I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

04

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I had my mind set on doing a bunch more posts today with all the fucking MTV pics that hit. I was going to live blog the show because I haven’t live blogged in a long time but realized that I don’t get it on my one channel. I was going to write about how Cameron Diaz has AMAZING fucking legs especially considering she’s 40 years old. I was going to talk about how Victoria Beckham looks like a total stripping piece of trash with her pink bra exposed and I love stripping pieces of trash. I was going to to talk about how Amanda Bynes is a mini Lohan and looks all coked up and ratty like Lohan and I like that too. I was going to write about Megan Fox’s prison tattoo on her forearm and how that shit is not hot to me because I don’t like obscure randomly placed tattoos of Marilyn Monroe because they remind me of old army men, but bitch is pretty fucking decent looking. Then I realized that uploading all these pictures you’ve already seen would be a lot of fucking work for nothing, so I just did my stepLINKS instead motherfucker…and there are a lot of them…All worth clickin…


The stepHOTLINE Hottest Message of the Day – I wonder if this chick is hot because I think I am in love….
GO

Britney Spears has a Busted Cellulite Ridden Underwear Riding High Exposed Ass
GO

AKON picks up a Kid and Throws Him Because He’s Fucking Insane and thinks He’s Still In Africa
GO

Hometown Hotties Semi Finalists For You To Vote on After Jerking Off To
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Girls Aloud Sarah Harding Tight Upskirt
GO

Old Jenna Jameson Naked Pics
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Lauren Hastings is a Useless Slut Who Models and is Riding Lohan’s Name To The Top This is a New Useless Message Wishing Her Luck…While Bitch Wrote Me a Myspace Message Calling Lohan Going to Rehab and the Whole DUI Karma. She’s full of shit and I hate people who are full of shit. Click the Link….
GO

Have you Ever Seen THis Carmen Electra Naked School Girl Video?
GO

Blowjob in the Park Video
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Pussy Glamore is a Lingerie Company and this is a Behind The Scenes Video Of Their Photoshoot
GO

Sophia Loren has a Hot Nip Slip
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Britney Spears Upskirt Panty Shot
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Kim Kardashian Has an Insane Big Booty
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Paris Hilton Going to Jail Video
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MTV Movie Awards 2007 Picture Post
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MTV Movie Awards Sarah Silverman Monlogue Bullshit Where She Disses Paris
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Attack of the Penis
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Crazy High School Girl Runs After a Dude and gets Owned
GO

Paris Hilton’s Mug Shot and Booking Sheet
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Andy Warhol Eating a Burger
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Some Chick Named Carli Banks Goes to the Beach
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This is Phamous69 – Click on Movies There Are A Lot of Obscure Erotic Artistic Shit You’ll Like
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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How About a Little Dinner in the Sky
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Idiot Lets His Friends Brand Him
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Here’s Some Weird Porn For You Called ET Lesbian Alien Sex That I am Pretty Sure You’ll Like Cuz You Are Weird
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Crazed Homeless Guy Gets in a Fight with Shrek in Hollywood
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How About some Lesbian Naked Baby Oil Wrestling
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Victoria Silvstedt Fully Naked Pics I’ve Never Seen
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Adrianne Curry Working the Pole
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Rihanna Photoshoot With Jay Z Jizz on her Legs
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Some Chick Named Lara Bingle Modeling Some Bare Lingerie
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This is Considered Good Ass Lyposuction Results
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Some MILF Sex Tape – NSFW
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How About Some Coco Exposed Tits
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Some Teen Masturbating int he Shower
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Brazilian Butt Augmentation and Vagina Rejuvenation Success Story…
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A really Shitty Video About Some Loser Who Wants To Be a Bra When He Dies…I am Sure This Dude Will Get a TV DEAL…Too Bad the Girl Is Fucking Ugly….
GO

A Whole Lot of Ana Beatriz Barros Lookin’ Hot
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Some Hot Chick Shaking Her Ass and Doing the Splits on Webcam
GO

Heidi Montag’s New Tits the MTV Paid for Because They Are Fiming this season of The Hills During the Summer With Lots of Bikini Action – True Story – Someone Emailed that into me.
GO

Shitty Pictures from an Underwear Party
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Christina Aguilera Walking Her Pet Monkey of the Day
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Get your girl a C-String…It’s the New Big Thing…
GO

Call the stepHOTLINE, It’s Free and I Care About What You Have to Say
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Remember To Use This Spray to Get Laid
GO

Heres a Video of Big Tits on the Beach….

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Big Breasted Whores of the Day

I am not sure how legal it is to videotape girls walking by you then putting it on the internet but I really have no choice with this one. We were watching these girls at a bar get chatted up by a lot of married “business men” who were probably in town looking for a “good time”. We got stuck in the elevator with them at the end of the night where they made some funny sex jokes and my friend thought they had a great personality, the kind of chick you’d want to marry. I was too busy looking at their insane bodies. They got off on the 7th floor with a group of dudes who were also in the elevator and who probably didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, but when a girl like this follows you back to your hotel room, you can’t be sending them home, if you know what I mean.

For the record I am not implying that they are anything but girls out to have a good time and if I was capable of it, they are the kind of girls I’d want to have a good time with…but when I was on the market, I usually got stuck with the lower grade meat you find on the street shaking and ratty and lookin’ for a dollar

The whole time I was watching them stand there and rub their tits and make rude jokes I thought I was day dreaming….it had to be a dream, but I was drunk and had this video to remind me they actually existed. Montreal is known for the hot girls, you should come visit. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepTV|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Pamela Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Pam Anderson is Kissing some Magician named Hans Klok at his magic show. Magic shows are pretty fucking lame, but I can only assume virgins are into this shit, like they are into wrestling and computer games and that’s part of the reason I am posting them. See, I totally work for you.

I guess the only really magic at this event is that this hag can still pull off a bathing suit in public. But lots of money in plastic surgery and maintenance isn’t really all that magical…I do know that nothing says party like Pam Anderson in a one piece bathing suit, showing off her old haggard body that is probably hotter than any body you’ve ever seen at your local strip club, I know that you still jerk off to this whore, because that’s what a legacy does. No matter how old she gets we will always remember what she was and reality is, she still has something working for her, even if she’s plastic.

Speaking of plastic, I was leaving a strip club a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine who had been there about 2 hours before I showed up. He spent most of his welfare check on this one bitch in the booth and kept going on about how horny she made him. She had huge fake tits and looked like she dreamt of being Pam Anderson. When we walked by a dollar peep show that pretty much plays clips of porn for a dollar dude walked in. He told me to wait outside. About 3 minutes later he walked out and had just rubbed one out. He was sold on how amazing these things were and I thought the whole thing was fucking hysterical. I have never done the whole peepshow thing and probably never will. I watch too much porn on the computer and shit does nothing for me, so paying a dollar to sit in a booth where dirty fucking men have busted nut is not my idea of a good fucking time. I do think that it is a good option for someone like you though, seeing as you never get laid and masturbation has become boring. It’s kind like the middle ground between doing it on public transit to switch things up but still being private enough for you to not get arrested.

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing SuitPamela Anderson One Piece Bathing SuitPamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing SuitPamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Pamela Anderson|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Some Lohan Personal Pictures of the Day

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Here are some pictures of Lohan showing us all how she is a broken down teenager with major fucking issues. I am talking goth chick who cuts herself, or crazed drug induced psychosis, or just some freaky fucking fetish shit that I don’t fucking understand, but you probably do because you’re a fucking creep….

Speaking of creep, I was on the roof of some bar patio this weekend smoking a cigar next to some Persian chick. This middle aged man started chatting her up and thought that I was trying to move in on his game. I wasn’t really interested because I don’t pick up chicks. I was kickin’ back watching their TV and dude was telling her how I was trying to look down her shirt. I let his bullshit slide the first few times then I took it personally. Reality is, when you are constantly called a fucking creep day in and day out for begging girls on the net to get naked, eventually you either start believing it or become pretty defensive and angry when people say it….

I decided to tell him that he’s got shitty game and that there’s no way that Persian girl will ever let him ride her oil well. That was my Iranian reference of the day. I don’t remember how heated shit got with him, because I lost interest and zoned out to finish smoking my cigar, but I am pretty convinced that the girl was on my side in the end and just wanted him to fuck off because he was the creep….

The point of my story is to never judge a book by its cover. Sure I look like a sleazy fucker and I say sleazy fucking things and I like looking at girls naked and I like checking out their tits and trying to see them naked…okay, maybe I am a creep and you should keep me away from your girlfriends, but I think it should be because they will fall in love with me and not because I will touch them inappropriately, even if I want to.

Lohan on the otherhand is a well oiled machine. Everything she does is strategic and has a team of consultants telling her how to act. I can only assume that these pics of Lohan are staged and bitch isn’t as creepy or intense or morbid as these pictures make her out to be, she’s just full of fucking shit and trying to be hardcore in some cocaine rage. I am convinced that she just sits at home, self medicates, is insane and counts her money while she’s not letting male models cum inside her….the knives are just props to make us all believe her bullshit story…otherwise shit would have never hit the internet. Believing the bullshit is just feeding into the fucking hype that is a little freckled slut for Long Island.

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit PicturesLohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit PicturesLohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Posted in:Candids|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Brooke Burke Bikini Pics of the Day

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Brooke Burke just had a kid recently and she looks pretty fucking tight. When the girls I know get knocked up they usually end up at an abortion clinic because pregnancy is bad for business in the whore ring, even though some people dig it. The other women I know who have kids are usually at that point in their life where they don’t need to seduce anymore. They are settled down and ready to raise a family and don’t give a fuck what they look like anymore. It just means the bad habits they made while eating whatever the fuck they wanted while pregnant stick and a life of getting fatter and fatter is to follow, always blaming the miracle they created for their demise without actually admitting that part of them resents their little babies…

Brooke Burke is pretty much the opposite of that. She looks fucking awesome, and feel like her whole baby thing was a publicity stunt and a pillow under her shirt because this body isn’t fucking normal after having a kid. But if I am wrong and that she did actually drop life into this world via her hot box, it just means that she’s no virgin and that she takes loads in her….and with a body like this…that’s a pretty nice thought….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Burke|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Gay Porn Moment of the Day

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I hate this Sarah Silverman bitch. She looks like shit and is about as funny as the rash on my balls that won’t go away. I know to other people a rash on my balls that won’t go away could cause a good fucking laugh, but the bleeding, burning and infection I have to deal with daily makes it not very funny at all. Watching her make lame shit and piss jokes that she thinks are fucking hysterical and that were kinda pushing the limit and were better than anything that fat gay dude from Hollywood Squares with the red plastic glasses could do it still makes me question my sexuality, because if there are women like that in the world I don’t know if I can look at vagina the same way ever again. Since I am impotent, I guess the fact that I don’t get it up kinda makes me asexual and reality is that there are so many amazing girls in the world that I wouldn’t give up on a whole race because of one bad apple, so in my mind I’ll just pretend this slut has a dick, which isn’t too much of a stretch.

On the same note, Jessica Biel is more ripped than Paris Hilton’s vagina after the night she spent with Rick Solomon in the hotel room that she’ll never live down. That shit will follow her for life like her herpes but this post is about Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman, two dudes in women’s clothing, trying to make you laugh but almost making out on MTV and how there is nothing hot about that unless you’re a motherfucker who likes tranny porn. Obviously there are a lot of tranny porn lovers out there because porn companies make this shit and I can only assume that the 15 of you fuckers who read this site are probably in that market because I attract the fucking winners.

Either way, this is your Gay Porn Moment of the day because if these bitches don’t have dicks, I will be fucking surprised. Don’t let their tits deceive you. Remember that they have ruined a hot fantasy of girl on girl that may never have the same appeal it once had….

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Kissing|Lesbian|Sarah Silverman|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead of the Day

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I think it’s funny that bloggers call big foreheads fiveheads because five is bigger than four, get it. It’s one of those witty play on words that makes them successful and me a waste of fucking space on the internet. I do like how all the abuse Rihanna’s been getting the last little while about lookin’ like an alien has made her make changes to her hairstyle, like making bangs that hide the fucking thing. I think she’s pretty hot regardless of her big forehead because I have no standards and I am too busy staring at her tits. I also realize that I have banged girls with a lot worse than a big forehead. I am talking girls who are missing limbs, who were drugged up, who had serious disabilities, who were fat, who stank like shit, who had what looked like an empty scrotum for vagina lips, who may have been men years earlier and a little extra forehead would have been a lot fucking easier to stomach. But since I was a pervert and a trooper, I pulled through. Either way, the lesson learned is that a little touch up paint may not fix a broken car, but a broken car is better than a scooter, because scooters are fucking gay. What I mean is that the more you dis someone, the more likely they are in making changes to suit your needs….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

Jun

I am – Sienna Miller’s Sex Video of the Day

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I posted the Sienna Miller Sex Scenes from Factory Girl a long time ago. The Weinstein Company emailed me threatening a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. I don’t have any money to fight the Weinstein company and even if I did no one would pay attention to the site because I was getting sued by them, so I took them down. I am testing my luck with Paris Hilton exposed shit, but at least that will get me some TV time.

Anyway, there’s all this buzz that the sex scene was real and who really gives a fuck. Sex scenes in movies have been real for the last 40 years. I remember reading Jack Nicholson’s sex scenes were always real. But since all you care I am posting the raipdshare link to this video HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Thong Bikini Pictures of the Day

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For some reason this girl loves this thong bikini, she’s been seeing wearing it at least 4 times that I know of and I am pretty bad at keeping on top of this shit, so it’s probably been a lot more. I know she isn’t known for being hygienic or into changing or clean clothes but you’d think that someone with her kind of money could afford to buy herself 10 different thong bikinis. Unless she sleeps in the fucking thing, it’s takes the same amount of effort to put on a new bikini as it does to put on a dirty crusted up one. At leas then when she’d hit the beach and shows everyone what K-Fed did to her, we’d at least know that the pics are new or old….

I remember when I used to hang with a girl who was a lot like Britney. She wasn’t a popstar and didn’t live the lavish life of celebrity, but she did never wash during the summer. She would just go swimming and think that that counted.

I admit that I am not the best at showering or changing clothes. Right now I have no hot water in my shit hole apartment, but at least I recognize that I am not clean. I don’t jump in public pool and spray on cheap cologne and pretend that I am clean….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears|Thong|Unsorted

2007

02

Jun

The stepHOTLINE of the Day

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The concept of the hotline is simple. Call me at any of these numbers and leave me a message. Tip me off on celebrity gossip or sitings, tell me a story, let me hear you and your girl having sex, masturbate on the line for me, tell me your problems, leave me a joke, do anything you want, just call in and I will listen. It’s the best way to reach me.

I will be posting the best ones up on the net. Let your voice be heard.

Local Numbers that will reach the hotline…


L.A.
1 (213) 784-1265

NYC
1 (212) 863-9676

Dallas
1 (214) 296-2141

Miami
1 (786) 507-5603

Chicago
1 (312) 267-0604

Toronto
1 (416) 848-1552

Vancouver
1 (604) 628-9879

Montreal
1 (514) 448-0315

Or click on the Egg’s “Call Me” button if you use Internet Explorer…Which I don’t so I have no idea whether it works.

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Cuddles.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted