I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

01

Jun

I am – Gemma Ward is a Model of the Day

gemma-ward_society_005.jpg

I was watching the View earlier today while trying to sober up and they were talking about the HPV vaccine and how little girls should get it at the age of 9 to prevent all chances of landing warts and cervical cancer. They said that 30% of girls are banging by the age of 13 and I was pretty fucking shocked to hear that. When I was 13 I don’t even think I knew what jerking of was. I was too busy playing with barbies and learning how to speak english while avoiding crazy rednecks throwing horse manure at me in the seventh grade. They were cowboys and into that shit and not so into mexican immigrants…

That said, this is a model named Gemma Ward and she’s pretty much a big deal at least I am told she is….By the looks of the picture of her kissing that dude, it’s safe to say that I hope she got her HPV vaccine….sleeping your way to the top can kill you.


Bonus – Petra Nemcova at the Same Event

Posted in:Gemma Ward|Model|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Courtney Cox’s Bra of the Day

untitled-1.jpg

Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox leaving a restaurant in a sheer top with her bra exposes. I am pretty much naked all day because getting dress requires too much effort and I was raised by some pretty trashy people and even I put on some fucking clothes when I eat my lunch on my shitty salvation army couch. I admit part of the reason I put on clothes is because of a serious fear of landing scabies from the previous owners and having a barrier between me at the couch is pretty much necessary, but I still manage to cover up when I eat…

That said, I am all for girls wearing sheer shirts with bras exposed in public and encourage as many girls as I can to rock this look. Shit’s like flipping through a Sears catalog without killing all the trees, I guess that makes Courtney Cox a little more environmentally conscious than me.

Posted in:Bra|Courtney Cox|See Through|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Courtney Cox's Bra of the Day

untitled-1.jpg

Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox leaving a restaurant in a sheer top with her bra exposes. I am pretty much naked all day because getting dress requires too much effort and I was raised by some pretty trashy people and even I put on some fucking clothes when I eat my lunch on my shitty salvation army couch. I admit part of the reason I put on clothes is because of a serious fear of landing scabies from the previous owners and having a barrier between me at the couch is pretty much necessary, but I still manage to cover up when I eat…

That said, I am all for girls wearing sheer shirts with bras exposed in public and encourage as many girls as I can to rock this look. Shit’s like flipping through a Sears catalog without killing all the trees, I guess that makes Courtney Cox a little more environmentally conscious than me.

Posted in:Bra|Courtney Cox|See Through|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie Still Has Nipples of the Day

nicole_richie_nipples6.jpg

I hate Nicole Richie. Mainly because she’s a rude little whore who loves ripping into people but when people turn on her she becomes this hypersensitive twat. I am basing my Nicole Richie opinion on the one text messages she sent me where she called me a looser…reality is no matter how loose I am…I am sure I am not quite as loose as her anorexic dancing hips. Slut.

I heard that she was pregnant because she had a little pot belly action in some pics but I don’t think anorexic addicts can get pregnant, they actually lose their periods. I think she just hadn’t taken a shit that week, or maybe bitch went and got her monthly abortion, it is the best for of birth control in a place no one where condoms….

Point of the post is that she’s got some oversized glasses and some erect nipples to distract you from her rat face, more proof that the loss of 2 of her friends to the law has her made her a little more considerate to humanity. I wrote about this already. I never said I wasn’t repetitive.

Posted in:Candids|Legs|Nicole Richie|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Katie Downes and Emily Clark Mud Wrestle in Xena Costumes of the Day

katie_downes_emily_clark9.jpg

I know all you virgin fucks are into this sci-fi fantasy shit that I never liked. I was never drawn to Xena the Warrior princess, action figures, dragons or space because she looked like a man and I was into girls with Vaginas who were human and didn’t have magic powers. Not to mention all those shows are low budget and shit quality and I find them offensive. I did watch the Simpson’s episode with the Collector and Lucy Lawless was a guest and they made fun of guys like you and your creepy sexual obsessions of warrior princesses.

I have no fucking idea what this event is but these 2 girls who I have never heard of are mud wrestling. One is named Katie Downs and the other is named Emily Clark. I am pretty hungover and slow moving – so this is all you’re getting out of me until the next post.

Posted in:Emily Clark|Katie Downes|Mud Wrestling|Unsorted|Xena

2007

01

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

picture-27.jpg

I am drunk. I had planned on doing a couple more posts and hunting down the best links for you but instead my friend at the park saw the number 1 rank and decided to spend his last 20 dollars on 40s of beer and cigars. I couldn’t say no, I live for that shit. Nothing exciting happened while drunk we went hunting for Brad Pitt cuz I was tipped off that he was in my hood turns out he left Montreal yesterday…

Either way, here are my amazing links…


Take the FHM Sex Survey Even Though You’re A Virgin
GO

Jenna Jameson Lookin’ A Little Tranny
GO

The Producers of Big Brother Australia Won’t Tell This Naked Contestant That Her Dad Died Earlier this Month. That is Fucked…Her Tits..Not So Much…
GO

GEICO Cavemen Fashion Show…Weird….
GO

Jodie Foster Shows Off Her Pantyhose Covered Ass
GO

Some Amateur Webcam Video
GO
Some Amateur Girl Masturbating on Cam
GO

Ashley Judd’s Nipples, I Posted This Yesterday But Didn’t Notice all This Nip
GO

Christina Aguilera Takes Monkey To Dinner
GO

Marilyn Manson Talks About How He Didn’t Stuff Lohan Like He Was a Taxidermist
GO

Lohan is Addicted to Oxy
GO

Sick Pedophile Gets Tased for Trying to Bang a 13 Year Old..Sick Fuck…
GO

Bar Rafaeli in Lingerie -She’s Leonardo’s Ex
GO

The Story Behind Uncle Ben
GO

Crazy Condom Man Just Click on the Products and Watch his Wild Intros….
GO

Next Door Nikki in Her Bedroom Video
GO

Some Drunk Girl Showing Her Tits
GO

Chick Named Cristal Houston In Playboy
GO

Tea Leoni in a Bikini
GO

Kylie Minogue Upskirt
GO

Bridesmaid Takes Out a Flower Girl
GO

If you are bored, I was told these cam chicks give free shows, I used to go to this site from room to room being an asshole and it was always funny….
GO

Fetus Coin Purse
GO

Nicole Richie Gets Her Nails Done For You Foot Fetishists
GO

Kerri Russel in Interview Magazine
GO

Panic at the Disco Singer Gets Hit With a Bottle
GO

Air Blowjob and Handjob
GO

Hlary Duff’s New Music Video
GO

Some Chick Named Paula Garces Who You’ve Never Heard of Posing
GO

Paula Abdul Loses it in this Conference Call
GO

Billy Joel’s 25 Year Old Wife is Leaving Him…Big Surprise
GO

Lohan Drinking and Driving PSA from a While Ago – Funny
GO

The MTV Movie Awards Swag Bag
GO

Convenient Sex Toy
GO

Tammie Faye Baker has Stopped Her Cancer Treatment. The End is Near and That is Sad
GO

Victoria Beckham Hates Bloggers – I am Offended
GO

Emily Scott Nude in FHM
GO

Olivia Newton John Must Have Gone Under The Knife Cuz She Looks Younger than Her Anorexic Daughter
GO

Kimmy Stewart and Kelly Osborne Filming Some Reality TV Show Together it’s Got Something to Do With Daddy’s Money Not Being Able to Make You Pretty
GO

Is Nicole Richie Pregnant. We’ve Already Gone Through This…Anorexic Girls Never Get Their Periods…
GO

Hey Virgin. I Think You’re Ready. Here’s the Magic Sauce To Seduce Chicks
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

31

May

I am – A Fucking Winner of the Day

picture-28.jpg
blog.jpg

It turns out that I won Best Blog in the Montreal Mirror Best Of Montreal awards. I don’t really know how I feel about this kind of local recognition, but it is a changing day in my life.

I guess the first thing I’d like to say is that I posted that picture they ran of the kid trying on his mom’s bra as a joke because it made me laugh. It reminded me of when I used to hang with a kid who turned out ‘mo later in life. Dude was always trying on dresses, bras, make-up and shit and I never wanted to take part in the fun. I didn’t post the picture because I am into little kids wearing bras.

The second thing I’d like to say is that being outed to the city you live in as a blog or a blogger is fucking embarrassing. Blogs are for losers and are written by losers and usually those losers aren’t my kind of loser. They are virgins, they are techy, they are lonely and feel like they have something to tell the world and that no one around them is listening. I am just a guy without a job and an addictive personality. Doing this is cheap, it keeps me out of trouble and I don’t usually drink all day because it gives me some sense of purpose. So admitting that I am a blogger is almost humiliating and would much rather be known as a drug dealer or homeless dude on the street….

That said, Montreal is a pretty small city, but the people in Montreal seem to love it. I am sure that not a lot of people voted, I am sure that not a lot of people even know my blog or will even check out the blog, but coming in first for a guy who has always come in last is a pretty funny turn of events and made me laugh a little.

I do think I deserve it. I am pretty sure I put more time into this shit than any normal person would and I still think that my site is better than most, even though I constantly put it down. I assume some of you voted for me and that was pretty cool of you. I know cool is not commonly used to describe you, but we’ll let it slide this time….asshole.

Since my winning Best of Montreal doesn’t deserve a post of it’s own, here are some pics of a tall Adriana Lima at some Dance For Tolerance event that sounds pretty fucking gay to me but I guess dancing for a cause is the whole reason strippers exist. Like that shitty ironic t-shirt says “I support single moms”. By the looks of Lima’s foot tattoo, she’s probably in a Brazilan gang and it’s safe to say not a virgin…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|cleavage|stepCOVERAGE|Tattoo|Unsorted

2007

31

May

I am – Jessica Biel Takes Out the Trash of the Day

jessica_biel_pink_robe8.jpg

I am not sure if these are taken outside her house or if they are some set of a movie, but since this bitch barely works and is barely famous and has barely had any career other than paparazzi taking pictures of her jogging, I can assume that they were taken outside her house or if anything they were taken on set of a “Borax” commercial. I don’t know what “Borax” is but it’s gotta be something paying Biel to promote it. Everybody’s got to make a living somehow and I am trying to make a living talking about where pictures of Jessica Biel were fucking taken. That is a lot lamer than it sounds and it sounds pretty fucking lame to me.

Either way, I learned that the key to being a success is by telling people how amazing everything you produce is. I was invited to the Gwen Stefani show the other night, because my stepduaghter’s rich friend had a ticket for a chaperone, because as a rich kid, her parents wanted nothing to do with anything that involved her. I didn’t get free tickets because people want me at their event like I was Perez Hilton, but I am fatter than him.

Either way, before Gwen Stefani dropped a song she’d say that that song was her favorite and everyone would fucking scream. If I was ever on stage, I’d be like “I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this smut, but since you bought tickets to see me do this, here it goes” like I was your dancing monkey…

So the life lesson is that if you tell someone that something is amazing, most people will believe you, because most people are idiots who need to be told what’s up, so even if what you do is shit, pretend it’s amazing and your conviction will convince….

Either way, here are those Biel in a Bathrobe pics for your Bathrobe and Slipper Fetishists….and remember, this is one of my favorite posts of all time, now believe it. Asshole and remember there’s a Gwen Stefani performing video that’s going to hit one day soon. Watch out for it. Asshole.

Posted in:Bathrobe|Candids|Garbage|Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2007

31

May

I am – Danielle Lloyd Bikini Pictures of the Day

danielle_lloyd_bikini.jpg

I know that I dropped a like to some of these pictures last night, but I figured I should do a post on them because that’s how obvious I am. I like to tip you fuckers off to posts I am going to do the following day just to keep everyone on the same page. Fuck surprises, I can’t compete with the speed of some of these virgin bloggers who have some keen ability to land all the fucking paparazzi pictures first. Sometimes I think they are out there taking the pictures themselves, but realize their acne, overbearing mother and social awkwardness prevents them from leaving the house too often. Either way, they make me look like a shitty blogger, because most of the celebrities I post about I’ve never heard of while these fuckers have their life stories, bra size and current relationship status branded on their brains.

danielle_lloyd_bikini6.jpg

Either way, here are the pictures of Danielle Lloyd, I am not sure who she is and I was going to go on and on about how bad I am at this blogging gayness but since I am up against a group of people you probably made fun of in high school, giving them a complex and leading them to this as a job, I’m pretty sure I’ll come out on top. I may not have been the virgin loser who chronically masturbated, was scared of girls and who everyone laughed at for dressing up like a Star Wars character for the high school dance because I was the slacker who no one really liked, who dropped out of school at 16 but still got pussy because I started drinking at a young age. No one wanted to be me, but no one picked on me and being too cool for school is way cooler than the school being too cool for you…

danielle_lloyd_bikini10.jpg

I should write an after-school special, I’ll cast Danielle Lloyd as the teacher who gets knocked up by a 15 year old gangster from her English class who sells weed. Seems like she’s into that whole Blacks on Blonds Business….or what I like to call BBB, at first I thought she was too skinny for that, then realized she’s planning for the future by the looks of her body, her budding cankles and double chin, I can tell you she’ll be a fat mess in a few years…that doesn’t mean stop eating girls….I like fat chicks, I married a fat chick, I was just making conversation. Cuddles.

Now With Some Shorts On….

Posted in:BBB|Bikini|Danielle Lloyd|Miami|Pool|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

picture-16.jpg

I like to get drunk and when I get drunk I usually don’t have anyone to talk to. I can’t really drunk dial anyone because I don’t have anyone’s phone number and my wife just doesn’t entertain me when I am drunk so she’s off the list of things to do while drunk. My new favorite thing is drunk IMing and Facebooking.

I suggest that tonight after you drink your lonely self into a happy place, message your highschool sweetheart telling her you still sleep with a picture of her everynight and that life hasn’t been the same without her the last 20 years. Or try find people who work at local stores you go to and ask them what they are wearing and what they think about when masturbating, or maybe even start up on a co-worker by telling her how hot you think she is and how you think about her when you’re masturbating.

The good thing about the internet is that it is faceless, the bad thing is when you run into these people again, but it’s all worth the fun.

In the meantime, click on my links.


Lohan and Her Slut of a Mother in 1986
GO

Calum Best – Lohan’s Boytoy for a Weekend – Doing Lines Off of Hookers
GO

Some Chick Calls Her Dad Before Stripping on Girls Gone Wild
GO

Romantic Day At the Fountain
GO

Beyonce May Have a Penis
GO

Crazy Fucking Mother Who Takes Her Girl To Get the Lohan Special at the Tanning Salon Video – INSANE
GO

Some Girl’s Photobucket Pierced Nipples
GO

Firecracker Wake Up Prank
GO

Another Bai Ling Nipple Slip in Cannes Last Week
GO

Guy Makes His girlfriend Dress Up Like a Stormtrooper…Not Sure How He Got a Girlfriend….
GO

Owner of Quiznos Takes Out a Homeless Guy
GO

Elisha Cuthbert is a Dump on Her Way To Paris’
GO

Blonde Girl Beats Up 2 Goth Chicks
GO

Disgusting Ball Sack Sex Video – NSFW
GO

Paulina Rubio Cameltoe Performs
GO

Madonna Lookin’ Old on the Set of Some Movie She Is Directing
GO

Imogen Thomas Topless for the First Time, She’s From Big Brother in Europe…
GO

Photobucket Nipples
GO

Some Chicks Doing Some Webcam Show Ass Shake Bullshit…
GO

Sexy Bull Riding Girls
GO

What the fuck is Up With Paula Abdul…What Meds is She On???
GO

Petra Nemcova Short Dress Action
GO

Britney Loses Top While Performing….Shitty Video Worth Watching….
GO

This Umbilical Reconnection System is Fucking Weird But I Laughed. Unfortunately…
GO

Sex Doll Factory Pictures That Will Turn You On – Weirdo
GO

Holly Valance is Some Chick Posing in Fishnets for You
GO

Funny Girls in Bikini Race Video
GO

Britney Spears Was Drunk and Puking in Her Hotel This Weekend
GO

Dancehall Dancers Doing Their Dancehall Ass Shaking Dances at Some Dancehall Dance Convention
GO

Some Chick Punches Some Idiot in the Face Because He Asks Her To
GO

Celine Dion Has a Transgendered Son
GO

Some Chick Masturbating Video – NSFW
GO

Lohan in Rehab Pictures, Because Rehab is Where You Make Friends With Bigger and Better Addicts…
GO

Lohan tried to Kill Herself – At Least that’s the Rumor. I bet she was just on her period.
GO

Brad Pitt in Montreal. I Live in Montreal. I am Not Brad Pitt
GO

Blame the Gays for Girls Obsessing About Being Skinny….Probably True Cuz All The Guys I know Fuck Fat Chicks….
GO

Some Webcam Chick Dancing
GO

Summer is here, Girls are Ready and You Have No Game and Can’t Get Them. Rumor Has It That This Product Will Help…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted