I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Ugly Category

2008

11

Sep

Ashley Tisdale is Still Ugly of the Day

Ashley Tisdale is just one of those girls that no matter how hard she tries to look good, she just doesn’t pull it off. Like the time my Albino neighbor put on some self tanning cream, lipstick and a wig and looked like something out of a horror movie and not one of those Hollywood Actresses she was aiming for, or the time this Italian dude who was tired of seeing me down on my luck encouraged me to go out there and do something I’ve always wanted to do and to do it in a nice Italian suit he was selling, I had some extra money at the time and was feeling pretty desperate and he convinced me that this would change my life, so I slicked my hair back, put on the suit he just sold me and walked to my nearest subway station, got on the train and pulled my dick out to both unsuspecting college girls and girls coming home from the office and he was right, it really made a difference in all of our lives and I looked fuckin’ classy being my sleazy self, but was still my sleazy self… or like the Jewish girl I knew got a nose job for a deviated septum, which is Jew code for “I don’t like my nose and want to change it because I am tired of looking like a Jewish monster coming to steal your soul and do your taxes” and that girl was Ashley Tisdale, sure she’s not actually a Jewish girl I know, but close enough considering I live my life vicariously through the internet.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ugly

2008

02

Sep

Kirsten Dunst Could be Drunk But is Definitely Ugly of the Day

Kirsten Dunst despite being pretty fresh out of rehab looks like she’s drunk as she leaves the club, at least I hope she is drunk because it would really be the only acceptable explanation for her make-up-less face lookin as sloppy as it does. I’ve met my fair share of drunk chicks, with half-closed eyes and sloppy double chins begging for another drink, only to realize I was lying when I told them I had a bottle of booze back at my house and leaving at my request to entertain ourselves by her giving me a blowjob since we’re out of booze, and I don’t really hate them for it, I just kinda figure it has to do with my shitty game, and leads to disappointment in myself, but not as much disappointment in myself as when I think back to the era when I found Kirsten Dunst hot with her big tits on her small frame, when I look back on that shit now, I have no choice but to ask myself whether I was gay or not for falling into her hard nippled, dirty haired trap that the media was feeding me. Lookin at her now makes me wonder how bitch even had a career, it’s one of those “this isn’t the girl I married” situation that dawns 10 years and 3 kids after you ruined your once hot bodied wife, only a little less personal since Kirsten Dunst is just nothing but a girl on screen for me, and I guess that’s way easier to accept than the woman I committed my life to…enjoy….

Posted in:Drunk|Kirsten Dunst|Ugly

2008

21

Aug

Rumer Willis is in a Movie of the Day

I don’t like that Rumer Willis is making sex faces at me. It reminds me of all those times I’ve been forced to have sex with disgusting girls because they were just too into getting fucked and I had no capacity to say no.

Rumer Willis is one ugly girl. I don’t care how blue she makes her eyes, shit won’t distract me from the fact that Demi Moore was on hard drugs while she was pregnant and has invested a lot of money in paying off People Magazine to name her top 100 Beautiful People and producers to cast her in their shitty straight to DVD movies about an ex-playmate becoming a sorority girl……

I guess what it comes down to is how much she’s paying this Luke Perry Mother Fucker to put his arm around her, I figure he’s either a co-star in the movie or someone who is willing to put their dignity aside for a little exposure, but either way the thought of anyone fuckin’ her kinda confuses me and makes for something I’d definitely watch, because I’ve done worse, but definitely wouldn’t enjoy watching. It’d be like a 2 Girls 1 Cup situation, but less sexy.

On a side note, Ashton Kutcher still has mommy issues and an old lady fetish and is still having sex with Demi Moore because he can’t figure out how to escape her controlling weathered hand and plastic surgeried grasp…..and he is supporting his stepdaughter by going to her event because I guess they are proud that she hasn’t killed herself yet, something they’ve all been expecting her to do since the first time she saw a mirror. I like to support my stepdaughter differnently, like by walking in on her when she takes a shower to tell her she has hot tits I want to suck to boost her self-esteem.

\

Posted in:Ashton Kutcher|Demi Moore|Premiere|Rumer Willis|The Bunny House|Ugly

2008

21

Aug

Courtenay Semel is a Busted Up Fame Whore of the Day

The thing I hate about Courtnenay Semel isn’t the fact that she spells her name obnoxiously and something I hate is when parents give their kids a normal name but spell it stupid, it’s not the fact that she is an ugly jew who looks like the Grinch who stole Christmas, not because she’s Jewish and Jews hate Christmas because they don’t get to join in the fun, or because I consider Lohan’s vagina to be a Christmas Miracle Semel stole from Penises everywhere, but the fact that she’s a spoiled rich piece of shit trying to get some airtime.

She is a busted up fame whore whose double sided dildo even turns her down for sex because of how nasty she is. She’s just trying to get attention because her enitre life her dad, the ex-CEO of Yahoo! was too busy losing out to Google to give her the love and attention and in his defense, if I produced something that looks like this, I wouldn’t give her much attention and probably would have put her up for adoption pretending I had nothing to do with this mess.

Now she’s attaching herself to various celebrities and other rich kids and releasing personal information so people finally notice her and pay attention to her as this high profile dyke and that’s probably the reason her dad who has made over $500 million at Yahoo! and has gone so far as to donate $25 million to UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute for behaviorial issues in efforts to sweep shit under the rug and get a tax credit in the process.

Either way, I am surprised people even hang out with her let alone lickin’ whatever the fuck she’s got hiding in her expensive rich kid underwear and here she is with Tila Tequila, her latest vagina who is probably only with her for personal gain and access to more of that internet coverage that made her famous in the first place, but that’s just because Tila Tequila is a whore.

UPDATE – COURTENAY SEMEL GOT ARRESTED AFTER THIS PICS WERE TAKEN BECAUSE SHE’S CRAZY

Semel went out to Pure at Caesars with Vegas showman Jeff Beacher – and proceeded to “go nuts,” a spy said. “Courtenay got so drunk she was falling down.

Security asked her to leave, but she refused.” Semel finally left, but on her way out there was an altercation with a security guard. “She was arrested and spent the night in jail,” a Semel pal confirmed. “And she lost her phone.”

Typical Rich Girl Behavior….here are the pics…

Posted in:Courtenay Semel|Lesbian|Ugly

2008

26

Jun

Tiffany Trump is Fucking Ugly of the Day

There’s a reason why you haven’t heard much about Donald Trumps daughter Tiffany, and that is because he keeps her hidden and a secret because she’s fucking ugly. Trump likes to equate his name to excellence and luxury and prestige but instead fate has brought him something to brand that represents birth defects, bad genetics and a busted down fucking face.

It’s kinda funny that a cocksucker like Trump who has probably fucked over numerous people because he is a true believer that business is business and it’s nothing personal would get struck by Karma and his sperm would create this monster of a girl but I guess that’s just how the world works. The worst thing about this is that the worst thing about her probably isn’t even her face, because if she’s anything like other rich girls, she’s proababy a cunt and actually thinks she’s got it going on in typical rich kid delusion as she rides her prize winning horses, wears her designer clothes and travels to places of luxury while taking time off her very high society education to make a point of treating everyone around her like they are shit.

I almost felt bad ripping into this girl, because she’s a teenager and the last thing she needs to read about on the interenet is how weird her face is, and how ugly she is, you know, giving her a complex and landing her in some kind of therapy session or on some kind of meds or into a life a many random sexual encounters to make her feel like she has some value, but then I realize that ripping into people is what I do and business is business, nothing personal.

Posted in:Marla Maples|Tiffany Trump|Ugly

2008

12

Jun

Heidi Montag’s is Uglier With Less Make Up On of the Day

Heidi Montag doesn’t realize that she’s fucking ugly and that the only thing she should be taking off of her is her top so that she can use it to cover up her scary fucking face, but instead she’s decided to take off some make-up and try to give us a taste a more natural Montag and all I know is that it tastes like shit.

Whoever told her that she’s a natural beauty needs to be issued a restraining order to not get within 50 yards of any farm animals, and Heidi needs to be given a restraining order to not be allowed within 50 yards of any living creature unless she’s wearing a fucking mask, because she’s ugly.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Ugly

2008

23

Apr

Ali Lohan is Not Hot of the Day

Here’s ugly duckling Ali Lohan out and about wherever the fuck she is. I am not sure why I am posting it, but she’s ugly. It reminds me of this thin-lipped long chinned lesbian who used to play Rugby and who I always lost to in beer chugging contests at one of the local bars I used to frequent. I never really got over that loss, but the real thing I never got over was that the thin-lipped long chinned rugby playing lesbian wasn’t actually a lesbian and would constantly have dirty man sex with guys she met at the same bar I used to frequent. I never could grasp how a dude could fuck a chick who looked like a dude and acted like a dude as she burped, farted and challenged us to arm wrestling matches like some kind of tomboy who was more boy than the average tomboy , but I guess guys have no standards and like a chick they can kick it with. I am not one of those guys. I remember laughing in her face this day I saw her wearing a dress and she punched me in the face. I bled and she jumped on the table and roared like some kind of wrestler…a wrestler who looked a lot like Ali Lohan.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Ugly

2007

15

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere is Ugly of the Day

hayden_panettiere_ugly3.jpg

The problem is the world is that people can never agree on anything. If everyone agreed on everything, there’d be no fights, there’d be no differences, there’d be no hate, and despite that being boring as fuck at least I’d be able to drive the fact that Hayden Panettiere is not fuckin’ hot down all your fuckin’ throats, because my new pet peeve is that bitch is being seen as some kind of sex symbol, when she should be doin’ backflips at the local carnival or workin’ stunts on a Japanese Game Show…

The weirdest shit for me is when I see a hot girl and turn to my friend and point her out, not because having a friend is pretty unheard of, which it is, but because dude never agrees with my choices. Some dudes like blondes, some like brunettes, some like young, some like old, some like chubby with fat titties, some like skinny, some like short and some like tall, some like anything they can get their dicks in, some only like supermodels and can’t get it up for table scraps but never get supermodels, so spend a lot of time jerking off all over themselves.

But I have faith and feel like we should all be able to agree that Hayden is about as attractive as the bucket of shit we had lying around my apartment when our toilet broke and my wife refused to take shit out to dump in the alley until it was overflowing….it’s nice to see stalky/stumpy bitches getting work, but constantly telling them how hot they are isn’t positive affirmation, it’s lies and the equivalent of telling a retard he’s a genius because he figured out that smashing his helmeted head against the wall til he bleeds isn’t as fun as he originally thought it was and went back to hitting rocks together like he’s supposed to. Retards are always good times.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere and Her Dogs
Hayden Panettiere Making Sex Faces
Hayden Panettiere is King of the Midgets
Hayden Panettiere is Flashing Her Bikini for the Dolphins

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Stalky|Ugly|Unsorted

2007

06

Nov

I am – Alyson Hannigan Lookin' Good in her Pajamas of the Day

alyson_hannigan_hot4.jpg

I am a huge fan of low maintenance girls who can just role out of bed and go out and do their errands lookin’ hot as fuck without any effort, while rocking a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. It’s some natural beauty shit that you never really get to experience, because most people look like shit when they wake up.

Here are some pictures of Alyson Hannigan rockin’ out in her pajamas like she just woke up and she’s doing it as well as she can, because let’s face it, the only way this bitch will ever look hot is if someone replaced her with a new cast member and locked her away in some cage in a basement or some shit. Even when she is made up and out at events , she still looks like a fuckin’ monster, and I’d love to just blame it one her being a Ginger because Gingers generally scare the fuck out of me since they aren’t human and spawns of the devil, but I think it’s got more to do with her face.

I guess we can keep dreaming that one day Alyson Hannigan will be replaced like she was on a soap opera or like she was the mother on Fresh Prince of Bel Air, or like an old condemned building being torn down and replaced with luxury condos and no one would really notice the change, because all of a sudden this bitch no one notices now will become some hot slut we all want to bang and will just accept the new version as if the old falling apart version never existed.

Either way, here she is lookin’ low maintenance, like she just crawled out of bed, like the hot chicks I see running errands or studying in the library, when she should be putting all the effort and money she can into herself if she ever wants dudes jerking off to her, which she does, because all girls want that.


Related Posts:


Alyson Hannigan in Fuck Me Boots (no thanks)
Alyson Hannigan Bikini Pictures
More Alyson Hannigan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Alyson Hannigan|Busted|Gross|Ugly|Unsorted

2007

06

Nov

I am – Alyson Hannigan Lookin’ Good in her Pajamas of the Day

alyson_hannigan_hot4.jpg

I am a huge fan of low maintenance girls who can just role out of bed and go out and do their errands lookin’ hot as fuck without any effort, while rocking a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. It’s some natural beauty shit that you never really get to experience, because most people look like shit when they wake up.

Here are some pictures of Alyson Hannigan rockin’ out in her pajamas like she just woke up and she’s doing it as well as she can, because let’s face it, the only way this bitch will ever look hot is if someone replaced her with a new cast member and locked her away in some cage in a basement or some shit. Even when she is made up and out at events , she still looks like a fuckin’ monster, and I’d love to just blame it one her being a Ginger because Gingers generally scare the fuck out of me since they aren’t human and spawns of the devil, but I think it’s got more to do with her face.

I guess we can keep dreaming that one day Alyson Hannigan will be replaced like she was on a soap opera or like she was the mother on Fresh Prince of Bel Air, or like an old condemned building being torn down and replaced with luxury condos and no one would really notice the change, because all of a sudden this bitch no one notices now will become some hot slut we all want to bang and will just accept the new version as if the old falling apart version never existed.

Either way, here she is lookin’ low maintenance, like she just crawled out of bed, like the hot chicks I see running errands or studying in the library, when she should be putting all the effort and money she can into herself if she ever wants dudes jerking off to her, which she does, because all girls want that.


Related Posts:


Alyson Hannigan in Fuck Me Boots (no thanks)
Alyson Hannigan Bikini Pictures
More Alyson Hannigan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Alyson Hannigan|Busted|Gross|Ugly|Unsorted