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Lindsay Lohan in Burkini with a Hermaphrodite of the Day

Britney Spears Keeps Dancing of the Day

Salma Hayek’s Strong Jaw in a Bikini of the Day

Sydney Sweeney Does Make-Up on the Lake of the Day

RFK Jr’s Wife in a Slutty Dress of the Day

2007

Jun

I am – Big Breasted Whores of the Day

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I am not sure how legal it is to videotape girls walking by you then putting it on the internet but I really have no choice with this one. We were watching these girls at a bar get chatted up by a lot of married “business men” who were probably in town looking for a “good time”. We got stuck in the elevator with them at the end of the night where they made some funny sex jokes and my friend thought they had a great personality, the kind of chick you’d want to marry. I was too busy looking at their insane bodies. They got off on the 7th floor with a group of dudes who were also in the elevator and who probably didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, but when a girl like this follows you back to your hotel room, you can’t be sending them home, if you know what I mean.

For the record I am not implying that they are anything but girls out to have a good time and if I was capable of it, they are the kind of girls I’d want to have a good time with…but when I was on the market, I usually got stuck with the lower grade meat you find on the street shaking and ratty and lookin’ for a dollar

The whole time I was watching them stand there and rub their tits and make rude jokes I thought I was day dreaming….it had to be a dream, but I was drunk and had this video to remind me they actually existed. Montreal is known for the hot girls, you should come visit. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepTV|Tits|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Pamela Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

1 Comment »

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Pam Anderson is Kissing some Magician named Hans Klok at his magic show. Magic shows are pretty fucking lame, but I can only assume virgins are into this shit, like they are into wrestling and computer games and that’s part of the reason I am posting them. See, I totally work for you.

I guess the only really magic at this event is that this hag can still pull off a bathing suit in public. But lots of money in plastic surgery and maintenance isn’t really all that magical…I do know that nothing says party like Pam Anderson in a one piece bathing suit, showing off her old haggard body that is probably hotter than any body you’ve ever seen at your local strip club, I know that you still jerk off to this whore, because that’s what a legacy does. No matter how old she gets we will always remember what she was and reality is, she still has something working for her, even if she’s plastic.

Speaking of plastic, I was leaving a strip club a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine who had been there about 2 hours before I showed up. He spent most of his welfare check on this one bitch in the booth and kept going on about how horny she made him. She had huge fake tits and looked like she dreamt of being Pam Anderson. When we walked by a dollar peep show that pretty much plays clips of porn for a dollar dude walked in. He told me to wait outside. About 3 minutes later he walked out and had just rubbed one out. He was sold on how amazing these things were and I thought the whole thing was fucking hysterical. I have never done the whole peepshow thing and probably never will. I watch too much porn on the computer and shit does nothing for me, so paying a dollar to sit in a booth where dirty fucking men have busted nut is not my idea of a good fucking time. I do think that it is a good option for someone like you though, seeing as you never get laid and masturbation has become boring. It’s kind like the middle ground between doing it on public transit to switch things up but still being private enough for you to not get arrested.

2007

Jun

I am – Some Lohan Personal Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Here are some pictures of Lohan showing us all how she is a broken down teenager with major fucking issues. I am talking goth chick who cuts herself, or crazed drug induced psychosis, or just some freaky fucking fetish shit that I don’t fucking understand, but you probably do because you’re a fucking creep….

Speaking of creep, I was on the roof of some bar patio this weekend smoking a cigar next to some Persian chick. This middle aged man started chatting her up and thought that I was trying to move in on his game. I wasn’t really interested because I don’t pick up chicks. I was kickin’ back watching their TV and dude was telling her how I was trying to look down her shirt. I let his bullshit slide the first few times then I took it personally. Reality is, when you are constantly called a fucking creep day in and day out for begging girls on the net to get naked, eventually you either start believing it or become pretty defensive and angry when people say it….

I decided to tell him that he’s got shitty game and that there’s no way that Persian girl will ever let him ride her oil well. That was my Iranian reference of the day. I don’t remember how heated shit got with him, because I lost interest and zoned out to finish smoking my cigar, but I am pretty convinced that the girl was on my side in the end and just wanted him to fuck off because he was the creep….

The point of my story is to never judge a book by its cover. Sure I look like a sleazy fucker and I say sleazy fucking things and I like looking at girls naked and I like checking out their tits and trying to see them naked…okay, maybe I am a creep and you should keep me away from your girlfriends, but I think it should be because they will fall in love with me and not because I will touch them inappropriately, even if I want to.

Lohan on the otherhand is a well oiled machine. Everything she does is strategic and has a team of consultants telling her how to act. I can only assume that these pics of Lohan are staged and bitch isn’t as creepy or intense or morbid as these pictures make her out to be, she’s just full of fucking shit and trying to be hardcore in some cocaine rage. I am convinced that she just sits at home, self medicates, is insane and counts her money while she’s not letting male models cum inside her….the knives are just props to make us all believe her bullshit story…otherwise shit would have never hit the internet. Believing the bullshit is just feeding into the fucking hype that is a little freckled slut for Long Island.

Posted in:Candids|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Brooke Burke Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

Brooke Burke just had a kid recently and she looks pretty fucking tight. When the girls I know get knocked up they usually end up at an abortion clinic because pregnancy is bad for business in the whore ring, even though some people dig it. The other women I know who have kids are usually at that point in their life where they don’t need to seduce anymore. They are settled down and ready to raise a family and don’t give a fuck what they look like anymore. It just means the bad habits they made while eating whatever the fuck they wanted while pregnant stick and a life of getting fatter and fatter is to follow, always blaming the miracle they created for their demise without actually admitting that part of them resents their little babies…

Brooke Burke is pretty much the opposite of that. She looks fucking awesome, and feel like her whole baby thing was a publicity stunt and a pillow under her shirt because this body isn’t fucking normal after having a kid. But if I am wrong and that she did actually drop life into this world via her hot box, it just means that she’s no virgin and that she takes loads in her….and with a body like this…that’s a pretty nice thought….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Burke|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Gay Porn Moment of the Day

3 Comments »

I hate this Sarah Silverman bitch. She looks like shit and is about as funny as the rash on my balls that won’t go away. I know to other people a rash on my balls that won’t go away could cause a good fucking laugh, but the bleeding, burning and infection I have to deal with daily makes it not very funny at all. Watching her make lame shit and piss jokes that she thinks are fucking hysterical and that were kinda pushing the limit and were better than anything that fat gay dude from Hollywood Squares with the red plastic glasses could do it still makes me question my sexuality, because if there are women like that in the world I don’t know if I can look at vagina the same way ever again. Since I am impotent, I guess the fact that I don’t get it up kinda makes me asexual and reality is that there are so many amazing girls in the world that I wouldn’t give up on a whole race because of one bad apple, so in my mind I’ll just pretend this slut has a dick, which isn’t too much of a stretch.

On the same note, Jessica Biel is more ripped than Paris Hilton’s vagina after the night she spent with Rick Solomon in the hotel room that she’ll never live down. That shit will follow her for life like her herpes but this post is about Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman, two dudes in women’s clothing, trying to make you laugh but almost making out on MTV and how there is nothing hot about that unless you’re a motherfucker who likes tranny porn. Obviously there are a lot of tranny porn lovers out there because porn companies make this shit and I can only assume that the 15 of you fuckers who read this site are probably in that market because I attract the fucking winners.

Either way, this is your Gay Porn Moment of the day because if these bitches don’t have dicks, I will be fucking surprised. Don’t let their tits deceive you. Remember that they have ruined a hot fantasy of girl on girl that may never have the same appeal it once had….

2007

Jun

I am – Rihanna Hiding Her Forehead of the Day

3 Comments »

I think it’s funny that bloggers call big foreheads fiveheads because five is bigger than four, get it. It’s one of those witty play on words that makes them successful and me a waste of fucking space on the internet. I do like how all the abuse Rihanna’s been getting the last little while about lookin’ like an alien has made her make changes to her hairstyle, like making bangs that hide the fucking thing. I think she’s pretty hot regardless of her big forehead because I have no standards and I am too busy staring at her tits. I also realize that I have banged girls with a lot worse than a big forehead. I am talking girls who are missing limbs, who were drugged up, who had serious disabilities, who were fat, who stank like shit, who had what looked like an empty scrotum for vagina lips, who may have been men years earlier and a little extra forehead would have been a lot fucking easier to stomach. But since I was a pervert and a trooper, I pulled through. Either way, the lesson learned is that a little touch up paint may not fix a broken car, but a broken car is better than a scooter, because scooters are fucking gay. What I mean is that the more you dis someone, the more likely they are in making changes to suit your needs….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Sienna Miller’s Sex Video of the Day

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I posted the Sienna Miller Sex Scenes from Factory Girl a long time ago. The Weinstein Company emailed me threatening a lawsuit if I didn’t take them down. I don’t have any money to fight the Weinstein company and even if I did no one would pay attention to the site because I was getting sued by them, so I took them down. I am testing my luck with Paris Hilton exposed shit, but at least that will get me some TV time.

Anyway, there’s all this buzz that the sex scene was real and who really gives a fuck. Sex scenes in movies have been real for the last 40 years. I remember reading Jack Nicholson’s sex scenes were always real. But since all you care I am posting the raipdshare link to this video HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Thong Bikini Pictures of the Day

69 Comments »

For some reason this girl loves this thong bikini, she’s been seeing wearing it at least 4 times that I know of and I am pretty bad at keeping on top of this shit, so it’s probably been a lot more. I know she isn’t known for being hygienic or into changing or clean clothes but you’d think that someone with her kind of money could afford to buy herself 10 different thong bikinis. Unless she sleeps in the fucking thing, it’s takes the same amount of effort to put on a new bikini as it does to put on a dirty crusted up one. At leas then when she’d hit the beach and shows everyone what K-Fed did to her, we’d at least know that the pics are new or old….

I remember when I used to hang with a girl who was a lot like Britney. She wasn’t a popstar and didn’t live the lavish life of celebrity, but she did never wash during the summer. She would just go swimming and think that that counted.

