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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

11

Jul

I am – Petra Nemcova Body Painting of the Day

Petra Nemcova Bodypainting

Marie-Eve here, again. Apparently Jesus’ computer is on the fritz, so I’m gonna be doing the posts a tad early while hes getting ready for his Cruise. I’ve been getting some lovely emails from some of you and also some that are pretty creepy, but keep them coming, I love it!! stepdaughter@drunkenstepfather.com

Here’s some pics of Petra Nemcova and some other lucky, lucky person messing around with some body paint, which I guess is what super models do when they aren’t at fashion shoots on tropical islands, going to swanky parties, and having sex with millionaires.

They have this sort of outdoor festival where I live every Sunday, and its always filled with a bunch of old and young hippies, plus a few normal people that go up there just for the hell of it. You’ll always see a good amount of idiots playing the drums, blowing bubbles and dancing in circles and urging you to join in on the love fest. The last time I was up there, there was a bunch of them body painting each other, and of course one thing led to another and a few of the girls took their tops off to let some of the guys (who looked like the forest had just thrown them up) paint their tits.

As always, it wasn’t the hott looking pixie hippies that chose to undress, but the fat, unshaven, pasty white ones instead. Why does it always go down like like? Can some one explain it to me, please? Why is it that the most disgusting people are always the ones that are the most comfortable with themselves? Anyone?

Here’s some shots of Petra to ease the pain of people who don’t know how to cover up.

Posted in:Models|Paint|Petra Nemcova|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Balljogger of the Day

I never understood people who exercise, probably because I am 18, and dont have to worry about saddle bags and love handles yet. Actually I don’t even know what a love handle is. I did get a gym membership this one time. My boyfriend had cheated on me and left me heartbroken and tender and frail. I had convinced myself, like most idiot girls, that if I was thinner he would somehow regret leaving me. I guess the joke was on me, cause when I saw him with the girl he cheated on me with, she had an ass way fatter then mine. I guess he just loved the chunk. I stopped going to the gym that day.

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Marie-Eve here. I Had some problems with the links, but I think they should be good now. I went to this speed dating thing last night with my best friend Anna. I wasn’t really into the idea, but a friend of Anna’s had gone the week before and enjoyed it and she insisted I come with her because girls can’t do anything alone, ever, and I figured it will be good leverage next time I have a pregnancy scare and want her to come to the doctor with me.

Anyways, I guess I happened to come on the Speed Dating Special Olympics Day or something because the pickings were slim, and by slim, I mean I wouldn’t fuck any of these guys with your sister’s tattered vagina. Some of my potential prospects included:

– A 32 year old accountant, who actually told me he was married and that he is looking for stimulation outside of the marriage. He also had a comb over. Hot!

– A guy who was my age, but talked so much about his ex girlfriend that I didn’t get a word in, and by the end of the allotted five minutes we had to get to know each other, I knew why she had left his ass and told him so.

– A 25 year old who’s, first question was, I shit you not, “Do you play World of Warcraftâ€?, to which I replied, “Are you a virgin?â€?

Suffice to say, that will be my last experience with speed dating. Personally, I’ll stick to the old fashioned way of going home with some random stranger, waiting till they fall asleep after sex then stealing their last cigarette before I climb out their window and down the fire escape, and then go home to cry in the shower.

My Stepfather tells me that some of you email him from time to time, and I’m hoping you will do the same for me. Send love/hate letters, funny stories and full frontal nudes (fully shaven please) to stepdaughter@drunkenstepfather.com. If you are lucky, I’ll post it, and all 4 of the other people that check out this site will have the pleasure of reading it too. Here’s the links. *Hugs and Kisses*

Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – Maria Menounos and Emma Watson Shopping of the Day

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I never really watched any Harry Potter movies because they remind me of virgin dudes who sit at home and dress up like wizards while playing Dungeons and Dragons on the newest videogame system that they bought with birthday money from their grandmother, but I have heard of this 17 year old named Emma Watson and her friend Maria Menounous from Entertainment Tonight or wherever the fuck she’s from and here they are shopping together.

Either way, it’s nice to see friends come together for the sake of landing an interview in attempts to promote a movie that is about to come out while dressing the British girl in Sex Pistol and Union Jack shirts because that’s what the people want to see. I am all about fake friends and pretending to love people I hate for the sake of keeping up appearances because that’s what fake friends are for…

Posted in:Emma Watson|Maria Menounos|Shopping|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – Ali Larter has Lunch of the Day

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I know this Ali Larter bitch is pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but then again so are most of the people I post about, she is just less important than the rest. She’s not in any major movies and hasn’t really done much with herself since the Whip Cream Bikini scene in Varsity blues, but she has taken her little tits to a place where people care to take pictures of her going to lunch, stuffing her face and pretending to be excited to see her friends.

I never linked incorporating food into sex. I always thought it was disgusting and I am a fat man who on the surface looks like I love eating. Reality is that I just don’t like moving and I like drinking beer, but that’s not the point, the point is that when my wife was about 50 pounds lighter and she was just starting to emotionally eat and pack on more weight than her natural slow metabolism and 2 kids had already packed on, she decided to be kinky. I remember walking into my apartment drunk one night and all I could smell was peanut butter. Bitch had smeared shit all over her pussy and tits in hopes of getting me to lick it up. I told her that the peanut butter trick was for lonely ladies with pet dogs and that she stank so bad I was going to throw up. We threw her in the shower and that was the last time she tried to bring food into the bedroom for sex, that didn’t stop her from eating chocolate, chips, cookies, burgers, pizza, cake and anything she can get her greasy fat hands in bed, but it did stop her from intentionally putting it on her lady parts for me to eat off.

Either way, I don’t even know if Ali Larter was the whip cream bikini bitch, I just ran with it and here are some pictures of Ali Larter having lunch, because I haven’t eaten anything yet today and watching her show off that she eats makes me jealous of her budget to go to restaurants while she’s more useless of a person than me.

Posted in:Ali Larter|Lunch|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – Jenna Jameson at some Party of the Day

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I don’t find Jenna Jameson hot at all. I know she’s a dirty washed up porn slut who everyone gives credit to for being such a great business woman in writing books, producing porn, selling molds of her cunt and doing whatever else she does to make money, but when I look at her I just see a whore and I have never really had anything against whores, I’d pay them for sex and shit, but I never wanted to make them my girlfriend and when I could jerk off I’d never jerk off to them, because the thought of being so dirty and loose in the hips, always made me more sick to my stomach than anything else.

I am not trying to say that I would only prey on virgins, but there was a time when I’d meet girls in bars and we’d get to talking and they’d tell me how many dude’s they had banged in their lifetime and I’d take the drink I bought them out of their hand and dump it out on the floor, because it’s easy for a bitch to get cock, all they have to do is leave the house and when a bitch gets as much cock as someone like Jenna, they have emotional issues. In her case, I get that it’s her job, but it’s not a very hard job to get in and being successful at what she does is a lot easier than getting that promotion at the shitty office you work at. If the world worked like a porn movie, the richest people in the world would be the ones who can take the most dicks in their ass, and that is why I have no respect for this talentless prostitute.

I knew this stripper who I’d run into on the street and shit, outside the club and working hours. She was always with a different guy. When I asked her where she met all these dudes, she would say at work or at clubs. I would ask why she hangs with them and she’d say because they buy me stuff, they take me on vacation and take me to nice restaurants. When I told her that she was a whore because she made it clear that she would bang them, she said something like it’s not like they pay me in cash. Point being that money hungry bitches who know that loser dudes pay for their company and use their pussies to get ahead are trash.

Either way, I figured I’d post pictures of her partying to remind you that disgusting sluts are out there and people like you like them

Posted in:Drunk|Jenna Jameson|Party|Slut|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

10

Jul

I am – Hilary Swank Bikini Pictures of the Day

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If I was a real blogger I’d write that bitch was wrong in saying Boys Don’t Cry because she never got in a bikini for them to put that theory to test. She probably hasn’t pulled out her dick in the movie and raped anyone either, but I do know that there are some things that make a guy cry.

Hilary Swank has only been hot in one role, and that’s Boys Don’t Cry, because even though she looked like a dude, I still got to see her stuff Becky from Roseanne with a dildo and at the time it came out lesbians had little place in the World, except maybe for Ellen or this bitch who worked at the laundry mat down the street from me who always gave me dirty looks because I had a penis…

Reality is, I am trying to get ready for this cruise my wife went on. She isn’t coming with me anymore because I convinced her that I needed to get away from her and that she wouldn’t fit on the plane, fit in a bathing suit or fit in the deck chairs they had lined up by the pool. I am not as excited as I should be about this cruise because someone told me everything costs money once you’re there, I am not into being locked in a floating mall with a bunch of old ladies for 2 days without seeing land, and I have never travelled. Today’s goal was to go out and get sedatives from the doctor because health care is free, but I slept in and now I am forced to come back to this site and post shit you’ve already seen about Hilary Swank’s shrunken tits and horseface. I don’t mind, I am actually going to miss doing this everyday and that’s more embarrassing than when Hilary Swank’s testicles fall out of her bikini and into the fag she’s dating’s mouth….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Hilary Swank|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I realized that you may all be right and I could be a pervert. I never really thought I was because all the people I hang out with always got way more sex than me, always did way more dirty things than me and I was always the motherfucker asking people about their experiences thinking that we were just having good conversation, but I rarely showed any interest in anything else they were doing…just the sex. Anyway, it started to rain out of nowhere today and I ran outside in hopes of running into an unsuspecting girl in white who got caught in the showers in hopes of seeing some tits….All I saw was an old lady with the biggest hardest nipples I ever saw but they were aiming to the ground, but I still looked. So I am a pervert….and these are my links….

Cindy Crawford Still Looks Hot at some Event With Her Tits Out…
GO

Slutty or Fake? You Decide….
GO

Joystick or Sex Toy? You Decide….
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Britney Smokin With Her Baby
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Paula Abdul Playin Harry Potter on TV
GO

Bianca Gascoigne Topless and Wet Pictures I’ve Never Seen Because I have No Idea Who She Is…
GO

Busty Girls Playing With Their Tits on a Plane Video
GO

Crazy Big Brother Chick Cries Like a Baby Over a Picture
GO

Heidi Montag July 4th American Flag Bikini Because She’s a Trailer Trash Drunk
GO

Fat Dude Does a Man Tit Dance in the Pool
GO

Big Brother Retarded Big Tit Slip in a Dunk Tank Video
GO

J.Lo’s Got Some Rockin Tits When She Pretends to be Rockin Out
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Gwen Stefani Showin Off Tits and Stomach on the Street because She’s Ugly
GO

Shakira Lookin’ Like a Ho in Hamburg
GO

Victoria Silvstedt Photoshoot Video Because She Tried to Sue Me…
GO

Cellphone in the Ass Video – NSFW
GO

Spice Girls Hire a Therapist
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Jack Nicholson with Bitches and Sandwiches on a Boat Topless
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Pete Doherty Cheated on Kate Moss With This Slag
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Dude Tries a Backflip from High Tower Video
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Some Woman’s HUGE fucking Booty
GO

Rapper T.I’s Lighter Side of Gangster
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Harry Potter Cast Gets on Walk of Fame Exclusives
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Wife Uses Husband To Cream Her Coffee (NSFW)
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Clay Aiken Got Beat Up
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Pussy Cat Dolls Wearing Very Little Clothes for Earth
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Pyro Techniques Explosion Sends 2 People at a Beyonce Concert Sends People to the Hospital Video
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Hot Slut Named Vikki Blows May Not Be A Pornstar….But is Half Naked
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Rennee Olstead’s 18 Now – So Look At Her Big Young Clothed Tits – It’s Legal….
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Denise Richards Got Dumped on Vacation
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Danielle Lloyd’s Showin’ Off Some Tit
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Amazing Pregnancy Baby Shower Cake I Would Jerk Off To If I Could
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Cop Violently Pushes Some Annoying Dude…
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Lionel RIchie Talks About Nicole Richie
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Old Geena Davis See Through Dress VIdeo
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Japaneses Human Tetris
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Japanese WOman Gives Head to a Tiny Man Video
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Jessica Simpson Showing Off Her Skinny Stomach
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Nicole RIchie and Joel Madden Get Kicked Out of a Hotel Because Joel Madden Thinks He’s Tough
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Handicap Dance Contest Video
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Models Jessica Stam and Coco Rocha Webcam Video of the Acting a Fool
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Harry Potter is a Massive Queer
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Gemma Atkinson’s Toy Doll Shoot For You Pervs
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Flickr Tits
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Live Earth Picture Post of Some of the Fools Involved
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Some Italian Chick Named Maria Mazza Posing
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Lucy Pinder and her Massive Racket
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Cam Girl Sasha And Her Big Tits Video
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Tribute to the Mini Skirt
GO

Use This Spray TO Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Everyone has been writing about this girl like she’s the next Lohan, I was always confused about it because she looks like a fucking troll. I was thinking that at first she was a make a wish foundation candidate and people were just giving a terminally ill girl her dream, but her career has been too long lived for it to be a make a wish deal and people seem to just ignore the fact that she is or looks disabled.

She does remind me of this one girl I banged once. She was pretty sad and lonely and no one liked her because she was 4 foot 4. She had only had never had a boyfriend, but had sex with anyone willing, unfortunately I was one of those guys. She insisted that I don’t use a condom, and what that happens I insist on using one, because she didn’t know me for more than about 45 mins before ending up naked in the back alley of a bar. Either way, when I was done, I had to tie the condom in a knot and put it in my pocket because I was convinced she was so desperate that she’d take the fucking thing and try to knock herself up.

Either way, to those who find this Panettier bitch hot, here she is half naked.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Hayden Panettiere|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan on the beach in a bikini lookin’ alright for Brooke Hogan.

The funny thing about bikinis like this is that they are pretty fucking revealing. I was looking at these pictures before posting them and I could see her full vagina. I can tell where there’s meat and where there isn’t and that’s pretty much the closest thing there is to seeing her sprawled out on a bed diddling herself naked. When a girl is just rockin’ underwear, you don’t see this kind of definition and this post may make me seem creepy as fucking hell but I am not the only one thinking this. I was talking to a friend who just went to some public pool who went off about how he doesn’t understand why guys focus on tits and asses when girls are around them in bikinis, you just have to look at the crotch and pretty much see everything they have to offer. My friend is also a 3 time sex offender so maybe it is a little creepy.

Eitehr way, I want to go off on how Brooke Hogan is thick and disgusting and has a broken down pick up truck of a face and looks like a man but these pictures don’t bother me, she’s tight bodied and bigger and now that I know she’s got a box and not balls, I am way more into her and her cheap stripper ways than I was before.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Pussy|Tits|Unsorted|Vagina|Wet