I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

31

May

I am – A Fucking Winner of the Day

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It turns out that I won Best Blog in the Montreal Mirror Best Of Montreal awards. I don’t really know how I feel about this kind of local recognition, but it is a changing day in my life.

I guess the first thing I’d like to say is that I posted that picture they ran of the kid trying on his mom’s bra as a joke because it made me laugh. It reminded me of when I used to hang with a kid who turned out ‘mo later in life. Dude was always trying on dresses, bras, make-up and shit and I never wanted to take part in the fun. I didn’t post the picture because I am into little kids wearing bras.

The second thing I’d like to say is that being outed to the city you live in as a blog or a blogger is fucking embarrassing. Blogs are for losers and are written by losers and usually those losers aren’t my kind of loser. They are virgins, they are techy, they are lonely and feel like they have something to tell the world and that no one around them is listening. I am just a guy without a job and an addictive personality. Doing this is cheap, it keeps me out of trouble and I don’t usually drink all day because it gives me some sense of purpose. So admitting that I am a blogger is almost humiliating and would much rather be known as a drug dealer or homeless dude on the street….

That said, Montreal is a pretty small city, but the people in Montreal seem to love it. I am sure that not a lot of people voted, I am sure that not a lot of people even know my blog or will even check out the blog, but coming in first for a guy who has always come in last is a pretty funny turn of events and made me laugh a little.

I do think I deserve it. I am pretty sure I put more time into this shit than any normal person would and I still think that my site is better than most, even though I constantly put it down. I assume some of you voted for me and that was pretty cool of you. I know cool is not commonly used to describe you, but we’ll let it slide this time….asshole.

Since my winning Best of Montreal doesn’t deserve a post of it’s own, here are some pics of a tall Adriana Lima at some Dance For Tolerance event that sounds pretty fucking gay to me but I guess dancing for a cause is the whole reason strippers exist. Like that shitty ironic t-shirt says “I support single moms”. By the looks of Lima’s foot tattoo, she’s probably in a Brazilan gang and it’s safe to say not a virgin…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|cleavage|stepCOVERAGE|Tattoo|Unsorted

2007

31

May

I am – Jessica Biel Takes Out the Trash of the Day

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I am not sure if these are taken outside her house or if they are some set of a movie, but since this bitch barely works and is barely famous and has barely had any career other than paparazzi taking pictures of her jogging, I can assume that they were taken outside her house or if anything they were taken on set of a “Borax” commercial. I don’t know what “Borax” is but it’s gotta be something paying Biel to promote it. Everybody’s got to make a living somehow and I am trying to make a living talking about where pictures of Jessica Biel were fucking taken. That is a lot lamer than it sounds and it sounds pretty fucking lame to me.

Either way, I learned that the key to being a success is by telling people how amazing everything you produce is. I was invited to the Gwen Stefani show the other night, because my stepduaghter’s rich friend had a ticket for a chaperone, because as a rich kid, her parents wanted nothing to do with anything that involved her. I didn’t get free tickets because people want me at their event like I was Perez Hilton, but I am fatter than him.

Either way, before Gwen Stefani dropped a song she’d say that that song was her favorite and everyone would fucking scream. If I was ever on stage, I’d be like “I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this smut, but since you bought tickets to see me do this, here it goes” like I was your dancing monkey…

So the life lesson is that if you tell someone that something is amazing, most people will believe you, because most people are idiots who need to be told what’s up, so even if what you do is shit, pretend it’s amazing and your conviction will convince….

Either way, here are those Biel in a Bathrobe pics for your Bathrobe and Slipper Fetishists….and remember, this is one of my favorite posts of all time, now believe it. Asshole and remember there’s a Gwen Stefani performing video that’s going to hit one day soon. Watch out for it. Asshole.

Posted in:Bathrobe|Candids|Garbage|Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2007

31

May

I am – Danielle Lloyd Bikini Pictures of the Day

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I know that I dropped a like to some of these pictures last night, but I figured I should do a post on them because that’s how obvious I am. I like to tip you fuckers off to posts I am going to do the following day just to keep everyone on the same page. Fuck surprises, I can’t compete with the speed of some of these virgin bloggers who have some keen ability to land all the fucking paparazzi pictures first. Sometimes I think they are out there taking the pictures themselves, but realize their acne, overbearing mother and social awkwardness prevents them from leaving the house too often. Either way, they make me look like a shitty blogger, because most of the celebrities I post about I’ve never heard of while these fuckers have their life stories, bra size and current relationship status branded on their brains.

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Either way, here are the pictures of Danielle Lloyd, I am not sure who she is and I was going to go on and on about how bad I am at this blogging gayness but since I am up against a group of people you probably made fun of in high school, giving them a complex and leading them to this as a job, I’m pretty sure I’ll come out on top. I may not have been the virgin loser who chronically masturbated, was scared of girls and who everyone laughed at for dressing up like a Star Wars character for the high school dance because I was the slacker who no one really liked, who dropped out of school at 16 but still got pussy because I started drinking at a young age. No one wanted to be me, but no one picked on me and being too cool for school is way cooler than the school being too cool for you…

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I should write an after-school special, I’ll cast Danielle Lloyd as the teacher who gets knocked up by a 15 year old gangster from her English class who sells weed. Seems like she’s into that whole Blacks on Blonds Business….or what I like to call BBB, at first I thought she was too skinny for that, then realized she’s planning for the future by the looks of her body, her budding cankles and double chin, I can tell you she’ll be a fat mess in a few years…that doesn’t mean stop eating girls….I like fat chicks, I married a fat chick, I was just making conversation. Cuddles.

Now With Some Shorts On….

Posted in:BBB|Bikini|Danielle Lloyd|Miami|Pool|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I like to get drunk and when I get drunk I usually don’t have anyone to talk to. I can’t really drunk dial anyone because I don’t have anyone’s phone number and my wife just doesn’t entertain me when I am drunk so she’s off the list of things to do while drunk. My new favorite thing is drunk IMing and Facebooking.

I suggest that tonight after you drink your lonely self into a happy place, message your highschool sweetheart telling her you still sleep with a picture of her everynight and that life hasn’t been the same without her the last 20 years. Or try find people who work at local stores you go to and ask them what they are wearing and what they think about when masturbating, or maybe even start up on a co-worker by telling her how hot you think she is and how you think about her when you’re masturbating.

The good thing about the internet is that it is faceless, the bad thing is when you run into these people again, but it’s all worth the fun.

In the meantime, click on my links.


Lohan and Her Slut of a Mother in 1986
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Calum Best – Lohan’s Boytoy for a Weekend – Doing Lines Off of Hookers
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Some Chick Calls Her Dad Before Stripping on Girls Gone Wild
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Romantic Day At the Fountain
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Beyonce May Have a Penis
GO

Crazy Fucking Mother Who Takes Her Girl To Get the Lohan Special at the Tanning Salon Video – INSANE
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Some Girl’s Photobucket Pierced Nipples
GO

Firecracker Wake Up Prank
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Another Bai Ling Nipple Slip in Cannes Last Week
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Guy Makes His girlfriend Dress Up Like a Stormtrooper…Not Sure How He Got a Girlfriend….
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Owner of Quiznos Takes Out a Homeless Guy
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Elisha Cuthbert is a Dump on Her Way To Paris’
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Blonde Girl Beats Up 2 Goth Chicks
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Disgusting Ball Sack Sex Video – NSFW
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Paulina Rubio Cameltoe Performs
GO

Madonna Lookin’ Old on the Set of Some Movie She Is Directing
GO

Imogen Thomas Topless for the First Time, She’s From Big Brother in Europe…
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Photobucket Nipples
GO

Some Chicks Doing Some Webcam Show Ass Shake Bullshit…
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Sexy Bull Riding Girls
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What the fuck is Up With Paula Abdul…What Meds is She On???
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Petra Nemcova Short Dress Action
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Britney Loses Top While Performing….Shitty Video Worth Watching….
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This Umbilical Reconnection System is Fucking Weird But I Laughed. Unfortunately…
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Sex Doll Factory Pictures That Will Turn You On – Weirdo
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Holly Valance is Some Chick Posing in Fishnets for You
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Funny Girls in Bikini Race Video
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Britney Spears Was Drunk and Puking in Her Hotel This Weekend
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Dancehall Dancers Doing Their Dancehall Ass Shaking Dances at Some Dancehall Dance Convention
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Some Chick Punches Some Idiot in the Face Because He Asks Her To
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Celine Dion Has a Transgendered Son
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Some Chick Masturbating Video – NSFW
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Lohan in Rehab Pictures, Because Rehab is Where You Make Friends With Bigger and Better Addicts…
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Lohan tried to Kill Herself – At Least that’s the Rumor. I bet she was just on her period.
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Brad Pitt in Montreal. I Live in Montreal. I am Not Brad Pitt
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Blame the Gays for Girls Obsessing About Being Skinny….Probably True Cuz All The Guys I know Fuck Fat Chicks….
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Some Webcam Chick Dancing
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Summer is here, Girls are Ready and You Have No Game and Can’t Get Them. Rumor Has It That This Product Will Help…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Nicole Richie Hiding Her Rat Face from the Camera of the Day

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These are pictures from Paris’ party a couple of days ago that were taken after Nicole had a minor car accident as she was leaving. Who the fuck cares.

What I do care about is how considerate she is being in this time of distress. Normally, this group of girls are so fucking self-absorbed that if they aren’t talking about how great they are, ripping into each other, doing as many drugs as possible to feed their insecure broken selves, or having meaningless relationships and one night stands with guys they find hot because lacking substance and being superficial is all that matters in their eating disorder self-destructive lives. But I guess with Paris going to jail they are all a little thrown off because she was the leader of the pack, and now in an attempt to make the world a better place and in efforts to aid mankind, Nicole Richie has decided to hide her little rat face from all of us and I just wanted to say Thanks….

Normally, I would have been offended by her giving me the finger, but knowing that God has been as cruel as he has been to her, I figure I’d let it slide. It’s like the time a dude with Downs Syndrome punched me in the face in highschool. He had a crush on my girlfriend and saw me grabbing her tits in the park. Either way, he fucking hit me hard because people with retardations seem to be fucking strong, like their body made up for their brain was lacking. Anyway, when he hit me I apologized and walked away instead of getting mad, because sometimes, having sympathy for those less fortunate is a better way to live….

Posted in:Accident|Hiding|Nicole Richie|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Britney Spears Thong in a See Through Dress of the Day

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I posted pictures of Britney on a boat in a bikini last week and was pissed off that I couldn’t see the ass view of her string bikini because I know that shit is riding up places I’d want to explore, not because I think Britney is hot and not because I want her money, but because I have no standards and even with her lack of hygiene, weight gain and rashes, she’s still probably cleaner than any girl who has had slept with me for money.

Anyway, I said I wanted the ass view and here are the closest thing I could find, They are probably from last week, but since Britney isn’t into changing her underwear or washing it’s possible that these are from today.

Either way, who really cares these pictures and this post collectively suck…I have no idea why I am posting it but I am.

Posted in:Britney Spears|See Through|Thong|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Sonya Kraus Launches Her Bikini Collection With Her Tits and Gay Men of the Day

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I don’t know who Sonya Kraus is but I am going to assume that she is some kind of washed up German Bikini Model, because Kraus sounds German and because usually people launch bikini lines when they have something to do with bikinis.

Either way, there is a valuable lesson you can all learn from these pictures. If you are act like a fruity gay black man and dance around and act all bubbly in front of hot chicks, they will probably want to fag hag you. Now if you never tell them you’re straight and keep shit going they are going to bring you out to parties, they are going to change in front of you and tell you all their dirty little sex secrets. The trick is to be as flamboyant as possible and whenever she brings up you being a poofter, just change the subject and tell her how pretty her hair is. I am telling you that one night when bitch gets drunk she’s going to let you fuck her, you just have to pretend you don’t know what you are doing and that you’re uncomfortable with the whole thing for the first 5 minutes before going pornstar on her ass. The next step is telling her that she turned you onto women and going through every one of her friends you were introduced to because let’s face it, fags get more pussy than you. I pitched this idea to a film production company once, they told me it sucked but you’ll see a derivative of it hit in the next 2 years, I’m convinced, that’s just how my ideas seem to work out for me.

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I guess my theory was wrong, she’s a TV personality who has nothing to do with bikinis other than wearing them to the pool….thanks wikipedia.

Costume Change…

Posted in:Bikini|cleavage|Sonya Kraus|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Rihanna Wearing a Onesy of the Day

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If you’re wondering why I know that this short/shirt is called a onesy, it’s because I have a infantilism fetish and love when my momma dresses me all up in my little onesy and a diaper and feeds little baby a bottle.

Either way, shit’s making a comeback and I was in American Apparel yesterday getting my stepdaughter a leotard to model for me because it’s still kinda a fetish of mine but it’s slowly losing it’s appeal because everyone in Montreal wearing fucking leodards now, I feel like I am at a dance recital ever ytime I leave my fucking house, and if you were to ask anyone with a foot fetish what they would do if every girl started walking around barefoot, he’d probably go fucking insane. For some reason, I just lose interest and move onto the next thing. I haven’t decided if onesy’s are the next thing but when I was at the store some girl in her mid 20s was rockin’ something similar. The only difference was that shit was too small and was riding up her box and showing off her ass cheeks and when she caught me staring, I just smiled back and said “that’d look way hotter with a diaper on underneath”….

Either way, here is Rihanna, not wearing a diaper under her onesy, but compensating with some fuck me boots and her own CD….and the only thing hotter than a girl who listens to her own music is fucking a girl who listens to own music. True Story.

