I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

05

Nov

I am – Featured in Penthouse Forum Magazine of the Day

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I was featured in Penthouse Forums Magazine, which is like the Readers Digest for porn magazines. It’s all kinds of stories and fantasy letters and submissions and shit, so I don’t know how many people actually buy the mag, I am surprised anyone even buys magazines to jerk off to anymore anyway, other than when they are flying or something, because in case you didn’t know, the internet has lots of free porn.

Anyway, I am almost in the big leagues, only I am not actually in Penthouse but one of their off-shoots which is like fucking the ugly younger sister, but you’re still getting laid and they reviewed the wrong fucking site and instead of writing about me, they wrote about some sex toy shop, and it all makes sense because I suck at life and always manage to fall short in everything I do, which is a good thing, because if everything worked out for me, I’d never be here and if I was, I’d have pretty much nothing to talk about.

Point of the story is that I think it’s fucking hysterical and that’s all that matters.

Posted in:stepCOVERAGE|Unsorted

2007

05

Nov

I am – Drunken Girls on Facebook of the Day

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This was just emailed into me and I decided to give them a post because I fucking love drunk girls. I think girls handle booze differently than guys do and it usually involves them slutting out, where guys usually end up ruining all their chances of slutting out, because they are either too busy being creepy perverts or throwing up on themselves or their friends after breaking things. It’s like every wasted girl I’ve ever come in contact with has been either showing off her underwear, flashing her tits, or sucking dick in the bathroom or at least willing to try doing all of those things. The girls who let themselves get this drunk are usually medicating some kind of insecurity and since insecure girls want to be the prettiest girls in the room that all the boys want, the best way to get that attention is to throw themselves at dudes or get naked in the process. I guess it’s the same reason why herpes is so widely spread, but there’s nothing wrong with a little STD if everyone’s got ’em.

The other thing that there’s nothing wrong with is laughing at yourself the day after you were a fucking disaster by posting shit to whatever social site you’re on, because taking yourself so seriously makes me hate you and being drunk is enough of an excuse for anything stupid you do and least it’s the one I’ve been using for 2 decades. I guess that’s the reason why having your mom as a friend sucks.


I am too lazy to go through people’s facebooks and rip their drunken pictures off, but this site did it for us.
GO

Posted in:Drunk|Facebook|Girls|Unsorted

2007

05

Nov

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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There was a time when this site was a lot less celebrity shit, but no one cared about me harassing girls on myspace and making them famous, or my interviews because they were too long to read, or whatever else I used to do but don’t remember because my memory is fucking shot. I’ve been into straight vodka the last 3 months because my doctor told me that 300 pounds is too heavy and that I will die if I keep gaining my 10 lbs a month and that I need to cut out beer. Now the fun thing about vodka is that shit goes down like water and I can drink about 12 drinks in no time, but once shit hits, it hits me like a ton of fucking bricks all at the same time and I don’t remember conversations I have or stupid shit I do and now that memory loss is working its way into my everyday life. Sometimes I forget to piss when I have to and end up making a little mess that i am too lazy to clean because it always seems to clean itself up on it’s own and I feel like taking my time into something that’s pretty self-sufficient is counter-productive.

Either way, a reader found my stepBOX feature and decided to submit. For those of you who don’t know, I did this shit because girls wouldn’t send me pictures of themselves naked so I’d ask them to draw it. It’s like the Vagina Monologues the picture version and it’s funny to see how people view their genitals. If I was to draw my box and describe it in 10 word or less, it would say “my vagina looks like a penis the size of a clit”. Fuck. That was 11 words. I am not good at this, but then again, I am not good at much, but this girl is because we all like one-finger vaginas more than 2 finger vaginas because they feel better on our clit-sized penises. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Check Out All The Previous stepBOX Entries

Posted in:stepBOX|stepEXCLUSIVE|Unsorted

2007

05

Nov

I am – Kelly Brook Promoting Her Lingerie of the Day

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The thing I find funny about Kelly Brook promoting her signature lingerie line is that she’s not wearing any of it at the launch, instead she’s standing with models who are uglier than her in the lingerie. It’s some kind of fat manager shit that you see in bars, where the hot girl surrounds herself with table scraps so all the motherfuckers come up to them because they are the prize in the group. I don’t really understand why hot girls are way more fucked up than ugly chicks, but I guess it’s worth the pain you go through, because fucking a hot chick is a hell of a lot more interesting to look at when fucking than an ugly chick, even if that ugly chick over-compensates by giving the best head in the fucking world, and the hot chick refuses to suck dick and just lies there like she’s getting her hair done, it’s some psychological shit that you can’t get with an ugly girl, where the entire time you’re giving yourself high fives in your head for landing such a dime because you know the best you should be getting is the ex heroin addict who works at your 24 hour convenience store but you somehow ran enough game to get the prize….and whenever you win it’s a fuckin celebration, but you wouldn’t know anything about that and either would I because I suck at life.


Related Posts:

Kelly Brook’s Bikini Ass
Kelly Brook’s Upskirt

Posted in:Hot|Kelly Brook|Lingerie|Promoting|Unsorted

2007

03

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I realized I had a drinking problem according to the average person a long time ago, when I start drinking, I just don’t stop believing that I can keep drinking. I always just ignored the voice in my head that would tell me I am going a little too far because I don’t believe in problems. I think that you should do what you want when you want as long as it isn’t hurting anyone but yourself.

Admitting you have a problem is some weak victim bullshit cry for hugs and group therapy and it’s a lot of pressure because you always think that you need to fix the problem even if the problem is fucking awesome to begin with and I don’t like putting any pressure on myself and who the fuck cares if I am a binge drinking alcoholic other than the people I lash out on when drunk and maybe my liver when he cries me to sleep every morning…..

Either way, for some reason I’ve been going to bars with no drinks in me and within about 5 minutes I drink about 6 shots and it’s like my mind just opens up and my brain’s like “let’s roll”. Sometimes I hate what happens when I am drunk and look back on all the stupid shit I could have prevented, but I never apologize for my actions, because I don’t believe you can take back shit you do or say and sometimes when drunk you say some pretty hurtful shit to people around you. The good news is that I realize that booze has put me in situations and places a sober man would never venture, like into some bad vaginas but with experience comes wisdom. So booze in a lot of ways, booze is like my formal education.

It’s Saturday night, it’s daylight savings time, bars are open for an extra hour so drink your fucking faces off… I’ll be thinking about sobering up tomorrow, but right now, I’m going on another drunken adventure.

Here are my links from yesterday. I’m a little slow lately.

Some UK Big Brother Chick Named Emma Greenwood Has a Vagina Slip
GO

Obie Trice New Tune 2 Baby Daddy Leaked…Listen To It Because It’s Fucking Good.
GO

Adam Carolla’s Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion Video With Nudity
GO

How To Wake Someone Up
GO

Spice Girls New Video With Some Tit Action But Mute This Shit The Song Gave Me Aids.
GO

Watch This Video Of People Watching a Scary Movie in the Theater…
GO

Some Chinese Dude Jerking Off in Public
GO

Amy Winehouse Does Macy Grey at the VMAs Video – If You Haven’t Already Seen This…See It….
GO

Jessica Simspon With Some Good Cleavage Lookin’ Good at Some Macy’s Event
GO

Lohan’s Boyfriend Gives Her a Shit Colored ‘Stache
GO

Britney Wants to Fuck Kim Kardashian
GO

Crazy Rock Paper Scissors Game in Japan
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Britney Spears Pulling Down Her Pants
GO

Kim Superhead Steffans Says Bill Maher Only Likes Girls He Can Put Down
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Hayden Panettiere Cries for Dolphins
GO

Japanese Gyno Video That Makes No Sense To Me
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Jordan Lookin’ Good at a Book Signing
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Some Girl Seducing the Camera With Her Tits….
GO

Mirror Reflection Prank Video
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Kate Moss in December’s Vogue
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Some Chick Named Leighton Meester Dressed as a Slutty Flapper….
GO

Best Fight Scene Video
GO

Som Girl Deep Throats a Balloon…Too Bad I Think She’s a Man
GO

Nicole Richie Still Hasn’t Got Her Abortion
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Bikini Car Wash Video
GO

Some Royal Bikini Poll
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Some 50 Year old Catholic School Principal Was Arrested for Hookin’ in Women’s Clothes
GO

Some Cam Girl Dances and Shows Off Her Vagina…
GO

Tila Tequila Tit Video
GO

World’s Best Ass Contest
GO

Kathie Lee Gifford’s Got Some Tits
GO

Tupac Assassination Documentary
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Some Chick Ties Her Vagina Together
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This Cam Girl Has a Stripper Pole in Her Bedroom…If You Go Home With a Chick and She Has a Stripper Pole…Marry Her…
GO

Some Nicole Narain Playboy Pictures
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Bai Ling in Her Underwear
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Kim Kardashian Bullshits About Her Friendship With Paris
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The Hills are Doing a Casting Call for the Heidi/Spencer Wedding Because the Show is Real
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Photobucket Dirty Porn…Like Really Fucking Dirty Porn…
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More Photobucket Nudity
GO

Jerry Springer is Lookin’ For You
GO

A Little Hardcore Delights Action
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Use This Spray To Get Laid Because We All Like Sex
GO

From the Forum:

Watch The Puberty Pals
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Download the May 2007 Playboy PDF
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Download Some Pictures of Girls With Tattoos
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Download Daft Punk Discovery Album
GO

Download Rage Against Machine – Live Rare Album
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Download Daft Punk – Alive (limited edition)
GO

Download this Amateur Couple’s Sex Tape and Pictures…AMazing
GO

Some Lesbian Couple’s Homemade Pictures
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Random Amateur Pictures Thread
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

03

Nov

I am – Princess Stephanie in a Bikini of the Day

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So I got really fucking wasted and it was fuckin’ messy. I don’t remember much more than a whole lot of shit talking and meeting a group of people from Australia who were amazing. One of them was this little hot Hilary Duff girl who I was trying to seduce with my drunken conversation but ended up fucking it up because I am easily distracted and got some girl who claimed she was 15 to stick her tongue in my mouth. She was jacked on blow and her tongue tasted like shit, but I did it because I had no choice. It was my duty.

On the walk home, I decided to stand outside a chachi bar and talk to my people, because me and chachi motherfuckers are cut from the same cloth. After being blown off by every single one of them, I decided to tell the world how Montreal is filled with losers. Lucky for me, I was next to Mr Strong Mafia Guy, who must have been the ambassador for the city, because when I walked by him and told him he was a Montreal piece of shit loser, he told me to fuck off, so I said that I’d fucking kill him and he went fuckin’ crazy. I guess Junior Mafia Guido and his 240 lbs of muscle doesn’t like when short fat motherfuckers tell him they are going to kill him, because he fuckin threw down his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt while his slut of a girlfriend tried holding him back saying shit like “if you do this I am leaving” and other really dramatic things that her stupid brian managed to put together. I am glad I made their night more exciting. I like to think of myself as some kind of Santa Claus who brings joy to people’s lives every time I leave my house. This is all batting practice for stepTV 2008 baby.

Princess Stephanie is kinda like Santa Claus too, only instead of gifts she brings an old body in a bikini and on days like today, that’s just as good. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Princess Madeleine Bikini Pictures
Little Princesses Morning Reflections that Scare Me

Posted in:Bikini|old|Princess Stephanie|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger’s Got Tits of the Day

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People like to rip into this bitch for not having much talent and lookin’ like a man. I don’t know what kind of chick’s you’re fucking, but I have seen her video and her body is so fucking tight that I have no concerns about her rugged lookin’ face or her adam’s apple because I am too busy trying to figure out how the fuck she got the way she did. I am figuring she works out all the fuckin’ time and it’s workin’ out for her. If only every busted faced whore hit the fucking gym, the world be a better fucking place because I’ll take a hot body over a pretty face any day and you’d take pretty much anything that isn’t your hand if the opportunity presented itself and that’s why you should be the last one giving her a hard time about having a hard face and spend more time lookin’ at her hard tits.


Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger is the Leader of the Pack

Posted in:cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Nicole Scherzinger's Got Tits of the Day

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People like to rip into this bitch for not having much talent and lookin’ like a man. I don’t know what kind of chick’s you’re fucking, but I have seen her video and her body is so fucking tight that I have no concerns about her rugged lookin’ face or her adam’s apple because I am too busy trying to figure out how the fuck she got the way she did. I am figuring she works out all the fuckin’ time and it’s workin’ out for her. If only every busted faced whore hit the fucking gym, the world be a better fucking place because I’ll take a hot body over a pretty face any day and you’d take pretty much anything that isn’t your hand if the opportunity presented itself and that’s why you should be the last one giving her a hard time about having a hard face and spend more time lookin’ at her hard tits.


Related Posts:

Nicole Scherzinger’s Baby Love Video
Nicole Scherzinger’s Nipple in Her Music Video
Nicole Scherzinger is the Leader of the Pack

Posted in:cleavage|Nicole Scherzinger|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Rihanna’s Got No Make Up on of the Day

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I like Rihanna and I am not 100 percent what it is that I like about her, but she’s got something going on. Maybe it’s the fact that she can sing and every time I see a girl rock a mic like it’s my penis I just imagine what it would be like to hear them sing while banging. I’ve never really had a chick willing to sing when we fuck, but if I had ever found out, I wouldn’t know what my playlist would be, but I know it’d be hot. It’s like watching a girl dance and knowing exactly how she fucks. I was out last night with this girl I know who dances like a fucking pornstar fucks. She shakes her ass in ways that makes her the hottest fucking girl in the room and all I can do is stare while imaging her dancing on my face. The shit drives me so crazy that I have no control over going up to her and trying to grab at her ass like it’s mine and that never goes over well and usually ends with me being escorted out by security or by her boyfriend trying to fight me.

I also met a hot girl last night who I was chatting up until her favorite song came on and she ran to the dance floor, only to bust the lamest dance moves I had ever seen. It was like her feet were strapped to cement blocks while she wailed her arms around and humped the air like a frat boy humps inanimate objects to make his boys giggle like the school girls they wish they were.

Either way, Rihanna isn’t wearing any make-up and it is refreshing because my most recent turn off is girls who paint their faces up like they are some kind of clown and it’s birthday party time. I realize halloween was a couple of days ago and shit, but when I see the shit crusted to their fake tanned faces, I can’t help but laugh to myself, knowing they spent hours doing that shit to themselves and for some disillusioned way think they actually look good when in reality they look like Lionel Fucking Richie, all night long.


Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Hot Shiny Legs
Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead Cleavage Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna Bathing Suit Pictures

Posted in:Hot|Make-Up|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

02

Nov

I am – Rihanna's Got No Make Up on of the Day

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I like Rihanna and I am not 100 percent what it is that I like about her, but she’s got something going on. Maybe it’s the fact that she can sing and every time I see a girl rock a mic like it’s my penis I just imagine what it would be like to hear them sing while banging. I’ve never really had a chick willing to sing when we fuck, but if I had ever found out, I wouldn’t know what my playlist would be, but I know it’d be hot. It’s like watching a girl dance and knowing exactly how she fucks. I was out last night with this girl I know who dances like a fucking pornstar fucks. She shakes her ass in ways that makes her the hottest fucking girl in the room and all I can do is stare while imaging her dancing on my face. The shit drives me so crazy that I have no control over going up to her and trying to grab at her ass like it’s mine and that never goes over well and usually ends with me being escorted out by security or by her boyfriend trying to fight me.

I also met a hot girl last night who I was chatting up until her favorite song came on and she ran to the dance floor, only to bust the lamest dance moves I had ever seen. It was like her feet were strapped to cement blocks while she wailed her arms around and humped the air like a frat boy humps inanimate objects to make his boys giggle like the school girls they wish they were.

Either way, Rihanna isn’t wearing any make-up and it is refreshing because my most recent turn off is girls who paint their faces up like they are some kind of clown and it’s birthday party time. I realize halloween was a couple of days ago and shit, but when I see the shit crusted to their fake tanned faces, I can’t help but laugh to myself, knowing they spent hours doing that shit to themselves and for some disillusioned way think they actually look good when in reality they look like Lionel Fucking Richie, all night long.


Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Hot Shiny Legs
Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead Cleavage Pics
Rihanna Bikini Pictures
Rihanna Bathing Suit Pictures

Posted in:Hot|Make-Up|Rihanna|Unsorted