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Archive for the SFW Category

2019

03

Dec

Jessica Alba Looking Like She Grabbing her Pussy of the Day

If you look at these pics from afar, and you should, because Alba’s hands look old and scary as shit, because she is old and they don’t have a solid FACE INJECTION solution to make hands look as youthful and stretched out as faces, or if they do, Alba hasn’t bought into it yet…..despite EVERYONE knowing NECK and HANDS is the way to age a woman, like cutting a tree in half and counting the rings….if you know what i mean…

But if you look at these pics from afar, it looks like the aged Alba billionaire e-commerce celebrity, is on the side of the road giving herself a hunched over diddle cuz she just got that itch…or because someone punched her in the stomach…or because her old tired uterus is having some pre-menopause convulsions….or because she’s about the throw up….

Sure she’s really just looking at her tire with an ipad in hand but WHERE is the fun in that…the side of the road pervert diddler diddling herself is a better NARRATIVE….

I need to use the world NARRATIVE more often.

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Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2019

03

Dec

Kira Korsarin Bikini of the Day

Kira Korsarin is a Nickeloden child star but you already knew that you sick fuck…

Like all child stars, she’s now 22, so not too young to jerk off to, because age is not just a number, it’s a fucking law you sick fuck….and she posts up smutty content for her millions of fans in efforts to get millions of more fans…since it pays to have fans…

I mean she started out on TV, she should theoretically be more relevant than all those IG sluts out here doing the same thing as her…she’s got a YOUTUBE where she does cover songs, I guess she can sing, like all Child actors sold to the industry, which I guess turned into a music career, having launched her first album…since music fucking pays, just ask DIPLO, while acting pays far less….and I guess this is her promoting her garbage…tits out…which is apparently something she does on the regular as she tries to establish herself…as she fucking should..

Posted in:Kira Korsarin|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Top 10 Girls to Masturbate to using AUTOBLOW of the Day

Autoblow A.I. is the world’s most advanced blowjob machine. It has 10 unique blowjob experiences at 10 different speeds, and one of the modes delivers a different blowjob every time it is selected so you get a surprise simulated blowjob…better than the real thing…

Why is it better than the real thing?

1- You’re unable to get girls to suck your dick for whatever reason (you’re a loser, gross, they don’t respect you, you’re awkward, you have a stinky dick, I don’t fucking know, look into the mirror or the front facing selfie cam and ask yourself “why don’t girls suck my dick” and that is your answer to why this is better than the real thing.

2- Even when you do get the real thing, which is usually accidental or when the stars align, you get too excited, too attached and it scares the girls off so they never try it again…

3- you are married and bored of the real thing, like your wife will suck your dick to do her wife duty, but she is old and smells like mothballs and you stopped being attracted to her the day after you married her but you are a good dude, maybe even a Christian who doesn’t believe on cheating on your wife, she’s been so loyal, you’ve built a life together, so it’s better than fucking other inanimate objects you’ve put your dick in over the years – like that poor cantalope. IT IS NOT CHEATING….

4- you accidentally broke your girlfriend’s jaw when she “FELL DOWN THE STAIRS”….and you have 6-8 weeks off getting your dick sucked…

5- You are too broke or too into porno to get an actual girl who meets your needs, so you can’t afford to take the fat girl you can get on a date, and even if you can, you can’t get hard when she offers to suck your dick, as if any girl ever offers to suck your dick, but you get what I am saying and that is that this fucking thing
sucks your dick on command…….you’ll never find a woman to do that to you….ever…

If those aren’t enough reasons….remember a team of scientists used machine learning to study blowjob videos to, for the first time, truly understand the mechanics of blowjobs. The results of the study were programmed into the device so that you can experience blowjobs the same way they are given in real life.

It has a built in gripper gently grips your penis and pulls a 100% silicone sleeve up and down over it, replicating the gliding and sliding action of a wet hand and mouth. It even “edges” you…. GET YOURS NOW

Women have their 1000s of varieties of VIBRATORS, DILDOS (which can be anything that fits) and that shit is celebrated….be an EMPOWERED man and have a sex toy of your own…plus it is easy to clean (as gross as that was to type, a good feature to have for those CREAMPIE MOMENTS)….

It is hassle free on every level…no complaining, no saying no, no asking for kids, no disappointed in your performance, or in you as a person, no abuse or judgement from anyone unless they find it on your coffee table when they find you dead after letting it fuck you all night long…but you’ll be dead and no one seemed to care when Anthony Burdain died jerking off….so why the fuck would they care about you when you die jerking off…that man had a popular show you know…and you got nothing, until you GET YOUR AUTOBLOW …at which point you’ll have EVERYTHING YOU NEED.

HERE ARE THE top 10 Girls to Masturbate to:

1 – @KATEKIRIENKO KATEKIRIENKO 3


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

2 – @CINDYMELLO
CINDYMELLO 1


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

3 – @GUBERNATAR
gubernatar 1


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

4 – @BELLAMICHLO
BELLAMICHLO 1


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

5 – @LINK_PINK1
LINKPINK 2


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

6 @FELLTHEBODY_
FELLTHEBODY 1


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

7 – @LILYERMAK
LILYERMAK 3


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

8 – @KOLESNIKOVA.33



GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

9 – @EVAPADLOCK
EVAPADLOCK 2


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

10 – @STEPHANIEFITMARIE
STEPHANIEFITMARIE 1
STEPHANIEFITMARIE 2
STEPHANIEFITMARIE 2


GET YOUR AUTOBLOW NOW! IT WILL MAKE JERKING OFF BETTER

Posted in:Featured Post|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Bella Thorne TikTHOT of the Day

Bella Thorne TikThot

Bella Thorne is on TIKTOK…good thing the selling of her soul to the media empire that is Disney isn’t being wasted and she can put those skills to use in weird slutty dance videos for CHINESE GOVERNMENT to track EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN’s every move….

Bella Thorne, the Disney kid, who was originally trained by her whore mother on how to whore herself out to the Disney Execs, who sold her off to Disney, who then trained her to manipulate the audience as a performer…I mean it is Disney, they know content.

So now she knows how to follow the crowds, use her celebrity to compel the crowds into her bullshit hype, and has a base level of skill to sing / dance / perform on camera….

So thank to TIKTOK she can do it with her dancing…because that’s basically 80 percent of what people do on TIKTOK< only she'll do it better because she's Disney TRAINED and all Disney Kids know how to dance, it is part of their Disney Kid training camp they are put through after their parents choose fame and money over mental health.... you know where they are cultivated and refined to be the best damn performers they can be, all at the hands of perverted fucking execs who like to be around kids who dance....now while CHINA tracks her and her fans every fucking move... She looks rough, she looks dirty, she looks diseased, she looks wrecked, she looks like she smells, her dancing looks stupid, but a new platform for girls to shake their tits...works for me....

I think this guy is the best reaction to her Disney Kid Sold by her Parents Performance

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Kate Beckinsale Looks HOT of the Day

Kate Beckinsale Slutty Bikini Hot

Kate Beckinsale is old, but she’s fucking awesome looking.

I have never seen her movies, I have never been a fan of her work, or even her existence. I just always liked that despite being a mom, she was hot bodied….and still is…I mean she’s got a 20 year old college aged daughter and she didn’t have her when she was 15….and she still looks like this…it’s pretty fucking remarkable and it should make every wife and mother out there who doesn’t look like this feel like shit about themselves for not fucking trying to take care of themselves…because clearly it’s possible…

I don’t know if her organs are rotted out or not, maybe the pussy’s got a smell but that could just be some Pete Wentz from SNL’s sperm from a few months ago stuck to the wrinkles…you know menopausal pussy deals with sperm differently than pussy that isn’t fucking expired…

That doesn’t mean she’s not HOT…cuz she’s hot…even if her pussy is dead….and motivated Pete Wentz from SNL to fuck Kaia Gerber’s infantile 18 year old pussy….she should still inspire and be be motivation for your weird nerd fantasy of being a superhero that breaths new life into her dead pussy…with your penis…

It’s hard to talk shit on something that looks this good…..


Kate Beckinsale Slutty Bikini Hot

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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Barbara Palvin Bra and Panties of the Day

Barbara Palvin Bra Panties

Big girl Barbara Palvin who is not looking as big as she probably is….maybe it’s liposuction, maybe it is keto diet, maybe it is starving herself, maybe it is photoshop, maybe it is FACETUNE, who the fuck cares she’s struggling to get her pants over her ass and based on my research over the years…a fat ass being squeezed into a pair of pants that are a few sizes too small is a fucking fetish and also a “meme” because every bitch with a fat ass who wants to show off her fat ass is doing it…

The girl fired from Victoria’s Secret for being too fat, after being recruited when she was underage by the brand (or maybe EPSTEIN) was used to protect their star MIRANDA KERR who cheated on Orlando Bloom because he’s a faggot who now fucks Katy Perry proving his FAGGOT-ISM, with BEIBER when he was underage and performing at the VS Show they have since cancelled because no one fucking cares about a mall brand pretending to be high concept in an INFOMERCIAL…only to have their back turned on her before realizing they need plus sized girls to stay relevant in this FAT world where fat is a thing and brands that don’t do fat get boycotted by everyone even the non fats…cuz they lose credibility as a modern and relevant brand even if they make XXXXL panties…because the public want to see XXXXL ass in those panties….like a bunch of chubby chasing fat fetishists I’ll never understand….

The world is nuts, but I like this Barbara Palvin pic.

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Posted in:Barbara Palvin|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Irina Shayk Nerd Enhanced See Through of the Day

Irina Shayk Nerd Enhanced See THrough

Irina Shayk and Bake, but only if your rich enough….because this Russian, like all Russian sugar babies have been trained to know their worth, and have been trained to seduce men in little war camps / bunkers, where they were placed when they were little kids…

You know the Russian scouts decided if a bitch was to be in Olympic sports, Music, Ballet, Academia, Science or Sex Work….and each category had its own subcategories….Like the individual sport in Olympics, the type of musical instrument in Music, subjects in Academia….and level in Sex Work….from Human Trafficked to Top model…but one thing was a constant…a need to be the best, the smartest, to win at all costs, and to manipulate anyone who stood in the way, or who was needed to live out the duty…KGB styles…RUSSIAN TROLLING OF AMERICAN VOTING BECAUSE AMERICAN’S HAVE NO MIND OF THEIR OWN AND BELIEVE A FACEBOOK AD….

Point being…Irina Shayk won’t fuck you cuz she’ Irina Shayk, one of the hottest….but she did do some strategic breeding with an A-Lister that provided higher profile thanks to media attention and association of what sperm was dropped in her….so she’s set for life, or at least until the kid turns 18….a huge fucking improvement from when she was a kid and they were smuggling LEVIS JEANS and MICHAEL JACKSON cassettes into the IRON CURTAIN…

OTHER POINT BEING…the nerds with their computer software algorithms have processed one of her images so that you can see her nipples…which I guess is exciting for them because why else would they take the time to do this…and if it is exciting to them then it is exciting to you…

Here are the nerd enhanced versions

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Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Elizabeth Hurley Bikini of the Day

Elizabeth Hurley Bikini

I watch all the Christmas movies over and over and over again and today, while other people were miserably heading to work, maybe dropping their kids off at school, maybe paying some bills on their credit cards to free up space to go Xmas shopping for a thankless family that expects more than you can provide thanks to the internet, making you feel like the inadequate loser that you are despite how hard you try….because they don’t understand the importance of family, togetherness, helping each other, saving the world….they just want the latest fucking hyped up shit you can’t fucking afford….

I was watching LOVE ACTUALLY with HUGH GRANT who I always thought cheated on Liz Hurley back when she was his gold digger sugar baby for what must have been a decade, helping launch her career and celebrity….with a tranny hooker…But as thanks to a quick google search on the Christmas show I was watching, it turns out it was just a regular hooker…and that amazed me…. I think they call it the Butterfly Effect….no wait it’s the Mandela Effect…which is appropriate since Liz Hurley was about 25 years old when Nelson Mandela got arresed back in 1962…

Elizabeth Hurley Bikini

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Rita Ora Titty Bounce of the Day

Rita Ora obviously wants some attention her way…she is doing a titty jiggle dance in a sheer top without a bra…and posting it on social media for her fans…to show just how fun she is…but really to show how fun her tits she is a vessel for are.

She’s likely been dumped or rejected by someone who is more interested in someone new and more excited than this old, washed up, never was, but was always around mooch.

She’s feeling insecure because other talentless trashy popstars are making moves, stepping on her toes with their bad music and popculture is embracing them…Rita Ora has been a mooch fuck for what must be the last 10 years, fuckign the right people, going to the right parties, even getting a hit song last year or the year before because the stars aligned, but she was never anything interesting, no one ever really knew or cared who she was, she was just sort of around…so as interest in her that wasn’t really ever there…finally dwindles…we can expect sex tapes and all that good stuff with her great tits…like titty fuck videos, taking loads on her tits, cuz she made it this far and won’t give up now…even if she probably should have given up 10 years ago…but if she did….we wouldn’t have her unmemorable hit song no one has ever actually heard or sang along to because some stars don’t have star power…but they do got tits….


Rita Ora See Through

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2019

02

Dec

Sara Sampaio Wet Bikini of the Day

Sara Sampaio Wet Bikini

Sara Sampaio is in TULUM, the trendiest place in Mexico for Instagram models and Instagram Hipsters, at least it was, I don’t spend time on social media, it rapes your soul and it pollutes your mind with images of half naked chicks….plus I get everything I need in the the stepFORUM I call home…even though I don’t actually post there…

The Victoria’s Secret model I assume they hired to replace Adriana Lima before Adriana Lima decided to never quit Victoria’s Secret….because she’s Portuguese and had light eyes and dark hair like Lima…and for some reason the evil underwear empire and their made in china smut that funded Epstein’s perversions…fucking LOVE girls who speak Portuguese…securing her a job….

But what they don’t know is that as a Portuguese girl she’s had amble experience in her bikini, diving off her fisherman father’s boat to unhook or un-snag his fishing lines….because it is the Portuguese way…

I’m not a fan of Sampaio, she looks like a hairy muppet to me, but people like her, so here she is.




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Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW