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2023

04

Aug

Fishnet Friday of the Day

I haven’t seen that many fishnets on the streets as of late, the only people who seem to wear the fishnets are goth dude cross-dressing weirdos who clearly play too many videogames, watch too much porn, dream about being Anime girls, and it’s all very lacking in the jerking off to fishnets in public movement…

I did see a pair of fishnets on a modern Avril Lavigne version of a 90s skater girl who shops at Hot Topic, all mall-brand and shit, but she was 300 pounds….so that also didn’t make the cut…

I guess we’re just forced to get our fishnet content to jerk off to from the internet, where they are trying to make us get EVERYTHING, since internet is real life, and real life is just a weird version of internet.

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Posted in:Fishnets

2023

04

Aug

Lily Rose Depp Hard Nips of the Day

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Lily Rose Depp is trying to make a name for herself as the girl with the titties, she’s from France so she’s got a different approach to titties I guess, you know since French chicks always show off their titties on the beach, all casual while smoking a cigarette on the beach when normal people are at work thanks to socialism….

Anyway, despite being Johnny Depp’s daughter and already having a name for herself from that, she figured it wasn’t enough, so she got herself cast in a perverted series about pretty much nothing but her being naked all the time, and she was naked all the time, it was freeing, it was empowering, it was shameless, it was clickbait, it was exhibitionism, and I liked it’

She’s continued her hustle, building that momentum with all her paparazzi pics, not only in a new age, modern romance with a chick who looks like a dude, instead of a dude, because she’s progressive and trying to OUT-LIB a LIB with her edgy and modern ways, but she also barely wears clothing, so that you know her hard nipples, all juicy and delicious haven’t been chewed off by her dyke.

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Posted in:Lily Rose Depp

2023

03

Aug

Sarah Michelle Gellar Tits in a Bikini of the Day

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I’ve gone into this before, even earlier this week, I don’t need to go through it again, but there was a time when Buffy was a huge fucking deal, so many loser nerds were obsessed, creating the super stardom of Sarah Michelle Gellar who was able to get herself in all kind of blockbusters before dropping off the scene.

I never really gave a fuck about her because I wasn’t a Buffy bro, but I can say with confidence, especially after seeing these pics of her making some really weird faces in an attempt to hide the double chin, or the saggy neck cuz she’s old, looking like some kind of meme, or girl making ugly faces challenge, and even with the tits out in the bikini top, she was better back then than she is now, but maybe she realizes that, since that’s basically the story for all women, and she’s now going to put more shameless whoring effort out there for her last hurrah as a sex object being jerked off to by millions, or to build that fanbase back up and become the next billion dollar direct to consumer brand on instagram, either way, I’ll watch the tits unfold…I got nothing else to do.

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Posted in:Sarah Michelle Gellar|Sarah Michelle Gellar

2023

03

Aug

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

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Earlier today, I saw a cat girl dressed in her cat ear headphones, rocking a Hello Kitty tramp stamp and a Hello Kitty T-shirt, because she was committed to the cat girl life, and she was rocking a thong over her hips and her low waisted jeans, the whale tail is back, and you may not see the asshole behind the thong, but for the lucky guy who lured the cat girl in with cat nip or some sort of live trap, the assshole behind thong will happen…leaving out the guess work as to whether the bitch is in a thong, because she’s rocking it as an accessory or outerwear…

The thong may have been created or marketed as the panty that doesn’t leave a shameful pantyline, like the granny panty, all big and making the ass look long, flat and sad, but I saw at least two thong pantylines on girls in tight pants, so you still got that pantyline to deal with. They must have been on their periods because who the fuck wears underwear anymore, especially in this era of trying to get your tight pants eating your pussy, that added layer of fabric seems to just get in the way, unless you’re pussy is gushing blood as it does.

The is clearly still a function panty, even if it doesn’t live up to what it was marketed as, seeing as it gets less in the way than the counterparts….and girls are still rockin’ the thong, likely well aware that the asshole is visible whilst in a thong, at least from the right angle…so here’s some of that…because the asshole unites all genders…

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2023

03

Aug

Erika the Trending Midget of the Day

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Erika is the midget with the full-sized, human-sized tits that is a huge social media sensation on Onlyfans who proves that the world are a bunch of fucking perverts, who are so desensitized they get new fetishes as a levelling up their weirdness, because she has been quoted saying she made 20 million dollars on OnlYFans last year, which is something that’s likely an accurate figure because of how fucked the world is….

I am not saying you shouldn’t have a midget fetish, I think midgets are hilarious, fun to look at, fun to laugh at when they are trying to reach for things on high shelves at the grocery store, funny when they make fun of themselves for being midgets, funny when they wrestle or get shot out of cannons, funny when they are outraged that you call them a midget, or when they fall short on casting calls and Hugh Grant gets their gig as the Willy Wonka LOOPA….

I am just saying 20 million dollars is a lot of money to be made off of some human sized tits, set on the body of a midget.

I do appreciate what she’s bringing to the table….which according to the shoot is literal since she’s on the table, like a cute centerpiece of thanksgiving turkey in July, because slutty content with midgets is hilarious and really we’d all fuck a midget if the opportunity presented itself…OBVIOUSLY…

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Posted in:Midget

2023

03

Aug

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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The most important new sport, at least according to a pervert like me, is not Pickleball, it’s not Arena Football, it’s not the Rock’s XFL, it’s not those Spike Ball faggots in the park where there is always at least one topless bro. It’s the titty drop..

It’s not an organized league, it’s not even a sport really, but it is very competitive and it could be, so if there are any investors out there, let’s make it DrunkenStepfather’s legacy, the Titty Drop league….I’m ready and can bring a huge audience of 2-3 people for the pay-per-view streams….

Or you can just steal the idea and leave me out of the upside, it’s happened before, it’ll happen again, I don’t give a fuck, I’m in it for the titty drop.

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Posted in:Titty Drop

2023

03

Aug

Nicola Peltz Cleavage on a Boat of the Day

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I call Nicola Peltz Beckham a BORING BILLIONAIRE BITCH with her BOOBS..I actually don’t call this entitled, spoiled rich kid anything, I rarely remember she even exists, but when I see her boring married wife content with the tits out doing fancy rich person shit, cuz she’s rich as shit, I am reminded of how boring she is.

I guess she fancies herself an actress, because she was cast in Transformers, probably as a homie deal from Michael Bay to her really rich dad, in a “my daughter is hot, do me a service and put her in your movie as Megan Fox, because Megan Fox has upset the people in the industry and they have sent her to exile with David from 90210 until 2023 when we’ll allow her to be released from the shackles of being blacklisted, but in the meantime, let’s just make a mockery of her by casting a rich kid who can’t act and who is boring as her character”….

At least that’s my theory, since I never saw Transformers but I know she was in it…

As it turns out, entitled rich kids, like super rich kids, married to other rich kids, like super rich kids, living their combined super rich kid lives, no matter how boring they are, are still worth lookin at the tits.

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Posted in:Nicola Peltz

2023

03

Aug

Lucy Hale Coconut of the Day

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I’d say that Lucy Hale has a lovely bunch of coconuts, but she only has one coconut, and it looks delicious and nutritious, you know one of those superfoods.

I’d also say that Lucy Hale has a lovely bunch of coconuts, because I came up in the internet bro blog era of all the loser fan boys who started up titty blogs and got rich off the shit, only to shut them all down at this point, yet I keep going because I don’t do this for money, I do this for mental disorders….because I know how irrelevant, unread, stupid, and silly it is, but it’s a bad habit.

So yeah, I’d say she had a lovely bunch of coconuts because to those old bloggers, an image like this would have been a gift, a “Jokes Write Themselves” back when objectifying women was an accepted thing, before they all went triple vaccinated and woke.

It would actually be a dream for a bikini pic with coconuts in the frame for their small, weak, lame comedic minds….a stars aligning, a thanks to the self producing content gods for gifting us this so we can continue our lazy minded content.

So as a tribute to a GENRE long gone, kept alive by me, here’s some LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS, the jokes write themselves, I MEAN HER TITS, GET IT?

GET IT?

DO YOU GET IT, cuz she has a coconut and she has tits and coconuts can imply tits, OMG, amazing…

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Posted in:Lucy Hale

2023

03

Aug

Iris Mittenaere Bikini of the Day

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Iris Mittenaere is a 30 year old model, host and pageant winner from France, who doesn’t necessarily have the giant French bush I would have wanted to see pouring out of her white bikini, you know I am old and from a time when the world wasn’t all one pile of internet homogeny, where traveling country to country was probably a unique and interesting thing, where the clothing, food and conversations in each place totally different from the next place, instead of the IG selfie, wearing Kim Kardashian endorsed product in all corners of the world, so in my era that French women were into living good, love language, passion and body hair…which as a bush lover is a big deal….but possibly are archive or relic of the past…

Anyway, Iris was Miss Universe in 2016, I don’t know what else she does, but looks good in a bikini to me, which is what you’d want from a pageant girl, even though they likely dropped the bikini portion of pageants before they started crowning trans, biological winners, you know when being hot mattered…a relic of the past…

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Posted in:Iris Mittenaere

2023

03

Aug

Kelly Brook Big Bikini of the Day

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Kelly Brook is still around, not dead, but old as shit at this point in time, yet still living, despite all these years of being fat, it hasn’t taken her out yet…

She was known for being the fat girl with the fat girls that did the Glamour Model thing when that was a thing…she’d starve herself out before any of her shoots and cover that fat ass to focus on the fat tits…I guess she was known for the fat tits, not the fat girl thing because of marketing, but I’ve always called her fat and I pride myself on being that TRUTH TELLER that I am.

I once met a couple of UK Rugby players in a bar years ago who were laughing about all the Rugby players she fucked, or that they’d pass her nudes she sent around, because she was in that world..before moving to LA for about 12 months to try to get movie jobs, which never happened for her, so she went back to Europe to sit on that titty money she made.

Anyway….she posted some pics of her fat ass, a bold move for for a big girl who exploited her tits cuz they were all she had, since she’s not showing off the tits, which is what her whole marketing hook is, confusing behavior but she probably doesn’t want her mangled face now that she’s so old shown, so badly that she’d give the ass instead…despite it being huge…

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Posted in:Kelly Brook