DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

30

Apr

Kate Upton’s Vogue UK Cover Lies of the Day

Based on historical documentation…

Like Today’s Kate Upton FAT ON SET …or last weeks Kate Upton’s Fat on the Red Carpet …or last week’s IRINA SHAYK AND KATE UPTON ON THE Beach and and pretty much 95% of Kate Upton Posts I Have Posted …she doesn’t look this athletic, even when in a mom high wasted bikini…

I guess Mario Testino and his team just fucking magically created this look with smoke and mirrors…and I guess the real issue in all this isn’t how fat she is, or how edited she is, it’s how she got on the cover of Vogue, while being a Bikini model, who’s audience is all dudes, with no real business in fashion, other than because fashion wants to monetize and sell copies and be talked about…I know this offends everyone I know in and into fashion…but all you average dudes, love the tits…that’s why she exists…even though they are sloppy…so here they are…or at least here is the preview…more to come…you sickos…

Posted in:Kate Upton

2014

30

Apr

The Loni Anderson Still Hot Post of the Day

No Comments »

I used to masturbate to Loni Anderson when she was WKRP-ing it…

I still would…In fact…I am…

Right now…and you’re reading along, essentially joining me in the act…and that’s pretty fucking gay of you…but as expected as Loni Anderson pulling out her tits…

Pics via TERRY’S DIARY

Posted in:Loni Anderson

2014

30

Apr

Selena Gomez “Artistic” Student Film Quality Instragram Videos of the Day

No Comments »

I know people who know Selena Gomez and every single one of them has told that she’s fucking awesome. She’s funny, charismatic, a hard worker and and a entertainment industry genius….

Apparently, between her mom and her, they have this all figured out and that despite her chronic illness that may end up killing her, the one that gives her steroid face bloat, and that Makes her look like some kind of chipmunk…she may take the fuck over…

You know, producing Springbreakers wasn’t the peak of her artistic hustle, but rather the start, even though it was hardly art, unless you consider tween icons in bikinis having threesomes in a movie that made 100,000,000 dollars art..which I guess Hollywood does…

I guess that’s why she’s decided to get behind the camera, and jack up some filters, to make shit look all arty, if you consider film student smut art, and the whole thing is really fucking weird….

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

30

Apr

These Carmen ELectra Pics Disturb Me of the Day

No Comments »

Carmen Electra posted these pics of her rocking a really hot body in a bikini, despite her botox face, because all she does is workout, since her hotness is all that defines her…and her bank account.

I mean she didn’t even get knocked up in her 30s like all the other girls….you know to have a kid to transfer her narcism to a new generation when she had the chance…now she’s all menopausal, but has all the time in the world to do yoga, pilates and whatever else it takes…

She was too into herself and her career to ever damage her body, since that’s the only thing that has brought her money, like a stripper or hooker I guess she is…

All this to say, her posing with another plastic woman, while being half naked is oddly erotic…but still fucking weird…but I guess weird is the future of porn since…since we’ve seen everything she’s capable of…

Posted in:Carmen Electra

2014

30

Apr

Hilary Rhoda is Hot in W of the Day

No Comments »

Hilary Rhoda is some model who is engaged to some Hockey Player from Canada named Sean Avery…which I guess has nothing to do with anything…because she’s already secured herself as a Sports Illustrated Model without him…and here she is in W magazine wearing what could be a bikini, because that’s what bikini models do, and I am posting it because I liked the pictures…you know in a basic low level retard kind of “those colours are nice” kind of way…

I could go into her history as a greek girl, and wonder if like Maria Menounos she liked Greek, but I realize there’s no point, every girl likes anal, even those who aren’t naturally or genetically predisposed to it…

I could go onto her wikipedia or her instagram to see who the person behind the bikini body is…but who gives a fuck, like a retard likes playing with rocks, I just like the pics…

Posted in:Hilary Rhoda

2014

30

Apr

Christina Milian in a Bikini Top of the Day

No Comments »

Christina Milian is an interesting attention seeker, who isn’t really interesting at all, but who is interesting enough, when I am posting a story about her….

Sure, this isn’t really a story about her, but rather bikini pics she put on instagram, that I am posting as an excuse to talk about myself and the fact that I am not a racist, since everyone is up on this racist shit, I would bang a black girl, and my inability to bang black girls is because black girls are as racist as that Sterling dude…and think Mexicans are beneath them or some shit…take away their personal property…it’s only fair.

