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Archive for the Tits Category

2008

21

Feb

JoJo Showing Off in a Dress of the Day

Here is JoJo at Betsy Johnson like this is some kind of publicity stunt that happened 2 years too late, because no one knows who she is anymore, except for maybe a gang of perverts who get off to ex-15 year old popstars. The good news is that she is showing off her black booty in some dress, that bad news is that she doesn’t really have a black booty she just thinks she does, based on the way she used gangster jabber in interviews, or at least the way she used gangster jabby, considering we haven’t heard from her in awhile and it could have just been a phase.

The only thing that confuses me about these pictures is that she is part of the big tit generation, the one that gets their periods at nine and who have big ol’ tits by 12 because of the hormones in their food, but for some reason has no tits but still looks like a fan of eating. Maybe she hasn’t hit that part of puberty yet and for her boyfriend’s sake, lets hope she hasn’t hit the other kind of puberty either cuz their ain’t nothing wrong with having a girl who can’t get pregnant.

She turns 18 this year, so this is less perverted than it seems and remember I am in Canada so 14 is legal, like we’re still in the 1600s and there’s nothing wrong with that…if you’re the kind of guy who can only get dates by buying a girl tickets to the Hannah Montana concert because you know they can’t say no. Pervert.


Related Posts:

Jojo and Her Friends in Bed
Jojo in the Rain

Posted in:Ass|Dress|JoJo|Tits

2008

21

Feb

Gemma Atkinson Blue Bikini Pictures of the Day

Gemma Atkinson is some kind of Glamour model which basically means a big breasted whore who lets shitty magazines take pictures of her half naked for people like you to jerk off to because you’ve watched too much real porn in your life and it’s getting played out.

She manages to always pop up in bikinis on beaches, like she’s got nothing better to do but that makes for a good life compared to all you fuckers who are sitting in front of a computer. I guess whoever she’s dating, has a pretty good life too because he is probably a footballer and it seems like they are in high demand. Every slut in the UK is jumping on footballer dick like they are some kind of fashion accessory that determine whether you’re a real UK slut or just a try hard.

It’s some kind of trend, like when the strippers I knew all went out and saved up for breast implants because everyone else was doing it and if you didn’t have them you wouldn’t get invited to any of the exclusive stripper parties and all the other strippers would look down on you and make you feel like you weren’t the real deal.

Either way, here she is in a bikini.

Related Posts:

Gemma Atkinson’s Big Beer Drinkin’ Tits
Gemma Atkinson’s Hairy Stomach in a Bikini
Gemma Surfing in a Bikini
Gemma Atkinson Bikini Action

Posted in:Bikini|Gema Atkinson|Tits

2008

20

Feb

Christina Aguilera’s Tits on Ellen of the Day


I make a point of not watching Ellen, maybe because I don’t own a TV, but also because she’s fucking annoying and I hate lesbians. I only have patience for them when they are dyking out in front of me and don’t look like Ellen.

Either way, Christina Aguilera made an appearance on her show and her tits are exploding out of her dress and you can tell that Ellen’s got a total soft on for those tits. She’s acting even more awkward as she normally does trying to lure that new mom pussy into her dressing room….if it doesn’t work out, at least she has this footage to run one out to and so do you….

I like new mother’s and their new tits and that’s part of the reason I am banned by numerous coffee shops in my area, because it turns out that during afternoons when real people are at work, bitches on maternity leave meet their other new mother friends, because some obnoxious BFF’s like doing everything together especially when it means having babies together so that not only can they enjoy this new stage of life together but they can raise their babies to be BFF’s and grow up to have a lifelong lasting friendship just like them. Either way, they shoot the shit about being new mothers and how raw their nipples are and how their sex lives have suffered or are better or how they are planning on losing the pregnancy weight or how much cuter or more advanced their baby is because they are competitive whores all while breast feeding….and I get to watch.

It’s my daytime porno and it’s free, just like these clips of X-Tina.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Ellen|Tits

2008

20

Feb

Olivia Munn and Her Crazy Cleavage of the Day

I don’t watch G4TV because I have had sex but you gotta give them some respect for what they are doing by hiring a slut like Olivia Munn because it gives virgins everywhere the hope that they will find a hot, big breasted fantasy girl like the ones they see in their comic books, who actually knows and understands their interests, even though she’s not all that hot but is to someone who has never fucked before she is, That’s not saying much though, considerin when you’ve never had pussy before, a bowl of jello looks like a hot fuck to you, but that’s just because you can eat it when you’re done.

I guess the good news for the non virgins out there is that this bitch is out at an event showing off her big old tits and no matter how many times you fuck in a day, you will always love tits, but if you’re reading this site and looking at pictures of some girls cleavage here, you probably aren’t so much of a non virgin, even though you count that time you stuck the tip in.

Speaking of tip, I was at a coffee shop the other day with a handful of change. After paying for my shit I decided to give the cute girl a tip because she was wearing a low-cut shirt and not the same kind of tip you consider counts as losing your viriginity. I accidentally dropped all the money I had in her tip jar and couldn’t figure out how to get it back without getting caught. I decided that I wasn’t going to be homeless about the shit and fish through her tip jar like some desperate motherfucker in need of a smoke, which I am but don’t like to advertise that fact, so instead I just took the entire tip jar and ran. I feel like the 5 dollars I threw in made it mine. and it was a great purchase because it had 20 dollars in it.

Related Posts:
Olivia Munn in a Bikini for Complex

Posted in:cleavage|Olivia Munn|Tits

2008

20

Feb

Kim Kardashian’s Tight Dress of the Day

I just woke up and don’t feel like writing this site. What I do feel like doing is saving the world so I decided to report some suspect website that had naked under 18 year olds on it. I contacted my local authorities and gave me an email address to report what I found. This is what I wrote:

I just came across this family nudism website.

I know there is no harm in nudism and all that – but I fear they are attracting the wrong kind of audience – who look at this kind of thing sexually.

I bet a lot of predators are signed up to that site!!!

ps – there’s a really hot girl who is barely 18 on there.. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again and get that drunk for her first time and show her a good time when my parents are out of town ! Let me know if you can find any information on her, I’d love to make her famous and she’s already willing to get naked so we’re halfway there. Thanks!!

Now, I will probably go to jail for trying to be funny about under 18 year olds naked. But before I do, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian in some GoGo dancer lookin’ dress hugging her big ass like you wish you could do. In case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is not under 18, it takes many years of eating to make an ass like that. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Kourtney Kardashian’s Bikini in Miami
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass
Kim Kardashian Wearing a Bra for Her Big Boobs
KIm Kardashian’s Got Some Crazy TIts

Posted in:Ass|Kim Kardashian|Tight Dress|Tits

2008

18

Feb

Eva Longoria’s Bikini Ass Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

If I wanted to see a Mexican in a a bikini, I’d just sneak into my stepdaughter’s room and squeeze into one of hers, again. Unfortunately, I am not very pretty to look at, otherwise I’d be pursuing a career as the first man to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated, but instead I am just humiliating myself in front of myself, which coincidentally is also in front of all my friends. I guess the good news is that watching me in a bikini, despite being pretty fucking homo, is more entertaining than seeing this bitch on all fours.

I know some of you like her, because she’s the second hottest girl on Desperate Housewives, which is like saying she’s the second hottest girl at the burn victim ward of the hospital because she only lost 40 % of her face. If that didn’t make sense, maybe this will….If you put a decent looking girl amongst old hags, you’re going to naturally want to to fuck her and wrongfully think she’s hot.

It’s some brainwashing that TV does to us that make it impossible to reprogram our brains back to normal and part of the reason why you still think Katie Holmes is a hot piece of ass and you still have Dawson’s Creek posters on your wall. Weirdo.

Regardless, I know she is still hotter than anything you’ve ever fucked, but that’s mainly because you’ve only had sex once and it was with a dog, So I know you would still fuck her, even though you think she’s damaged goods for marrying and getting knocked up by a black guy and his basketball playing penis, You’re racist but not racist enough to turn down vagina….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Eva Longoria|Tits

2008

15

Feb

Britney No Bra Spears of the Day

Watching Britney not wear a bra, reminds me of my fat wife not wearing a bra and there’s nothing hot about that. It’s actually pretty fucking scary and that’s why I don’t have pictures to prove it because I try my best to pretend they don’t exist. I guess Britney pretends that her floppy tits aren’t floppy too, but there is a time in every woman’s life where she has to look in the mirror and take a cold hard look at her tits and realize that shit aren’t as perky as they once were and that their nipples are aiming places they are only supposed to aim after menopause or a long hard battle with obesity and it’s time to throw your hippie ideals out the window and put your feminist lesbian movement bra burning bullshit on the back burner and strap those crazy fuckers up in bra or what a call a straight jacket for out of control tits.

There’s no real reason for Britney’s tits to be so fat and sloppy. Bitch is in her 20s and may have 2 kids and like eating shitty food but usually those fuckers bounce back into action. I guess the realization of her tits acting crazier than her is what really made her step up her crazy game that landed her in the psych ward. She’s competitive like that. That’s my theory and floppy tits or not, I’d still take care of her and by take care of her I obviously mean spend her money and not give her sponge baths and gestures of love. I’m just not that kind of guy.

Posted in:Braless|Britney Spears|Nipples|Tits

2008

14

Feb

Lindsay Lohan is my Valentine of the Day

So Lohan doesn’t know this site exists but she’s been my Valentine for the last 3 years I have been doing this shit. I decided a long time ago that I needed to focus on one celebrity back then and I went with Lohan. I ended up scoring her phone number and left her a lot of creepy messages on her answering machine in hopes of her filing a restraining order or to even get me arrested. I figured it would have been good publicity and since she’s so loose in the hips, I probably would have ended up marrying her. She never called me back so I’d like to say something like “it’s her loss” like I am better than she is and like she’s missing out or something that makes my low self esteem feel better about myself, but I figure that the reality is that we are both missing out because a love this strong shouldn’t be ignored…and by love I mean I want to get her pregnant and live on her couch because it would make for a better life.

Either way, she brought her tits out for you all to enjoy and this is where the jealousy comes in and I gotta say stop lookin’ at my girl like that motherfucker. It’s making me mad. Cuddles.

PS – I can’t link to my stalker posts because my site is broken….but if you’re crafty enough you will use the search box to find it….

Posted in:cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Soulmate|Tits

2008

14

Feb

Super Jordan’s Got Nipples of the Day

I was surprised to see these pictures of Jordan’s nipples because I assumed with all the surgery she’s had the fucker would have fallen off by now but I was wrong, it happens. I guess she just doesn’t have any sensation left in her tit, so when it busts out of stupid bustiers she doesn’t realize it.

Here she is signing some book she apparently wrote herself or something equally obnoxious like thinking any of us care about anything about her beyond her tits, but not as obnoxious as the fact that she has a stage name and a real name like every stripper who has broken my heart and pornstar I’ve had sex with without them knowing and not because my small penis doesn’t touch the walls of their big porn vaginas, but because they weren’t in the room with me. Or as obnoxious as her stripping outfit that she wore out in public or as if it shouldn’t have been left at home in the bedroom for her freaky husband. But not as obnoxious as her retarded baby Harvey when you steal his ball from him….and no I’m not talking about mommy’s breast implant she left lying around the house…oh wait…yes I am….that big little dude’s got some superhero strength when he doesn’t get his retarded way….

Either way, it’s Valentine’s Day and I wish you and the homemade fake vagina you call your lover a glorious day. I just hope that model glue, popsicle sticks and chewed up pink bubble gum last another couple of months for you, because I’d hate to see you alone.

Posted in:Implants|Jordan|Katie Price|New Tits|Nipples|Tits

2008

14

Feb

Jami Gertz Bikini Pictures of the Day

Her name is Jami Gertz and she is in a bikini for Valentine’s Day, is a mom of three, is 43 and despite her monkey-like posture looks a hell of a lot better than Ivana Trump.

I’ve never heard of this girl, but then again I’ve never heard of many people. I am an idiot. I do know that she played Gilda Radner in some made for TV movie and if that’s not hot, I don’t know what is. Gilda Radner may be seen as some kind of legend, but I don’t think I’ve ever got busy with myself to old episodes of her on Saturday Night live. She may have made people laugh but her character had as much sex appeal as my Aids ridden neighbor’s ass, who is also annoying and has stupid jokes and will die before his time, but this Jami Gertz won’t be playing him in a made-for=TV movie, because no one cares about him since he wasn’t on Saturday Night Live. He’s just a heroin addict who used dirty needles and could never hold down a job or lasting relationships. If only he was on Saturday Night live, then maybe he would go down as a legend. Now the only going down he does is to the pharmacy for his meds and down the stairs everyday to find that I’ve stolen his paper. I figure he doesn’t need it.

This post seems depressing – I guess this is proof that you really shouldn’t joke about some things. Happy Valentines Day.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jami Gertz|Tits