SFW Archives - Page 48 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

26

Dec

Kimberley Garner Christmas Lingerie of the Day

Kimberley Garner isn’t very famous and when I’ve posted her over the years people really didn’t care….let’s just say no servers were crashed with her hot ass…but I was always a believer and I felt that there are far uglier equally useless barely reality stores out there getting paid and living under the illusion of being relevant…and I knew this one would keep bringing it until more and more people notice….now I know she’s still not famous, still doesn’t matter, still doesn’t PUSH or CONVERT traffic like all my other posts I’ve analyzed the analytics so deeply on….you know not at all…I don’t even check the site stats…I don’t need google to tell me I’m a fucking loser….or that Kim Garner is a loser considering how hot her ass is…but I do appreciate her Christmas Spirit, despite Christmas being over…because being over doesn’t thwart this one…

Check it out bro..

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Posted in:Kimberley Garner|SFW

2019

24

Dec

Chanel West Coast Christmas Erotica of the Day

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It’s Christmas Eve and I’m holy fucking jolly fucking Christmassing around the Christmas tree in a cabin in the woods with no internet (or running water).

Luckily, I cued up this Christmas miracle no one actually gives a fuck about as a backup in case there wasn’t internet at these French Fuck’s Christmas Eve event…you know to represent how irrelevant this site is in 2019 with the most irrelevant…Chanel Westcoast…from MTV 15 years ago…still out here being a whore for Santa…

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Posted in:Chanel West Coast|SFW

2019

23

Dec

Bella Thorne Finally Takes a Shower of the Day

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Bella Thorne typically looks like a greasy dirty stinky pile of shit that was shat out by Disney and refuses to wash off that trauma…and likes celebrating that Trauma with her silly internet behavior…doing that whole influencer thing…with her tits out…which I am into…despite finding her gross…

But as it turns out…apparently….at least according to this video…she showers.

That’s enough of that.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2019

23

Dec

Gisele Bundchen Tits Out for Fashion of the Day

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Gisele was a big part of my Saturday night Christmas party, because I was talking to a Patriots fan, which always makes me laugh because I feel you need to either be from Boston / New Hampshire to like the Patriots, or you just don’t know anything about Football but know that they are the winning team. You know not very exciting to be the fan of a team that has won way too many times…but I know NOTHING about sports, or football or any of that…so to me it’s more about Gisele….which is why Gisele was a big part of my Saturday Christmas party night.

I was pitching aggressively on her having a dick….you know busting jokes about busting her balls…literally…because the Patriots fan and his Tom Brady cocky fan boy support..talking about how Great Tom Brady is…and how hot Gisele is…and how much she gets paid and how they are winners on all fronts…and didn’t like me going on and on about how they found her in Brazil playing soccer in the poor neighborhood and sold her to Victoria’s Secret perverts at a young age…taking her away from her family but never taking away her dick…

Well here she is doing some photoshoot for you perverts.

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Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|SFW

2019

23

Dec

Rita Ora Shitty Tattoos Getting Wet of the Day

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Rita Ora may be the celebrity we’ve all heard of but have no idea what her deal is. One of those always around like Phoebe Price but you can’t actually pinpoint why. She’s a master of being at the right place, getting in the paparazzi and dating strategically to “matter”…you know so that people will record her music, and promote her music and she’ll be a “popstar” she always wanted to be.

It’s an interesting dynamic, but that whole “It’s an overnight success that took 15 years”….because she’s put in work…and whether she’s relevant or not, or her tactics were desperate or now, she’s got an awesome set of tits and that’s all that really matters at least to me…because I just listen to old country music, if I even listen to music. I prefer staring at the wall.

POINT being, my version or idea of “respectable” celebrity means nothing…so we should just watch the hot tits on vacation living a better life than us…cuz we aren’t hot tits.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2019

23

Dec

Sofia Jamora Ratchet Lingerie of the Day

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Sofia Jamora’s last name is really Ratchet, but it should be…

That’s about all I have to say about that.

It’s Christmas, the time of good will towards men and my gift to you is not making dumb jokes about things that don’t matter….like Sofia Jamora Ratchet…

Right.

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Posted in:SFW|Sofia Jamora

2019

20

Dec

Sydney Sweeney In a Short Dress of the Day

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Sydney Sweeney is doing good with her celebrity that has come in the form of being the big tits on a skinny frame on EUPHORIA….there was a time she was in a bunch of major shows that no one really bothered noticing her in….cuz she kept the monster tits hidden…but HBO came through for her and brought her the best possible venue to show off her big tits and now she’s got her millions or 1.1 MILLION followers…following her…and this is the kind of content she’s out there producing…the RIGHT kind of content.

The big tragedy in Sydney Sweeney is that she was in Montreal filming what we can assume was a very shit movie….which is where I LIVE…and I even knew what hotel she was at thanks to social media posts but my inability to leave my house because I don’t actually care….got in the way of me throwing my sperm on her as she walked by me in the lobby to get into her car taking her to set…because throwing sperm on ladies is how you show them you like them..

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Posted in:SFW|Sydney Sweeney

2019

20

Dec

Candice Swanepoel Topless of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is looking good for some old washed up model that is barely 30….but who you think is 75 because she’s been around doing the same fucking thing for so fucking long it’s almost crazy..

A straight from South Africa, beat all odds of dying from AIDS in an era when AIDS was a death sentence, only to come to AMERICA to be the panty promo model that DREAMS are made of…still in her panties because it is all she knows…all she does…and still looks fucking good enough at it to keep it up.

Just because I find her old and boring and I seek the new and the hotter…doesn’t mean she’s not an ass worth staring at!

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Posted in:Candice Swanepeol|SFW

2019

20

Dec

Dakota Fanning Nude of the Day

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Dakota Fanning with the nudity for the holidays…a little G-String while applying make-up in the sink because you are high concept thanks to your parents selling you off as a child and forcing you to live in a fucking aquarium…with people trying to grab at you from every fucking angle because you are DAKOTA FANNING but thanks to the brilliance of the people at INSTAGRAM…she can define her own content…and block out anything good with an emoji like her parents blocked out anything good from her childhood with stardom….

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Posted in:Dakota Fanning|SFW

2019

20

Dec

Kara Del Toro Tits of the Day

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Kara Del Toro is not Benecio Del Toros daughter but I wish she was….because it would make her shameless seem less desperate and more authentic to who she is because Benecio Del Toro’s daughter, like Johnny Depp’s daughter, don’t need to be naked on the instagram unless they are just exhibitionists who get off to it like all girls do….you know so her nudity is just pure and without any attached expectations, or ulterior motives….like increasing reach, followers, impressions, etc…to secure brand deals, celebrity status, rich cock, etc….where’s the nudity for the sake of nudity. I know these girls cry “sex positivity” and shit…but they don’t fucking mean it…they mean “I’m getting naked for attention cuz I need this for my career so I’ll just say it’s about some other shit like loving myself or loving the woman form”….you only get that pure natural slutty when bitch is already where she needs to be….while Kara is on some kind of mission…that no one really knows but tits are always ok.

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Posted in:Kara Del Toro|SFW

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