SFW Archives - Page 1024 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

18

Nov

Isabeli Fontana in Lingerie for Old Times of the Day

Isabeli Fontana is the old mom of a model who is still modeling lingerie…decades after she was hired by Victoria’s Secret at 15 or 16 to model their lingerie in their catalog…meaning the brand PAID A 15 or 16 YEAR OLD girl they imported from Brazil to get into her panties…like they were Jared from Subway…but it was before the internet really existed…or could ruin them…and the general public just let it fucking slide…and the photographer hired…was never charged as a sex offender…but I would advise against you shooing pics of a 15 or 16 year old in your basement in her Lingerie…even if you’re a Roman Polanksi in training…you’ll be treated less like the panty mall brand…and more like a fucking criminal you are…because the world is not fair when you are protected by billions of dollars and a Limited Liability Corporation….

So keep buying your panties from Victoria’s Secret…you hypocritical Jesus freaks fully absorbed in your mall brand… mall shopping habits…while Isabeli, hot even when old and a mom Isabeli…poses for some other brand…

Posted in:Isabeli Fontana|SFW

2015

18

Nov

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is Amazing of the Day

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Rosie Hungtington-Whiteley must be very old by now, but I still think she’s great…

She just has this classic model vibe to her, she’s pre Instagram, and she knows it and can look down on every new model and laugh knowing their story is not based on skill or talent, but on sucking up to the right people….or other social media celebrities…perpetuating the lie that is their relevance…

And the fact that she’s British and has a bitchy face, just makes me assume she can throw dirty looks at them when they are at the same parties, that Rosie ends up leaving because she can’t lower herself to their level..

I also like that she’s been the hot pussy in movies, proving that acting requires no talent, if you’re pretty, something you’ve probbaly known since Marilyn Monroe…not that I am comparing Rosie Hungtington-Whiteley to Marilyn Monroe, or to being anyone nearly as memorable as Marilyn Monroe…I’m just saying bitches have been talentless scams forever…I just like when they believe their shit, act the part, like divas because of their shit…especially when they look like this…

I hate when girls are gracious, nice, sweet, or suck ups…I like bad attitudes all the time…the more they hate me, the more I love them….especially when they are having sex with me…because I can’t respect a girl who enjoys sex with me…if you know what I looked like naked, you’d understand…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rosie Hungtington-Whiteley|SFW

2015

18

Nov

Welcome Back Thora Birch of the Day

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Thora Birch is the mid 30s actress you’v enever heard of….because she hasn’t done anything in the last 10 years…but if you’re an old pervert, or a hipster obsessed with the 90s, dressing like you’re on the fucking Cosby show, you’ll remember her as the child star in movies like Hocus Pocus and some other shit….

Then she hit puberty and became the star of a lot of independent films, that brought new life to Hollywood, before totally being back burnered for blockbuster, actor driven garbage we have today…

So she was the tits you didn’t necessarily want to fuck in America Beauty because she wasn’t the alien headed American Pie chick…or the tits you didn’t necessarily want to fuck in Ghost World because she wasn’t Scarlett Johansson…you know the awkward other girl…with the tits…

Well, I guess she’s making a comeback, because why else would she be in this magazine, and really the only picture worth looking at is the one in the granny panty diaper…spread legged looking awkard and doughy…with some tit…

Take it in, welcome her back…via masturbation like she was still that 13 year old girl you had a crush on in that Hocus Pocus porn…because you’re weird…

Posted in:SFW|Thora Birch

2015

18

Nov

Irina Shayk in Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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I am so on the ball, I posted the cover picture of Irina Shayk in Harper’s Bazaar yesterday….and to quote myself, because how much can one motherfucker say about this bitch….here’s what I said…

Irina Shayk is one the Cover of Harper’s Bazaar…I’m not sure if it is the America issue or an obscure market issue, I don’t do all that much research into these things, especially when it comes to Russian hookers, who I am just impressed, but not really, because she’s Russian, and Russians are bright, the fact they have no souls, means emotions don’t get in the way of these things, like strategically finding a way out of the Iron Curtain, to live the American dream with all the McDonalds and Levis she can imagine, all by using any means possible, which in her case was being the beard for what has been rumored to be a gay as fuck soccer star in a homophobic European market…use hot RUssian, she knows better than to talk, her people know about keeping secrets, she’ll be good…especially if we put her in Sports Illustrated to make the story more legit…a task that takes one phone call when you’re a huge soccer star trying to pay off a girl by getting her in a magazine that your team pretty much control…

Now she’s dating an A-List actor, and covering magazines, and she is really fucking hot, so I don’t care, and she’s jumped through the hoops to make this happen, so she’s deserving, I just like knowing that I know the scam she pulled, it makes seeing these pics feel like the ultimate troll I’m in on…but maybe that’s just because I created all this in my crazy mind, like some kind of personality disorder delusion…

That’s probably what it is…I’m crazy…and she’s a supermodel who did it the same way other supermodels do it…with hard work ethic and not fucking A listers…right…that’s gotta be it.

And I am reposting this, because all the pics dropped….

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2015

18

Nov

Rita Ora for Self Magazine of the Day

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Rita Ora is in bikinis in Self Magazine, which would make a lot more sense if it was called “Pretending to Be Someone Else” Magazine…and I guess the good news is that she’s not in Shape…literally…but it’s the same caliber of shitty pictures…and they also made a video…

Watch this on The Scene.

And here are the pictures..where you can see the difference between photoshopped images and not photoshopped video screengrabs…where she’s all belly jelly bean shaped…and equally relevant but eager, fame whoring, and desperate to succeed…in both….

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2015

18

Nov

Lindsey Vonn is Slutty for Health Magazine of the Day

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Here are some pictures of strong legged, downhill skiing, Lindsay Vonn, who is probably pretty excited to hear that Tiger Woods isn’t the whore fucking A-List billionaire who tested positive for HIV…even though …he is into the questionable, unstable, insipid, women…when he’s not seducing other pro Athletes…

She’s in some slutty enough poses, because I guess to keep up with Tiger’s needs, you have to have some level of slut in your soul, at least based on the disgusting hookers he was linked to when his scandal hit…but as someone who knows skiers, they are so muscular, that being slutty seems to just come with the territory…it’s called Apres Ski motherfuckers….it’s where the snow pants come off, and the long underwear…gets soaked through..the squats get shown off….usually in the form of terrifying, pumpkin squashing thighs…that you wouldn’t normally want wrapped around your neck…but you’re a subservient bitch…

Posted in:Lindsey Vonn|SFW

2015

17

Nov

Kate Hudson Shows You How to Make Owen Wilson Try Kill Himself of the Day

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Kate Hudson is in the latest issue of Harper’s Bazaar….I guess she’s trying to promote a movie…because this is how press works…it’s all paid for by the movie companies to get buzz about the movies…because the more people care about the star, the more likely they will leave their house and buy an overpriced ticket to a shitty movie that will be like so many movies before it…only to be a sitting duck for an ISIS attack…who would probably know better than to shoot up a movie theater…since every time I’ve been to a movie, it’s the only way I can escape my wife, it’s been a fucking ghost town…and not the 100,000,000 tickets sold per week it once was…thanks to the interenet…

But I don’t see this as her promoting a movie, I see it more as some of the tricks she uses when fucking all the men she’s fucked, in efforts to win them over, or to get filled with their cum to have their out of wedlock kids, to give purpose in her empty hollywood lives…or in Owen Wilson’s case…to lead him to suicide attempts…I remember that day like it was yesterday…and the entire time I was like “how good does that bitch have to be in bed to make a dude who can fuck anything want to kill himself when she leaves, especially after knowing how she’s fucked everyone, or how she has a kid, and is just some broken rich kid you should just bang out and move on with….”…but I guess now, with these poses, that look like they belong in Shape Magazine, are the answer…”bitch can suck her fucking knee”…erotic.

Posted in:Kate Hudson|SFW

2015

17

Nov

Bella Thorne Fitness of the Day

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In the event you’re wondering how 40 year old Bella Thorne keeps her youthful body young enough to pass for 16, while to me looking old enough to be a mom, she doesn’t it through fitness…fitness she wanted to share with her fanbase of 12 year old girls…and their fathers…who are forced to watch her shitty TV shows…but luckily the shitty TV shows know to cast some busty, fit, redhead…to give father’s a reason to buy the merch and go to the feature film…because any marketer knows..it’s all about sex…make the girls want to be the girls the guys are jerking off to…even when doing it subconsciouly..or in Bella Thorne’s case…intentionally to become a household name…it’s like “don’t look my tits, I wore this because I didn’t want you to look at my tits, it’s just what girls work out in, it’s not about my tits, you pervert”….yet all I see are tits..

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2015

17

Nov

Irina Shayk for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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Irina Shayk is one the Cover of Harper’s Bazaar…I’m not sure if it is the America issue or an obscure market issue, I don’t do all that much research into these things, especially when it comes to Russian hookers, who I am just impressed, but not really, because she’s Russian, and Russians are bright, the fact they have no souls, means emotions don’t get in the way of these things, like strategically finding a way out of the Iron Curtain, to live the American dream with all the McDonalds and Levis she can imagine, all by using any means possible, which in her case was being the beard for what has been rumored to be a gay as fuck soccer star in a homophobic European market…use hot RUssian, she knows better than to talk, her people know about keeping secrets, she’ll be good…especially if we put her in Sports Illustrated to make the story more legit…a task that takes one phone call when you’re a huge soccer star trying to pay off a girl by getting her in a magazine that your team pretty much control…

Now she’s dating an A-List actor, and covering magazines, and she is really fucking hot, so I don’t care, and she’s jumped through the hoops to make this happen, so she’s deserving, I just like knowing that I know the scam she pulled, it makes seeing these pics feel like the ultimate troll I’m in on…but maybe that’s just because I created all this in my crazy mind, like some kind of personality disorder delusion…

That’s probably what it is…I’m crazy…and she’s a supermodel who did it the same way other supermodels do it…with hard work ethic and not fucking A listers…right…that’s gotta be it.

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2015

17

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Push Up Bra of the Day

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The terrible people at Victoria’s Secret, and their overpaid models, who don’t deserve the celebrity that they have…because they are just bodies in underwear…like all women…who wear underwear…only a little taller and more fit…but definitely not worthy of 50,000 dollar day rates…but I guess that’s an expense the brand is willing to pay, it is tax deductible and think off all the savings they make by producing their mall brand, low quality, cheesy design and concept, mass marketed product in sweatshops…

They’ve put together this Push Up Bra video, that probably cost them over 1,000,000 dollars, to help sell product and generate some buzz into the holiday season, that they won’t actually call the Holidays season, because along with ISIS, the war is also on Christmas…we are all god’s people, it’s about inclusion, and being politically correct, but the cunts in this campaign, don’t full agree, just ask them the last time they let a homeless guy eat their pussy…their answer will be that it kind of happend to one of their billboard, because homeless guys are perverts and need to jerk off to something…sometimes…they have nothing else going for them..

Either way, this is just more content to continue the crisis that is Victoria’s Secret…terrorizing the minds of our youth and wives..

But it makes for a pretty easy gift, and really if you gotta fuck your pig wife, this garbage is like putting some lipstick on her…