I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the SFW Category

2015

09

Nov

Sophie Simmons Instagram Whore Hustle of the Day

sophie-

sophie

Sophie Simmons is another rich kid who wants to be a social media star..which is a weird fucking goal for someone who is set to inherit half of her dad’s billion dollar fortune…so I guess get those panty pics that used to reserved for selfies with boyfriends but why not put it out there for everyone – because those likes feel so fucking good…because daddy never said “I love you enough”…he was too busy fucking 80000 KISS FANS…

Either way, hard nipples, average body she’s working so hard for you to see, and whatever works in this attention whoring world we live in…right…

So whatever the reason for the fitness kick…and being fat on TV when she was on TV…and not getting famous from it…she can only blame being fat for that because blaming her personality…would be harder to accept…

Posted in:SFW|Sophie Simmons

2015

09

Nov

Jackie Cruz Orange is the New Black in a White Thong of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 2.28.12 PM

Orange you glad to see Jackie Cruz in a thong bikini…

Orange maybe you’re like me and you have no idea who Jackie Cruz is…thanks to writing this badly written pop culture website with no knowledge of really anything that has anything to do with anything….but my own drunken sexual dysfunctions…

Well, she’s on Orange is the New black…where I guess she has lesbian sex…because I think that’s what that show is about…you’ve probably seen her naked, but I’m too lazy to google her

And she gets in thongs in Miami, as Miami people do…which isn’t all that exciting, unless you’re into her and her ethnically ambigous…gender ambiguous…face…and ass…in a thong…for the record…she’s Domincan….and not a Kardashian..

This is my favorite thing about her:

At age 16, Cruz moved out of her mother’s apartment and became homeless.[8] When she was 17, she was the victim of a car accident where she suffered a collapsed lung, as well as a coma and having to undergo brain surgery.[5][11][4][8] Her song “Sweet Sixteen” is based on the incident.[8]

Rough life – beach living..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF AN ETHICALLY AMBIGUOUS WHITE THONG CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jackie Cruz|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Olivia Culpo for Galore of the Day

oc010

Olivia Culpo is some MISS USA, Nick Jonas NUDE MODEL FOR A MAGAZINE , trying to get more and more high profile, and having it work, because the world is pretty fucking basic and the tactics needed to get a career after already fucking a Jonas Brother, is as simple as getting naked..it has worked so fucking well for all these instagram whores…

Well, now she’s sucking a Fanta in a bikini for GALORE …the magazine that throws all the cool parties at all the cool events…who suck up to the celebrities they feature…because celebrities love being sucked up to…and I am not calling Olivia Culpo or any of the other instagram whores they hang with celebrities, they just think they are and get to fuck celebrities, like hookers…but less obvious than sitting on the side of the street with soiled panties from all the broken condoms and broken dreams in broken homes that brought them into that alley….

What was I saying again? I got too into my street hooker analogy…that visual…was less generic than these visuals of this hooker..

Posted in:Olivia Culpo|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Jewel Tit for the 90s of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 1.56.41 PM

Sometimes you just need to remember all your broken hearts in the 90s that you set to a Jewel “Women in Songs” song…as you cried in bed over lost pussy you wanted to fuck but that wouldn’t fuck you…by looking at pics of her tit next to her kid…

Or…her talking about her sexually relationship with her guitar…you know she probably had sex with to make money back when she was “living in the car”….before becoming a multi millionaire…

A video posted by Jewel (@jewel) on

Just to remind yourself that nothing has changed and you’re still a fucking loser…

TO SEE HER MOM TITS AT AN EVENT:
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jewel|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Pam Anderson is Hep C Free – Now We Can’t Make Fun of Dirty Pussy of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 11.41.41 AM

I am pretty sad to announce that Pam Anderson is officially cure of Hep C….a disease she got from fucking a lot of dirty rock and roll men..but that she pretends she got from a bad Tattoo…because it’s more wholesome to say their STD / STI was from a public toilet seat and not the fact that their genitals are a public toilet seat…

I am CURED!!! – I just found out #nomorehepc #thankyou #blessing #family #prayer #live I pray anyone living with Hep C can qualify or afford treatment. It will be more available soon. I know treatment is hard to get still..

I guess money can buy everything, even health….even in her old age….

So now, I guess I’ll have to find a new angle on Pam Anderson content, maybe laugh at her stupid clown tits, or the fact that she paved the way for sex tapes as a fellow Canadian and is patient zero, not that Pam Anderson matters or even exists anymore, and I’ve milked her hep harder than she’s ever milked anything…so I guess it was a good run….

Here’s some of her highlights…a little tribute to the hep pussy…with recent pics because I can’t find her old good stuff…and really why waste the time on that….now that she’s cure of Hep…

Posted in:Pamela Anderson|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Bieber Asked to Leave Restaurant Chair Flip and His Opinion of Kylie Jenner of the Day

Here’s what I call “BieberLivesMatter”…because repressed, oppressed, suppressed, like a black man in the deep south in the 50s, unable to enjoy a meal at some expensive restaurant, because the restaurant doesn’t like the crazy fans creating a security issue at their restaurant, because Bieber fans are fucking crazy, but unfortunately not crazy enough to kill him…

So instead of taking the news gracefully, like “oh you’re right I do but not killed off Justin Bieber dealing with his superstardom like an appreciative person…who is reasonable and gets that he sold his soul to the devil, his ass to Usher and that’s why he’s so fucking rich…

Either way, what a brat…I love this video…it’s jokes…

Bieber is also in Billboard and has a quote about Kylie Jenner…that makes no sense, but is still worth reading and thinking “what?”:


Look at her world: She has been living on TV since she was a kid. Every time she’s looking around she sees a camera, and that’s affecting how she’s thinking and how she’s perceiving people and why she has to do certain things … Situations that happen taint your mind, especially in this industry. Especially for girls.”

Here’s Kylie, because posts on Bieber is some faggot shit…

Posted in:Justin Bieber|Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Adjust Her Own Bra of the DAy

WRIST DEEP

Kim Kardashian doesn’t adjust her own bra herself anymore. She’s got someone for that because she’s just that useless. Just a pig, too rich and too lazy to do anything….unable to life a finger for anything, so lazy that she doesn’t even dress herself , probably doesn’t raise her prop / kid herself…and I’d be surprised if she even wipes her ass herself…you know just to feel all that money she whored herself in sex tapes to make…

The last time a man was wrist deep with this Kardashian wasn’t between her huge milk filled, fat, fake tits…but was in her asshole…

So I guess there are signs of her being more dignified….a lady…but not really, she’s disgusting..

Kim Kardashian also showed up to an event in a see through dress, sure she was wearing underwear under the see through dress, but she was still in a fucking see through dress…the beast is 7 months pregnant or some shit…never should a 7 month pregnant person, even if they are a pornstar turned reality star, rapper wife…no matter how fucking trashy, despite all their expensive things they are…

BONUS – Here’s 60% of the BOTOX supply of Los Angeles

BOTOX FULL

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|SFW

2015

06

Nov

January Jones – The Bathtub Series of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 7.45.36 PM

January Jones has a fetish…no, not getting knocked up by rich Hollywood execs who are likely married, that she pretends don’t exist, thanks to getting paid the fuck off and collecting a check…when he just expected her to get an abortion…but why get an abortion when you can get payroll for 18 years…

Her fetish is posting bathtub pics…3 in 3 days…

Weird, but not as weird as her kid will be when he grows up without a father…

I guess it was Botox day…or she was ovulating again…and felt like sharing…and all I can do is wonder what other sin goes on in her tub…other than sex and babies out of wedlock…there’s probably some masturbation using the showerhead…it’s a girl thing…

Everyone is a social media whore…

Posted in:January Jones|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Selena Gomez Tit vs Jennifer Lawrence Tit of the Day

Selena Gomez

These tits have nothing in common, other than that they are probably on Taylor Swift’s team of famous people who she invites into her house because she’s fucking creepy…

But they did both make an appearance last night…and I figured why bother writing some long winded nonsense on either of these overrated, overpaid, child stars who have won…when I can just say…here are some overrated, overpaid, child stars showing their tits…but not the way I generally like their tits…with nipple…especially Jennifer Lawrence, who in all her weird and awkward, knows how to take a hot nude selfie..she gets right into Character…while Selena GOmez only knows how to cry about Bieber and Chemotherapy…while pretending her tit enlargement is steroids from LUPUS…and not natural loveliness like the tits that redeemed Jennifer Lawrence…her tits..

TO SEE SELENA GOMEZ TIT CLICK HERE

J-Law-Side-Tit-3

TO SEE JENNIFER LAWRENCE TIT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Kylie Jenner has Broken Nail of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 12.55.08 PM

The funny thing about this fame whoring, weird body for a white girl, half naked girl who has been fucking older black guys since she was a tween, thanks to having terrible parents…and a terrible life…that is masked with money and things…living the American Dream by whoring herself….is that the biggest tragedy in her vain as fuck life..is her “broken nail”…

The good news is that when their empire collapses, this one is slated to be one of the first to go fucking insane, develop a drug addiction and die…

Because she doesn’t know a life before fame, TV, etc…and she grew up in the peak of their collective fame whoring..so the second their ship has sailed and people stop caring…she’s start acting up and falling apart..

I guess that will only happen when instagram fades…and new social media steps up….because as of now, she’s got millions of people she directly speaks to…and the max exodus of following her will never happen…but it’d be great to see it if they did…

I guess we’re stuck with these whores…..for now…but they will crack…I know it…they can’t keep them well behaved forever…they are spoiled brats and don’t think consequences, etiquette or anything but self interest…

Let’s just hope the tanturm / breakdown / crisis…comes with more nudity….

Like this Tit pic of average at best, but hugely famous, now a Victoria’s Secret runway walkng, Kendall tit…

Kendall-Tit

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Daisy Ridley is the New Star Wars Chick You’ll Be Obsessed with of the Day

Daisy-Ridley-HR-4

Daisy Ridley is the lottery winner, cast in the new Star Wars, that so many millions of nerds are freaking the fuck out about, buying pre-sale tickets to, because it’s fucking Star Wars people…and this is the female lead, who will never get much work beyond Star Wars, the brand is too fucking strong, but who needs work after that…she’ll have dudes sending her money, propositions, and marriage offers for the rest of her fucking life. Nerds, especially Star Wars nerds are resilient….they are focused…and they are often times socially awkward and obsessive…

So here’s what will be their new obsession….Daisy Ridley…in Hollywood Reporter…

Posted in:Daisy Ridley|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Julie Benz in a Bikini of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.19.56 PM

I don’t know who Julie Benz is. I just know she was on Dexter and more importantly Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and that’s the kind of show that creepy virgin loser dudes were absolutely obsessed with…meaning this Julie Benz, now well into her 40s, is the other Sara Michelle Gellar…that I guess in nerd chatrooms got drafted for fantasy marriages in the nerd fantasy marriage leagues because she wasn’t always 40 and didn’t always look like she was 40…

Not that her being 40 will deter any of her fans…her fans or Buffy fans are still obsessed with the show, they still have the box set on their nerd shelf…and one unopened in their nerd vault, because nerds…

Meaning this chick has made so many dudes jerk off…some dudes think they are married to her…and other dudes dream of marrying her…because people, especailly Buffy Fans are fucking weird…

HEre’s the bikini pics..

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 12.32.35 PM

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Julie Benz|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Christina Milian Keeps Reaching of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.02.34 PM

Christina Milian has a new album…

This is what rich people do when they are bored…

They revisit what I guess they think their passion is….and what made them relevant enough to fuck the right people, make babies with the right people, and divorce the right people, after getting writing credits on some massive fucking songs the right people produced…meaning getting paid for the rest of her life..

This is like a retired woman taking up knitting, or starting up an Etsy or Ebay jewelry business, where she could make money off it, but is really just doing it for the love and to pass the time. She has a pension..it’s unnecessary to actually spend her day doing it…but why the fuck not…

Only with more fame-whoring, attention craving, and tit…

Milian….wants you to jerk off to her like she was still 19….It’s some kind of midlife crisis…that is working, because I remember a year ago, she had less than 100,000 instagram followers even with being on The Voice…and now she’s on the map again….thanks to a deep rooted knowledge of proper slutting

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PIC CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Social Media of the DAy

@devwindsor @barbarafialho1 fittings 2015. #devonwindsor #barbarafialho #fittings #victoriassecret #vsfsupdates2015 #vsfashionshow

A video posted by Victoria's Secret Brasil (@victoriassecretoficialbrasil) on

Vitoria’s Secret is pushing their fashion show on social media…to generate the first round of buzz before the televised event that I call their hugely successful infomercial..every Holiday season, the people who watch TV, get very excited about a brand that sells them garbage and a dream…while making them feel insecure..

So first wave is announcing the cast. Second wave is social media prep for the filming of the show, which takes place November 9, then they’ll release all the VIP red carpet pics…of the filming of the event…then they’ll release all the pics from the event…so that by black Friday…people are ready to buy their nonsense…and by TV air date..people are just fucking cumming VS….

It’s a scam that works…

Here are a few of them doing fitness before the show…even though we all know they are actually just starving themselve before the show…who are they trying to fool into thinking these girls are about health and fitness…when clearly they are into starving, being skinny and fucking rich dudes…

Here’s some other model babe who I’ve never heard of who got cast…I like this one….she’s good…

A video posted by Daniela Braga (@bragadany) on

47c65baace6e4575b0b4d2b6d202f97e

Here’s Elsa Hosk in Catalog Pics – Bound CLICK HERE

Here’s Candice Swanepoel in Catalog Pics CLICK HERE

Here’s Monika Jagaciak in Catalog Pics CLICK HERE

Here’s Lily Aldridge at some Fantasy Bra Event CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Victoria's Secret

2015

06

Nov

Carly Baker is Some UFC Ring Girl in FHM of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.13.46 PM

I don’t watch UFC, but I assume this Carly Baker chick is the replacement of the other blonde one that got beat the fuck up by her boyfriend…

UFC, like Ed Hardy, RIP CHRISTIAN AUDIGIER – THE GOD OF THE CHEESE DICKS….is designed or crafted for cheese dicks and trailer trash….

And the girls they use in their promo videos, like WWF, are these trashy stripper looking bitches, with fake tits, fake lips, and tight bodies, because it’s a sporting event…

I am not against any one, even if I hate everyone, I always support sluts and what look like Vegas hookers who find a marketable angle…whether that angle is being the jerk off material to a testosterone filled sport that is followed by pretty alpha hetero anti-gay dudes…who get excited watching dudes half nakedly wrestle each other…so throw in the tits to give focus to the boner or some shit…

Either way, Carly Baker.

Posted in:Carly Baker|SFW