I can’t imagine anyone really cares about this mom who is never Mom-ing, but always at the pool, when she’s not hosting of The Voice Live Shows, a job that doesn’t really make sense, but then again, the show is based on Adam Levine, which also doesn’t make sense, and for that should be killed off….but won’t since it makes too much money…

I mean, her highlight was being popstar who had one dirty video, that would have made me believe she was heading in the right direction of being a giant hooker, which I guess she kind of did, since she gets residuals on all the songs her husband at the time gave her credit on, like all the billion dollar Beiber shit, making her a good candidate to try and K-Fed, if she wasn’t busy making her own strategic slut moves…that I hope are better than these bikini pics…

Posted in:Christina Milian

2014

30

Apr

Eugenia Suarez in Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

Eugenia Suarez is the next Shakira…if Shakira was from Argentina not Colombia and actually hot…maybe I’m like Donald Sterling and think all South Americans are the fucking same…something that I’d let my 21 year old hooker record me saying, only for me to get forced into selling my personal assets, since being a racist, is against the rules, even though all the other billionaires out there, who became billionaires doing illegal and soulless things…get to keep their assets…which has nothing to do with anything, at least not when staring at this Eugenia Suarez in some boring lingerie pics…because all lingerie pics are boring, whether they feature hispanic superstars, or your fucking mom…I kind of hate them all…maybe because I’m more into sniffing panties than looking at pics of panties…who knows…

Posted in:Eugenia Suarez

2014

30

Apr

Dani Thorne in a Thong Bikini on the Beach of the Day

No Comments »

Here is Dani Thorne trying to carve her own place in the world…by posting some of the worst shot bikini pics every to happen on instagram…because I guess the new age of hipster “I Don’t Give A Fuck”…is going to the trouble to upload a picture of yourself for your audience…even though that is technically giving a fuck…and making sure you just don’t pose in it…

I don’t know much about the THORNE family, other than that one of them is 16 and apparently, famous, meaning the parents are hippie stage parents who figure, why not monetize kids when you have them, and this is the older one, jealous of the younger one, leading to her doing shit like this….along with other campaigns like THIS ONE and THIS ONE ….not so hot, but leveraging her sister…it works for her…

TO SEE HER NASTY GAL CAMPAIGN THAT Isn’t Hot Enough to Post CLICK HERE

Posted in:Dani Thorne

2014

30

Apr

Charlotte Kemp Muhl Panty Flash in Numero of the Day

No Comments »

Charlotte Kemp Muhl is apparently Sean Lennon’s girlfriend, they’ve been dating since she was “18”…after meeting at Coachella in 2006, before McDonald’s raped the event and filled it up with Urban Outfitters shoppers…who don’t realize anything with the world URBAN in it is dumb.

She’s been modelling since she was 13 ,because I guess she was freakishly tall…and apparently she also makes music, music I am too lazy to bother looking up, because all I really care about is that she’s in a photoshoot flashing her panties, like she was Paris Hilton performing for the paparazzi…or any girl who meets me because they just can’t keep their pants on, I’m that exciting…or they are just that medicated…

Posted in:Charlotte Kemp Muhl

2014

30

Apr

Izabel Goulart Compromising Pics on Instagram of the Day

No Comments »

Izabel Goulart posted this picture of her on Instagram from set yesterday, where she was shooting in Miami, but didn’t seem to have the decency to give me a call to meet up for lunch, because that’s just the kind of trick she is…

Normally, Izabel Goulart posts pics of her working out, in ridiculous long leg lean body goodness, but today she decided to simulate a rape for what she calls a “secret project”…

Now I know that girls have 3 major sex fantasies when they masturbate, lesbian sex, gang bang and rape…so maybe this has something to do with that…

Or maybe it’s international women’s rape day, where you support those who have been raped, because for some reason like making a racial slur, rape commentary brings out the rape victims, and rape victims are fucking annoying, because unlike girls with rape fantasies, they are all traumatized by the shit.

Not that it matters, I mean a picture says a thousand words, and allows you to create your own creepy to it, I’m just posting pictures, cuz that’s what I do…whether it’s simulated sex, rape, or just a gay dude doing her hair, who cares…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart