breasted slut but that’s just because I appreciated his artistic vision.

Either way, Complex wrote that I was on of the most influential guys of 2008 and a week later Maxim emailed me. They wanted to do an article on the site and I am not an idiot and said yes because in the 90s, I read Maxim and the thought of getting featured in it seemed like a good thing to do even though no one I know has picked up the magazine in the last 5 years, including myself….

I told them that I don’t leave my house and that they’ll have to do the interview with me over the computer. They refused. So I had to find a way to either get to New York which wasn’t about to happen, or send someone in New York who I know to pretend to be me otherwise there’d be no Maxim article and I figured I had to make it happen…because people don’t offer to do articles on me ever.

Now, I am not very popular and don’t know many people so the only guy who could get there was a chubby white mexican dude I’ve known for a while who is 30. He did the interview. I did the follow up over email and they wrote that I don’t really exist but I do and you’re reading me.

The good news is that they legitimized me being a pervert – they made it out to be some new side of the media called Pervarazzi, like writing sleazy shit about sluts is something to be proud of and this justifies everyone I’ve ever sexually harassed or touched inappropriately over the years. If only I knew the name of that girl I who passed out at a party next to me and who made a big deal about it when she woke up with my hand down her pants telling her boyfriend who was in the other room that I was some sick pervert leading him to beat me up, so that I could show them this article and prove that they were just part of research. I feel smart, like a pervert who just figured out showing girls his camera and telling them it was for art, makes them them get naked for art and instead of slapping him in the face for being a pervert. So thanks to Maxim for making all those dark secrets I’ve regretted but still jerk off to mean something more substantial and like I am leading some kind of revolution…..

So this is the Maxim story. I guess it’s a big enough deal but I won’t consider my life a success until you see me in the mexican wrestling mask on The View trying to finger bang Elizabeth under the table, but that’s because I’m a housewife like that. That may just be fiction like Maxim claims I am, but dreams do come true. Cuddles.

Posted in:Maxim|Pervarazzi|stepCOVERAGE

2008

15

Feb

Britney No Bra Spears of the Day

Watching Britney not wear a bra, reminds me of my fat wife not wearing a bra and there’s nothing hot about that. It’s actually pretty fucking scary and that’s why I don’t have pictures to prove it because I try my best to pretend they don’t exist. I guess Britney pretends that her floppy tits aren’t floppy too, but there is a time in every woman’s life where she has to look in the mirror and take a cold hard look at her tits and realize that shit aren’t as perky as they once were and that their nipples are aiming places they are only supposed to aim after menopause or a long hard battle with obesity and it’s time to throw your hippie ideals out the window and put your feminist lesbian movement bra burning bullshit on the back burner and strap those crazy fuckers up in bra or what a call a straight jacket for out of control tits.

There’s no real reason for Britney’s tits to be so fat and sloppy. Bitch is in her 20s and may have 2 kids and like eating shitty food but usually those fuckers bounce back into action. I guess the realization of her tits acting crazier than her is what really made her step up her crazy game that landed her in the psych ward. She’s competitive like that. That’s my theory and floppy tits or not, I’d still take care of her and by take care of her I obviously mean spend her money and not give her sponge baths and gestures of love. I’m just not that kind of guy.

Posted in:Braless|Britney Spears|Nipples|Tits

2008

15

Feb

Meagan Good’s Got Gooder Cleavage Than Me of the Day

Meagan Good is busting out of her dress at some NCAAP event that was held on Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if any of you remember but back when I was called a racist, I donated $5 to the NCAAP so I like to think I contributed to this event and helped make it possible. That’s why I am pretty offended that I wasn’t invited to attend. Sure I’m not black and don’t really do anything for black people but I gave them my money and that’s more support than they’ve ever given me. So who’s the fucking racist now NCAAP…..I guess that means I have no choice but to start a war on the NCAAP, but will probably end up shot in a drive by shooting or some shit.

I’m going to turn on some Hip Hop and stare at these pictures of Meagan Good’s tits while pretending that I got her knocked up and refused to allow my name on the birth certificate like I was Eddy Murphy so that it doesn’t come an bite me in the ass or wallet, because that’s what having illegitimate babies is all about when you live in the projects. Gangsta.

Posted in:cleavage|Meagan Good|Nipple

2008

15

Feb

Little Gary Coleman Doesn’t Unleash His Little Gary Coleman on His Wife of the Day

So it turns out that Gary Coleman never banged the chick he married which makes you wonder why the fuck he married her to begin with. I figure it has to do with him not having a big enough penis, but from my experience watching midget porn, they all have bigger dicks than you, which I know isn’t saying much, but it’s saying something about you….and maybe why you don’t get laid either. But worst case scenario she could just shove his entire body in her like some reverse giving birth shit that blows reverse cowboy out of the bedroom…..

Maybe this chick is a lesbian that just wants to get into the spotlight because she knew that despite this fucker being a washed up star from the 70s with no money he still gets media attention….Maybe she has a fetish to marry and not fuck midget who she saw watching reruns of his show and decided that she would marry him when he was a washed up and poor because she has realistic expectations for herself….because marrying an actual celebrity isn’t that easy, I’ve tried.

I guess what it comes down is that she’s just a racist.

Posted in:Gary Coleman|Sex

2008

15

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

My site is still fucked up and I couldn’t update it last night or this morning – but I am aiming to get the bitch back up and running by Monday. I hope you all had a nice Valentine’s Day emotionally eating and drinking yourself into a worse place than you started….maybe even masturbating as you cried…remembering that girl from High School you should have mustered up the courage to talk to. I feel your pain dude…I had to make 4 boxes of Mac & Cheese for my wife and watch her eat the shit while I drank every last drop of scotch I had been given by her to muster up the courage to go down on her til she came. It was hell.

Here are last night and some today links….I’ll get to posting now.

X-TIna’s Vagina Wasn’t Destroyed in her Pregnancy
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3 Blondes in a Low Cut Shirt Walk Into a Bar…
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Here is some Eye Candy for Valentines Day
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Nick Nolte Wasted as Fuck in an Interview for His New Animated Movie
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3 Girls – 1 Webcam
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The 20 Least Romantic Lines in Movies
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Here are Some Celebrities Getting Slutty on Video…
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Her Name is Ela Weber and She’s Topless
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Sex in the Big Brother 9 House
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Lohan is a Huge Slut and That’s Why We Love HEr
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Some Hot Chick Named Vanessa Lorenzo
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Here’s a Topless Amusement Park Prank
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Yasmin Brunet in the 2008 SI Swimsuit Issue if you Haven’t Bought it Yet…Which you Haven’t Cuz You’re Poor
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Here’s a Pretty Fucking Hot French Ad with Nudity…
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Here’s Some Glow in the Dark Body Paint Pictures
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This is the funniest video involving pudding and a Naked Chick you will ever see
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Paris Hilton’s Movie is Named the Worst Movie Ever
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Lily Allen is a Drunken Wreck
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A Teacher in Sweden Punishes Her Student With a Tit Flash and Gets Fired….Sounds Better than Detention
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The Ultimate Stacy Keibler Gallery for you Leg Lovin’ Weirdos
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Ali Larter is Famous Because of the Phillies….
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Vicki Blows is some Lingerie Model Who You Wish Blows…
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Rapists get Stripped and Beaten By Their Victims…….
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Vagina Purses Make for a Cheap Fuck
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Her Name is Jaclyn Hall and These Are Some of Her Slutty Myspace Pics
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Kirstie Alley Got Fired for Being Too Fat
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Some Panty Liner Ad Has it’s Models Body Painted…That’s Just How Thin the Fuckers Are
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Cops Find a Pantless Girl Passed Out on a Bench Video
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Some Russian School Play Gets Streaked
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Some Drunk Girl Gets Her Head Shaved When She’s Passed Out
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Some Valentine’s Day Chocolate Sex Video….Not that Kind of Chocolate Sex….This Ain’t the Nature Channel
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Some Teens Shaking Their Booties on Cam in their Underwear
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Some 28 Year Old Chick Gets Naked and Shows Off Her Tight Body
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This is Weird – Naked Busty Chick Covered in Blood – For Valentines Day
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Some Lesbian Video if the Day
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Some Teen Amateur Getting Naked For You
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Some Chick Getting Naked i the Poolroom
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Some Girl With Massive Tits Plays With her Pussy for You….
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Some Webcam Chick Showing Off Her Retarded Ass
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Here’s a Pretty Dangerous Place to Swim
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Here’s a Compilation of Sharking Because Being a Pervert is What I Do
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Fucking With a Drunk Girl is Pretty Fucking Funny
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This is a Creepy Airline Ad from the 60s Promoting Incest
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Irresponsible Mom and Her Spring Break Slutting Out Pictures
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She is a girl – She Has Tits – She Has a Vagina – She Has a Digital Camera…
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Some Half Naked Chick and Her Big Ol’ Tits
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Some Big Ass and Some Vagina and Even Some Tits
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FROM OF THE FORUM

Gus Gus vs T-world
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Ratatat Remixes Vol.II
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Nirvana Lithium
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Arcade Fire – Neon Bible
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LL Cool J – Mr.Smith
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Daniel Johnston – Hi How Are You
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Cornelius – Gum/Cue
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Feist – Live Morning Become eclectic
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NAS – Street’s Desciple
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Slightly Stoopid – Acoustic Roots
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Eazy-E — Eazy-Duz-It
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Bouncy Bouncy
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311 – Music
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Cibo Matto – Viva La Woman
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Prodigy – The Prodigy Experience
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Handsome Boy Modeling School
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The Orb – Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld
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Thrice – Identity Crisis
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Tricky – Maxinquaye
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EazyE — Eternal E
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LL Cool J – Bigger and Deffer
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Get Some Porn…Because Valentine’s Day is Lonely…
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Use This To Increase Your Chance in Getting Sex…Because Girls are Easy on Valentine’s Day
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Go Here To Find Girls to Fuck Because They are Lonely and it is Valentine’s Day….
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

