DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

26

May

Kristen Stewart Thong of the Day

NO, this isn’t a new Target, Bud Light, or North Face ad for pride month….and NO this isn’t Ellen Elliott Page…

This is a lesbian in a THONG for PRIDE month…..rocking her lesbian dental floss…and luckily for us they’ve shot this from an angle that crops out the strap on-attached to her thong, it’s the only thong she had laying around, because all her other underwear are men’s boxer shorts…you know lesbian things…

It’s also a LESBIAN in FISHNETS cuz LESBIANS know far more about the fishy smells a pussy can get, because they themselves own a pussy….but also because they don’t have dicks, so they end up with their faces in more pussy than dudes who are willing to skip that whole part of sex because they don’t worship the pussy as much as a Kristen Stewart lesbian does…

I don’t know when the lesbian decides the pussy turns them on, but I assume mirrors are involved in that process…..

I do know that Kristen Stewart’s not very hot lesbian, like the ones I see in the park who are actually young, fit and only lesbians because it’s trendy….but I didn’t find her hot before she decided to turn, because she wasn’t BORN THAT WAY, it’s a choice….she was actually born to procreate…it’s the HUMAN condition people and all these gay shit is designed to take away from that by voluntarily not breeding and if you they do breed, they’ll end up weird thanks to their TWO moms….but that’s just my ignorance that will be seen as a HATE CRIME…which is shocking, since I’m so filled with LOVE!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kristen Stewart

2023

26

May

On/Off Flasher Fridays of the Day

No Comments »

I suggest using this gallery of On/Off pictures to inspire your journey out into the real world, off your screen, off your couch, amongst the humans who are technically no longer human thanks to gene therapy, and visualize every last one of the sluts you come across, both old and young, fat and skinny, hot or not…..naked…..just use their outfits as a basis of what their nakedness looks like….and use the on/off girls who do the work for you as a reference point of what some of those clothed bitches would look like naked if they were as cool as these ladies…

RIGHT.

(more…)

Posted in:OnOff

2023

26

May

Full Back Panties Friday of the Day

No Comments »

I have always been of the “a panty is a panty” school of thought. So long as I’m looking at the panty, I know I’m one more layer away from the pot of gold, that’s usually more of a sewage or dumpster that smells of feces and kitchen garbage, but it’s still my fucking destination and that’s my right!

However, I know there’s a whole generation of people who frowned upon the fullback panty, girls were shamed if they wore them and were never caught dead in them, and if they were caught dead in them, they’d live a life in purgatory in shame, reliving the paramedics finding them in full-back panties….a fate worse than death…eternal panty shame….

So that generation was also the computer screen generation, the no real human interaction generation, the hook up culture if they were lucky generation, the porno generation, and with emptiness and loneliness comes an yearning for that real trad relationship which for those who have been in one know, it involves full back panties…

Or maybe the throat fucking porn, the cuckold porn, the tranny porn has run it’s course and fetishizing full bank normal basic panties is the answer to all happiness…

Here’s a round up….a spiritual enlightenment in panty.

(more…)

Posted in:Fullback Panty

2023

26

May

Heidi Klum Nip Slip of the Day

No Comments »

FLASHABACK FRIDAY

Do you remember when HEIDI KLUM’s big EUGENICS granny tits were falling out of her slutty dress in CANNES from yesterday….

THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS weren’t there…

So why not do a FLASHBACK FRIDAY inspired by the GOOD OLD DAYS of Heidi Klum’s nipple slip in Cannes yesterday….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:HeidI Klum|Heidi Klum|Heidi Klum

2023

26

May

Em Rata is More than Just Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t pay attention to any of Em Rata’s whining about being sexualized, perved on, creeped on….or any of her weird rich and famous person politically commentary. It’s not her fault she’s misguided, she’s in a horrible scene with horrible people and just doesn’t know better.

In fact, outside of her bullshit whining about bullshit talking points, to try to make her out to be more than just a titty model, I respect her hustle, drive and longevity.

She went from naked in hipster shoots, which is when I started making fun of her face, while loving her tits, many years ago, to being naked in a music video, when the world decided she mattered and she’s been able to grow her account to be huge, while polarizing it into her being a fashion icon or model, and not some shameless OnlyFans girl….it’s fucking wild…

Then she wrote bullshit books that sold, she crested her own line of clothing to give her a reason to post in slutty content, she married some ugly lookin dude, had a kid with him, didn’t let that destroy her body, or her time doing racy jerk off content on the internet packaged as non-jerk-off content and it’s pretty impressive.

I think her most important work has been proving that she’s more than just a set of big tits, but ALSO a hot ass….

VERSATILE, multi-faceted, a legend in the making……not really…but good enough…

Posted in:Em Rata

2023

26

May

Fishnet Friday of the Day

No Comments »

It’s the long weekend motherfuckers, so maybe it’s time for you to go fishing, or at least go out there with your fishnets and try to entrap innocent hot chicks swimming, in a “i’m just trying to make you sexy as fishnets do” because literal fishnets may not have the cut, design, style of a lingerie fishnet the whorish women are, but it has the ability to drag in the SEA URCHIN pussy from shore that you’ve been EYING on the beach all day….it even works at the public pool…but it is frowned upon, so maybe just stick to looking at bitches in fishnet while fantasizing about it being a REAL fishnet…RIGHT….

GONE FISHIN’…

(more…)

Posted in:Fishnets

2023

26

May

Salma Hayek’s Face of the Day

No Comments »

HER EYES ARE UP HERE!

I just saw these pictures of Salma Hayek, the old as shit billionaire wife who was built up in Hollywood before being forced into marrying the billionaire she married, but who is still an iconic celebrity, which doesn’t say much in this world of no one being a celebrity, and she still has those tits that made her famous in the first place, CANCER HASN’T GOT THEM YET, despite her old age and statistics saying it probably will…

So yeah, if you look up from her designer billionaire fetish outfit pushing up her old tits, you’ll see a face that looks like it’s been pasted on, stapled on, maybe like a FACE filter or AI since nothing is real, or maybe just wonky photoshop and filters and it freaks me the fuck out….

This reminds me of when I used to crop people’s FB profile pics onto porn pics, which is now illegal and can get you arrested but hat the time a great gag…and I have NO photoshop skills…level up rich bitch…hire someone better…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

26

May

Feminist Friday of the Day

No Comments »

These braless girls aren’t actually feminists, they are exhibitionists, maybe fashionistas into showing off their braless tits through their outfits, but I like to use them to rip into feminists….

We all know that feminists have gone from “we want the right to vote”…to “we want the right to work”….fucking psychos…to “we want to be paid the same”…..to “we don’t want to have families, just cats, and jobs, for travel and designer clothing that we can take off during hooking up with randoms, until we die alone and miserable”….and it’s now just some weird blue haired fat chicks who are barely women, whining on social media, despite the whole idea of women being wiped out by the trans movement…that the same feminists push so hard…even if it is anti-woman…because these LIBTARDS don’t make sense, they just follow the satanic agenda that they are being manipulated by.

SO these braless babes aren’t that, but it is a nice reminder for all of us “INCELS” because we don’t agree with these freaks, therefore even those of us who get laid by hot chicks are now branded INCELS, to avoid all these freaks….but to NEVER stop staring at titties!

(more…)

Posted in:Feminist

2023

26

May

Workout Fail of the Day

No Comments »

After watching the viral clip of LIZZO performing a really heart felt, or at least heart strain rendition of a Tina Turner song in efforts to bait off her death and make it about herself, I feel it is important to watch some WORKOUT clips of bitches working out and the above video was sent in to me earlier, probably an old one, definitely a good one, because the girl’s treadmill fail is a win for the rest of us…in both comedic ways, we love to see a good fail….AMERICAS FUNNIEST VIDEO SHIT….and with ASS, cuz we’re perverts…

Posted in:Videos

2023

26

May

Lizzo’s Pantsless Diabetic Piss on Tina Turner’s Memory of the Day

No Comments »

The Jolly Green Giant who surprisingly didn’t have a heart attack in this offensive as fuck stage show, where the pig in a dress removes her skirt to reveal some weird wrestler outfit you’d expect to see on a 1940s wrestler, only with more sequins…

It’s giving Richard Simmons workout vibes, as she waddles around the stage in some weirdly charged routine…..

It’s also giving Chris Farley on SNL with a near lethal dose of cocaine in his system….

I’m just surprised she’s not eating a sandwich while pissing on Tina Turner, the USA Tax Evading, Switzerland Based musical icon….who knew how to make a hit and more importantly take a hit….

The point of the story, this is terrifying……but ROLLING is something that Lizzo obviously knows all too well so it comes from the heart…

The other point of the story, shout out to the engineers who built a stage that can handle that sort of impact, impressive craftsmanship….get them their own HGTV show.

Posted in:Lizzo