Tits Archives - Page 46 of 79 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Tits Category

2008

Mar

Kelly Rowland Admits to Having Implants of the Day

So we all knew those of us who still know who Kelly Rowland is also knew that she got a new set of tits recently and now she admits that she went from A cup to a B cup and that she’s been thinking about it since she was 17.

She also said that she got the bigger tits because she couldn’t fit into designer clothes and figured that designer clothes was all she had going for her, that she might as well do it proper. If she had that same determination in her singing career as she does in dressing up, then maybe she wouldn’t have been Beyonce’s back-up singer scraping up media attention the easiest way she can.

I guess it gives young girls a great role model to look up to, now 14 year old girls everywhere who haven’t developed tits yet can feel inadequate and hate themselves at a young age.Dreams of wearing designer clothes will be shattered because they don’t have tits. and even even when they get boobs, they won’t be happy with them because they’ve hated them for so long they can’t see how good they actually are.

I predict the future holds very few natural tits and I’d blame it on Kelly Rowland, but I guess the truth is that she really isn’t that relevant anymore and breast implants or not, kids don’t give a fuck about her and the only thing these breast implants have changed is her underwear drawer.

Posted in:Breast Implants|Kelly Rowland|Tits

2008

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Belly of the Day

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Here are some pictures that are going around that are getting people talking because they are saying she looks a little fat in the uterus like she could be pregnant, without taking into account that this girl is a pro at getting abortions. I think it’s more likely just her period but then again I am pretty sure both are impossible because of the hysterectomy she had done to stop the spread of her HPV because cervical cancer’s not fun and letting random dudes cum inside your vagina is. So I guess Lohan is just replacing a cocaine and drinking addiction with an emotionally eating fast food addiction while still dabbling in cocaine and alcohol addiction like she’s John Candy or some shit.

I remember when my wife first started getting a little belly. She used to ask me if she was gaining weight and I’d always say that she wasn’t and that I liked it, which was true. Next thing I knew, she was so big she couldn’t even see her dick when taking a piss….no wait a minute that was me, but my wife’s pretty fat too.

I don’t mind that she’s got a little belly, I actually find the whole thing kinda cute, what I am worried about though, is the of example is this giving the young girls around the world, soon they are going to think it’s okay to be fat and without a negative body image all the pussy you’ve been getting will start being hard to get….

Posted in:Belly|Fat|Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Tits

2008

Mar

Katarina Witt and Her Figure Skating Tits of the Day

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Figure skating is the gayest sport to be a fan of, but an even gayer sport to take up, even if it means you are outnumbered by a ton of bitches who train so much they can’t find time to meet guys outside of their sports, leading to a lot of pussy for you, because no matter how much pussy you’re getting, dancing around on ice doing little hops, skips and jumps in glittery pants with skates on out gays the vagina. So despite thinking you have the last laugh while the rest of your friends are jerking off to music videos, it’s just a matter of time before the other male figure skaters win you over in the locker room and start giving you handjobs….

The good thing about figure skating is that it is on TV a lot and it is one of the only professional sports that you can jerk off to. It is a constant upskirt, camel toe, ass fest on ice where every once in a while one of the girls has a huge set of tits and a body that doesn’t look like other female athletes or a man and the only gay thing about that is that you have a penis in your hand and you’re making it cum, but I guess that can be looked over since it is your own penis.

Here is Katarina Witt performing what is said to be her last figure skating appearance with her tits.

Posted in:Figure Skating|Katarina Witt|Tits

2008

Mar

Jordan’s Plus Sized Tits Make Plus Sized Lingerie of the Day

2 Comments »

Jordan has a line of Lingerie called Katie Price and it seems fitting considering she made a career of posing in lingerie for freaks like you who like retarded sized tits, unfortunately, what is also fitting is the plus sized set bitch had made and it’s fitting a fat chick. At first I just thought it was the matching bra and panty set Jordan had lying around from before the downsize, because her tits were bigger than an obese chick’s tit and the only way she could get bras to fit was to buy the matching panties, but then I realized she’s trying to be politically correct and offer something for everyone…

I am not about to say that fat chicks shouldn’t wear lingerie because I know that some of you sick fucks like a woman with an appetite and the ability to suffocate you when you sleep, but as a man with a fat wife, I am saying that it would make life easier on me if that shit didn’t exist.

Not only does my wife love dressing sexy but she also loves me watching her while she’s dressed sexy and I don’t find it sexy, I find it disgusting. She believes that’s it’s ok for her to wear this kind of shit because companies make it in her size. So as long as Jordan is selling this shit, fat chicks who want to look sexy will just buy some lace instead of the traditional way of stopping eating and going to the fuckin’ gym. Maybe it’s her way of always lookin’ skinny, because as long as there are girls this huge, her body will always look tight by comparison.

Either way, here’s Jordan and her smaller tits posing her product line with a fat chick who makes her look better than she normally does.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Lingerie|Tits

2008

Mar

Samantha Fox Donates Her Old Bra to Charity of the Day

5 Comments »

If you’re wondering why it took me so long to update the site, it is is simple, my wife has been trying to have sex with me for the last 15 hours and I’ve been awake and trying to avoid it as best as I can.

Bitch is going through menopause, which for any average man, would mean he doesn’t have to bang his old withered vagina of a wife anymore and you’d think that now we can grow old together watching shows like Murder She Wrote or whatever the fuck menopausal people do.

Unfortunately for me, my wife is a greasy fat fuck and no matter how dried up she gets in theory, her body is always clammy or slippery to touch. Not to mention her vagina is so big you could store a pair of winter boots in there to warm them up and she wouldn’t even know, making her pretty easy to stick it in under all circumstances, so it turns out that even Menopause hates me.

Here are some pictures of the original big breasted UK Galmor model, Samantha Fox, the one who paved the way for people like Jordan and Abi Titmuss and all the other useless UK slags you’ve been jerking off to. She showed her tits in the 80s and I jerked off to them and now she’s menopausal and giving away her bra to charity because she doesn’t need it anymore, she’s upgraded to one of those skin color harnesses they only sell to elderly women at Sears….I guess to be fair she’s not that old….she just looks it….and that won’t stop you..

Posted in:Bra|Charity|Samantha Fox|Tits

2008

Mar

Kate Hudson is in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Kate Hudson never got arrested for attempt of murder for driving her boyfriend Owen Wilson to suicide. Everyone says he did it because she left him and he was in a coke rage, but based on these pictures, I think it’s safe to say he did it because he had sobered up and realized what the fuck he had been stickin’ his dick in all those months.

I guess he’s back on the drugs since they’re back together and it’s the only way he can get hard for her. She’s rumored to be knocked up again and based on her chin and her covering up in her sarong, I can only assume that’s true.

I guess when you look like Kate Hudson, you take all the load you can get, while you can get it….

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Hudson|Tits

2008

Feb

Bijou Philips and Some Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

In case you were wondering why my site has AIDS, it’s because some piece of shit cocksucker fucked with it last night without a condom and now they are laughing about how they brought me down with his other internet buddies who helped him right now because they have nothing else to do…since they aren’t getting laid or anything. Either way, I am okay with the downtime because it gives me time to practice my sitting, while eating a bag of chips that I snuck in the house because I knew my wife wasn’t home to steal them from me.

Speaking of AIDS Here are some boring pictures of Bijou Phillips in a bikini and she’s with her DJing that 70s Show boyfriend at the beach which is more interesting than what I am doing right now, which is writing about how boring their lives are and last time I checked when you write about how boring someone’s life is, you’re life isn’t a whole lot better.

I wonder how many dicks that rebellious daughter of a Momma Cass’ ass has seen during her coke fueled, hanging with Paris Hilton, modeling days. I am guessing more than one. Maybe Masterson should let her soak in the ocean a little longer, or does the salt burn the wounds too much and that’s why she’s running out like she just got bitten by a shark… I don’t know what I am talking about, but give me my site back hacker. Thanks in advance.

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Posted in:Ass|Bijou Philips|Bikini|Tits

2008

Feb

Rihanna Knows How to Put on a Concert People Everywhere Can Appreciate of the Day

9 Comments »

Rihanna seems to know how to put on a performance that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a fetish night party at a bar I used to frequent. I wasn’t too thrown off by all the nasty lookin’ people in their latex assless pants being dragged around on leashes, until I realized that it was a gay party and that the only girl in the place who had amazingly huge tits, and who I just let suck me off was actually I tranny packin heat. I didn’t mind too much, she was wearing lipstick and that’s all I really look for in a woman and she gave a really good blow job too, I guess she was just overcompensating for not having a vagina….

Speakin’ of suckin dick to overcompensate, we saw that Rihanna sucked a singing – proving she sucked dick to get to the top and is still suckin’ dick with some popstar dancing kid named Chris Brown , who has more money and vagina than you ever will and he’s only 18, so it’s only natural that she takes that attitude of overcompensating to the stage and since she can’t suck our dicks, she dresses sluttier than any other performer and that makes her the highest paid stripper who doesn’t get naked out there and these are the pics of her in Ireland last night.

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
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2008

Feb

Marion Cotillard’s Sex Scene of the Day

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French people do sex better than American people, at least the do in movies and in advertising and in TV because unlike America, they aren’t scared of sex and I guess would rather see girls getting naked and fucked than seeing buildings blow up in movies, and being a pervert, I can totally appreciate that.

There was a time when I would only rent movies based on the rating and nudity warning and ended up with a lot of movies from France that had full penetration in mainstream movies and shit just made sense to me. If the people in the movie are acting or simulating reality, then the sex should be real too. These actors are getting paid tons of money and I can’t imagine why they’d want to fake fucking when they can just really fuck instead and I guess the French were up on that too.

Either way, here is a compilation of the French Actor, Marion Cotillard who won the the Academy award last week in a bunch of nude scenes, because you gotta get your start somewhere, and when in France, that start usually means getting naked.

2008

Feb

Mariah Carey Hot Tits Suckin’ in Video of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s the new Mariah Carey video that you can almost relate to, except for the girl with big tits answering her door in a bra and playing with you in your fantasies party. Your life is more about being the awkward motherfucker sitting on the computer nervous as shit because a girl in the chat room just asked you for a private chat or some shit.Maybe one day she will get on cam for you, we all have dreams and my dream may not involve touching Mariah Carey or her huge tits, it’s gotta do with unicorns, they are so mystical and I feel like if I had I unicorn I could really take over the world.

It’s kinda like this asshole I used to hang out with who bought a Firebird with a T-Top. He was so convinced bitches would flock to it, that everytime we rolled together he would park outside of bars blasting his shitty music with a beer in his hand, expecting them to crawl into the half-assed convertible and start bouncing on his dick. Instead, they’d just look and laugh because we were about 20 years too old and too late and the high school dreams of being the cool guy with the firebird should have been left in highschool, and high school girls today are more into luxury cars and Firebirds don’t have the same impact as they did in the 80s. Now if dude had a unicorn, every slut from the age of 4 on would think you’re a fuckin’ hero and that is the power of having a non-existent animal all girls dreamed of having as a kid, it’s timeless.

Either way, Here’s me and Mariah like baby and pacifier’s new video.

Posted in:Bra|Mariah Carey|Music Video|Tits