SFW Archives - Page 47 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

27

Dec

Emily Alyn Lind Titty Top of the Day

Emily Alyn Lind is doing some weird twerk pose you see all the girls do because they are making fun of black girls. You know the half squat ass out stripper move you’ve grown up watching at the strip club. I don’t know when it became a mainstream pose for instagram but these young 18 year olds are all fucked up growing up on porn…they have a distorted idea of sex and sexuality…and would probably pose like this in family photos while grandma is nodding off in the corner. Amazing. Right.

I like the captain or train conductor hat, it gives me some flashbacks of the World War II, that her generation doesn’t even know happened….or maybe just some Berliner sex dungeon where I’m about to get dominated…always a good time.

She is an 18 year old actress. Her dad is a producer, her sisters are actors, she’s been on a bunch of shows I’ve never seen, her mom is the mom in Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and you’ll likely want to bone her.

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Posted in:emily alyn lind|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Helena Christensen Ice Water Jump of the Day

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Helena Christensen is a 51 year old Danish model who may or may not be at home in Copenhagen for the holidays doing some WIM HOFF METHOD of jumping into freezing waters for weird techniques in longevity. You know to get all her modelling cocaine / Heroin damage all healed now that she’s old as fuck.

You probably remember her from doing work for Victoria’s Secret after winning MISS UNIVERSE DENMARK at 17 in 1986….you perverts….and has been around ever since.

She dated INXS singer Michael Hutchence for 5 years and that dude died jerking off while choking himself out, the most dignified way to die…so you know she fucks good….then she had a kid with Norman Reedus….so you know she takes loads up inside her…now better than then because of the whole menopause thing.

I don’t know if this jumping in cold water is really a fetish, but I assume it is to you Joe Rogan listening bros who are practicing this at home so you can talk to each other about it over text message as you try to reach your higher level of consciousness…losers.

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Posted in:Helena Christensen|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Nikki Bella Got No Panties On of the Day

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I barely know who Nikki Bella is but I do know she had an epic Nip Slip on Instagram that we posted HERE. Now she’s in some magazine with her sister (I assume)

Anything to relive that glorious nip slip, because you can make a slut look like she’s in a Hallmark Channel movie, or a J.Crew catalog, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a slut who likes to pull her titties out…which makes her a friend of my site who probably not a friend of the site at all…because she doesn’t know we exist…and in an era of everyone getting their 15 mins, even Nikki Bella, it’s nice to be invisible so that we can call whores whores in peace.

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Posted in:Nikki Bella|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Brooke Burke Christmas Bikini of the Day

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Brooke Burke out here showing off her 50 year old mom of 12 but addicted to fitness body to remind you all that there is such thing as working out too hard, especially as your body is losing estrogen due to being fucking old and broken down, because this musculature is terrifying.

She’s got no waist to hip ratio, STRAIGHT UP MENOPAUSE…and these weird soggy tits that make little to no sense to me because she’s one of those bolt on tits from the 90s, when bolt on tits were a thing..but now she’s just creepy.

I am sure other aging women look at her as some sort of mentor or inspiration, cuz they are fat. Inspired by her being rich and able to workout all day when she’s not out there starving herself all day, cuz being thin and hot is all she knows from being in Playboy and only existing because of Playboy.

I can’t hate on it too hard, because the body may scare the fuck out of me like some zombie fucking apocolaypse the Christmas edition…but it’s better that the 300 pounders I see in line at Walmart who are likely her same age with less kids.

I don’t really like what’s going on here, looking a bit masculine but it could be worse….

To See the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Brooke Burke|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Bella Thorne Christmas Nipples of the Day

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There’s just something about Bella Thorne that I find interesting enough to put up here and that’s her tits that Disney bought her.

I don’t find her hot, or interesting, or fun and that could just be because I am an old disconnected fuck….but I do think her being slutty on social media like some low level influencer despite being a Disney Kid is funny. It’s like all the celebs saw the influencers stealing their money so they analyzed the basic techniques of the influencer to do better at influencing than they do because they are trained Disney kids…sexualizing herself the way the Disney Execs trained her.

Bella Thorne out here flashing tit, not for the first time, because she’s a liberated or broken woman who likes people starring at her tits cuz it reminds her that she’s relevant….which probably doesn’t take too much but that I’m not able to figure out…so instead I just look and judge young starlets and their tits.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Bella Hadid Bra and Panties of the Day

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I think they people should come together and boycott Calvin Klien for using Bella Hadid in their campaign.

I get it, the world is now trans friendly, and trans positive, as they fight transphobia…but this isn’t a request to boycott Calvin Klein for using a tranny in their campaign…I’m as trans positive as you can be if you’re a rational thinking human who doesn’t care what people identify as.

I just don’t think we should be celebrating useless trash unless it’s actually hot, just because it is rich and has rich parents and grew up in rich neighborhoods, with other rich kids the internet seems to assume is important despite being useless and really only rich.

I don’t know who decided that her skeletor face was hot, but we can assume it is all those Marvel comic book fans getting confused about what good content is and what hot chicks are. With all the birth control in the water, it only makes sense that ya’ll are a bunch of bitches slowly getting more and more into dudes…hence this dude’s fame as a model.

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Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Bebe Rexha Christmas Tits of the Day

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40 year old Bebe Rexha, who decided to take advantage of fat and the body positive, no body shaming trend and became a popstar.

Instead of being laughed off the stage like she was probably supposed to be, or would have been back at the local open mic or Karaoke before becoming famous if she hadn’t already been an accomplished songwriter of her own.

Is out here dancing on stage and not even ironically, like legit doing her best fat old lady popstar impression while the audience embraces it and loves it and buys into it…because people aren’t mean anymore…and I guess have no taste anymore.

So despite being old and fat, thanks to being empowered….she’s taking slutty selfies, with her fat tits out because with fat comes tits….and I’m sure all she’s thinking about is “Where’s the Fruitcake, Yule Log, Shortbread, Gingerbread, boxed chocolates, etc”….get this bitch some food before she eats the fucking tree.

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Posted in:Bebe Rexha|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Olivia Munn Hard Nipples of the Day

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Olivia Munn is some dog shit scam that has manipulated nudes everywhere, and since I am like Jesus Martinez to the nerds or at least the guy in high school who helps the socially awkward nerd get laid, because women are easy to manipulate into sex if you know what you are doing….and it doesn’t take much to know what you are doing….and if you’re wondering what I mean, it’s that the only people coming to this site are nerds looking for tits and I’m the one posting the tits…so I’m on your side, not Olivia Munn’s side….she angled or gamed the nerds for her personal gain and that’s fucking rude…but she’s got tits, with hard nipples and they should all be looked at and appreciated equally, despite the trash they are attached to.

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Posted in:Olivia Munn|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Rumer Willis Titty Shake of the Day

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Rumer Willis understands the crop.

She’s got tits, she’s got an ass, she works out, because there isn’t much else for her to do being a socialite with a trust fund that never has to worry about money or going broke….

But she’s also got a face that even with the face injections is either too much like biological Demi Moore, before the millions of dollars of surgery created the Demi Moore you know…or it could be too much Bruce because the face of a man on a woman is always weird…even with all this tranny porn ya’ll jerk off to…and all this gender reassignment you all buy into….whether it’s just pervert dudes figuring out the loophole to get into the women’s locker room…still weird…

What I am trying to say is that I am a big fan of celebrity kids, even the butter faces…cuz you don’t need a face to want to fuck…I’m sure many a decapitated women have been fucked…or less creepy true crime story….many an ugly hot bodied women fucked from behind, in the dark, or in some sort of costume that comes with a mask….like Arabian nights, or furry or what the fuck ever you want….or you can just watch the titty bounce, which is what I’m doing.

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Posted in:Rumer Willis|SFW

2019

26

Dec

Willa Holland Nude of the Day

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Remember when Willa Holland’s MOM sucked Brian De Palma’s dick so that her daughter could get into Hollywood because she’s a degenerate whore who hates men yet relies on them to feed her family and make her slutty daughter a star but then gets offended when her daughters slutty photos get circulated on the INTERNET?

If you don’t know the story because you don’t care about me as deeply as you should, I didn’t get any Christmas cards so I assume you don’t care about me the way you should, or Christmas MONEY despite knowing I want money….you won’t know that her mom is the reason I got deleted off twitter…

After what must be a 10 year or more run with my original @drunkstepfather, this past spring I posted something on Willa Holland being Brian De Palma’s slutty stepdaughter and it was a KIND hearted post…yet the mom, who was obviously a groupie fuck who ended up with Brian De Palma, told me off, reported me…and TWITTER ended….because the media connected will always beat the guy no one knows exists with the blog…

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