I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

10

Jul

I am – Ali Larter has Lunch of the Day

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I know this Ali Larter bitch is pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but then again so are most of the people I post about, she is just less important than the rest. She’s not in any major movies and hasn’t really done much with herself since the Whip Cream Bikini scene in Varsity blues, but she has taken her little tits to a place where people care to take pictures of her going to lunch, stuffing her face and pretending to be excited to see her friends.

I never linked incorporating food into sex. I always thought it was disgusting and I am a fat man who on the surface looks like I love eating. Reality is that I just don’t like moving and I like drinking beer, but that’s not the point, the point is that when my wife was about 50 pounds lighter and she was just starting to emotionally eat and pack on more weight than her natural slow metabolism and 2 kids had already packed on, she decided to be kinky. I remember walking into my apartment drunk one night and all I could smell was peanut butter. Bitch had smeared shit all over her pussy and tits in hopes of getting me to lick it up. I told her that the peanut butter trick was for lonely ladies with pet dogs and that she stank so bad I was going to throw up. We threw her in the shower and that was the last time she tried to bring food into the bedroom for sex, that didn’t stop her from eating chocolate, chips, cookies, burgers, pizza, cake and anything she can get her greasy fat hands in bed, but it did stop her from intentionally putting it on her lady parts for me to eat off.

Either way, I don’t even know if Ali Larter was the whip cream bikini bitch, I just ran with it and here are some pictures of Ali Larter having lunch, because I haven’t eaten anything yet today and watching her show off that she eats makes me jealous of her budget to go to restaurants while she’s more useless of a person than me.

Posted in:Ali Larter|Lunch|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – Jenna Jameson at some Party of the Day

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I don’t find Jenna Jameson hot at all. I know she’s a dirty washed up porn slut who everyone gives credit to for being such a great business woman in writing books, producing porn, selling molds of her cunt and doing whatever else she does to make money, but when I look at her I just see a whore and I have never really had anything against whores, I’d pay them for sex and shit, but I never wanted to make them my girlfriend and when I could jerk off I’d never jerk off to them, because the thought of being so dirty and loose in the hips, always made me more sick to my stomach than anything else.

I am not trying to say that I would only prey on virgins, but there was a time when I’d meet girls in bars and we’d get to talking and they’d tell me how many dude’s they had banged in their lifetime and I’d take the drink I bought them out of their hand and dump it out on the floor, because it’s easy for a bitch to get cock, all they have to do is leave the house and when a bitch gets as much cock as someone like Jenna, they have emotional issues. In her case, I get that it’s her job, but it’s not a very hard job to get in and being successful at what she does is a lot easier than getting that promotion at the shitty office you work at. If the world worked like a porn movie, the richest people in the world would be the ones who can take the most dicks in their ass, and that is why I have no respect for this talentless prostitute.

I knew this stripper who I’d run into on the street and shit, outside the club and working hours. She was always with a different guy. When I asked her where she met all these dudes, she would say at work or at clubs. I would ask why she hangs with them and she’d say because they buy me stuff, they take me on vacation and take me to nice restaurants. When I told her that she was a whore because she made it clear that she would bang them, she said something like it’s not like they pay me in cash. Point being that money hungry bitches who know that loser dudes pay for their company and use their pussies to get ahead are trash.

Either way, I figured I’d post pictures of her partying to remind you that disgusting sluts are out there and people like you like them

Posted in:Drunk|Jenna Jameson|Party|Slut|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – Hilary Swank Bikini Pictures of the Day

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If I was a real blogger I’d write that bitch was wrong in saying Boys Don’t Cry because she never got in a bikini for them to put that theory to test. She probably hasn’t pulled out her dick in the movie and raped anyone either, but I do know that there are some things that make a guy cry.

Hilary Swank has only been hot in one role, and that’s Boys Don’t Cry, because even though she looked like a dude, I still got to see her stuff Becky from Roseanne with a dildo and at the time it came out lesbians had little place in the World, except maybe for Ellen or this bitch who worked at the laundry mat down the street from me who always gave me dirty looks because I had a penis…

Reality is, I am trying to get ready for this cruise my wife went on. She isn’t coming with me anymore because I convinced her that I needed to get away from her and that she wouldn’t fit on the plane, fit in a bathing suit or fit in the deck chairs they had lined up by the pool. I am not as excited as I should be about this cruise because someone told me everything costs money once you’re there, I am not into being locked in a floating mall with a bunch of old ladies for 2 days without seeing land, and I have never travelled. Today’s goal was to go out and get sedatives from the doctor because health care is free, but I slept in and now I am forced to come back to this site and post shit you’ve already seen about Hilary Swank’s shrunken tits and horseface. I don’t mind, I am actually going to miss doing this everyday and that’s more embarrassing than when Hilary Swank’s testicles fall out of her bikini and into the fag she’s dating’s mouth….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Hilary Swank|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I realized that you may all be right and I could be a pervert. I never really thought I was because all the people I hang out with always got way more sex than me, always did way more dirty things than me and I was always the motherfucker asking people about their experiences thinking that we were just having good conversation, but I rarely showed any interest in anything else they were doing…just the sex. Anyway, it started to rain out of nowhere today and I ran outside in hopes of running into an unsuspecting girl in white who got caught in the showers in hopes of seeing some tits….All I saw was an old lady with the biggest hardest nipples I ever saw but they were aiming to the ground, but I still looked. So I am a pervert….and these are my links….

Cindy Crawford Still Looks Hot at some Event With Her Tits Out…
GO

Slutty or Fake? You Decide….
GO

Joystick or Sex Toy? You Decide….
GO

Britney Smokin With Her Baby
GO

Paula Abdul Playin Harry Potter on TV
GO

Bianca Gascoigne Topless and Wet Pictures I’ve Never Seen Because I have No Idea Who She Is…
GO

Busty Girls Playing With Their Tits on a Plane Video
GO

Crazy Big Brother Chick Cries Like a Baby Over a Picture
GO

Heidi Montag July 4th American Flag Bikini Because She’s a Trailer Trash Drunk
GO

Fat Dude Does a Man Tit Dance in the Pool
GO

Big Brother Retarded Big Tit Slip in a Dunk Tank Video
GO

J.Lo’s Got Some Rockin Tits When She Pretends to be Rockin Out
GO

Gwen Stefani Showin Off Tits and Stomach on the Street because She’s Ugly
GO

Shakira Lookin’ Like a Ho in Hamburg
GO

Victoria Silvstedt Photoshoot Video Because She Tried to Sue Me…
GO

Cellphone in the Ass Video – NSFW
GO

Spice Girls Hire a Therapist
GO

Jack Nicholson with Bitches and Sandwiches on a Boat Topless
GO

Pete Doherty Cheated on Kate Moss With This Slag
GO

Dude Tries a Backflip from High Tower Video
GO

Some Woman’s HUGE fucking Booty
GO

Rapper T.I’s Lighter Side of Gangster
GO

Harry Potter Cast Gets on Walk of Fame Exclusives
GO

Wife Uses Husband To Cream Her Coffee (NSFW)
GO

Clay Aiken Got Beat Up
GO

Pussy Cat Dolls Wearing Very Little Clothes for Earth
GO

Pyro Techniques Explosion Sends 2 People at a Beyonce Concert Sends People to the Hospital Video
GO

Hot Slut Named Vikki Blows May Not Be A Pornstar….But is Half Naked
GO

Rennee Olstead’s 18 Now – So Look At Her Big Young Clothed Tits – It’s Legal….
GO

Denise Richards Got Dumped on Vacation
GO

Danielle Lloyd’s Showin’ Off Some Tit
GO

Amazing Pregnancy Baby Shower Cake I Would Jerk Off To If I Could
GO

Cop Violently Pushes Some Annoying Dude…
GO

Lionel RIchie Talks About Nicole Richie
GO

Old Geena Davis See Through Dress VIdeo
GO

Japaneses Human Tetris
GO

Japanese WOman Gives Head to a Tiny Man Video
GO

Jessica Simpson Showing Off Her Skinny Stomach
GO

Nicole RIchie and Joel Madden Get Kicked Out of a Hotel Because Joel Madden Thinks He’s Tough
GO

