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Archive for the SFW Category

2019

04

Dec

Nina Agdal Better with a Mask of the Day

Nina Agdal Better with a Mask

Nina Agdal is out here bringing the Christmas spirit in a thong panty set to show off her hot body to her fans and hopefully find relevance again now that she’s old table scraps Leo DiCaprio left in his private jet a few years ago…..

The best thing about this video is that she is wearing a mask, because SHE KNOWS what we know…and that is that she’s a butterface…Use the mask so that you don’t get distracted by her retard face….and the mask is all Christmas themed which makes it better for all of us in that Christmas spirit but also better for her than the paperbag her butter face is used to…you know more light hearted and festive…here’s to hot bodies with ugly faces taking charge for the Holiday season.

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Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2019

04

Dec

Stella Hudgens Possible Titty Scar of the Day

If you know me, and you don’t, than you know I have a sister fetish, but not that incest fetish that is all over the porn sites, like we are living in the 70s and TABOO artistic pornography is still a thing, even though I used to watch incest porn in the 80s when I was growing up, for the comedic aspect…it always made me laugh….my sister fetish is more one of wanting to fuck the sisters of the girls I am fucking because I typically end up with the ugly duckling who is more open to my 15 dollar blowjob offer because she has a deep rooted complex of being the ugly sister…

Stella Hudgens is not necessarily the ugly sister in the HUDGENS house, I think she’s got more sex appeal than her early to get naked in a hairy cellphone selfie sext, but that could just be because she’s got the bigger tits….

If anything Stella Hudgens is the clever sister who gets to ride her sister’s name and accomplishments, without having any real job or responsibilities, just sort of mooching off her sister, in a “Famous Relative Check” for TikTok and that alone gives her a level of celebrity…the celebrity for being a celebrities sister…who gets all the celebrity perks without having to work…leaving her ample time to show off her tits. AWESOME.

I don’t know if that is a titty scar, a breast implant scar, I just know it’s a slutty selfie and that’s all that matters.

Posted in:SFW|Stella Hudgens

2019

04

Dec

Sadie Robertson – Duck Dynasty Bikini of the Day

I don’t watch TV. I do stream Christmas movies on stolen accounts though. You know just doing my part to get into the HOLIDAY SPIRIT which despite how angry, annoyed, cynical, bitter, resentful, full of rage I may be….I fucking love Christmas…

So I don’t watch DUCK DYNASTY…but I know that this site appeals to lowest form of trash in their 40s and 50s because young people don’t do websites or find my commentary ironic, interesting, or funny….and I guess either do you creeps….you’re just here for the tits…so I should stop writing now…

But before I do…I want to say that this Sadie Robertson is the trashy white girl you’d want to drink a beer with while fishing in a creek behind your trailer park home…hou know that kind of white girl you’d expect to work the local drinking hole….that’s how they position her, so the audience watching gets excited there’s pussy on the show, and here she is positioned in a bikini for you to jack off to…cuz trashy basic white girls love the beach…whether they are on reality shows or not…they love cheesy resorts…they living their best life drinking their shitty cocktails…and eating resort quesadillas…white people…ya know…

Posted in:Sadie Robertson|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Britney Spears Wet Bikini of the Day

Britney Spears Wet Bikini

It’s Britney’s Birthday Bitches….at least that is what her instagram caption read from MIAMI where she’s out in her bikini celebrating her birthday….because I guess her handlers let her out of their captivity cage…thanks to all the negative hype the protestors and activists of instagram and all social media finally got around to protesting….they were too busy with Black Lives Matters, Oscars too White, MeToo, Trump, Cultural Appropriation, Trans Rights who fucking cares what else…the point is that they were too busy to see that Britney was abducted in plain site, forced into slave labor for her family, to get them all paid by keeping the meal ticket that is Britney Spears alive and performing….and because of the glitz and glam of Britney Spears they forgot that she was there against her own will, not allowed to control her stupid amounts of money they’ve made off her, the whole thing pretty terrible…but nothing a bikini pic of the 39 or 40 year old in a bikini….all thick and middle aged….which may not be Britney of the NOT THAT INNOCENT era..but is still Britney Spears…the longest standing / laying / sitting star of that era…..who is still a star, out here performing in her bikini for all you perverts to celebrate another year of life in a cage….while wearing a bikini….did I mention BIKINI?


Britney Spears Wet Bikini

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Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2019

03

Dec

All the Tits at The Fashion Awards of the Day

An event happened and a bunch of sluts came out for it…there’s nothing like an event built around “fashion” to bring out the sluts…it is positioned as exclusive, or LUXURIOUS and high end, over priced shit marketed to idiots into thinking it is luxury…

That is enough to get enough vaginas lubricated enough to want to associate themselves with it…you know an excuse to dress up nice, walk a red carpet for the paparazzi, have people comment on their outfits…I mean it is the “fashion awards”…and be a part of this exclusive and luxurious awards that actually mean shit…

If you want to be relevant…you gotta bring your tits out to dumb things and be seen….and these are those tits buying into bullshit hype that is ruining society unless you’re like me and appreciate girls who want expensive things when not willing to work for those things…as it breeds prostitution and we love prostitution.

Highlight of the event – ELSA HOSK.

Stella Maxwell
Fashion Awards Stella Maxwell

Shailene Woodley
Fashion Awards Shailene Woodley 2

Sara Sampaio
Fashion Awards Sara Sampaio

Rosie Huntington Whiteley
Fashion Awards Rosie Huntington Whiteley

Rita Ora
Fashion Awards Rita Ora

Rihanna
Fashion Awards Rihanna

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Olivia Culpo
Fashion Awards Olivia Culpo

Nicole Scherzinger
Fashion Awards Nicole Scherzinger

Nathalie Emmanuel
Fashion Awards Nathalie Emmanuel

Lottie Moss
Fashion Awards Lottie Moss

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Lily James
Fashion Awards Lily James

Kylie Minogue
Fashion Awards Kylie Minogue

Jessica Barden
Fashion Awards Jessica Barden

Irina Shayk
Fashion Awards Irina Shayk

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Emma Roberts
Fashion Awards Emma Roberts

Emilia Clarke
Fashion Awards Emilia Clarke

Elsa Hosk
Fashion Awards Elsa Hosk

Ellie Goulding
Fashion Awards Ellie Goulding

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Eleanor Tomlinson
Fashion Awards Eleanor Tomlinson

Charli XCX
Fashion Awards Charli XCX

Cate Blanchett
Fashion Awards Cate Blanchett

Bella Thorne
Fashion Awards Bella Thorne

Barbara Palvin
Fashion Awards Barbara Palvin

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Posted in:Feature|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Kate Beckinsale Hot Old Lady in a Bikini of the Day

Kate Beckinsale is a hot old lady, but you already know that…so I’m just here to be like the kids she fucks, because she likes fucking young dudes to steal their youth through her barren menopausal cunt, despite being a fucking BOOMER with a standardized TikTok caption /concept that may ore may not be a thing but should be a thing cuz I’ve seen them do it with “Rich Girl Checks”, “Famous Relative Checks” so why not a “HOT OLD LADY IN A BIKINI CHECK” cuz this is a hot old lady in a bikini….CHECK…

Enough of this nonsense, Kate Beckinsale has never made sense, and still doesn’t make sense…because she’s hot and remains hot…all these years later…on some vampire shit her predominately nerd fans probably fucking LOVE…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Ariel Winter is Riding Some Garlic of the Day

Ariel Winter wore some see through shirt / bra top outfit to some dumb activation or experience that people put together for marketing hype…because people need thing to do, things to instagram, so smarter people put together these idiotic exhibits that really don’t matter, as some massive photo op, with an element of FOMO if you don’t get your selfie at the place, so all these assholes line up like it was a pink wall with a set of wings on it, for their pic…after paying a 20 dollar entry fee. It is crazy…they had one for Ice Cream, one for Saved by the Bell, one for some other shit that doesn’t matter…you get the idea…a Giant Garlic, some Pool Noodles, and a giant martini glass…high concept you fucking bootleg EXPERIENCE bullshit…my pervert neighbor does a more believable experience in his basement haunted house…you lazy fucks.

I assume Ariel Winter was paid to be there, you know to start the momentum on the dumb fucking exhibit….you need influencers there to get it off the ground and to make it a viral thing….but she probably would have done it for free, since it is about her one true love…FOOD.

The troll, who has lost weight thanks to medication according to her….is still a fat chick in spirit….and ultimately…that weight loss makes her better to look at….so long as you don’t state at her neckless face…it’s terrifying…but if she doesn’t kill herself thanks to being sold by her parents and robbed of a childhood and all that standard child star shit, she’ll have a lasting career in horror movies as the villain…RIGHT…good one RIGHT…RIGHT…fuck off.

Anyway, here she is riding a fucking Garlic like some Italian chef’s wet dream since she looks like his fuckign NONYA…

This whole thing is weird.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Chantel Jeffries Bikini Instagram Whore of the Day

Chantel Jeffries is some hooker from social media who was lucky enough to get in on it early, to post enough pics of her ass when it was more of a rarity for girls to be slutty on instagram than it is today, you know when only a handful of girls who were by no means innovative or leaders or visionaries…but rather just naturally inclined to use their asses to get ahead in life so why wouldn’t they bring that to INSTAGRAM…only to have viral pics with every pic cuz people like slutty content…only to make a name for themselves, get brand deals and in Chantel Jeffries case fuck Bieber…get arrested with Bieber…end up in the news with Bieber…paving the way for her to fuck rappers and athletes of all denominations…cuz she was on the map, had status, living that IG model life…and all it took was half naked selfies…SOMETHING girls were doing for free, giving away for free but weren’t slutty enough to do on a bigger platform when no one else was doing it…so they didn’t get this Chantel Jeffries life…

ANYWAY…she’s in Miami, in a Bikini, and in the Paparazzi cuz she has been around long enough, probably considered a senior or old in the IG model life, but she officially matters now and this is her mattering…

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Posted in:Chantel Jeffries|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Olivia Wilde Hot in a Creepy Titty Dress of the Day

This looks like pyjamas from an 1800s ghost story, which should be porn to you….but it also looks like a night gown your granny would have word in the 70s, which shouldn’t be porn to you, but probably is, since no one’s got a cookie like granny’s cookie, a cookie she taught you how to eat when you were just a teenager, because she had been a widow who lived alone for 20 years and it just made sense when young masculine energy entered, to fully take advantage of the situation…..I guess it also looks like a wedding dress, something you’d find in a period piece…

The problem is that you can’t actually see her tits, which defeats the purpose of wearing a slutty vintage looking historical night gown in public….but Olivia Cockburn, who goes by WILDE for obvious reasons, is still hot to me…so even just a sliver of tit is enough tit…better than no tit…TIT…

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Posted in:Olivia Cockburn|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Jewel Big Titties in a Swimsuit of the Day

Jewel’s hands may have been made small but her tits are big…in the event that you aren’t a 50 year old lesbian…Jewel, who was an iconic voice of women in the 90s, she was on every single WOMEN IN SONG CD, had a song called HANDS…and the lyric was her hands were made small…which is so fucking clever of me to reference cuz her tits are big…

But you already knew that, we’ve been around Jewel’s tits for 25 fucking years and we know what they are about, and clearly she’s out here trying to remind us…

You can save your soul…by not listening to Jewel’s music….but it can be a great reminder of 1995, when you were just a loser in High School, jerking off to her tits or maybe her songs….like you were some record exec who gave her a storyline that she lived in her car before becoming a huge success as a coffee shop poet…which I guess was a thing in the 90s…when Starbucks was starting up….or the record exec who found her in her car and offered her a warm shower and a record deal for a fuck…

EIther way, she’s still around….and these are her tits in selfie.

Posted in:Jewel|SFW