Posted in:Legs|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Ana Beatriz Barros Celebrating Her Birthday with Alessandra Ambrosio of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Victoria’s Secret Models, Ana Beatriz Barron and Alessandra Ambrosio at that stupid restaurant every fucking celebrity goes to called Mr Chow. They are wearing more clothes than you’re used to and I guess that goes against what you are used to on this site. I like to keep you on your toes. I also like to look at these people who little girls aspire to be in their natural state, without the filters and photoshop touch ups and lighting and professional photographers because these paparazzi are just scummy immigrants with a camera .

I am not going to say these bitches are busted because it’s pretty obvious that they aren’t, but I will say that I would never make a good model scout. They don’t look any better than the girls I see out when I go out, I probably wouldn’t even notice them in a club, but the second these whores take off their clothes and rock a catalog every 14 year old dude and married man with no internet or porn in the house can jerk off to you know they got it in them….what they will never have in them though is you, because no one likes you, even the 400 pound Wal Mart cashier wants nothing to do with you.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Ana Beatriz Barros|Drunk|Legs|Partying|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was accused of being a racist again tonight and I wasn’t even making a racial slur, it was just a case of people being over sensitive and jumping to conclusions or creating issues where there were no issues to being with. I was walking down the street and some drunk chick was moonwalking down the side walk like she was Michael Jackson….Some dude in a suit was running after her and she was obviously trying to play cute and hard to get. I said out loud that I didn’t get why dude would stand for that cute hard to get shit, but the looks of the girl, I’d rather fuck the potted plant next to them. They heard me and thought I was hating on her cuz she was black, reality is, I woulda said it if she was Mexican too. I love all girls, I just don’t like when they act a fool….

Here are my links:

Bijou Philips Shaking Her Ass and Dancing in Lingerie in this Photoshoot Video
GO

Salma Hayek is About to Explode
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Beth Ditto Naked Scares Me Cuz She’s a Lookin’ Good Sweetheaet
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Miss Universe Bikini Pics
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Some Model Named Victoria Von Helkine Photo Shoot Video
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Some Old Chloe Sevigny Bikini Pics
GO

Ashley Judd Wet
GO

Lookin’ Good Photobucket
GO

Vote for this Girl for MTV Real World because she said if she won, she’ll wear ANYTHING I want her to on TV and I think that is worth voting for….
GO

This is Naked Breakfast and I’ve Been there and It Completely Changed My Breakfast Needs…Fuck Good Food, Just Give Me Naked Waitresses….
GO

Crazy Woman Drives Through an Office
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Sophie Anderton Tit Slip
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Kendra Wilkison Talks About Being Naked
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Homeless Sex Pictures Are Pretty Amazing…
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Eve Trying to Be Sexy in her Tambourine Video
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Photobucket Pics You Won’t Admit You Like
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One Bum Drop Kicks Another Bum and Steals His Bike
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THis is Something for you Shoulder Fetishists…
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Sheryl Crow’s Creepy Exercise
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Webcam Girl Compilation
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Book of Rude Page 3 Girls
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Topless Miss Universe Chick
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Photobucket Nipple
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This is My Favorite Music Right Now
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Vanessa Anne Hugdens Bikini Pictures
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Hot Teeth
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Terry Richardson Nike Campaign – I Guess It’s To Go Up Against American Apparel
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Angelina Jolie Lookin’ Good in Yellow
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Girl Sends her Boyfriend Pics on their 1 Year Anniversary….
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Cartoon’s You’d Like To Fuck
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Lohan’s Fake Myspace
GO

Miss USA Falls at the Miss Universe Pageant
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Miss Wet T-Shirt Video Compilation
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Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel Catfight
GO

Some Clever Ads
GO clever_ads_01/images

Lohan Death Pool
GO

Buy Parts of Lohan’s Crashed Car
GO

December 2004 – i called lohan a firecrotch – way before Brandon Davies cuz I am a trendsetter for fat losers…You already knew that…
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Nicolette Sheridan Has Hard Nipples
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Petra Nemcova Drunk
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Block Party Rioters Throwing Glass Bottles At People
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Hot Hotel Room Pictures of Some Chick
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Train Collision Video
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Crazy Concept for a Reality Show Cuz It’s About Organ Donors….
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Nicole Richie’s Party Invite For Skinny Bitches
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UK Students Stage a Robbery of their Own Home in Front of the Cops
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Britney Spears is Wet
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Britney Spears Letter to her Fans
GO

Lilly Allen was Kicked Out of School for Giving Blowjobs
GO

Some Living Room Housewife Pole Dance
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Chick Doing Catwalk…
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Alyson Hannigan Candids to Make You Vomit…
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Danielle Llloyd is in a Pink Bikini
GO

Funny Waite’s Dick Prank
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Nicky Hilton Bikini Ass
GO

Svetlana Metkina Nip Slip
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Somethings Help You Fuck…This is One of those Things
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted