SFW Archives - Page 805 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

07

Sep

Big Girl Kate Upton in Glamour Magazine of the Day

Big Girl Kate Upton – has been working out – because I guess she’s tired of being told she’s too big, fat and awkward shaped by the haters…while realizing by cross referencing her savings account…not her trust fund account because her grandfather invented the modern Washing Machine….and she has evidence that she’s not too fat to get work, she got paid, people hired her, she worked everyday – and now her retard, terrible acting skills are being put into movies…her real passion….because movies need random big titty hot chicks…

What she doesn’t realize is that she was fat, dudes just don’t care as long as there are big tits…and dudes are still jerking off to pics of her tits…we’re basic like that…and brands are too stupid to realize why people are actually being followed on social media and assume putting them in lipstick campaigns will convert…even though the only people who give a fuck about her are too busy jerking off to her tits to buy lipstick for when they are jerking off to her tits….

Tits she not showing off for this shoot…a terrible attempt at a rebrand…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

07

Sep

Georgia Fowler for For Love and Lemons of the Day

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Georgia Fowler is a New Zealand model, who unlike the hobbits that normally run around in New Zealand, is tall and amazing…

She’s been modeling since she was 12 years old….which is pretty fucking creepy..where were her parents, was her dad taking the pics, or maybe it was the stepdad in their back shed…there’s no reason for a 12 year old to model…ever…

I mean what was she modeling at 12? I’m hoping it wasn’t lingerie…up on some Jon Benet Ramsey shit..but apparently all she models now is Lingerie….and she’s with IMG, probably being cultivated or groomed into modeling for the Evil Underwear brand…

She’s with an actual agency, so don’t confuse her for some instagram model, even though the instagram model makes more money…this one makes more money for creepy dudes who she entrusts with her career.

THis is her shoot for FOR LOVE AND LEMONS – a trendy lingerie brand…and her nipples look good to me…but then again…all nipples look good to me…because I am also a creepy pervert…I just haven’t mastered pimping unassuming girls for commerce…

All this to say, I got Georgia on my mind…or at least her peachy..dripping…cunt…

Posted in:Georgia Fowler|SFW

2016

07

Sep

Irina Shayk for Glamour Russia of the Day

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Irina Shayk, our favorite Russian Spy, who may just be a Russian Model, using Russian Spy tactics to set up a solid retirement for herself, by pretending to love the rich A List men she publicly dates, both in public while holding their hands, probably something difficult for a Russian seeing as they have no souls…and through the sex she gives them – that is clearly good enough for them to not escape her….

I mean, her first A-Lister was Ronaldo…and he doesn’t really count since he’s a homo and she was his beard he helped create in exchange for being his beard…but Brad Coooper could fuck anything and chooses her…so she must be special, or she must be a fucking sorcerer who eats and destroys testicles and men making free choices to fuck her and run….by making them come back for more…until they knock her up..

These pics are boring…but she’s pretty much the hottest bitch out there…so boring or not…they are still good..

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

07

Sep

Christina Milian Crotch Shot of the Day

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Christina Milian is pretty shameless – and the whole thing is funny to me. There is no reason why a 30 something year old mom with a lot of fucking money – would need to post a picture of her flashing her cooch in a trench coat, even if she’s just being fun and silly, and even if her actual mom pussy has been censored by an emoji…it’s just weird…on some bootleg Kardashian shit…

I get that she was a one hit wonder who people only cared about because she had a slutty video, but she made bank off that, and with her now ex-husband – THE DREAM…who produced songs like “BABY” by Beiber, Put a Ring on It by Beyonce, Umbrella by Rihanna…and probably a lot of other shit….that pays a nice monthly check to Milian and their kid…she doens’t need to be shameless…but at her core…she fucking loves it..it’s not for the money…it’s for the feedback from her audience…

But this Vegas pool party, party slut, flashing exhibitionism…is actually better knowing that she’s doing it for the love of being a whore…not because she needs to be doing it…

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

07

Sep

WTF is Christie Brinkley of the Day

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Uptown girl Christie Brinkley is a lot hotter at 62 that her her ugly kid she’s got with Billy Joel…the suicidal, dark, gothic one named Alexa Ray Joel….but then again she’s a lot hotter at 62 that most 20 years old…and it’s creepy…

Clearly, she’s had plastic surgery, clearly her tits have been lifted or implants have been put in, her hands tell a different story than her face…but she still looks insanely hot…and it’s confusing me…someone who thinks 30 is retirement age for a bitch…

It’s safe to say that she’s just a really vain LA based person who truly believes that her looks are all she’s worth, which is probably true, I mean she was a busty Sports Illustrated bikini model…so in her downtime – all she does is fixate on her looks…and work on her looks…because what else is she to do with that pile of fucking money…and why wouldn’t she…

She makes being menopausal as erotic as it should be, you know not being able to get pregnant is something that could be erotic for those of us into cumming in bitches but never trusting the bitches we cum in, always planning to legally change our names, while keeping enough money for a plane ticket to get to another country fast….the second after she tells you “I’m pregnant and keeping it”….it’s just most menopausal chicks are terrifying…and in ways…I call Peter Pan syndrome…Christie Brinkley is fucking terrifying…it’s just so unnatural…but amazing…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christie Brinkley|SFW

2016

07

Sep

Em Rat Cow in a Bikini of the Day

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I am convinced that Rat Cow is done, over, irrelevant, finished…and bound to fade into obscurity. She’s had her peak, she’s got as far as she can go and she’s not talented enough to carry this to the next level. She’s not creative enough to do good things with her audience. She’s too entitled and a diva and doesn’t realize that she’s just a Tila Tequila…they never realize these thigns….

But the fact is she’s got 7 million fans, so Rat Cow is still really fucking relevant…she’s invited to events, she’s still getting paid by brands and she’s still producing content for the dudes who follow her and jerk off to her are still loving her big tits on her small frame…and the women who like to follow the girls men jerk off to – are all up on her shit….

People just don’t unfollow, so the key to success is get those followers in the first place and you’re set for life – even though you can’t sell your account off like it was a shitty website, you’ll still have companies through you 10k a post…even if you aren’t worth 10k…not even for sex…

I don’t hate Rat Cow…but Rat Cow hates me…and that’s probably what makes me like her better…I love girls who hate me.

She was also at fashion week – doing some bullshit appearance for Target – not wearig panties because she’s a whore …

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2016

07

Sep

Adriana Lima Hides Her Mid Section of the Day

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Adriana Lima has been working out because she’s really got no choice. She hit 30, had a bunch of kids due to immaculate conception, because I remember at one point in her career she was really committed to her catholicism and was a half naked – virgin…right…

Well, thanks to getting older, and having kids, she’s got a really weird boxy body – and at 35 – it’s not an abnormal body, it’s a totally acceptable body…the muscle tone, the thin legs…it’s ok…I’d want my middle aged wife and mother of my kids to look like this – it’s better than the alternative…but as an ambassador still getting paid by the evil corporation that created her and that she’s still in contract with – it’s weird, it’s not hot and even she knows she’s falling off, otherwise she wouldn’t be hiding her ass and boxy mid-section…

She’s now more a den mother, the top stripper at the strip club who works the day shit for her stage shows, but still gives private dances to her regulars during the busier night shift…replaced by the young youngs…but still getting her tits grabbed for 10 bucks a song – it’s all she knows…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Adriana Lima|SFW

2016

06

Sep

Rita Ora Big Titty Bathing Suit Dance of the Day

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Rita Ora is really excited about finally being relevant after being cast on America’s Next Top Model or a similar show…she’s just killin’ it – everyday in the paparazzi, taking her selfies, putting it all out there….finally finding her place in the world as more than just a Rihanna impersonator…but as her own entity…one no one really knows or cares about, but she did fuck a lot of dudes as she navigated the industry and that should count for something…she also has big tits and we like big tits…

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2016

06

Sep

Amanda Seyfried’s in Jeans of the Day

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The only thing I genuinely like in the world is dogs. I don’t need to go into why, it’s pretty fucking obvious, they are just everything humans like to pretend to be, or like to think they are, but totally aren’t…loyal, great companions, fun, cute, affectionate, sweet, amazing….and there is no real bond with any other living creature than one with your dog…it’s a fact…

So seeing a girl who is with her dog, who loves her dog, who even sits on the ground next to her dog because it may or may not being getting old, hot and unwilling to walk…all while wearing a “adopt” a dog, rescue shirt…is beyond erotic to me…it speaks to my fucking soul…and reminds me that Amanda Seyfried is and has always been – at least since replacing LOHAN at being Lohan…the only young starlet I appreciate….she’s probably evil, horrible, entitled, spoiled, a diva, disgusting..but in her public image she’s dirty, lazy, unassuming…and in her movies she’s naked…I am into it…a fan…except for that whole fucking Justin Long thing, but I don’t care about the things that have been inside girls I like….I don’t even worry about getting inside girls I like…I just like knowing they exist…while I can focus on putting my dick in girls I don’t like, respect, appreciate and like buying on discount…at 3 am…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried|SFW

2016

06

Sep

Tulisa Contostavlos Bikini Cameltoe on Set of the Day

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Tulisa Contostavlos had a sex tape. She was sucking some black cock – back when she was a female rapper in the UK – and it made her famous. No one gave a fuck about the dick sucker prior to the dick suck – but after the scandal she got on TV, became a household name…

Well, she’s back to recording an album, probably for Simon Cowell who we can assume owns her – and she’s showing off some pussy cameltoe in a bikini – as a nice reminder that she probably goes greek – because she is greek – as big black cock in the ass – doesn’t really show in a bikini the next day – like it would with a shredded pussy….after they bang the fuck out of her…so keep it historically accurate or some shit…

The reality is – pussy definition / cameltoe is some of my favorite things to look at on girls…it leaves enough to the imagination…but makes it easy to imagine what the pussy looks like – and that’s often better than knowing what the pussy looks like…it’s about subtleties..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Tulisa Contostavlos

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