DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

27

Dec

Miley Cyrus Pussy Poppin of the Day

Miley Cyrus may be annoying, her face may be a bit broken down, but for some reason I still think she’s hot. It may be the fact that she’s always out there shaking her skinny white girl ass like some kind of stripper, despite being a the child of a rich entertainer who became an entertaining of her own, and really is so far removed from the stripping life, but since her dad was country trash and her mom was some sort of cocktail waitress, the inner stripper runs fucking deep within her DNA….you know the house is bigger, the stuff in the house more expensive than when they lived in a trailer before Miley was born, but ultimately…still hick trash….that she totally plays up…despite being straight fucking Disney created California based sitting on her pile of money.

It’s an act, I get it, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad one…plus her God mother is Dolly Parton and I fucking love Dolly Parton…so Miley and her twerking…is still relevant to me…and will never be as played out as it obviously is.

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Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Top 10 Hottest Female Athletes of the Day

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1 Ana Ivanovic – Tennis

Top 10 Hottest Female Athletes Ana Ivanovic Tennis

2 Alex Scott Soccer

3 Muni He – Golf

4 – Maryna Bekh Romanchuk Long Jump

5 – Elena Moreno Track and Field

6 – Anastasia Ashley Surfer

7 – Georgia Ellenwood

8 – Ashley Harkleroad Tennis

9 Jaime Anderson Snowboarding

10 & BONUS 11 – Ellen Hoog and Eva De Goede – Hockey

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Posted in:SFW|Top 10

2019

27

Dec

Scout Willis Bikini of the Day

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Scout Willis must be spending time with her mom The Whippit Queen Demi Moore for Christmas, in her bikini.. Hopefully she wont jump into Demi Moores Pool and die like that poor partygoer years ago…that would be so sad, you know a life without another entitled and rich, spoiled celebrity child who never has to achieve anything in life because their parents did it for them, so that when they are posing in lingerie like the hipster that she is, even though she’s getting a bit too old to be a hipster, you know that she’s doing it from the core of who she is, and not for personal gain, which makes her nudity better.

I have made fun of the Willis kids for years because I don’t fear BRUCE…the only celebrity who ever lashed out for me making fun of their kids is Alec Baldwin, he’s protective of his little pig, while BRUCE doesn’t need to overcompensate for his parenting, because there isn’t a recording of him calling his girls little pigs, even though they kinda look like pigs….he can do what all celebs do and focus on what is important…his damn self..

POINT BEING…celebrity kids are amazing, I actually love ALL of them for different reasons and I appreciate this one in lingerie by the Christmas tree is my kind of good time. I just can’t help but wonder if Ashton used to change her diaper…with him mouth…that sick dot com billionaire fuck….but who could blame him when forced to choose between DEMI’s DIAPER or SCOUTS DIAPER….plus SCOUT was only in a diaper because celebrity kids are lazy and it allows her to not waste her valuable lounging time with toilets….but still stick of Ashton that sick fuck.

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Posted in:Scout Willis|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Julianne Hough Probably Fucks her Brother of the Day

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Julianne Hough Probably Fucks her Brother….

It’s some Mormons shipped off to Europe to be dance partners in the professional dance scene before denouncing Mormonism due to sexual assault that happened when she was younger and that I am sure co-starred her brother….as they always do….only to become some Hollywood reality show puppet that would have been better off a stripper….put that dance training to good use…and during those years she was out there fucking known anal loving cocaine loving pervert Ryan Seacrest….SO….she’s been a bad girl…a very bad girl…where fucking her brother is hardly the worst of what she’s done…and if anything it’s the one consistent love of her life….and that’s how they show their love…

Julianne Hough Probably Fucks her Brother

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Posted in:Julianne Hough|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Freja Beha Erichsen Tits Out for Fashion of the Day

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Freja Beha Erichsen is some Danish model who looks like a dude. Her whole claim to fame was being ANDROGYNOUS which I guess is genderless which I guess is a very trendy thing now that no one has any gender..but at the time that she came around a decade ago…it was probably unique and interesting for all you bisexual fucks who get too much estrogen in your drinking water and foods.

She is a lesbian, which means when she’s not modelling she’s angry and bitter somewhere with other lesbians, talking about their hatred of dicks, as they knit in their Birkenstocks or Combat boots as lesbians do….you know never go to a lesbian wedding…it will be a potlock with a cash bar and a lot of dirty looks even though your dick is more of a clit…they just don’t get it.

When she is modelling she pulls her titties out…so here they are…small but still tits…

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Posted in:Freja Beha Erichsen

2019

27

Dec

Sarah Hyland Slutty of the Day

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Sarah Hyland looks like if Sara Gilbert travelled back in time and had sex with her own father, impregnating herself and later birthing a version of herself, Sarah Hyland – who ended up with a weak body and kidney so that Sarah Gilbert could further travel back in time and kill her own grandmother(potentially Linda Perry), preventing her own birth and therefore making herself immortal.

Anyway here is Sarah Hyland in some new movie being all slutty in her panties on a couch waiting for her black male costar to ask for consent to fuck her. I assume.

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Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Elizabeth Hurley Got Them Tits On of the Day

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Elizabeth Hurley’s son takes her slutty pics with her tits out because they are a liberal family…like a backwoods coal miners in the hills of West Virginia only these two are fancy and rich so their weirdness doesn’t end with flipper babies, they squash those unwanted pregnancies as they come in…and I know what you’re all saying “her son is gay and they just like being fabulous together”….but fucking your own mom isn’t a “sexuality” specific thing. It’s not like he’s into fucking girls cuz he fucks his mom, it’s not like he doesn’t like being a gay in his spare time, it’s on a higher level, a spiritual connection you will never understand…a going back home to where her came from…while she’s getting what she feels is an ideal man because it’s half her DNA….like fucking herself if she was a man…or the closest to fucking herself if she was a man…so it’s almost masturbation really.

That said, I have no evidence Liz Hurley fucks her song, I’m just reading into the pics they give us.

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Emily Alyn Lind Titty Top of the Day

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Emily Alyn Lind is doing some weird twerk pose you see all the girls do because they are making fun of black girls. You know the half squat ass out stripper move you’ve grown up watching at the strip club. I don’t know when it became a mainstream pose for instagram but these young 18 year olds are all fucked up growing up on porn…they have a distorted idea of sex and sexuality…and would probably pose like this in family photos while grandma is nodding off in the corner. Amazing. Right.

I like the captain or train conductor hat, it gives me some flashbacks of the World War II, that her generation doesn’t even know happened….or maybe just some Berliner sex dungeon where I’m about to get dominated…always a good time.

She is an 18 year old actress. Her dad is a producer, her sisters are actors, she’s been on a bunch of shows I’ve never seen, her mom is the mom in Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and you’ll likely want to bone her.

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Posted in:emily alyn lind|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Helena Christensen Ice Water Jump of the Day

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Helena Christensen is a 51 year old Danish model who may or may not be at home in Copenhagen for the holidays doing some WIM HOFF METHOD of jumping into freezing waters for weird techniques in longevity. You know to get all her modelling cocaine / Heroin damage all healed now that she’s old as fuck.

You probably remember her from doing work for Victoria’s Secret after winning MISS UNIVERSE DENMARK at 17 in 1986….you perverts….and has been around ever since.

She dated INXS singer Michael Hutchence for 5 years and that dude died jerking off while choking himself out, the most dignified way to die…so you know she fucks good….then she had a kid with Norman Reedus….so you know she takes loads up inside her…now better than then because of the whole menopause thing.

I don’t know if this jumping in cold water is really a fetish, but I assume it is to you Joe Rogan listening bros who are practicing this at home so you can talk to each other about it over text message as you try to reach your higher level of consciousness…losers.

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Posted in:Helena Christensen|SFW

2019

27

Dec

Nikki Bella Got No Panties On of the Day

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I barely know who Nikki Bella is but I do know she had an epic Nip Slip on Instagram that we posted HERE. Now she’s in some magazine with her sister (I assume)

Anything to relive that glorious nip slip, because you can make a slut look like she’s in a Hallmark Channel movie, or a J.Crew catalog, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s a slut who likes to pull her titties out…which makes her a friend of my site who probably not a friend of the site at all…because she doesn’t know we exist…and in an era of everyone getting their 15 mins, even Nikki Bella, it’s nice to be invisible so that we can call whores whores in peace.

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Posted in:Nikki Bella|SFW