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Archive for the Tits Category

2008

25

Feb

Linda Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

In a poor trashy family, when the daughter turns 18 and decides to follow their mom’s footsteps into a lifelong career of stripping, she gets the mother’s implant hand me downs when the mom decides it’s time to upgrade because the only way she’ll land a lap dance is if she has cartoon like tits.

In a rich trashy family, they just get the daughter a set of implants for her 16th birthday because having a flat chested daughter would make people question how real her mom’s tits were, and no one wants to be outted as the middle aged woman with fake tits in the neighborhood, it’s better to keep people wondering….That is until you go out in a bikini and prove to the world that the only thing faker than these tits are your hair and maybe your divorce since it’s a good way to take attention away from your car racing son and his crippling driving skills.

I was always a fan of hand me downs when I was a kid and was forced to wear my foster sister’s jogging pants. I never really complained, sure the pink pants didn’t make me many friends, but I could still get off to the period stain she left behind and at the time that was better than jerking off to National Geographic or Three’s Company. I guess I’ve just always had a thing for fertility….a Fertility that Linda Hogan hasn’t seen in quite a few years, sure she may look good enough to fuck because washed up strippers turn me on, but I know that the steroids have left her barren and there’s nothing hot about pre-mature menopause, except for the whole not being able to get pregnant part and not getting sentenced to the bitch for life, or until the kid dies of a birth defect caused by my broken down sperm that’s seen it’s fair share of toxins and now is seeing the world in human form, makes for a good time.

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Linda Hogan|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Sofia Vergara’s Big Ol’ Mexican Tits Do the Oscars of the Day

It turns out that Elton John has AIDS…..parties, and at those AIDS parties he makes sure things are perfect. Being an outrageous and rich gay dude means he can afford to do things you don’t see at your average birthday party in the McDonalds party room.

I remember going to some gay dude’s party once, thinking there would be hungry pussy for straight dick and when I got there all I saw was a pile of speed on the table, different colored lightbulbs in the lamps and condoms everywhere, not like anyone was going to use them. It was like we were in some kind of exotic bath house, and it turned out that we were, but I only realized it when I saw no pussy but lots of man on man blowjobs, which leads me to believe that you can never trust a gay dude, but they can always hook you up with speed.

Either way, I am sure Elton John goes all out in his parties because the cause is dear to him because he is Gay Married and AIDs is a Gay Disease, so he hires party planners and decorators and high class chefs with open bars and great entertainment with a star studded guestlist and he even makes the hired help dress up in hot dresses with their tits busting out of her dress and this one is named Sofia Vergara and she’s slowly making a name for herself…one day she’ll be out of the business of making beds in hotel rooms and into the business of making you horny on the big screen. We all have dreams.


Related Posts:

Sofia Vergara is Big Breasted Mexican

Posted in:cleavage|Sofia Vergara|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Paz Vega See Through Pics of the Day

Nothing makes me feel more like a lame virgin than posting pictures of girls in see through dresses. The reality of it is that that I don’t give a fuck about these bitches, or their nipples but I do it for you. At times I totally wish I was still a virgin, but those times only come out every couple months when I have a herpes outbreak or when my fat wife convinces me to take a viagra to try to pleasure her, even though my useless dick doesn’t even touch the walls of her really ridiculously big vagina.

This weekend was one of those sex weekends my wife makes me have every once in a while. It’s kind of how I earn my keep around here. I can usually get away with not fuckin’ her for months before her fat disgusting naked body slips viagra in my drink and have no choice. I guess we all have needs and my need is a roof over my head and her needs are oreos and the occasional fuck.

Either way, I saw shit coming the last 2 weeks and was putting it off until this weekend because there’s only so many headaches I can pretend to have. Now the key to fucking my wife is getting as drunk as possible so that i don’t know what I am doing, then take the pill get a boner about 10% of the time because even when drunk and on boner meds she’s still fucking disgusting and makes my dick crawl back inside me like a reverse erection. So I did her and rode her like a Bouncy Castle I haven’t recovered emotionally yet.

So here’s some nipple of some slut you don’t know and be happy that you are a virgin, because sometimes sex is the devil and I saw the devil face to face this weekend. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Paz Vega Gets Naked for Elle of the Day

Posted in:Nipples|Paz Vega|See Through|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Jenna Jameson See Through Pics of the Day

Here’s something that makes no sense, pictures of Jenna Jameson is a see through dress that isn’t even see through. It is something that you’d see your Aunt wear to your sweet 16, trying to look sexy for you without realizing that you’re a fuckin’ homo because sweet 16’s are for girls.

When you’re a pornstar who everyone has seen get fucked, you’d think showing a little nipple wouldn’t even register as being a fuckin’ issue. The reality is that if bitch showed up with a dick in her ass, one in her mouth and 2 in her cunt, it’d still be deemed appropriate because this is Jenna Jameson. Unfortunately Jenna Jameson doesn’t realize that because I guess she’s going through some kind of spiritual transformation that is turning into a donkey lookin’ motherfucker and here she is covering up those tits that have seen more loads than you’ve jerked out of yourself in your entire lifetime and we both know that’s a lot. Yes, I’ve been watching you.


Related Posts:

Jenna Jameson is a Model
Jenna Jameson is the Living Dead
Jenna Jameson is on the Runway in a One-Piece Bathing Suit
Jenna Jameson’s Got Tits
Jenna Jameson was Hot at this Photoshoot

Posted in:Jenna Jameson|See Through|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Jennifer Morrison Bikini Gut of the Day

Her name is Jennifer Morrison and these are some pictures of her this last weekend in a bikini because I guess she wasn’t invited to any Oscar parties, because the industry doesn’t know who she is either. So instead of staying at home crying about it, she decided to show us all how she can afford a trip tot he beach with all the money she makes being on the show House. Unfortunately, instead of showing us up, she showed us how bad of a body she has. So unfortunately for her, I am not posting these pictures for you to jerk off to and to help her establish a new perverted fan base, I am posting them to inspire her to go on a fuckin’ diet and take up working out. My theory is that if you want to be on TV, you’ve gotta have the body for it, because if I wanted to see a bitch who looks 2 months pregnant, I’ll just stick to hanging outside the abortion clinic, because I know that those sluts are easy.


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Ivana Trump’s Old Lady Gut in a Bikini
Britney Spears Dancing in a Bikini
Nicole Richie Pregnant Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Belly|Bikini|Jennifer Morrison|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Elsa Pataky Bikini Like’s Big Nosed Oscar Winners of the Day

You know when you see a hot fucking young piece of ass walking down the street with some old ugly motherfucker and you don’t understand what the hell they are doing with them until you see them both get into a convertible Porsche and drive off with smiles on their faces and the wind in their hair, then it all makes sense….The hot slut is a gold digging whore and can see past the dudes obvious deformities by convincing herself that they are charming or cute because they fuckin’ deformity comes with a platinum card.

Elsa Pataky is the pretty much the same story only instead of a convertible, dude’s got an academy award and instead of being old and ugly, dude looks a fuckin’ cartoon sketch you get drawn of you at the fair. I guess that academy award comes with a whole lot more perks than just Porsche, like star treatment internationally, or maybe vacation houses everywhere and lots of down time to fuck and that’s a pretty good trade off for this hot pussy.

So if you’re tired of being a piece of shit loser no one gives a fuck about, you should just go out there an win an academy award and all the pussy will just fall in your lap without anywork despite your ridiculously small penis.


Related Posts:

Elsa Pataky in a Bikini Lookn’ Hot

Posted in:Bikini|Elsa Pataky|Tits

2008

25

Feb

Brooke Hogan’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

I was going to live blog the Academy Awards, then I realized that it would be more exciting to Live Blog a a fucking funeral because shit is equally depressing but at least at a funeral you can seduce a mourning new widow to get in your bed and suck your dick in her recent vulnerable state.

I tried to watch 5 minutes of the shit, but turned it off because I don’t have a TV and was forced to go to this queer 80 year old neighbor’s house, when dude pulled out his dick and started jerking off to Jane Russell or some other hot pussy from his day, I figured it was time to book.

To lighten the post Oscar depression, here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan acting a fool with her fake tits that she tries to pretend aren’t fake tits on the beach. Despite her amazing beach dance moves, she will never win an Oscar, but at least she’s already won our hearts. Right….

Related Posts:

Brooke Hogan in a Bikini Top
Brooke Hogan Dancing Around in Her Underwear on Stage
Brooke Hogan in Assless Pants
Brooke Hogan’s Bikini Ass
Some More Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Implants|Tits

2008

22

Feb

Christina Milian’s Tits in Wallpaper of the Day

Here are some pictures of Christina Milian. I guess she’s trying to get back into the limelight since she was such a successful triple threat, you know with her one hit and shitty acting roles. Unfortunately she wants to draw attention to herself by dressing in your grandmother’s curtains. Maybe bitch has burned through all her money and put her mom’s seamstress skills to test because she finally got invited to some kind of event. I guess it’s possible that she thought shit was hot. There was a time in my life where I thought rockin’ a puke stained t-shirt was hardcore, like no one fucks with a dude covered in puke, but it turns out that shit just stank and people would just avoid me because it was gross and not because it meant that I didn’t give a fuck.

She’s still got tits and I still jerk off to the Dip It Low video, unfortunately my dick doesn’t work, but I guess that doesn’t matter because either does she….


Related Posts:

Christina Milian in Some Tight Shiny Pants
Christina Milian Bikini Pictures
Christina Milian in Some Whore Boots
Christina Milian on Halloween

Posted in:Christina Milian|cleavage|Tits

2008

22

Feb

Megan Fox has Lohan on Her Arm of the Day

Here are some pictures of a classy Megan Fox with her shitty tattoo and hot tits that got her out of the gutter she obviously came from because no girl from money would be impressed by Brian Austin Green enough to let him have sex with them.

I read somewhere that bitch was poverty and luckily for her family, she wasn’t ugly, because when you’re poor and have a good lookin’ kid, it only means one thing and that is a meal ticket. The reason is that poor ugly girl just have absolutely no hope where as a hot poor girl can always find a way out, whether it’s sucking dick for money, dancing on a pole for money, or hooking up with older married men, getting pregnant and blackmailing them for money. There are options…

I guess the point of all this is to say that her Marilyn Monroe tattoo is obsolete now that Lohan has taken on her personal and trying to steal her thunder. Now every time anyone looks at Megan Fox they are going to think of Lohan. It’s kinda like the time a friend of mine drank the last beer, so I fucked this girlfriend when they were on a break and gave her herpes, knowing they would get back together and every time she gets an outbreak they’ll think of me. I win motherfucker….

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Megan Fox and a Hot Water Bottle
Megan Fox Gets Coffee With Her Lame Boyfriend
Megan Fox Has Hard Nipples
Megan Fox Lookin Good in Red
Megan Fox and Her Boyfriend
Megan Fox in a Pink Dress

Posted in:cleavage|Lohan|Megan Fox|Tattoo|Tits

2008

21

Feb

Christina Ricci Showing Off Her Prison Tattoo Tit of the Day

It turns out that the tattoo artist that did the Christina Ricci prison tattoo on her tit that posted earlier, released the pictures he took of her tits, I guess to draw attention to his studio or his amazing job of a pretty played out bird that he’s probably done 100 times before.

He probably convinced her to let him take the picture by being overly excited about the piece and showing her all the other girls who let him take headless shots of them for his book, claiming that no one will ever know it’s her, knowing perfectly well that pictures of her tits would be worth something for him one day and I guess he deserves a pat on the back for that kind of quick thinkin’.

Every time I try to manipulate girls into getting topless or showing me her tits or masturbating for me they always see past my scheme, but that’s usually because I bust my camera out and call all my friends to let them know what I am doing and how funny it is that the bitch is about to fall for it…right before she actually falls for it. I always jump the gun like that.

I just realized that the redhead in the pictures is a chick and not just a dude with a bad haircut. I have a bad habit of ignoring ugly people even when they are talking to me. It’s like some kind of superpower that just makes them invisible. So I guess that makes a lot more sense, because girls seem to love getting naked for each other with little convincing or manipulating, making this post pretty fucking useless, not unlike every single post I’ve ever written…

What isn’t useless is how good her plastic surgeon was, because bitch’s scars are barely there and all the fat chicks who I know who have had breast reductions all look like they had a meeting with a psycho pervert in a parking lot late at night and got shit done with a chainsaw in a back alley even 10 years after shit healed. So enjoy.

Posted in:Christina Ricci|Tattoo|Tits