Handicap Dance Contest Video
GO

Models Jessica Stam and Coco Rocha Webcam Video of the Acting a Fool
GO

Harry Potter is a Massive Queer
GO

Gemma Atkinson’s Toy Doll Shoot For You Pervs
GO

Flickr Tits
GO

Live Earth Picture Post of Some of the Fools Involved
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Italian Chick Named Maria Mazza Posing
GO

Lucy Pinder and her Massive Racket
GO

Cam Girl Sasha And Her Big Tits Video
GO

Tribute to the Mini Skirt
GO

Use This Spray TO Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Everyone has been writing about this girl like she’s the next Lohan, I was always confused about it because she looks like a fucking troll. I was thinking that at first she was a make a wish foundation candidate and people were just giving a terminally ill girl her dream, but her career has been too long lived for it to be a make a wish deal and people seem to just ignore the fact that she is or looks disabled.

She does remind me of this one girl I banged once. She was pretty sad and lonely and no one liked her because she was 4 foot 4. She had only had never had a boyfriend, but had sex with anyone willing, unfortunately I was one of those guys. She insisted that I don’t use a condom, and what that happens I insist on using one, because she didn’t know me for more than about 45 mins before ending up naked in the back alley of a bar. Either way, when I was done, I had to tie the condom in a knot and put it in my pocket because I was convinced she was so desperate that she’d take the fucking thing and try to knock herself up.

Either way, to those who find this Panettier bitch hot, here she is half naked.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Hayden Panettiere|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan on the beach in a bikini lookin’ alright for Brooke Hogan.

The funny thing about bikinis like this is that they are pretty fucking revealing. I was looking at these pictures before posting them and I could see her full vagina. I can tell where there’s meat and where there isn’t and that’s pretty much the closest thing there is to seeing her sprawled out on a bed diddling herself naked. When a girl is just rockin’ underwear, you don’t see this kind of definition and this post may make me seem creepy as fucking hell but I am not the only one thinking this. I was talking to a friend who just went to some public pool who went off about how he doesn’t understand why guys focus on tits and asses when girls are around them in bikinis, you just have to look at the crotch and pretty much see everything they have to offer. My friend is also a 3 time sex offender so maybe it is a little creepy.

Eitehr way, I want to go off on how Brooke Hogan is thick and disgusting and has a broken down pick up truck of a face and looks like a man but these pictures don’t bother me, she’s tight bodied and bigger and now that I know she’s got a box and not balls, I am way more into her and her cheap stripper ways than I was before.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted|Vagina|Wet

2007

09

Jul

I am – Lisa Rinna is a Fucking Clown of the Day

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Lisa Rinna hasn’t done much since Melrose Place. If you are wondering why I know she was on Melrose Place, it’s because I keep track of all celebrities or semi-celebrities with big tits and a ton of plastic surgery, it’s kind of a hobbie. I also used to do pretty hard drugs in 1996 that left me on various couches with a group of people who were in love with the show and followed it like it was a fucking cult. I think one guy even got the shit tattooed on his back or something because he was crazy and thought he was living in the show but that’s not important.

What is important is seeing a bitch pick herself up from the depths of getting no work, and realize her place in society and that is being a clown at birthday parties. Here are some pictures of her in action but not in costume because if she gave the whole act away, no one would want to hire her.

I am really only posting these because her nipples are hard, she’s wet and she’s more flexible than my wife, which isn’t saying much, I think the Fridge is more flexible than her because it opens. I guess she’s just had nothing better to do than work out the last 11 years…

Posted in:Clown|Lisa Rinna|Nipples|Tits|Unsorted|Working Out

2007

09

Jul

I am – Alessandra Ambrosio Slutting out of the Day

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So these are some more pictures form the Ambrosio day at the beach that I didn’t bother posting because I figure you’ve all seen this bitch half naked and every other site beat me to it. Since I haven’t bothered checkin any other sites today because I was too busy getting a lunch at a place I always go on Monday’s because they have a $2 spaghetti special that I can’t pass up on because I love spaghetti it makes me feel so cultured and at $2 I can afford it because my wife doesn’t notice when I steal change….

Either way, one of the girls who works there an knows me started telling me how I scared off one of her waitress friends because I added her to facebook and asked her what she was wearing. For the last 2 months bitch has been running in the bathroom hiding when I get in and refuses to take my order or even make eye contact with me. Reality is I ask every girl what she is wearing whether she is hot or not, it’s just my way of communicating, I can’t get it up so any sexual harassment should be non-threatening, and people need to stop taking themselves so fucking seriously, they need to stop thinking that they are so fucking important and they should think I am out to get them because this is what I do all day, I don’t even remember half the shit I spew. Your life isn’t the O.C. and sometimes when you look at things as a joke it makes life a little more fun, instead of hiding in bathrooms you should just get on webcam and show me your fuckin’ tits.

That said, we should all take a little cue from Alessandra Ambrosio and how she isn’t taking life too seriously as she gets herpes in public.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Ass|Kissing|Making Out|Slut|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Reese Witherspoon Scratching her Ass of the Day

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I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to sing a song to my wife about an itchy vagina. I was freestyling, because I am hip hop like that and she wasn’t having it. I came back to my computer and saw these pictures of Reese Witherspoon doing something up her skirt and I may not know exactly what she’s doing but I will post the lyrics to my rap. It’s really good so you may want to sit down for this one…or get up and sing it to yourself while throwin’ your hands up in the air.

my vagina is itchy….
i slept with a guy and now it’s itchy
oh my vagina is itchy
He was probably Bi and rockin H-P-V
I don’t remember cuz I was on GHB
Oh my vagina is itchy…

I don’t know why bitch is itching, maybe it’s because of the two kids that have passed through, maybe it’s bad hygiene, maybe it’s a bug bite or maybe it’s gotta do with the new cock she’s been testing since her divorce. I do know that when a woman is accustomed to having non-condom sex in a monogamous relationship, entering the single scene may lead to HPV because old habits are hard to break…Either way this post is stupid, I’d apologize but I hate you. Cuddles.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Unsorted|Vagina

2007

09

Jul

I am – Mandy Moore Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Mandy Moore in a Bikini.

The problem with running this website is that I write too fucking much that no one reads, so that I am constantly out there trying to remember stories and things I see to throw up on the site. I’ll be on my way to the grocery store or post office or some other menial bullshit with my eyes set on finding something to either inspire me or remind me of shit I have done when I was younger. Memory is a fucking weird thing and shit comes to me at really random fucking times in waves. I was sitting on the couch the other day thinking of nothing and all of a sudden I had vivid memories of my childhood like I was watching a fucking movie and I haven’t thought of it for years and I could practically taste the fucking dust in my mouth from our shitty over crowded shanty that we lived in. Either way, today I am totally drawing a fucking blank and can’t even remember what happened to me yesterday or what I did or who I saw because I was drinking again.

I do remember that DJ AM is slamming this Mandy Moore slut and I have issues with DJ AM because he goes around telling people from my city how much he hates me. I don’t really mind being hated because it’s become my job to offend people by saying what’s on my mind, but you would think that someone like DJ AM would be used to the criticism and have better things to do than worry about a site with no readers, like maybe slamming this little number and by little I mean 6 ft and fat, the kind of girl you’d pick to be on your co-ed football league because she’s built like a fucking tank.

My new theory on this fucking guy is the he’s some kind of diet guru girls turn to for weightloss advice or he gives them AIDS, it is the GAYER THAN BICYCLE SHORTS disease. He used to be 400 lbs and when Nicole Richie got with him she was a fat little troll and became what she is today, a skinny little troll and I am guessing Mandy Moore is doing all she can to get down because being a fat chick with no tits is embarrassing and every girl wants to be skinny.

Either way, he plays shitty music, he was engaged to a pretty shitty girl but he does have a pretty decent life traveling the world going to bars and drives expensive cars. I don’t see why the fuck would he care about what someone like me thinks or says enough to tell people that he hates me other than the fact that dude’s a little hyper fucking sensitive or working on my marketing for me.

Thanks to DJ AM, who we all know is Gayer than Bicycle shorts, I am one degree of separation from this bitch I am posting about and I feel pretty fucking shitty about that because I could care fucking less but I do think it’s funny.

Posted in:Bikini|Mandy Moore|Unsorted