15

Feb

Bandarazzi is a Band’s Mission to Be Seen of the Day

A Cursive Memory – EVERYTHING

So this band’s homemade video is of them getting themselves in front of the paparazzi and next to the celebrities. They are called A Cursive Memory and this shit was probably bankrolled by a record label because I know that I’ve never got that close to anyone famous without being beat up by security, but it’s still worth watching. It’s like that Nickelback video without the annoyingness of the Nickelback song but they have their own breed of annoying and that is this homo pop sounding shit that’s good for you to get down and dirty with your best friend when you both realize that girls don’t like you and figure a mouth is a mouth even if it is the mouth of a dude you’ve known since you were on the same little league team because it’s better than your hand…..right?

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

14

Feb

Lindsay Lohan is my Valentine of the Day

So Lohan doesn’t know this site exists but she’s been my Valentine for the last 3 years I have been doing this shit. I decided a long time ago that I needed to focus on one celebrity back then and I went with Lohan. I ended up scoring her phone number and left her a lot of creepy messages on her answering machine in hopes of her filing a restraining order or to even get me arrested. I figured it would have been good publicity and since she’s so loose in the hips, I probably would have ended up marrying her. She never called me back so I’d like to say something like “it’s her loss” like I am better than she is and like she’s missing out or something that makes my low self esteem feel better about myself, but I figure that the reality is that we are both missing out because a love this strong shouldn’t be ignored…and by love I mean I want to get her pregnant and live on her couch because it would make for a better life.

Either way, she brought her tits out for you all to enjoy and this is where the jealousy comes in and I gotta say stop lookin’ at my girl like that motherfucker. It’s making me mad. Cuddles.

PS – I can’t link to my stalker posts because my site is broken….but if you’re crafty enough you will use the search box to find it….

Posted in:cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Soulmate|Tits

2008

14

Feb

Jane Fonda Drops Cunt on TV of the Day

This was a funny clip that reminded me of Valentine’s Day but probably doesn’t remind you of Valentine’s Day because Jane Fonda says Cunt on morning TV making me believe that things in mainstream media are slowly moving to the stepSIDE…..Either way cunt reminds me of Valentine’s Day because the shit is so accessible today, every single girl or girl who’s boyfriend didn’t get her a nice enough gift is out there ready to get her legs spread like butter on toast by anyone they can get because Valentine’s Day is a total mindfuck for chicks that makes them either feel completely inadequate or completely amazing depending how it is played out….

Anyway – Since you don’t get cunt, even on the easiest day to get cunt it would be more appropriate if she said something like “Lonely Virgin who will live a sad life and die alone after years of let downs but will always have his hand to satisfy him until losing all interest in sex and giving up on boners and orgasms or until that really inconvenient accident that happens when building a shed in the backyard to store your Star Wars memorabilia leaves you crippled and handless, unable to masturbate but at least you’ll always have the option of whores once you get past the neurotic behavior you’ve developed being alone for so long, making you scared of hiring whores partially because you don’t know how to fuck chicks and don’t want to look bad or feel unable satisfy someone with so experience and because you’re lonely life has led you to being a bit of a hypochondriac and whores are dirtier than your immaculately clean home and bed sheets you obsessively change everyday because it gives you something to do at night during commercial breaks of your favorite shows”……..or something like that….

Posted in:Cunt|Good Morning America|Jane Fonda

2008

14

Feb

Super Jordan’s Got Nipples of the Day

I was surprised to see these pictures of Jordan’s nipples because I assumed with all the surgery she’s had the fucker would have fallen off by now but I was wrong, it happens. I guess she just doesn’t have any sensation left in her tit, so when it busts out of stupid bustiers she doesn’t realize it.

Here she is signing some book she apparently wrote herself or something equally obnoxious like thinking any of us care about anything about her beyond her tits, but not as obnoxious as the fact that she has a stage name and a real name like every stripper who has broken my heart and pornstar I’ve had sex with without them knowing and not because my small penis doesn’t touch the walls of their big porn vaginas, but because they weren’t in the room with me. Or as obnoxious as her stripping outfit that she wore out in public or as if it shouldn’t have been left at home in the bedroom for her freaky husband. But not as obnoxious as her retarded baby Harvey when you steal his ball from him….and no I’m not talking about mommy’s breast implant she left lying around the house…oh wait…yes I am….that big little dude’s got some superhero strength when he doesn’t get his retarded way….

Either way, it’s Valentine’s Day and I wish you and the homemade fake vagina you call your lover a glorious day. I just hope that model glue, popsicle sticks and chewed up pink bubble gum last another couple of months for you, because I’d hate to see you alone.

Posted in:Implants|Jordan|Katie Price|New Tits|Nipples|Tits