DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

04

Feb

Drew Barrymore Firestarter of the Day

Drew Barrymore is on fire….at least for a photoshoot and not in real life…even though it’d be interesting if it was in real life…like those liveleak videos of homeless people catching themselves on fire to prove whatever random psychotic point they are trying to prove..it would make her more exciting than anything she’s ever really done…even through her bad rebel years…the crying for attention rich kid born into Hollywood royalty, who wasn’t quite a Kardashian but would have been if social media existed back then..

I’ve never found her hot, not even cute, even when she was naked….so seeing her on fire is a zero in fun….but I’ll post it anyway….

Posted in:Drew Barrymore|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Shanina Shaik for Ocean Drive of the Day

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Shanina rhymes with vagina…at least the way I am pronouncing it…which is what matters because I am a self involved anti social who doesn’t talk to anything but the voices in my head….

She’s in Ocean Drive magazine where she defends Kendall and Gigi as VS models, even though the rest of the world know it’s a joke that it was paid for because rich kids can get anything they want for their birthdays…and/or life…

She’s also been fucked by Tyson Bedford the black male model lots of women wanted to fuck in the 90s…now she’s engaged to someone named DJ Rukus….because DJs are the new rockstars who fuck averagely famous Australian models…

I feel like I posted this before…

Posted in:SFW|Shanina Shaik

2016

04

Feb

Dylan Penn Topless in Rio of the Day

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Dylan Penn may be an average looking, but celebrated, spoiled connected rich kid with a trust fund and all the connections in the world thanks to her dad being Sean Penn….and her mom being Robin Wright…

But she’s got huge tits and she’s pulling them out for the paparazzi while getting some lotion applied to her…and that makes her awesome…more credible, less of a scam riding a name, and more a set of tits, because free the nipple or some shit…

It’s funny how I can despise a girl who is celebrated because of where she’s born, I like more of a struggle, but now that she’s topless, I feel like I should be campaigning for her, saying “she doesn’t need to be a fame whore, she’s just famous by association and is making the best of it, by showing her tits”…

I like how easily tits make me spin my distaste for the general vibe of modelling and acting being a product of these narcissistic people breeding and wanting fame for their offspring….to feed their narcissism…

And people care because they are brainwashed to care about the celebrity, and thus their spoiled brats, raised by these monster self involved rich cunts and a team of nannies… because people have nothing better to do that obsess over these idiots and their idiots…to distract from their shit lives…but when tits happen…it makes it all ok…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Dylan Penn|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Charlotte McKinney’s In GQ Mexico of the Day

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Hooter’s Girl who Never Was…because she has a tax evading Bahamas based father who raised her in Florida…and gave her bigger trashy girl dreams than working at Hooters…like being a model, or being on TV, and I guess it worked out for her…even though she has the face of a cocktail waitress and not a model or celebrity…but she does have tits, and she is proof that all it takes is tits, to get ahead…as long as you hang out in the right places, with the right connected rich dudes, who feel like the world should share your tits…

You see Charlotte McKinney not a star despite being on Dancing With the Stars…she’s done under 10 campaigns…..before being on TV, in fact I think she did one Superbowl ad…and has since fizzled out but as long as the tits aren’t deflated….she’ll get work…like this cultural appropriation in a shitty photoshoot for GQ Mexico…as America GQ is too busy for such last weeks kitchen garbage and are onto the next famewhore navigating social media like a champ with her tits…trash..

Posted in:Charlotte McKinney|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Maryna Linchuk in a Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know if I’m bad at the internet or if Maryna Linchuk has blocked me on social media…mainly instagram…and that hurts my feelings…not that I have feelings…but if I did I’d be so broken up about this model I’ll never meet not wanting me to have access to her instagram to judge her…

Maybe she’s overly sensitive, but she’s Eastern Europe and you’d think she’d have no soul and a thick skin….maybe even an abused existence of men beating her into the sex trade only instead of the sex trade…she ended up making it as a model, even becoming some kind of Victoria’s Secret model….which means she gets naked but you can only buy her if you’re a billionaire…and us commoners won’t be seeing her peeing on webcam for 4.99 a minute…

Maybe I’ve made fun of her and hit a soft spot, maybe joking about being raped or maybe I made fun of one of her friends…or some other insensitive thing that I do…because people are clearly too fucking sensitive…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maryna Linchuk|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Ariel Winter Back to her Fat Self of the Day

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Ariel Winter got her hair and make-up done for her 18th birthday the other day…and then she went to the SAG awards rocking a dress that showed off her tit scar, something she claimed to have done on purpose because why be shamed by the gnarly battle wounds of trying to make yourself seem thinner reducing the weird hormonal freak tits….and she looked ok…

She was in some candids earlier in the week and looked too dumpy and fat to be 18, with a rugged looking face, and the fact that she had a fan base was strictly due to her tits, as perverts who watch sitcoms like teenage girls that are portly and busty, because they remind them of their loser high school life where only the fat girl would give them attention and only the fat girl had that tits…

Either way, she knows she’s not that hot…that’s why she’s hiding her emotionally eating face..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Cindy Crawford’s Tween Socialite Daughter Does a Campaign of the Day

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Cindy Crawford and the heir to Gerber Baby empire, restaurant and bar owner, model fucker, LA scenester, and billionaire…something models love t, so much that they marry and make babies with, have a kid, who is 14 named Kaia Gerber, who is 14 years old…and who they think is old enough to be modeling, even though putting out content or photoshoots is pretty much sexualizing their kid, and is as creepy as that child beauty pageant shit….and I blame the parents.

The fact is that she’s rich as fuck, she’s got a trust fund, and she’ll look the fucking same when she’s 18, yet her mom thinks it is a good idea to put her into marketing campaigns for random brands, like a prositute, because I guess her mom was out doing coke off cocks in VIP rooms at 15….back in the 90s that was normal…and I guess it is now also…because mom’s not working too much and needs a project to keep occupied with…and daughter, like all girls need that Instagram whore followers to feel validated…

Weird…

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Kaia Gerber|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Kendall Jenner’s in a Campaign of the Day

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Kendall Jenner is a pile of shit that dripped down Kris Kardashian’s leg and that for some reason that I call being on TV made the general public find her interesting…

She’s the equivalent of some weird pervert finding a used tampon in a dumpster and bringing it home with him to make love to and worship, you know saving it in the jar with the other used tampons he found, because he’s into used tampons…only on a mainstream scale….and I guess more human than a bloody tampon, even though she’s got less substance than a used tampon.

It blows my mind that all it takes is being some social media followed sister of a porn chick to book every single campaign ever…since brands want social media and using her as a model is like advertising in a magazine, it’s less about her, and more about getting published across her network of people who talk about her…

So she moves products, she gets people followers, she’s making a lot of fucking money because of it….and it really just required a good calculated stage mom…a team of 100 people, some of the best in the industry, a family of 20 all pushing for the same goal, and a TV show to make it happen.

All this to say, she’s not hot.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

04

Feb

Victoria’s Secret for Superbowl Promo of the Day

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Victoria’s Secret is like a thirsty instagram model, only instead it is a billion dollar brand, with million dollar models, but everything they do is so low hanging fruit, but the world buys into the shit..

So it only makes sense that they’d jump on any trending topic like they were Buzzfeed, or whatever the fuck else is out there that jumps on anything “relevant” and produces ontent around that, so sites like this piece of shit I call home, post it…

I guess it’s a good strategy…but I prefer their models half naked…seeing girls dressed in football gear and liking it is pretty fucking homo, like my friend who would only fuck girls in men’s underwear…which I also found weird….homos with sexual fetishes everywhere….