DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

19

Aug

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

In the most important news you’ll read today….assuming you still read the news and haven’t turned your back on all the noise over the last year and a half in efforts to not feel helpless or hopeless…I know a lot of people are wisely choosing to TURN off the TV and ignore what’s going on…rather than being outraged, confused and all that other shit that comes with an insane world….

So in the most important news you’ll read today…because news is all bullshit….here’s some asshole behind things, which is less about the bullshit and more about the human shit since thongs aren’t designed wide enough to fully absorb anything the asshole is spitting out, but they bright side of that, the silver lining, the POSITIVE bi-product of a useless panty since it only covers the cunt…is that when a bitch bends over, I see full asshole and the asshole is the window to the soul…or the gateway to the soul…PORT DOCK that shit…literally…

The asshole also unifies a divided people, since everyone has one…while everyone is one….

The magical orifice…my ODE to the asshole…and I guess the THONG that doesn’t really do a good job of covering it…

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2021

19

Aug

Zoe Saldana Rich an Topless of the Day

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If you’ve watched Westworld, you’ve seen Zoe Saldana’s tits…no wait, that was Thandie Newton…FUCK…I suck at this blogging shit…you have to be a real loser to run a fucking blog about celebrities…and luckily I am just that…mainly because of running the blog about celebrities…but I was probably on my way to real loser prior to starting the site being a degenerate drunk in and out of prison who was forced to marry an obese bitch cuz she was on disability and I’d never have to pay rent…it was a selling my soul situation only the rich people who sell their soul get a way better pay out. I’m cheap…

Anyway,I am sure people get them confused all the time, because I found the pics on the FORUM and saw DR CHIN had the same issue….

So yeah….Zoe Saldana…I fucking know who she is, I’m not a racist who thinks that black girls look the same, she’s from AVATAR, you have jerked off to her in some morph suit or animated version of her…and now all these years later…12 years later…you can jerk off to her tits….

She’s “A-List’ high paid….out of New Jersey. She’s Dominican and Puerto Rican. She’s got rocking small tits especially for a 43 year old granny aged, at least in Dominican and Puerto Rico….

In important news, she’s left handed.

In more important news, she’s topless whilst being rich as fuck…and since I like small tits and tight bodies even on granny aged bitches…I’m sold…not that I was too hard to sell…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized

2021

19

Aug

Nicole Kidman See Through of the Day

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I do not have any evidence that Nicole Kidman is human. I know she dated Tom Cruise and those Scientologists may have rigged her with their Alien Technology like they did with Katie Holmes, who we still ASSUME is Katie Holmes, but at their level of fame, who fucking knows what goes on behind the scenes.

I will assume that whether she’s human or android…sophisticated AI to trick you fools….her source of energy is not food, but rather baby blood from aborted fetus…

I am pretty sure there was a celebrity on Ellen bragging about going down to Mexico for “STEM CELL” facials, where they get smothered in abortion blood..but I may have just made that up…BUT I do know that stem cell facials exist and that women use it without thinking they are rubbing abortion or placenta on their face…ANYTHING for creepy fucking beauty…

Anyway, Nicole Kidman must be 100. I feel like Days of Thunder was from 40 years ago…like I was 10 years old when she got her start yet here she is still willing to be jerked off to….

Maybe Stepford Wives was a documentary, I don’t know…but we’ve been graced or hashtag blessed all these years with Kidman’s tits, why stop a good thing now….not that her breasts are all that good…but they are good for 100 year old alien wizard demon she likely is…and that counts for something…

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Posted in:Nicole Kidman

2021

19

Aug

Lais Ribeiro Skinny Dip of the Day

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Lais Ribeiro is some big titty single mother who is probably not single anymore, a bitch needs to pay the bills and when they are hot enough, why bother using their own model money, when they can use some rich guy’s money, because even the best paid models, don’t really own private jets, it’s the old guys they fuck who like having models around that do, and that’s not some sexist shit, I think women can very well own private jets, I am sure the Kardashians do, Rihanna probably does too…but a Victoria’s Secret model is not quite the same level earner..

Anwyay, she did a cock tease side tit, which is a big tit, in some sort of watering hole that looks wonderful, until the brain eating amebas kill you off, or nest in your single mom pussy, that’s likely seen some shit in its quest to get out of Brazil and into America living that American dream….but the good news is, I’d eat Brain Eating Amebas out of her fucking shit she left in the woods before this picture was taken…even if it was weeks later…and I don’t even have a fecal fetish….

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Posted in:Lais Ribeiro

2021

19

Aug

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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Will there be tanlines in the internment camps?

I just don’t know what to expect and I am not all that excited to find out.

I realize that people are morons and don’t agree with my opinion on the things I see and read….or with my gut feeling or what I’ve expected to see happen…and that’s ok, it’s your right to believe what you want to believe…

So with that being said, I am going to assume there won’t be tanlines in the internment camps, unless they distract us in their dystopia with porno, which they probably will….and have done all these years on the internet on purpose….but for now…I’ll assume there won’t be tanlines because no one will be allowed out for more than an hour a day for any sun…and even if they were there wouldn’t be a sun to tan under because Gates has a plan to DIM THE FUCKING SUN….

So take these in, tanlines are hot, and potentially a dying artform, especially if 99 percent of Humanity is left and the only survivors are gun toting redneck inbreds who aren’t so fun to jerk off to because their farmer tans don’t have the same romance as a bikini tan…when they’re fucking me up the ass for my last can of baked beans…

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

19

Aug

Frida Aasen In The Bathroom of the Day

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Frida Aasen’s showing her ass because that’s what models do. It’s actually what all women do, just not on ONLYFANS anymore, I saw the news that no more porn will be posted there, despite it being a porn site that people are only paying to subscribe to in efforts to see the girls they follow be the sluts they already know they are but pretend they aren’t…

Frida Aasen is not one of those Only Fans gutter girls squeezing dudes out of money like a stripper who finds a nerd with a credit card….or at least nerd money from Bitcoin or nerd shit that I wish I knew about so that I could buy women like Frida Aasen to be part of my ad campaign about my vaginal-like-penis…the PEOPLE need to know.

But Frida Aasen is showing her model ass, that is an official model ass, and I endorse models, I am from a generation when trolls weren’t allowed to be models, I thought that was a good thing, since I am surrounded by trolls every fucking day, so when I look to marketing materials I like it hot…and she is hot…

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Posted in:Frida Aasen

2021

19

Aug

Camila Mendes Bikini of the Day

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I guess I should get to posting the site, since it’s basically the end of the day, but the reality is that I started the site so that I could go days without updating it, it’s called DrunkenStepfather.com you think this is some fucking media empire, I’m a fucking clown idiot who is barely educated running a website alone….it’s pretty weird…but yeah, I don’t like working, I like drinking, I like sleeping, yet here I am day in and day out spending hours on this shit for no fucking reason…it is stupid, one day I will stop….

BUT BEFORE I DO….

Camila Mends who I used to call a Neckless Mayan, because Mayans are known to have short necks accorting to the RACIST PROPAGANDA I have read about Mayans….and now she’s in MAYAN COUNTRY living her bikini selfie life….because COVID PANDEMICS don’t apply to rich people from the TV, even if the TV they are from is garbage fucking programming, it’s a hit show, because people are dumb and she still gets paid..

So while she’s in TULUM reconnecting with her people at their ruins….they have Mayan Ruins in TULUM….she’s slipped into a bikini and the good news is…she’s hotter than she used to be.

Her bulldog jowls, her chunky body, her lack of a neck…all cleared itself up, she must have got paid, or maybe she got replaced by a new hotter clone, because her handlers read our comments in our suggestion box that is this site….

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Posted in:Camila Mendes

2021

19

Aug

Christina Milian Bikini of the Day

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I was talking to my friend Estevan about old bitches, because as men we collectively agree that once a few kids have been farted out a bunch of babies, and after her mimosa filled “LORDY LORDY LOOK WHO IS 40″….she stops being the kind of bitch we jerk off to anymore…

We could do a scientific study on this if we had some funding, maybe I’ll send a proposal to the good people at the Bill Gates Foundation, since he’s got vested interest in proving that 40 year old ladies are gross…maybe a little too eager on that based on his circle of friends…you know waht I mean….

I like to look at the positive in these situations and knowing that her vagina probably can’t grip an average sized pussy, despite her kegels, you can celebrate her lack of elasticity in her pussy by treating it like a speed bag….you know FIST that bitch hard, fast, and without ANY resistence…

A society without resistence, or in this case, a vagina without any resistance, allows for evil doers to move in with rubber gloves up their arm like Dr Dredd, or whatever the evil villain in Who Framed Roger Rabbit was named….you know the scene…Judge Doom…there you go…THAT’s GOOGLE Owned Youtube for giving me what I was looking for you EVIL fucking monsters who have censored me since 2004…cunts…bigger than Milians.

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Posted in:Christina Millian

2021

19

Aug

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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DROP THE TITTY…

IT’s the new DROP the MIC but less fucking annoying when people do it….because when you see someone like Fallon pull off a MIC DROP when he makes a weak, castrated, cuck joke on his late night daycare show…..you know that you should never participate in said trend…and you should use it as a filtering mechanism to reorganize your friends and people you associate with….

A MIC DROP statement is code for “I must be killed off”….

a TITTY DROP statement is code for “I like showing off my tits and since other girls are doing it under this titty drop game or challenge, I’ll do it too”…whci is logic that works for me cuz it involves showing tits….any tactic or manipulation to get girls to show tits…normalize it, make it activism, make it a game…you know google “How to start a cult”…or “How to create a tyrannical fascist totalitarian government”….and apply that political science, or neurolinguistic programming or basic fallacies….TO TITTIES…and I’m on board.

DROP THE TITTY!