I admit that I am not the best at showering or changing clothes. Right now I have no hot water in my shit hole apartment, but at least I recognize that I am not clean. I don’t jump in public pool and spray on cheap cologne and pretend that I am clean….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Britney Spears|Thong|Unsorted

2007

Jun

The stepHOTLINE of the Day

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The concept of the hotline is simple. Call me at any of these numbers and leave me a message. Tip me off on celebrity gossip or sitings, tell me a story, let me hear you and your girl having sex, masturbate on the line for me, tell me your problems, leave me a joke, do anything you want, just call in and I will listen. It’s the best way to reach me.

I will be posting the best ones up on the net. Let your voice be heard.

Local Numbers that will reach the hotline…

L.A.
1 (213) 784-1265

NYC
1 (212) 863-9676

Dallas
1 (214) 296-2141

Miami
1 (786) 507-5603

Chicago
1 (312) 267-0604

Toronto
1 (416) 848-1552

Vancouver
1 (604) 628-9879

Montreal
1 (514) 448-0315

Or click on the Egg’s “Call Me” button if you use Internet Explorer…Which I don’t so I have no idea whether it works.

Cuddles.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

I took some pill yesterday and it raped my insides. I haven’t been able to walk in about 18 hours because the pill raped my insides. I haven’t been able to eat because when I do I remember that my insides are raped. I know you probably don’t care to here this but I passed out early and slept all afternoon and night because my insides were raped. I didn’t get a chance to post my links yesterday because my raped insides forced me to sleep off the ass burn….

I didn’t get a toaster oven or any kind of prize from winning the Best of Montreal. Traffic didn’t go up and hot chicks didn’t send me pics of their tits. I did get asked to be on local radio, we’ll see if I’m up to it. I never really did any media before and reality is that the whole thing is pretty funny considering the radio would have never approached me to be on their show a week ago….The site is still a struggle and trying to knock down doors of the mainstream without changing my content so all recognition is good.

I realized that you fuckers who voted also voted for Lara Roxx the pornstar with AIDS as most desirable women – she made the list. You also voted the best pick up spot as St Laurent and Ste Catherine and that made the list too. Either this site is bigger than I think, or the local paper has no readers….

Either way, here are my links…

Alison Sweeney’s Got a Nip Slip
GO

Kirk Cameron Pays 20 Dollars to
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Jessica Simpson Suckin on a Spoon
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Watch The Booble Porn Topless News
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Lohan Lame Jill Stuart Ad
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Paulina Rubio Shows Us Her Pink Panties…
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A Video Called Girls Are Stupid…
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Rad Girls Play Pubic Hair Roulette and Loser Eats Pubic Hair Burrito
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Girls Making Out Topless Negotiations
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Maria Sharapova Upskirt
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Eva Longoria Dancing In Some Hot Outfit
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Danny Bonaduce Stripping Video
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Star Magazine Doctors Jennifer Aniston But Not the Way I’d Doctor Her…I’d Photoshop a Penis on Her Cuz It Would be Funny
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Some News of Fat Celebs and How Much They’ve Gained
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Retarded Brazilian TV Show Ass
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Lame Synchronized Swimming in the Park Video Worth Watching…
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Avril Giving the FInger To Us..That Whore
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Alyssa Milano is Not Lookin’ So Hairy in These Slutty Pics…
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Lesbian Cock Ronson Has Been Selling Lohan Out to the Paparazzi
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Ricky Powell on the Street for Video Movie Awards
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Weird Axe Beach Showercam Website.
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The Extended Kelly Brook Bikini Calendar Set of Pictures
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Here’s Some Celebrity Gossip of the Week You Won’t Care About including Nicole Riche and Jail, Some Gay Guy and Harry Potter
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Some Argentina Slut Named Jessica Cirio Stripping on the Pole Amazing Ass…
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Pro Wrestler Punches the Camera Man in the Face
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Scary Goth Chick Cam Show
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Rumer Willis is a Lesbian
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Hot Norwegian Celebrity Falls on Her Face While Skating
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Lohan is Really Committed to Rehab and Leaves to go to the Gym
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Samantha Ronson Gives Her Lesbian Cock to Nicole Richie
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Asian Nipple on this Cobrasnake Imposter Site Out of Montreal
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Some Dude Sent This Site Pics of His Wife and His Dick
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Some Miss Universe Named Cecilia Bolocco Topless in Miami
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Some Stripper Who Was Photographed WIth Yankees A-Rod Is Naked On the Internet
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Amy Smart in Some Photoshoot
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Lookin’ Real Good Sweetheart
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Photobucket Girl’s Vagina and Boyfriend Going Down On Her
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RadarONLINE Asked Me For My Favorite Links of the Week This is What I Sent Them
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Some Song Called “Dad’s Going To Kill Me”
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Lara Croft is 10 and Here are Some of the Best Lara Croft’s Naked..I thought Angelina Jolie was the Only Lara Croft….
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AFL Dance Teams
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Redo Boobjob of the Month
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Creepy Video Following Some Girl in a Short Skirt
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UK Dogging Video of the Day
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Comatose Patient Sex For You Freakshows Who Get Off To Weird Stuff
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Do you want sex? Help yourself out…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted