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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

05

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan Performing of the Day

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Nothing says I am a piece of Florida trash that would have become a stripper if my dad let me because being a stripper has been my dream for my entire cheesy slut life that when I sit alone in my room I put on assless pants and pretend that I was rocking the pole until I realized that if I became a talentless hack of a popstar with my dad’s money funding my career, I can do my stripper routine in my assless pants on stage for lots of people to see that my fat ass is less fat than it was when I started to live my fucking dream. It’s actually a typical situation for a girl who no one wanted to fuck because they thought she was worth fucking, but instead fucked her because her dad is a fucking legend in the WWF, which may not be saying much, but I know some of you would still let Hulk Hogan give you a hot oil massage, not because you are gay, but because you are lonely and human touch is something you’re yearning for….Either way, always being second lead her to emotional eating that turned her fat until she realized that she could make a name for herself and started to hit the fucking treadmill and that is my theory on this slut.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|Cameltoe|Performing|Unsorted

2007

05

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie Hiking to Stay Fit of the Day

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Here are some Nicole Richie staying fit by Hiking in Hollywood in spandex, showing off her nasty non existent ass that I’d probably stick my dick in if I could get it up, but only because it would probably look pretty big for the first time in my life. It’s part of the reason why I used to only date girls with small hands, I thought that the contrast made me feel like more of a man but that’s not important.

What is important is that nothing screams I am a hippie lesbian who eats granola and doesn’t shave her box like a girl who hikes. They are the kind of bitches in Birkenstock sandals, cargo pants and oversized sweatshirts with some kind of University Name or Country flag embroidered across their thick lesbian chests. They rock no make-up and wear hats to cover their ratty, yet practical hair and on the back of their hiking bags they’ve got all kinds of water bottles and camping gear, I guess in case they come across some kind of hill, mountain or wooded area that needs to be conquered.

Here are those Nicole Richie Pics, I guess the shocking news is that the heat and activity didn’t kill her, sometimes when answering emails too quickly I get hot flashes and my heart starts going insane…maybe no eating is the key to healthy living….

Posted in:Ass|Exercise|Nicole Richie|Unsorted

2007

05

Jun

I am – Michelle Marsh in a Bikini By The Pool of the Day

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I know that some of your fuckers are major sports fans because your lives are seriously lacking something and you like the distraction. When you are bored you are either looking up sport stats to bet on the games or looking up pictures of blonde chicks with big fake tits to jerk off to. The reason I know that you assholes like sports is because I get emails about how I don’t do enough sports content, but the blonde chicks with fake tits are what keep you coming back. I think Michelle Marsh is up on this shit and realizes that the key to her success now that she’s already showed us all her big fake tits is to hit up the sports market by wearing a British soccer bikini, because even if England isn’t your team at least you sports fanatics can pretend she’s into watching the game while drinking a beer with you. It’s got nothing to do with the fact that she’s probably already fucked 3/4 of the team.

If you’re wondering why I was never into team sports, it’s simple. I suck at them. I don’t understand wasting time trying to kick balls or shoot baskets or throw touchdowns, I think it’s a distraction from what’s important and that is getting drunk. I think that working with a bunch of dudes towards menial success like winning is just a way to trick yourself that you have purpose. Reality is that the local pick-up game doesn’t mean shit in the grand scheme of the world. That’s not to say that what I spend my time doing does have any kind of impact, but at least I am wallowing in self-pity while drunk, instead of tricking myself into thinking I am good at something because I ended up on the team with the Ethiopian dude who can run faster than a cheetah because he spent his life running away from Cheetahs who tried to eat him. I guess the other reason I hate sports is the whole gay factor of a group of men in the shower and slapping each other’s asses in a testosterone rage and there is the small issue with me not being physically fit enough to walk up a flight of stairs. Hard living motherfucker, it takes it’s toll….

Either way, Here’s Michelle Marsh Manipulating You in a Bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Marsh|Sports|Unsorted

2007

05

Jun

I am – Heather Locklear trying to Prevent a Vagina Slip of the Day

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Heather Locklear may be old, but she’s a good kind of old. She’s the type of old who has a lot of money and very little to do. I don’t think she’s been on TV or in Movies in the last 5 years, but for some reason is so vain that she spends her days with personal trainers and diet coaches to ensure that she’s still got some work in her. Maybe the reason she does that is because she built her career on being the hot blonde bitch guys wanted to fuck and got casted in whatever the fuck she’s done to try to lure in male audiences so we could tolerate her useless shows while our wives and girlfriends made us watch them. That pressure is a good thing, because she doesn’t want to retire and is maintaining that sex appeal. I guess it’s working because when I look at these pictures I get annoyed that she’s taking preventative measures to not expose too much….I guess what she doesn’t realize is that if a little panty saw the light of day, every fucking blog would be up on this shit and she’d be the topic of discussion at the water cooler in an office near you, possibly landing her the role of a lifetime.

I was at the stripclub this weekend because I accidentally joined a bachelor party that was walking by me while downtown. I was trying to get a few dollars to buy beer and they liked me enough to invite me along. They were drunk and when the bachelor got on stage to be humiliated, the strippers took all their contempt for me grabbing at them out on him. He ended up completely naked and I had never seen that kind of abuse during one of these shows. Dude was drunk and ended up pushing a stripper to the ground and running off stage, tripping, and landing on me naked. It was an interesting way to meet the guy I was partying for. Either way, there were 2 young chicks from New York there with their boyfriends, both were hot and part of the Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lohan generation where being a slut is cool. They were so into the stripping that when my new found friends asked if they would give him a lap dance, they said sure. I ended up tagging along to the booth with them because I don’t give up any opportunity to see non-strippers in a strip club strip. I watched them dance around for 2 songs and all bitch did was show us her fucking bra. I kept asking for some nipple or ass and they weren’t having it. They were a lot like Heather Locklear holding back on all of us, and I guess the only think I can say is that it is a pretty frustrating and disappointing feeling. Cocktease.

Bonus – A Girls Aloud Chick Preventing a Getting Out of the Car Upskirt….and A Girls Aloud Chick Having a Total Upskirt

Posted in:Girls Aloud|Heather Locklear|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

04

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I had my mind set on doing a bunch more posts today with all the fucking MTV pics that hit. I was going to live blog the show because I haven’t live blogged in a long time but realized that I don’t get it on my one channel. I was going to write about how Cameron Diaz has AMAZING fucking legs especially considering she’s 40 years old. I was going to talk about how Victoria Beckham looks like a total stripping piece of trash with her pink bra exposed and I love stripping pieces of trash. I was going to to talk about how Amanda Bynes is a mini Lohan and looks all coked up and ratty like Lohan and I like that too. I was going to write about Megan Fox’s prison tattoo on her forearm and how that shit is not hot to me because I don’t like obscure randomly placed tattoos of Marilyn Monroe because they remind me of old army men, but bitch is pretty fucking decent looking. Then I realized that uploading all these pictures you’ve already seen would be a lot of fucking work for nothing, so I just did my stepLINKS instead motherfucker…and there are a lot of them…All worth clickin…


The stepHOTLINE Hottest Message of the Day – I wonder if this chick is hot because I think I am in love….
GO

Britney Spears has a Busted Cellulite Ridden Underwear Riding High Exposed Ass
GO

AKON picks up a Kid and Throws Him Because He’s Fucking Insane and thinks He’s Still In Africa
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Hometown Hotties Semi Finalists For You To Vote on After Jerking Off To
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Girls Aloud Sarah Harding Tight Upskirt
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Old Jenna Jameson Naked Pics
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Lauren Hastings is a Useless Slut Who Models and is Riding Lohan’s Name To The Top This is a New Useless Message Wishing Her Luck…While Bitch Wrote Me a Myspace Message Calling Lohan Going to Rehab and the Whole DUI Karma. She’s full of shit and I hate people who are full of shit. Click the Link….
GO

Have you Ever Seen THis Carmen Electra Naked School Girl Video?
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Blowjob in the Park Video
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Pussy Glamore is a Lingerie Company and this is a Behind The Scenes Video Of Their Photoshoot
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Sophia Loren has a Hot Nip Slip
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Britney Spears Upskirt Panty Shot
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Kim Kardashian Has an Insane Big Booty
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Paris Hilton Going to Jail Video
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MTV Movie Awards 2007 Picture Post
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MTV Movie Awards Sarah Silverman Monlogue Bullshit Where She Disses Paris
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Attack of the Penis
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Crazy High School Girl Runs After a Dude and gets Owned
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Paris Hilton’s Mug Shot and Booking Sheet
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Andy Warhol Eating a Burger
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Some Chick Named Carli Banks Goes to the Beach
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This is Phamous69 – Click on Movies There Are A Lot of Obscure Erotic Artistic Shit You’ll Like
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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How About a Little Dinner in the Sky
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Idiot Lets His Friends Brand Him
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Here’s Some Weird Porn For You Called ET Lesbian Alien Sex That I am Pretty Sure You’ll Like Cuz You Are Weird
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Crazed Homeless Guy Gets in a Fight with Shrek in Hollywood
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How About some Lesbian Naked Baby Oil Wrestling
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Victoria Silvstedt Fully Naked Pics I’ve Never Seen
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Adrianne Curry Working the Pole
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Rihanna Photoshoot With Jay Z Jizz on her Legs
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Some Chick Named Lara Bingle Modeling Some Bare Lingerie
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This is Considered Good Ass Lyposuction Results
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Some MILF Sex Tape – NSFW
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How About Some Coco Exposed Tits
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Some Teen Masturbating int he Shower
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Brazilian Butt Augmentation and Vagina Rejuvenation Success Story…
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A really Shitty Video About Some Loser Who Wants To Be a Bra When He Dies…I am Sure This Dude Will Get a TV DEAL…Too Bad the Girl Is Fucking Ugly….
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A Whole Lot of Ana Beatriz Barros Lookin’ Hot
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Some Hot Chick Shaking Her Ass and Doing the Splits on Webcam
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Heidi Montag’s New Tits the MTV Paid for Because They Are Fiming this season of The Hills During the Summer With Lots of Bikini Action – True Story – Someone Emailed that into me.
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Shitty Pictures from an Underwear Party
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Christina Aguilera Walking Her Pet Monkey of the Day
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Get your girl a C-String…It’s the New Big Thing…
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Call the stepHOTLINE, It’s Free and I Care About What You Have to Say
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Remember To Use This Spray to Get Laid
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Heres a Video of Big Tits on the Beach….

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Big Breasted Whores of the Day

I am not sure how legal it is to videotape girls walking by you then putting it on the internet but I really have no choice with this one. We were watching these girls at a bar get chatted up by a lot of married “business men” who were probably in town looking for a “good time”. We got stuck in the elevator with them at the end of the night where they made some funny sex jokes and my friend thought they had a great personality, the kind of chick you’d want to marry. I was too busy looking at their insane bodies. They got off on the 7th floor with a group of dudes who were also in the elevator and who probably didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, but when a girl like this follows you back to your hotel room, you can’t be sending them home, if you know what I mean.

For the record I am not implying that they are anything but girls out to have a good time and if I was capable of it, they are the kind of girls I’d want to have a good time with…but when I was on the market, I usually got stuck with the lower grade meat you find on the street shaking and ratty and lookin’ for a dollar

The whole time I was watching them stand there and rub their tits and make rude jokes I thought I was day dreaming….it had to be a dream, but I was drunk and had this video to remind me they actually existed. Montreal is known for the hot girls, you should come visit. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepTV|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Pamela Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

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Pam Anderson is Kissing some Magician named Hans Klok at his magic show. Magic shows are pretty fucking lame, but I can only assume virgins are into this shit, like they are into wrestling and computer games and that’s part of the reason I am posting them. See, I totally work for you.

I guess the only really magic at this event is that this hag can still pull off a bathing suit in public. But lots of money in plastic surgery and maintenance isn’t really all that magical…I do know that nothing says party like Pam Anderson in a one piece bathing suit, showing off her old haggard body that is probably hotter than any body you’ve ever seen at your local strip club, I know that you still jerk off to this whore, because that’s what a legacy does. No matter how old she gets we will always remember what she was and reality is, she still has something working for her, even if she’s plastic.

Speaking of plastic, I was leaving a strip club a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine who had been there about 2 hours before I showed up. He spent most of his welfare check on this one bitch in the booth and kept going on about how horny she made him. She had huge fake tits and looked like she dreamt of being Pam Anderson. When we walked by a dollar peep show that pretty much plays clips of porn for a dollar dude walked in. He told me to wait outside. About 3 minutes later he walked out and had just rubbed one out. He was sold on how amazing these things were and I thought the whole thing was fucking hysterical. I have never done the whole peepshow thing and probably never will. I watch too much porn on the computer and shit does nothing for me, so paying a dollar to sit in a booth where dirty fucking men have busted nut is not my idea of a good fucking time. I do think that it is a good option for someone like you though, seeing as you never get laid and masturbation has become boring. It’s kind like the middle ground between doing it on public transit to switch things up but still being private enough for you to not get arrested.

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing SuitPamela Anderson One Piece Bathing SuitPamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing SuitPamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Pamela Anderson|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Some Lohan Personal Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Lohan showing us all how she is a broken down teenager with major fucking issues. I am talking goth chick who cuts herself, or crazed drug induced psychosis, or just some freaky fucking fetish shit that I don’t fucking understand, but you probably do because you’re a fucking creep….

Speaking of creep, I was on the roof of some bar patio this weekend smoking a cigar next to some Persian chick. This middle aged man started chatting her up and thought that I was trying to move in on his game. I wasn’t really interested because I don’t pick up chicks. I was kickin’ back watching their TV and dude was telling her how I was trying to look down her shirt. I let his bullshit slide the first few times then I took it personally. Reality is, when you are constantly called a fucking creep day in and day out for begging girls on the net to get naked, eventually you either start believing it or become pretty defensive and angry when people say it….

I decided to tell him that he’s got shitty game and that there’s no way that Persian girl will ever let him ride her oil well. That was my Iranian reference of the day. I don’t remember how heated shit got with him, because I lost interest and zoned out to finish smoking my cigar, but I am pretty convinced that the girl was on my side in the end and just wanted him to fuck off because he was the creep….

The point of my story is to never judge a book by its cover. Sure I look like a sleazy fucker and I say sleazy fucking things and I like looking at girls naked and I like checking out their tits and trying to see them naked…okay, maybe I am a creep and you should keep me away from your girlfriends, but I think it should be because they will fall in love with me and not because I will touch them inappropriately, even if I want to.

Lohan on the otherhand is a well oiled machine. Everything she does is strategic and has a team of consultants telling her how to act. I can only assume that these pics of Lohan are staged and bitch isn’t as creepy or intense or morbid as these pictures make her out to be, she’s just full of fucking shit and trying to be hardcore in some cocaine rage. I am convinced that she just sits at home, self medicates, is insane and counts her money while she’s not letting male models cum inside her….the knives are just props to make us all believe her bullshit story…otherwise shit would have never hit the internet. Believing the bullshit is just feeding into the fucking hype that is a little freckled slut for Long Island.

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit PicturesLohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit PicturesLohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Posted in:Candids|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Brooke Burke Bikini Pics of the Day

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Brooke Burke just had a kid recently and she looks pretty fucking tight. When the girls I know get knocked up they usually end up at an abortion clinic because pregnancy is bad for business in the whore ring, even though some people dig it. The other women I know who have kids are usually at that point in their life where they don’t need to seduce anymore. They are settled down and ready to raise a family and don’t give a fuck what they look like anymore. It just means the bad habits they made while eating whatever the fuck they wanted while pregnant stick and a life of getting fatter and fatter is to follow, always blaming the miracle they created for their demise without actually admitting that part of them resents their little babies…

Brooke Burke is pretty much the opposite of that. She looks fucking awesome, and feel like her whole baby thing was a publicity stunt and a pillow under her shirt because this body isn’t fucking normal after having a kid. But if I am wrong and that she did actually drop life into this world via her hot box, it just means that she’s no virgin and that she takes loads in her….and with a body like this…that’s a pretty nice thought….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Burke|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Gay Porn Moment of the Day

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I hate this Sarah Silverman bitch. She looks like shit and is about as funny as the rash on my balls that won’t go away. I know to other people a rash on my balls that won’t go away could cause a good fucking laugh, but the bleeding, burning and infection I have to deal with daily makes it not very funny at all. Watching her make lame shit and piss jokes that she thinks are fucking hysterical and that were kinda pushing the limit and were better than anything that fat gay dude from Hollywood Squares with the red plastic glasses could do it still makes me question my sexuality, because if there are women like that in the world I don’t know if I can look at vagina the same way ever again. Since I am impotent, I guess the fact that I don’t get it up kinda makes me asexual and reality is that there are so many amazing girls in the world that I wouldn’t give up on a whole race because of one bad apple, so in my mind I’ll just pretend this slut has a dick, which isn’t too much of a stretch.

On the same note, Jessica Biel is more ripped than Paris Hilton’s vagina after the night she spent with Rick Solomon in the hotel room that she’ll never live down. That shit will follow her for life like her herpes but this post is about Jessica Biel and Sarah Silverman, two dudes in women’s clothing, trying to make you laugh but almost making out on MTV and how there is nothing hot about that unless you’re a motherfucker who likes tranny porn. Obviously there are a lot of tranny porn lovers out there because porn companies make this shit and I can only assume that the 15 of you fuckers who read this site are probably in that market because I attract the fucking winners.

Either way, this is your Gay Porn Moment of the day because if these bitches don’t have dicks, I will be fucking surprised. Don’t let their tits deceive you. Remember that they have ruined a hot fantasy of girl on girl that may never have the same appeal it once had….

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Kissing|Lesbian|Sarah Silverman|Uncategorized|Unsorted